Toph Beifong

Gaoling, Sothern Earth Port City, 95 AG

Perhaps it's just something my mind put together that I liked the idea of, by I'm fairly sure that my first memory if of his laugh, loud, and bubbling and higher than it is now. But if it wasn't his laugh, than I perhaps it was his arms, his legs, his warmth. I may not have known how to tell people apart with my bending while I was young, but I didn't need that if everyone was so different from the person I was trying to tell apart.

If no one else, I've always understood him. It's not like either of us have it easy.

I tilt my head slightly to listen for Samir before I stand up and reach out to touch the cherry tree. I wander around the clearing and check on all of the flowers and other plants that are the same type as ones I've found in garden. I smile slightly as I hear Samir appear, and I only have to wait a moment before he tackles me.

His fingers press in the specific pattern that means me, that means Toph.

Hello, silly, I giggle, turning so that I can hug him and press the words into his skin. How are you?

Good! Samir replies, bouncing slightly as he pulls back. Mama let me make string today.

Oh, yeah? I ask, sitting down. How did you do?

Samir shifts slightly, sitting down next to me and slumping as he considers my words. My string was really lumpy, and mother said that it was weak because I was adding the new length of cord too late.

Don't worry, I encourage him, reaching out to grasp his upper arms. Remember, that was your first time making strong. You'll get better!

Yeah! Samir nods brightly, straightening. Then he leans forward and asks softly, How are you?

My parents are still stifling me, I grumble, leaning back into the tree. I asked them to at least let me be alone when I'm in the garden, that doesn't change much, but all that happened was the grad started to walk a ways behind me. It's like they think I can't hear him! On the very loud gravel!

You still going to try to run away? Samir asks gently.

Yes, I reply without hesitation. I tried it the nice way, it didn't work.

I wish you'd wait for me to come get you, Samir sighs. I know you don't need anyone really, but I'd feel so much better if you'd wait for me.

Yes, and I'll feel so much better if I have to wait five years before I escape my parents, I snort. I'll be fine. Besides, I don't want you to - It'll hurt. You already have enough troubles at the edge of the desert. Coming to Gaoling would hurt even more.

You don't have to worry about that, Samir insists, but his shifting shows his discomfort with the idea. I'll be fine.

It doesn't matter, I state firmly, lifting my chin stubbornly. I'm coming to meet you!

His reply doesn't require words, and he grasps my hand, gently squeezing it.

Can't you let me go? I groan silently as I hold myself still in the miniscule niche I'd managed to create. I can hear the guards running around on the gravel of the path ways and yelling at each other. The niche is lumpy against my back, and I try not to frown as I shift slightly to get away from a rock digging into my back.

I've been in here for a while, and while I'm still savoring the triumph of getting out of my guard's notice, I had thought that they would have stopped searching by now. I'm pretty sure that night has fallen by now from the feeling of cold air, but they're still running around the garden and searching for me.

I sigh silently, and settle myself back against the lumpy wall of the niches. My teacher is useless, I learned just about nothing from him. He's always demonstrating things in front of me, doing something then telling me to copy him and getting frustrated when all I do - all I can do is stand there. He forgets I'm blind, acts as if I can see, and doesn't let me talk at all whenever he's teaching me. Everything I've done in order to earthbend has been own my own. And, I scowl as I shift again, trying to find a spot where there isn't a rock poking into my back, what little I've managed has been pitiful.

Finally, what was probably hours after I'd managed to hide, people finally stop running around the garden. I wait a while more before I cautiously creep out of my hiding place. I carefully make my way over to the sturdy tree that grows along the garden wall and I climb it carefully, groping for the branches and the wall. I manage to get myself over the wall without too much trouble, but I'm shivering by the time I land on my feet with a thud.

I stumble slightly then start to walk carefully. I can't see anything in front of me, and for once, I don't know where everything around me is because I've never been here before. It's exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I can see why Samir wanted me to wait for him now, and my teeth start to chatter as I walk through the night.

I yelp as the next step I take is on thin air, and I trip and fall what feel to be about the same distance as I'd fallen from the top of the wall. I land on what feels like a . . . an animal? There's a loud grumbling sound, and I yelp, scrambling off of the animal and falling to the ground. I try to get out of whatever it is that I fell into, only to find myself pushed against the rock of a rough wall. I tremble as the animal moves, feeling air puff against my face and a wet nose before it -

"Oh, ew!"

I wipe the animal's spit off my face, just in time for it to lick me again.

"Alright, alright," I say, trying to push the animal's head away. It sniffs me one more time then lumbers back to where it had been sleeping before I crashed into it. I blink, then yawn. It's been awhile since I was able to relax because I had to be so still while I was hiding. It wouldn't be bad it I slept here, right?

When I wake up in the morning after a night with Samir, the animal is gone and I'm alone in the hole. I sight and stand. I knew that was too good to be true. I stumble slightly as suddenly the ground around me rumbles and gasp as I hear some of the rock moving to me right with a grinding sound. The animal from last night - it's got to be a badgermole - comes in and dumps something at my feet then licks me again.

I can't help but laugh slightly this time as the nudges my neck and tickles me. I crouch down and grab the thing that the badgermole had dropped in front of me. It's an appleorange, a bit slimy from the badgermole's spit, but still recognisable. I carefully peel a little bit of it and bite into it, smiling at the familiar taste. I stumble slightly when the badgermole nudges me and look up. "What is it?"

The badger mole nudges me again, towards the wall behind me. It makes a snorting sound and paws at the wall. I tilt my head, still not understanding. The badger mole make the shuffling sound again, then it shifted - I could feel the way it moved without any doubt that it would be stopped. And the earth moved with the badge mole, sliding to the ceiling and solidifying itself into a layer of hard rock.

Then then badgermole shifts again, and the earth that it had moved to the ceiling slides down and becomes a wall again. I tremble because I know exactly what happened. I know exactly - well, not exactly, but almost - how to do that myself. I know to to move the earth so that I can walk, and I know how to -

I know where everything is. The badgermole had dropped more than just the appleorange at my feet, and I find myself crouching to pick up the lettucechoke and the eggsquash, just to check that they're really there. The badger mole nudges me again as I stand with the vegetables under one arm, and the partially eaten appleorange in my other hand.

"Alright," I say. "Alright."

And I shift-

I don't know how long I was with the badgermoles before he found me - day become very subjective when you don't have something holding you to a schedule, and I never cared to ask - but I doubt that it was any amount of time less than a month because I had learned so much.

Samir's footsteps were so different - light, and drifting, only just hinting at where he was. This person's footsteps were heavy. It wasn't until he was down in the tunnels that I realised that his tunnels remind me of mine - of the badgermole's.

He pauses when he sees me alone in the tunnel. "What are you doing here?"

"I ran away," I say slowly. I hadn't talked with words really since I left.

"Would you come back with me?"

Go back? "Why?"

He huffed a laugh. "I need the money. They were beginning to lose hope, so I I thought that I might as well. I didn't expect to succeed."

He sounds tired, and lost. I consider the badgermoles who are just beyond the stone wall. They'd taken care of me and taught me how to see. But there isn't anything left to learn. They aren't as inventive as humans, and they don't have as many tricks. "Alright."

The man talks to me as we go, his hand in mine to lead me despite the dirt and the muck I can feel covering me, despite the way I know I smell, despite that fact that I don't stumble once.

Nuan. His name is Nuan, and he's from Nishiyama - one of the oldest Fire Nation colonies.

"Your family managed to stay?" I ask him.

"Stay? What are you talking about?" Nuan asks me.

"You're an earthbender, or at least from an earth family."

"I'm Fire Nation, brat."

I tilt my head and examine his footsteps silently for a couple of moments. "You walk like an earthbender. Firmly. I don't know what firebenders walk like, but you walk like an earthbender."

There's silence.

"I am one."

So, you went back with him? Samir asks, rolling thread together in an attempt to make a smooth string.

He's interesting. My mother offered him a job when I got back, so he'll around for a while. There wasn't really much more for me to learn from the badgermole anyways. Mostly I just needed to practice.

But the stifling?

I can stand it.

"Brat, running away just to come over to my house isn't a good thing."

I grin at his exasperation, swinging my legs.

"You know that look doesn't work on me," Nuan says, but his voice is softer as he settles next to me.

"Always worth a try," I shrug, letting my heels knock against the wall. "How's your bending coming along?"

"It's coming along fine, like it was the last time you asked. You know, your parents are going to get suspicious if I'm the one who always finds you."

"Well, I'm so good at disguising my tracks that it's not like anyone else could find me," I say happily. "So, what do you think of that earthbender competition? Do you think I could win?"

"I think that's a good way of getting trapped as a gladiator brat. Once the producers have found someone who's good, they'll want them to keep coming back until they're defeated. And by the time you decide you want to leave, they know your style well enough to know when you're faking."

"You seem to know a lot," I state blandly.

"Thank my cousin. He was like me, and he decided to fight in the Nishiyama rumble. It was fire and earth, and everyone wore disguises, so he wasn't suspicious. He did fairly well despite - or maybe because of his lack of any formal training, so he was asked to come back."

I can hear the sadness in his voice, but he just keeps looking forward. "By the time he had enough money to make it out of the Nishiyama area and perhaps settle somewhere else, he was fairly popular. We got him out, but it was hard. I don't know where he is now because if we'd contacted him, they would have been able to find him."

"Alright." Even if I hadn't felt the way his heart beat remained steady, that was a discouraging tale. "Alright. Will you help me practice then?"

"Sure."

I'm not going to the Rumbles.

Good!

Nuan talked me out of it. Told me his cousin's story. It sounded bad.

I told you it was a bad idea, but no, you had to go play with the big, rough earthbenders.

I'm a big, rough earthbender. I can take care of myself. Besides, he promised to help me practice.

You are not a big, rough earthbender, you're my sweet and precious little Toph. Ow!

You were asking for it, Granite.

Sugar.

Sandstone.

Honey.

"So, have you heard of that one guy the traders are talking about? The one who defended them from the Fire Nation soldiers on their way here?" Nuan asks, not even bothering to chastise me before he sits down. I grin around the boiled sweet I'd grabbed from his pantry. It's been a year since we met, and he's finally stopped trying to scold me for coming over to his house whenever I didn't feel like being at home.

"No, I have not heard about him, seeing as the only time I would hear about him is with you," I grumble. "So, what's interesting about him?"

"Well, he's wearing a spirit mask. He choose one that was appropriate, but . . ."

"You think he's actually a spirit?"

"Well, consider what spirits let people use their image for: plays, festivals, and decoration. Outside of that, they tend to be mad at people who pretend to be them," Nuan says slowly.

"True," I nod. "Well, we probably won't be seeing him if different groups have seen him. He's probably just going to say in that area."

Toph.

His hands flinch away halfway through my name, and I quickly reach out for him, blood sticking to my fingers as I reach for his hand. He's covered in blood. He's covered in blood. I- he's covered in blood! What do I do?

His breathing is uneven

(he always breathes evenly he's an airbender he has to breathe evenly)

as I find his hands clasped against his side. Samir convulses slightly, and I can hear him throw up

(the sound of liquid hitting the leafs beneath his back the smell of bile fills the air sharply, mixing with the copper scent of blood)

before he moans, the sound long and low. I scramble to do something, anything, but I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do-

"-lady! Milady! Please wake up milady! It's just a dream!"

I gasp, fighting against the arms that are pulling me away from Samir.

"No! No! Don't die! You can't die! Sa-" I break into a coughing fit, my throat raw.

"Milady please!"

The words break me out of my train of thought this time, and I go limp in the maid's arms, still sobbing.

Why did I wake up? When he needed me, why did I wake up? Samir -

"Milady, are you alright?" the maid asks gently, letting me crawl back onto my bed.

"Do you know how to treat a gut wound?" I ask, pulling my blanket up to cover me again.

"N-no," the maid replies, sounding startled. "Why? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine. Bye."

"Milady?"

"Thank you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, milady."

The morning came, as sleepless as the night before it, and I blink dry eyes against the nothingness as I listen to servants moving outside my door. Samir's hurt. I couldn't sleep. Saamir's hurt, and I couldn't sleep so I couldn't help him. My breath hitches slightly as I hold back a sob. I couldn't help him because I couldn't sleep - and what if he's dead? What if he's dead because I couldn't help him what if he's alive but he doesn't want to talk to me see me communicate ever again because I couldn't help him what if he's alive this might happen again if he's alive it might happen again and what if I can't help him then I need -

The maid comes in, gets me out of bed, and dresses me. I woodenly follow her directions and stand there when she leaves me alone.

What if he's dead. I can't let this happen again.

I reach for my hair to pat it slightly. It's in another of the utterly ridiculous hairstyles that my family is always telling my maid to do my hair up in, one of the ones that I pull out the moment I find an excuse to. My dress today is overly elaborate, with embroidered flowers, totally unpractical. Before, I'd found these things necessary to please my family, but I shouldn't be here. I should be with Samir.

"Brat," Nuan says. I shift the bag to my other side so that he can sit next to me, and he does after a moment. "What are you planning?"

"I'm leaving."

" . . . that's rather sudden. What happened?"

"Someone was hurt, and I wasn't there for him."

There's a pause, and I'm sure that Nuan's staring at me.

"You wouldn't happen to be talking with them in your dreams, would you?"

Talking, not exactly, but the sentiment is close enough. I nod.

"Spirits! It's everyone and their brother around me," Nuan mutters, shifting his weight slightly on the stone roof to run a hand through his hair. "Can I come with you?"

I tilt my head slightly at the question, and after all our time together, he knows me well enough to know what I'm asking.

"No. I'm not doing this because your parents are paying me to." Nuan hesitates for a moment before he continues. "There were some people - my best friend and his brother - who met with people in their dreams. I know that you don't have any opportunities to contact people outside of here, and I thought that . . . that you might be like them."

I consider that for a moment. "You think I'm like your best friend?"

I can practically feel his eyes on me. "Yeah."

I sigh and tilt my face upwards. The air is still, and I and abruptly reminded of Samir

(might be dead I need to go)

"Well then, I'll give you an hour to pack. Be quicker if you can."

Nuan shifts as he nods, and I lean back against the roof so that I can pretend that I'm only sheltered from the wind. Nuan is ready in half an hour, with a set of loudly crinkling papers tucked and wrapped between a pair of earth slabs. Then we're off.

At the end of the first day, after I'd pulled my hair out of the elaborate (and falling apart) arrangement that the maid had put it in that morning, I silently tuck the pins and sticks and various other things I'd found in my hair into my bag. I can't sleep. The next morning, I pull my hair up into the simpler bun favored by most people, people who needed their hair to stay up while they worked.

Nuan looks but doesn't comment. We break camp and start walking. We reach a small village about halfway through the day, and pick up a lot of food and water. I hadn't thought to get the supplies, and what Nuan had brought wouldn't last for very long. I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep, my mind won't stop thinking and I can't stop shifting because Samir might be dead and if he's dead I don't think I can if he's dead then

My head buzzes and one moment Nuan is telling me that he's going to get supplies, the next moment I'm plodding along in the desert again, and I don't know what happened between those two moments.

It happens more and more though, one moment Nuan's humming a song from Dance of the Phoenix, the next he's muttering his way through a ditty that sounds suspiciously like one of Kun's hymns. At one point I find myself leaning against sandstone, face turned to the distance in the direction I know I have to go towards.

Then the night is slipping away and we're walking again. Nuan makes me drink at some point, and I remember tugging at his arm to show his a hidden well where we could refill our water skins at some point before suddenly I find myself looking at a grouping of dark tents, and there are date trees because of course there are date trees, this is an oasis and there are people scattered like matchstick and there are people in metal, silly people, you don't wear metal in the desert and there are people wearing long long robes over robes and there is person with mask and robe walking towards

tent is cool and there is arm on my shoulder and there is Samir and there is Samir and there is Samir and his eyes are closed and I touch his face and I close my eyes and there is talking and there is Samir

Toph?

Toph!

Please wake up Toph.

There's a pair of hands on my shoulders and a smile of my lips as I drift towards consciousness.

Samir is here.