All of the Simply Stupid! Casts: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
SS!Thomas the Tank Engine: Simply Stupid's 1st year anniversary! November 14, 2018! Choo Choo Mother Fuggers!
SS!Dig Dug and SS!Kissy: WOO!/AW YEAH!!!
SS!Kamen Rider Ex-Aid: Where's the- *pow* AHHH MY BALLS!!!
SS!Kamen Rider Poppy: Gomen (Sorry) Emu! *splat!* I think I dropped the... *fwoosh!!!* NO!!! THE ANNIVERSARY CAKE IS ON FIRE!!! *tries to extinguish the fire with her armor on...* Fire! Fire! Fire!
SS!Godzilla (Final Wars): Eight stories full of ratsh!t, batsh!t and my Gramp's sh!t!
SS!Orange Knight (Castle Crashers): So many bloody stories!
SS!Kirby: *sniff sniff* Oh blyat! I'm going to cry!
SS!Mega Man: We couldn't do it without readers like you!
SS!Bomberman: Now let's get onto the story!
Tidmoth Sheds...
"*sigh* First you steam engines smoke... NOW you are setting each other on fire?!" Sir Topham Hatt was having a stressful time as he lectured all of the North Western Railway steam engines. "I had to deal with all of you big #ss sh#ts for the past few decades! That is it! I am replacing all of you with electric locomotives!"
"What?! Why replace us?! Sodor has been reliant on steam and diesel for so long!" Thomas blurted out as the Fat Controller gave him the stink eye.
"I cannot run locomotives that are addicted to marijuana..."
May 4, 1999...
Thomas was pulling Annie and Clarabelle when they saw gunshots being fired at two cars. The police were doing another drug-bust in public. Looking at a fallen leaf, Thomas gave the leaf a little lick.
"Ooh! I think I found something!" Clarabelle was curious when she heard that. Meanwhile, Annie was dozing off after a cheating husband snuck a bottle of wine and molotovs into her storage cabinet. Needless to say, he was divorced after an arrest involving the drugging of a train coach.
"What is it?" Thomas then swallowed the leaf and got high.
"*sniff sniff!* Huhuhuhuhuh!" The E2 gave a hearty laughter at a low pitch, waking up Annie from her sleep.
"Hng... I think you gave Thomas the wrong co- I SMELL WEED! GIVE ME SOME, YOU F#!$ING TWAT!" A nearby brake van then stared at the trio before snorting.
"*snort* Idiots..." Annie heard that and made Thomas put on his brakes when they came near him.
"What did you say?!" The coach roared out as her eyes lit on fire, lighting him up in the process.
"AH!!! I'M ON FIRE!!!" Clarabelle closed her eyes and took a large whiff.
"*inhales and exhales* I feel SO much better..." A suddenly sober Thomas then spat on the coach, extinguishing the flames.
"HOT! HOT! HO- phew... Thank you!" Thomas raised his eyebrows and smiled.
"You are a narco-van?"
"Narco's the name!"
December of 1999 (After Thomas and Clarabel's first marijuana looting)...
(Play Sweet Dreams (Are made of these) By Eurythmics...)
"Ah... This feels so good for my aching axels..." Gordon groaned out as he, James and Henry smoked/chewed marijuana at Tidmoth Sheds. They traded a can of Edward's blue paint for a small box of weed.
(Quit the song...)
August 23, 2018/Chapter 1...
(You have already seen Thomas smoke in ch1. Moving on.)
Present Day...
"...Alcohol..."
September 19, 2004...
After Thomas and Emily met each other and had their little mishap involving Annie, Clarabelle and a few coaches, Thomas had a little idea as to Emily's current behavior of confusion and delay. The Stirling Single has been pretty bossy, but her face has been looking pretty pink just like in the morning when they met.
"*chuff chuff chuff fwsh!* Emily? Are you alright?"
"*glug glug glug* Ish arai!" Emily responded as she lowered her wheels and tried to walk like a quadrupedal animal towards him.
"Why is your skin so pink?"
"Es nae easy tae fegure out, Thomas! Ah luv 'avin a wee too many scrompeh in da mornin'!" Thomas facepalmed himself with his tongue before muttering.
"*smack!* My first female friend that's a Stiriling is an alcoholic..."
Back to present day...
"And violence! Does it really look like I have the money to pay for the island's damages?!" Sir Topham Hatt shouted out as every engine in the steam engines winced. "I have entrusted most of you into many jobs that most modern locomotives would have begged to do instead of dragging freight and explosives across the island or in their home countries! Even Amtrak has done a better job with their locomotives than what you twats have done before! Bloody Amtrak!"
"... Uh... So what now?" Percy whispered out as The Fat Controller stared at all of the steam engines.
"I'm sending engines like Hiro and Nia back to their home countries. My family bought Thomas decades prior to the E2s becoming extinct, so I might sell the rest of you to the LNER, the Great Western Railway and The Southern Railway." Thomas then had a question.
"So what will you do with me?"
"Do you want scrapping, preservation in Brighton, Yorkshire or London or restoration and deportation?"
"Can I stay?"
"NO!" Emily then placed her own two cents.
"And meh? Mos of meh bleedin' famileh es dead! Et es onleh Annag an Ah das nae scrap!" Everyone looked at the Stirling with faces of confusion.
"What did you say?" Henry shouted out, forcing Emily to go into drastic measures.
"*sigh* Feckin' Brits... *pours an entire bottle of scrumpy into her funnel...* Ah said... What about me?! Most of my bloody family in the GNR are dead! All that's left are Annag (Sterling No. 01) and I!" The now drunk locomotive shouted out in a British tone. "I don't wanna go back to England... I don't wanna- *burp!* I don't want to return to Yorkshire... *falls asleep and snores...*"
"*cough* Well, what will it be, Thomas?"
"Uh... What's d- deportation?"
Later...
"*beep beep beep* How does one deport metal and call it deportation? Isn't it called importation?" Percy called out as he and the other steam locomotives were being lifted by cranes into one of the many ships that will send them to the mainland and beyond.
"*sigh* I don't know... I wonder how are the Billintons." Thomas sighed out as he was set down next to a crate full of coal and coconut oil. He was in his original LBSC livery. Not in teal, but in grey, the very colors he had when he met Lawson.
"He died."
"I know, Percy... I kno-"
"Cinders and ashes, Thomas! Rosie's throwing flaming coal at me!" Annie cried out as she swatted lumps of coal with a metal briefcase that was in her luggage cabinet.
"YOU DESERVE IT FOR SETTING ME ON FIRE!" The SR USA tank engine responded. She was also repainted gray, but some of the other steam locomotives still had their original manufactured colors.
"YER A FECKIN' LUNATIC!" Emily was still in emerald green, shouting at a blue Molly with bronze highlights.
"And you don't know how to keep your damn mouth shut!" A grey Edward called out before forgetting. "Uh... What were we talking about? Has anyone seen my robot porn mags?"
Everyone on the ship groaned when they heard that. Percy ate those a few hours ago, thinking that they were massive lumps of coal. "GROSS!" James called out.
"DAS FECKIN' DISGUSTING!" Emily shouted out.
"DEAR GOD, I WANNA HURL!" Thomas hysterically screamed when he realized that Percy ate roboporn magazines.
"Bloody unbelievable!" Annie nearly fainted.
"The indignity!" An LNER blue Gordon wailed as he tried to think of children.
First the Germans stole paintings and I was part of the art return in World War II, now a K2 that has Playbot, Wattbot?! ISN'T THAT FOR ROBOTS?!" Rosie roared out in confusion.
"What is porn?" Percy whispered as Thomas coughed out cinders from his mouth.
It is going to be a long journey, as the cargo ship left Brendam Docks with everything shaking and rattling from the rocky waves. Sure some troublesome trucks were there, holding the stuff the engines treasure the most, but hey, it's real life (Simply Stupid wise). Not much that you can do thanks to the mediocre lunacy of the world around us!
Chapter 4 end...
Just so you guys know, I created the Simply Stupid series on November 14, 2018, with Sudrian Stupids coming into action on June 24, 2019. When I mean stupid, I mean EXTREMELY stupid!
References:
1. How Thomas became a smoker
2. Annie has impulse issues in this
3. It is mostly seen that locomotives are hauling freight unless it is on a company's express line. What I mean to say is that it is rare to see commuter trains on freight lines and that freight locomotives appear more than commuters (An example would be Union Pacific sharing tracks with MetroLink and Amtrak in Glendale, California)
4. Amtrak
5. I thought the first (Last, if we are actually talking about reality!) Stirling single should have a name... So I chose Annag. That means Grace in Gaelic
6. I chose the original livery for some of the locomotives. That's why Molly is blue and Gordon is in LNER Blue
7. I wonder what would Edward sound like with an old man's voice...
8. Playbot, Wattbot from Mega Man: DeafMatch
That's all, folks!