Yakunan heard Xenudah whimper behind his shoulder, and he knew exactly what he was feeling.
Maybe it wasn't just the pain of losing him... Maybe it was also the fear of losing him forever... The thought of losing him had haunted him from the very second he first saw him as a child... He couldn't imagine being apart from him now... He wouldn't trade his time with his son for the world. And neither will I let anyone else come between us, either…
"Apa… Am I a burden to you? Is that why you can't stand looking at me?"
Yakunan froze. His heart clenched painfully at his son's words. "What makes you say that, Xenudah?"
"When you looked at me earlier today... It was like you were staring at something horrible. Something you've seen and are afraid of seeing again. I… I guess I made you uncomfortable. I mean, if you've seen something terrible enough to scare you away, then it must have hurt you really badly and-"
"Oh, Xenu… No…never… I could never imagine you being a burden..." Yakunan reassured him immediately.
He could feel his son shaking. "I… I don't want to hurt you…" He muttered.
"Never in your wildest dreams would I ever think you are a burden on me... Xenudah Yamiku Akurai, look at me. Please."
His son slowly lifted his head off his chest and met his father's gaze with tears in his eyes.
"You're not a burden to me..." He smiled tenderly. "You have nothing to worry about... You're such an innocent soul… A person whom I adore so much. You're perfect, so perfect... And you've always been special to me, just as you are now..." He brushed some stray bangs out of his son's eyes, pressing his son's forehead to his own. "I promise with my life… Nothing is going to change how much I love you… Nothing is going to make you a burden to me…"
"A-Apa..." Xenudah whimpered, his voice fragile and shaky. "I'm so scared... Please... I can't do this…not without you."
"Ohhhh, Xenu... My child... If you only saw yourself the way I do... You'd realize…" Yakunan trailed off, unable to finish that sentence. He felt his throat tighten up and tears well in his eyes. "I can't lose you again… I refuse to believe there would be anything worse than that..." He said shakily. "If anything happened to you because of my own stupidity, I'd–" He couldn't hold back the sobs anymore. "I'll never forgive myself. You are too precious and dear to me to allow me to go through that again." He took a shuddering breath. "I swear to the beings above, Xenudah Akurai…I will take care of you. No matter what happens to me, I promise you, I will take good care of you. I…I love you so much. More than I can describe..." Tears rolled down his face as his grip around him tightened. "I promise I'll never let you go…"
A few more moments passed, and the two eventually found it in themselves to finally calm down somewhat.
"You're still just a child, Xenudah... A child who's spent his entire life feeling so alone... Forced to grow up so fast, so quickly... So quickly, that one day all you remember is that you had lost everything. Everything you thought you had... Your innocence, your naïveté… All those years of happiness… It's gone... Now you only know fear and despair…" He sighed heavily. "There's no denying it... You're growing up too fast. Much too fast. And I want nothing more than to protect you... Keep you safe and away from harm... Even if it means sacrificing my own life… But... There are things in this world that I simply cannot control..."
Yakunan's grip loosened, but not entirely. He glanced away, his voice trembling again. He gazed once again into his son's eyes, his deep blue eyes tearing up at his next statement. "...And there are things I just simply cannot live without. And I know you will need me... That is the biggest problem... That is why I am so terrified of letting you go…" His hand reaches forward, brushing through his son's hair in a gentle, comforting motion. "I love you so deeply that I can't see you suffering any longer, Xenudah. I need you to trust me when I tell you I know that this will not be easy. Things will get hard... They always seem harder when we're together... But... If you give me a little more time, I promise I'll figure something out..."
Xenudah simply nodded, curling closer to his father, laying his head against his father's shoulder. "I know you will…" His voice was soft and filled with longing. "I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble…"
A slight smile appeared on Yakunan's face. He placed a gentle kiss on his son's temple. "No… You have nothing to apologize for…" He whispered. "I would do anything for you, Xenudah... And I will continue to do so until the day I die…"
For a moment, they just sat there, holding each other in silence. Then Xenudah spoke quietly. "Thank you… For coming back for me…"
"Anytime, sweetheart… Anytime."
"Apa…"
"Oh, Xenu… It's okay… I'll stay as long as you need me…"
"I think I'll always need you, Apa…" Xenu whimpered once again.
Yakunan pulled him even closer and kissed his forehead. "As long as you need me, Xenudah… Always."
"A-Apa... Can we stay here for a while?" Xenudah asked quietly after a while, looking into his eyes shyly. "Can you hold me…?"
"Of course, my son…" Yakunan murmured as he wrapped his arms tightly around his son, keeping him close and safe. "I'm right here, as long as you need me…"
"Apa, don't go… Please don't go…" Xenudah whined as he buried his face in his father's neck, hugging him tighter. "Please… Don't leave me. I don't want to be alone. Don't leave me!"
"Apa's right here... I'm right here... Don't worry... Just... Let it all out, son. Let all that pain go... You don't have to keep it bottled up inside."
"I… I'm s...sorry…"
"Don't apologize for feeling this way, Xenudah… We'll get through this… Together…" Yakunan assured him before pressing another kiss on his head. "We'll find a way... I'm sure of it…"
"A-AAAAPAAAAAA!" Xenudah clung to his father's haori, allowing strangled sobs to escape, his entire body trembling. "WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HURT SO BADLY?!"
"I know it hurts, Xenu... I know it does…"
"It… It's not fair…" Xenudah wailed, burying himself further in his father's embrace.
"It isn't, my love… Oh, Xenudah… You deserved the world... Why did someone as lovely as you deserve to suffer so much?" He pressed another soft kiss against his head.
"Apa…" Xenudah whimpered. "Apa…"
"Xenu, darling... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I wasn't able to protect you better... It's all my fault... I should have protected you more carefully..." Yakunan whispered brokenly. "You're my child…my entire world… How could I… I hate being so helpless… Because you're my world, Xenudah… My universe… If it weren't for you… I would lose myself." He pressed his lips against his forehead lightly. "I couldn't imagine having to live without you... You're a blessing, Xenudah…"
"Scared…Apa...Apa..."
"Xenu...how long have you been feeling this miserable?"
"Since you left me… Decades, I think..."
"Oh, child..." Yakunan pressed his forehead to his son's. "That long? Oh gosh..."
"The last thing I saw before the cave closed was a man–"
Almost instantly, Yakunan's eyes narrowed in fury at something in the distance. "Hikari... I should've known...I should've known!" Yakunan let out a strangled sob, breaking away, covering his face with shaky hands. "I'll tear him apart if he lays a hand on you again... All he's ever tried to do was gaslight me! He knew how much I loved you! I should have known!" He crumpled into a ball on the floor, shaking and trembling. His head shot up and he stood, pulling Xenudah close protectively. "Forget going back to that cave! We're staying here! I'll raise the shields! Heck, I'll block him out myself if need be!"
"Yakunan, why bring my father into all of this?" Garmadon raised his voice.
"Because he's been leading the Oni all along! Hikari was just waiting for an opportunity like this one to strike against me! He's used my one weakness to his advantage, and now that we know about this whole fiasco, all our lives will be in danger!" He growled.
Garmadon sighed. "You have a point, Yakunan. When my Oni blood was awakened by the Devourer venom, he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. The hatred he had for me was almost tangible. And yet, despite that, he managed to change my life for the better. He gave me the chance to have a child with a woman who adored me and cared deeply for my well-being." He glanced over to Lloyd and Misako, a soft smile on his face. "But I won't stand for his misdeeds any longer. I know I made a choice years ago, but…I cannot allow him to win anymore. So, please… If you must seek revenge on him… Do it with my support…"
"Very well." Yakunan nodded determinedly. "If I am willing to risk my life, then I won't let it end there."
"Do what you wish, Yakunan. Whatever it takes to save us all."
"Apa…" Xenudah interjected.
Yakunan let out a soft sigh, glancing away for a few moments before looking back up to his son, his gaze bearing a mix of concern and desperation. "I know I promised to let you make your own decisions…to listen to you, but…I can't lose you again, Xenudah… Please don't make this difficult for us. Not again. I've failed you enough already, my son. Please stop making me fail you even more…"
"Apa…how could you do this to me… How could you say you'd listen to me and then fall back on your promise?!" Xenudah demanded desperately, pushing his father away. "How could you betray my trust like this?!"
"Xenudah…"
"I thought we were supposed to be a family... Didn't we tell each other everything? Everything?! Why are you acting this way?! What's wrong with you!? Did I make you feel so terrible that you decided protecting me would be a bigger priority than your son?! Is that what you think, Apa?! That I'm worth less than you?!"
Yakunan looked at his son's crying eyes and felt his heart breaking yet again, his breath catching in his throat. "My son… I..."
"Do I really mean nothing to you?! I spilled my emotions out because I thought you'd listen! Yet all you want to do is leave me as you did then! You said that if I wanted you back in my life, then I should ask for you! Now it's my turn to ask for help and all I get is a dismissive answer!" Xenudah glanced away sharply, backing away. "And no matter how many times I call, no matter how desperate I try, you won't come! You'll never come! So I'll leave myself so you don't have to hurt me anymore!" Tears started flowing freely down Xenudah's cheeks. "I was better off alone. I wish you'd never found me!" He cried before running back downstairs to sulk in the darkness of his room.
"X-Xenudah... Wait!" Yakunan called out worriedly, rushing to follow his son but not quite reaching him when Garmadon grabbed his arm forcefully.
"You have to leave him be…for now at least… There may come a time when his pain has passed… But until then, give him some space."
"But what am I going to do? He wants nothing to do with me anymore… I'm afraid that he thinks that I'll abandon him again if I push him too far… I want to give him space so he can heal… But if I let him be alone... This might just destroy him more!"
Garmadon shook his head. "He needs a moment to calm down and collect himself. Trust me. He needs time to sort things out… And it's not your place to intervene…"
"I feel so helpless… I waited for so long to reunite with him, and all he does is push me away… How can I do anything when I'm just the cause of this misery..?" Yakunan muttered weakly, tears streaming down his face. "How can I be such a failure… I've loved him since I first created him… I've sacrificed everything, given everything, to protect him… And in return…he pushes me away and it breaks my heart! And it's not even the first time he's done this! I can't keep doing this, Garmadon! I don't know how much more I can take!"
"I can tell you're both stubborn, that's for sure. Your relationship with him is unique and special… It's the only thing that keeps him sane and makes him happy… Don't ruin it. Let him deal with his grief as he chooses to."
"He doesn't want to be near me right now…"
"Right now, yes, but later, if he approaches you, you have to be ready for that. As much as it pains you to admit, he needs more from you… More than anything… If that means giving him time to deal with everything, or if he moves forward, then let him… He'll need you to be the supportive parent that he knows you can be to him. He still sees you like that. It's what he's built you as… A father, to whom he looks up… So please give him the time he needs…"
"I don't understand how someone like you, who's younger than me, seems to be able to speak to me so easily…" Yakunan sighed.
"You know, it wasn't easy living with a parent who wouldn't give you the time of day." Garmadon gazed down. "But the more time you spend together, the more you learn to understand them… Especially with your children... So just wait for him, ok? Give him time…"
"Very well…"
It took about an hour for Xenudah to calm down again and found it in himself to reconnect with his father.
"A-Apa..." Xenu whispered, gazing at Yakunan with a fragile expression.
"Xenu, sweetheart... I shouldn't have pushed you like that... I was just scared of losing you... I love you, Xenudah... So much... I know how much it hurts, how much it hurts to be abandoned... I know how lonely it feels and how much it hurts, but I also know how strong you are and that it's difficult… So please forgive me." Yakunan wrapped Xenu up in his arms, hugging him tightly. "I'm trying… I've tried for so long to fix this...but all I ended up doing was ruining our relationship more!"
"Apa…" Xenudah whimpered, burying his face in his father's shoulder.
Yakunan sobbed as he held his son close to him. "You're all I have left, Xenudah... My strength comes from you... Without you, I'd have lost everything... I couldn't let you go, Xenudah... And now, you won't allow me to stay… And it hurts me more than anything. If you hate me for it, I'm sorry..."
"No…" Xenudah shook his head. "I don't hate you… But I'm tired of being pushed away..."
"I know... I'm sorry, sweetie… I'm so sorry..." Yakunan hugged him tighter. "So, so sorry… I know I should've listened to you... I should've been here for you... I love you so much..." His voice broke as he continued to cry into his son's shoulder, holding him as tightly as he could. "And I know that there's no way I can make up for what I've done to you in the past… But I promise, I will never forget about you, Xenudah… And I'll always be here for you, even if you don't want me to… So please, forgive me… For leaving you, for abandoning you, for hurting you… I'll never do it again…"
"Apa... I forgive you…" Xenudah whispered tearfully, burying his face against his father's shoulder. "Please… Don't leave me anymore. I miss you so much…"
"I've missed you too, my child… I'm so sorry I put you through this..."
"Please, just try to take my feelings into consideration next time... I'm tired of being lied to… and tired of fighting you… So, please... Can you just…try?" Xenudah sniffed and buried his face deeper against his father. "Apa... You promised… Ugh, I always seem to overreact when stuff like this happens... I'm sorry..."
"Shhh, darling… You have nothing to be sorry about… Please don't apologize... Xenudah, you haven't seen me in years… We need more time together, okay? We're so scared to let each other go... Every time we fight, I'm terrified that you're actually going to leave me… That you're going to walk away from me... That's why every time we interact , I find some kind of excuse to avoid you... Because I'm scared that if I look at you, I'll screw everything over… I can't have you leave... I'd lose it… I just… I'm not prepared to live without you… You're my world, Xenudah..."
"And you've always been mine... You're finally here now with me... I thought you were never coming back…" Xenudah whimpered, tightening his grip on his father's haori.
"I wanted to be back, love… But I'm here now, aren't I? I'm not leaving again… I'm sorry, love… I didn't mean to make you so upset… I just… I'm so emotionally thrown over, Xenu… All of this stuff with Hikari coming back was unexpected... And the fact that you came to see me today made me realize that I needed you more than ever. I just didn't know how to ask for your forgiveness, but seeing you here, alive and well…or…as well as you can be when dealing with something like…like this…it was what I needed to hear…"
"I know… You're right… I'm sorry I've been avoiding you… I just need time to think… To process…"
"That's alright. But please, talk to me when you're ready… I don't want to push you away… I'll wait for as long as it takes… Even if I have to do it every single day… I'd rather stay by your side than be anywhere else."