AN: Here is the next chapter, a little bit earlier than expected. I have always loved the friendship between Donna and Rachel and I really missed them in season 8 and 9! Anyway, I hope you like it. Thanks again for reading and taking the time to review!
January 8th, 2019
The clock is striking 9 pm, which is a surprisingly early time for Rachel to be home, at least in the last few weeks. She just decided on watching tv with a nice glass of wine, when she hears someone knock on the door. It's probably just Mike who forgot his key again, but her gut tells her it's somebody else..and she is proven right.
„Donna? What are you doing here?" Rachel asks, obviously surprised.
„I..brought wine." Donna mumbles and holds up the bottle of wine. She attempts to smile, but her eyes betray her.
Rachel eyes her with her „tell-me-the-truth"-look and gives her an encouraging smile. She hates to see her best friend hurt, but she is glad that Donna decided to open up to her.
„I came..to talk." Donna adds and without further ado, Rachel opens the door wide enough for Donna to enter.
Donna strolls into the kitchen, grabs two glasses out of the dishwasher and fills them with the wine she brought. She hands Rachel one of the two glasses and they sit down on the couch.
„Mike's not here yet." Rachel states, probably wanting to make it more comfortable for Donna to open up.
„So how have you been doing lately?" Donna asks, searching for an easy way to start the conversation. They barely talked in the past few weeks, since they are both busy with the firm.
„I am good, Donna..but this is not what you came here to talk about." Rachel replies and her hand searches for Donna's. She squeezes it slightly in another attempt to encourage Donna. She knows that Donna needs her time to open up. Even though they barely talked, Rachel still noticed that her friend wasn't doing well.
„I know..I just don't know how to start." Donna admits and Rachel nods understandingly.
„Why don't you start at the beginning?" Rachel asks softly with the hint of a smile. Donna nods and takes a big sip of wine, trying to drink up some courage.
„Okay..uhm remember when I told you that Harvey and I..slept together, before we moved to the firm?" Donna asks and Rachel nods. Of course she does, how could she forget that?
„Well..what I didn't tell you is..that I was maybe..kinda..pregnant..after that." she mumbles quietly. It's only the second time she ever said that out loud and it sounds weird..somewhat foreign.
„What?" Rachel gasps, all color left her face. Rachel had expected anything - from an illness to a secret romance with Harvey that wasn't working out quite the way they had hoped - but never in a million years would she have guessed this.
„You..and Harvey..were pregnant? Like he was..the father?" Rachel stumbles, obviously not quite convinced. Donna nods and can't help but chuckle at Rachel's reaction.
„Oh god..I am sorry..this is just not what I expected at all." Rachel adds, underlining the last word to show Donna just how surprised she is, and gives her an apologizing look.
„It's fine, Rachel." Donna assures her with a small smile.
„Okay..so uh what happened then?" Rachel asks carefully, because even though she doesn't know how this story continues, there is one thing she is sure of: it's everything but easy for Donna.
And so she begins to tell Rachel everything. From their decision to give up Ava for adoption to the way the newest interns' are reminding her of her, their, daughter.
.
Harvey is sitting on his couch in his penthouse, a glass of scotch his only company. He stares into the blank and his thoughts begin to wander again. He thinks about Donna and about calling her, but he doesn't do it. Deep down he knows that she has been thinking about the same things he can't seem to get out of his head. He could see it in her face, when she handed him those files in the morning. But what if it's just his mind playing tricks on him? He doesn't wanna hurt her by bringing all this up, especially since there is nothing much they can do about it now anyway.
He thinks back to the day his, their, daughter was born and a sad smile appears on his face.
FLASHBACK: December 14th, 2004
It's a cold december day and Harvey is sitting in his office, desperately trying to get some work done. But no matter how hard he tries, his thoughts always shift to Donna and their baby. Her due day is on December 16th, so it can basically happen any moment.
He looks up to the cubicle in front of his office. Just a few months ago, Donna sat there. Somehow she managed to look up most times he eyed her from his office, a soft smile on her lips. He could really use that smile right about now. Even though he is only an associate, he got a replacement secretary, when Donna left a few months ago, because she was starting to show. She has to take care of some family issues - that's at least what everyone else at the firm believes. He is pretty sure that Jessica didn't quite buy that story, but since he offered to pay the „inconvenience" out of his own pocket, she allowed it.
The sound of his phone pulls him out of his thoughts. When he sees Donna's caller ID, something inside of him freaks.
„Hey. Is everything okay?" he asks softly.
„Harvey! I think my water just broke..and I.." she mumbles. She sounds confused and lost and all he wants to do is hug her and make all that anxiety go away.
„Okay, Donna, stay calm. It's gonna be okay." he says, trying to sound steady and calm, even though he feels like doing anything but staying calm.
He can hear her sob a few times, before her breathing becomes more steady again. She kept it together for months, but now the reality of her situation hits her hard.
„Listen to me. Ray is gonna pick you up and I am going to meet you at the hospital, okay?" Harvey adds.
„Okay...thank you, Harvey." she says and he can hear her get up.
„It's gonna be okay." he says and with that he hangs up the phone. For a few moments he feels like he is glued to his chair. He just can't wrap his head around the fact that this is really happening right the hell now. In retrospect, he had no idea what was coming. And as much as that scares him, he knows he's gotta be there for Donna. He jumps up and almost bumps into Louis on his way to the elevator's.
„Hey Harvey..I am actually on my way to your office, we need to talk." Louis says.
„Sorry Louis, but that has to wait. There is an emergency." Harvey replies and disappears into one of the elevator's.
„You would really do anything to escape a talk with me, huh? But you know what, Specter? You can't run from me forever!" he can hear Louis call after him and for a moment he forgets about his situation and chuckles. If only Louis knew what's really going on. He would probably need a whole week to recover from that.
.
When Harvey gets out of the cab right in front of the hospital, a mixture of rain and snow greets him paired with a lousy wind. He hecticly scans the area, but doesn't spot Donna, which isn't that unlikely since the hospital is closer to the firm than to her apartment.
A few minutes later, Ray pulls up. They help Donna get out of the car and into a wheel chair. Ray wishes them good luck and with a last friendly nod, he disappears into his car again. Ray is the only person who knows about Donna's pregnancy aside from Harvey and he is pretty sure that it's Harvey's kid, too, but he never asked and they both are really thankful for that.
.
„One last push!" Ms Hastings, a nurse says.
Donna looks up at Harvey and she seems to be so fragile. He gives her a smile and squeezes her hand in encouragement.
„You can do it." he whispers and just a few seconds later he can feel her squeeze his hand really hard, in order to find something to hold onto.
A scream fills the room and Donna and Harvey both watch the nurse cut the umbilical cord and wrap the little girl into a towel with big eyes.
„It's a beautiful girl." the nurse says, when she hands Donna the newborn. The nurses leave the room just a few minutes later, giving Donna and Harvey some time alone with the girl.
„She really is beautiful." Donna states in awe.
„Yeah..she looks like a mini-you." he replies and their eyes lock, their faces are dangerously close. And before they can think their actions through, his lips already found hers. It's a soft and meaningful kiss. For a moment their luck seems perfect. It's just when the baby starts chuckling that they break the kiss.
„Did she just..chuckle?" Donna asks and a big smile appears on her face, when she sees the little baby smiling at her parents.
„Can I hold her?" Harvey asks after a while of them staring at the little girl peacefully drifting in and out of sleep. She carefully hands the little one over to him.
He's heard it many times. That story about the love you feel when you hold your kid in your arms for the very first time. He's always thought of that as somewhat of a cliche or make believe. But when he watches his daughter open her eyes - which are so similar to his own- in his arms and look up at him, he can practically feel his heart grow ten times bigger. He never wants to let her go again.
„I think we should name her Ava after all." he says slowly, gently caressing the redheaded baby.
„You do? I thought you didn't like that name." she replies surprised, watching him slightly rock the baby in his arms.
„I never said that. Besides, I looked it up..the name goes back to ‚aval' what means strength in some german dialect or something like that." he says and looks up with a smile, „That kind of fits, don't you think?"
She looks at him, the surprise in her eyes not able to be overlooked.
„What?" he asks. He loves to surprise her, make her question the things she already knows about him, make her like him even more.
„I..yeah..it fits." she stumbles. She is wearing a big smile now, too.
PRESENT TIME: January 8th, 2019
They never talked about the moment they had shared in that hospital bed, but he can still remember that her lips tasted like a mixture of strawberry and salt - the salt probably coming from the tears. He blamed it on the intensity of the moment, she on her hormones. It's like they put it in a box with everything else that happened that day and the months before. It's deeply covered under hundreds of other memories, but not forgotten.
Harvey gulps down the rest of his drink and stands up to go to his room to change into something more comfortable. He decides that going for a run might clear his head a little, the cold january-air just helping that purpose.
.
„Do you regret it?" Rachel asks, still trying to process the things Donna has just told her over a bottle of wine.
„Regret what?" Donna asks. She's too tired to pull of her „I am Donna and I know"- thing tonight.
„Do you regret..giving her up for adoption?" Rachel asks carefully.
„I don't know..I mean back than it kind off seemed like the right thing to do." she answers slowly, „But I guess maybe a part of me does, yes."