Justice League: The Garfield Cut Part Two Chapter 5, a Garfield + Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Crossover fanfic

Garfield League of America 2 Chapter Five – Belladonna of Sadness! Boss Dark Side Revealed!

After his successful heist of Garfields darkest secret Black Mask made his getaway back to his gang headquarters, which was in the refurbished Wayne Manor that he had brought and renamed Sionis Manor after the mysterious disappearance of Bruce Wayne around the same time Garfield had killed Batman to liberate the world from his tyranny.

Black Mask and his men all assembled in the main foyer, as his top team got to work on trying to crack the Vault containing Garfield's Darkest Secret.

"What do you suppose is in it Boss? I am just giddy at thinking what kind of a dark secret a legendary man like Garfield could have." Asked Black Mask Henchman with curiosity.

"I do not know but I am giddy like kid under Christmas tree just thining about it! And soon we will know and then the whole world! Garfield will never be able to show his imprudent orange face again!" Cackled Black Mask with utmost confidence that he held all the aces.

At that very moment Garfield was flying on his jetpack towards Sionis Manor at maximum speed, with his sidekicks The Birds of Prey and The Huntress behind him.

"This is the critical hour of judgment! Are you chicks ready for this?" Garfield shouted question over the sound of the howling wind as the target neared.

"We are with you hundred percent! Let us do this so you can than do us!" Answered Black Canary with eagerness.

"Last one in has to pay the windowman!" Said Garfield as he reached Sionis Manor and with big bang of an entrance smashed through the windows. Soon his ferocious female followed, and the Black Mask andh is gang looked up in horror surprise as they saw descending above them with a cascade of broken glass Garfield.

"Hello there!" Garfield greeted Black Mask as he landed on the Black Mask Henchman, squashing him to broken bones and squeezed out blood as he did. The Birds of Prey also landed, each dispatching a henchman of their choosing to mark their arrival.

The Huntress was nowhere to be seen.

"GARFIELD!" Black Mask said taken aback somewhat. But then he quickly regained his composure.

Garfield and his Brids of Prey got on one side while Black Mask and his surviving underlings on the other. IN between them was the Vault, which now had several pounds of C4 strapped to it.

"Ha ha ha Garfield you're too late! Your Darkest Secret is mine!" Black Mask revealed as he held a detonator in his hands.

"Black Mask I'm giving you one chance. Set that detonator down and let us hash this out man to man. Tamper with my stuff any further and you dare unleashing my ultimate wrath." Said Garfield with one last warning.

"Your ultimate wrath will soon be as menacing as a rubber ducky in bathtub! I wonder what you got to hide? Stole all your heroic deeds from Odie? Voted Republican? Into Thai cuisine a bit too much? LETS FIND OUT!" Said Black Mask with explosives as he pushed the button and blew the Vault door wide open.

"Damn you Black Mask!" Said Garfield with condemnation as smoke spread out of the open Vault. There were sounds like subject being woken up from permanent cryosleep as everyone watched on in pitched anticipation.

Then suddenly there was the sound of a motorcycle revving up and bursting out of the Vault came a gray biker man who looked somehwatl ike Garfield but was much smaller effeminate and pudgy to boot. He carried at his side a saxphone.

"Nermal." Said Garfield with spiteful recognition.

"Garfield-senpai, this is your darkest secret?" Cassandra Cain asked with disbelief.

"Yeah what is so dark about this?" Renee Montoya added with skepticism.

Black Mask was at a loss of words for this was not what he had expected at all and he had no expectations.

"I don't know, he's kinda cute." Harley Quinn admitted as she looked over Nermal. The word cute then caught Nermal's ears.

"That's cause I'm Nermal, former Worlds' Cutest Kitten and now Worlds' Manliest Man, sweetcheeks!" Proclaimed Nermal as some diegetic rockabilly music kicked in from nowhere. "Garfield could not handle that truth so he tried to freeze me until the end of time! But now I'm back in black and ready to rock!"

"All lies. You came to me and begged on your knees crying like a baby over melted popsicle to learn the True Man's Ways. I tried my best but you learned all wrong. You had to be frozen away for not just your own good but all mankinds. You were my first and only failure as a teacher." Said Garfield with refutations as he rolled his eyes at Nermals claims.

"That may be true Garfield but the True Man's Truth and the record that becomes legend is not determined by who speaks true but by who still stands! You and lasagna are no more than faded has-beens clinging to relevancy with played out Greatest Hits and today I with the POWER OF GOD MANICOTTI shall usher you off the stage and into the grave!" Nermal declared with megalomania as Garfield leapt at him with punching intents but with a quick toot of his saxphone Nermal conjured up sonic waves that blasted Garfield back.

With powerful percussion, powered by the hate in his mind, Nermal began heavy metal freejazz solo with saxphone to manifest more of manicotti's power to keep Garfield stunned.

"How's this for shock treatment?" Nermal laughed maliciously as he created dark magic vines to bind Garfield. The vines then coursed death electricity through Garfield, and only Garfield's natural physical prowess as the ultimate man kept him from perishing immediately.

Black Canary then leapt in between Nermal and Garfield.

"Keep your filthy wannabe beats away from my Big G!" Black Canary shouted with devotion as she unleashed her Canary Cry to counteract Nermal's metal manicotti music. With explosion, Nermal was then blown back but Black Canary ewas lef exerted and drained.

"I'm sorry Garfield this is all I can do." Black Canary mumbled with apolegtics before she passed out, her woman body too inadequate to keep up in this battle between men.

"Don't worry. I swear on your lady honor that Nermal has played his last concert." Garfield said to the sleeping Black Canary as he faced his gray nemesis and cracked his knuckles.

"Ha ha your female dogs have some bite, Garfield! But you make amateur's mistake in underestimating the power of my music!" Said Nermal with threat as Garfield got back to his feet seething with fury. Nermal then cleared his throat and threw Black Mask a card for readings.

"It says here that Nermal will now perform his hit single "Sweet Manicotti Bless My Soul" from his upcoming debut album." Black Mask said in dull monotone just going along with the flow since his own plot had escaped from him.

Nermal then went wild with discordant saxphone improv.

"Ugh what is happening to me? I feel much less manly than I was a second ago!" Black Mask asked as he looked at his hands in dismay.

"Just as I theorized. Nermal's misunderstanding of what makes a man has turned him into a Manliness Black Whole. He cannot become a Man on his Own so he sucks masculinity out of others!" Said Garfield as he saw Black Mask trembling like an allergic reaction while the rest of his henchman dried up like raisins and died. Only Garfields experience with such leeches and clinger-ons kept him immune, but for how long? Garfield saw that Nermal's stolen chi was intensifying with the seconds, and then Nermal burst into off-key singing as he pointed his wretched moochers hands at the terrified Harley Quinn Renee Montoya and Cassandra Cain.

"Oh why so glum its Saturday night

Cheer up cause I'm here to make you feel alright

Get ready for my loving its totally divine

Forget about Garfield cause now you're mine

SWEET MANICOTTI BLESS MY SOUL

YOU WILL LOVE MY ROCK AND ROLL"

Nermal then slowed his motorcycle to a stop in front of Renee Montoya and knelt before her.

"Oh Brown Sugar wanna hold me close?" Nermal flirted as he tossed Harley Quinn and Cassandra Cain aside like used toilet paper, but their eyes remained filled with hypnotized longing for him as they slowly crawled towards him.

"Don't mind if I do!" Renee Montoya purred to Garfields shock and she slowly and sensually embraced Nermal. But then without warning she sharply drove her knee up into Nermal's peanut jar.

"EEEEEEYAAAAAGH!" Nermal cried his voice cracking like the San Andreas fault during Earthquake season.

Renee Montoya then grabbed his saxphone and broke it over his head.

"Sorry chump but LESBIANISM IS IMMUNE TO YOUR CHARMS!" Laughed Renee Montoya with the Power of PRIDE as she did taekwondo axe kick that sent Nermal flying into the air right as the other Birds of Prey were breaking out of his spell all juiced up for some vengeance.

"SPINNING BIRD KICK!" Cried Cassandra Cain as she went for Nermals gut as he landed, tearing his belly open and making several insides spill out.

"Tryin ta play with my mind without my say so? DON'T CRY WHEN I RETURN THE FAVOR!" Harley Quinn giggled maniacally as she smashed Nermal in the head with her baseball bat fracturing his skull open. Harley Quinn then snickered like a naughty schoolgirl as she reached inside and pulled out parts of Nermals brain and messed with them like play-doh.

Black Canary then walked up to Nermal, putting her heeled boot on his bruised body to keep him pinned.

"Did you like my song earlier, Nermal? HERE'S AN ENCORE!" Black Canary then unleashed a point blank full force Canary Cry on Nermal tearing all the skin from his flesh and stripping flesh to bone on half his body.

The bloodied and beaten Nermal then managed to see through the eye that still worked that Garfield was towering above him.

"Wait Garfield I was once your friend! Can you not find it in your heart to forgive me for this momentary lapse of reason?" Nermal begged as Garfield looked over what remained of his mockery of anatomical form that was once a body.

"It's true I once thought of you as a son. That you could have been my legacy. And that when you fell the first time, I didn't have the heart to kill you. But you've proven that you're too dangerous to be left alive in any form. I'm all heart now." Garfield said with disappointments as he brandished Lasagna Sword Garfield in both his hands and pointed it at Nermal.

"NOOOOOO PLEASE DON'T." Bawled Nermal for mercy but in his heart he knew that it was all futile for he knew his fate had been sealed the moment Garfield's True Man's Will once again proved the superior.

"Hey Nermal let's watch your favorite movie Breathless!" Garfield quipped as he thrusted Lasagna Sword Garfield into Nermals throat and tore out his lungs.

As Nermals corpse twitched its last Garfield and the Birds of Prey turned their attention to Black Mask who had started this whole mess and was now the only survivor of his gang.

"Uh can I go if I saw I am really sorry?" Asked Black Mask hopefully.

"Like hell. You made me face the ghosts of my past. For wasting my time like this I am going to turn you into a ghost." Garfield approached Black Mask with menace with the Birds of Prey flanking him. Black Mask sighed as they did this.

"I'm afraid you leave with no other choice then, Garfield." Black Mask said with last stand as he suddenly revealed he had the powers of the Force! He then used Force Push to throw the Birds of Prey away knocking them all out on the walls and furniture.

Black Mask then reached into his pocket and pulled out a lightsaber and as he pressed the on button a shining blue laser ignited from it.

"I choose life. I'm deeply sorry I cannot let you kill me, Garfield." Said Black Mask as he wielded his lightsaber with cockiness.

"You think that silly childrens night light scares me? Have at me, rogue!" Said Garfield with bravado as he charged Black Mask with Lasagna Sword Garfield.

Meanwhile in the mansion, The Huntress came to. The wind had blown her off course in her rush to enter Sionis Manor and prove her worth to Garfield, and now she had no idea where Garfield was or where she was.

Cautiously, The Huntress gripped her crossbow tightly as she went exploring in the manor, which seemed endless in its halls and shadows.

"Where can I be? And have I passed this lamp already?" The Huntress asked insecurely as she felt like she was trapped moving in a loop.

"What an eerie dump. But yet I feel some kind of connection that is not uncanny. But how? This is the first time I have ever set foot in Wayne Manor." The Huntress realized with a chill.

"That you are using its original name of Wayne Manor rather its ghastly new moniker of Sionis Manor is the very first hint!" Said a British accented voice from behind The Huntress suddenly. Instintively The Huntress wheeled around and fired her crossbow only to be dumbfounded as her bolt traveled directly through her target.

The voice belonged to a floating old man wearing glasses in a black butler suit who looks like Jeremy Irons and was almost completely incorporeal.

"What manner of Satanic spawn are you?" The Huntress demanded to know.

"Mistress Helena, my name in life was Alfred Pennyworth! I faithfully served the Wayne Family for many generations until Garfield killed me and my master. But at long last you have arrived and I can serve once more even in death." Said Alfred as he revealed he was a ghost.

"I'm not your Mistress, spectre! And if Garfield killed you, I am sure you had coming." The Huntress swore to Alfred but even before the wrods had left her lips she was questioning if she believed them.

"Ah, chuckles. Even a child caught with his hands in the Cookie Jar has more conviction in his heart than you. Ah Master Bruce, those were the days…" Said Alfred with fond memories.

Alfred continued looking the nervous Huntress over.

"Your father, Mistress Helena, would truly be disappointed if he could see you now. Using firearms, even ones as primitive as the crossbow, a true no-no. And to praise Garfield, his arch-nemesis, too!" Alfred said with chiding as he wagged his ghost finger in front of The Huntresss face.

"My father loved his guns. He slept with them more than Mom. He'd love me using my little bow-bow." The Huntress said defensively.

"Ha ha ha Bertinelli the old spaghetti sucker the orphanage pawned you off to? He was really your father about as much as I am still alive!" Laughed Alfred with cruel casual dismissal of hardworking foster parents all across America.

"Orphanage? What the hell are you talking about?" The Huntress jabbered in confusion.

"Follow me and all truths shall be revealed." Said Alfred with ominous invitations as he floated down the hall and beckoned The Huntress to follow him.

The Huntress followed Alfred into a dusty old room where all furniturewas all covered in dusts except for a pristine grandfather clock against the wall. The Huntress felt her heartbeat increasing in pace the closer she got to the clock. She did not know if she should be walking this walk but she no longer felt in control of her own body. This was destiny, whatever that clock meant was inevitability.

"It's time to reclaim your birthright, Mistress Helena." Said Alfred as he used his poltergeist powers to move the hands on the clock into position.

And a secret door in the wall opened.

The Huntress descended down a secret staircase as Alfred guided her. And at the bottom was a spacious cave converted into a secret base for a high tech vigilante operative. There were computers and cases of gadgets everywhere along with gaudy attractions like a giant penny and robot dinosaur. And bats were flying everywhere.

"Bruce Wayne was The Batman?" The Huntress asked Alfred as she realized this was Batcave.

"Yes and more than that I must now tell you a terrible secret! Batman was also your real father!" Said Alfred with shoking revelation.

"WHAT BATMANS MY WHAT NOW." The Huntress said spitting out her metaphorical tea at this unexpected news.

At that moment all the monitors on the computers turned on and played several grainy VHS tapes. The Huntress stumbled backwards before collapsing dumbstruck as she saw Batman making love to Catwoman in sordid steamy ways in all these tapes.

"At last do you understand? The truth of your bloodline? Huntress, you are not Helena Bertinelli. You are Helena Wayne!" Alfred told the stunned Huntress.

"But if Batman was my father why did he abandon me to grow up in the mob?" The Huntress demanded as she got teary trying to process this all.

"To raise you himself would have interfered with The Mission. So Batman paid your mother the Catwoman a nice hefty fee to leave you at the orphanage and bugger off to Florida while he got on with his life. But your father grew paranoid for after all you were the daughter of both Gotham's Greatest Hero and its Greatest Thief. To grow up to heroism or villainy was but a flip of the coin in his mind. Batman dreaded that the day would come that he would be forced to arrest his own flesh and blood in his war on crime. When he found out years later that the Bertinelli Crime Family had adopted you from the Orphanage, he knew that he could not afford to let any misplaced fatherly sentiment compromise the Mission." Alfred said with massive exposition to The Huntress.

"What did he do? WHAT DID MY FATHER DO?" The Huntress shouted with need to know.

"I am not sure if I should go on. This story is not for kids." Alfred said with trepidation.

"Damn you Alfred! I must know! I need closure!" Said The Huntress in emotional outburst as she tried to grab for Alfred but since he was a ghost she passed through and tripped into one of the Robin suit cases.

"Very well. Your father knew that he could not kill you nor your adoptive family, but he also knew he did not have to save you. So he had loyal Master Jason put out the contract at the local Gotham Adventurer's Bar where Garfield frequented knowing that Garfield was the best of the best and that a reward of a billion gourmet lasagna was too good to pass up. Mistress Helena, your biological father was the one who hired Garfield to kill your adoptive father in the hopes you would also die in the crossfire. It worked out nicely though, wouldn't you agree? The deaths of the Bertinellis put you on the path to becoming a hero as your father would have wanted." Said Alfred as he revealed the full harsh truth.

The Huntress limped to the chair in front of the Batcomputer and slumped down in it. The Huntress watched the sex tapes of her parents going at it like rabid rabbits and tried to process everything that she had learned as her life shattered all around her.

"My father hired Garfield to kill my father and then later Garfield killed my father. I hate Garfield. I love Garfield. I love my father. I hate my father. It makes no sense. It makes perfect sense HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." The Huntress suddenly spiraled into chaotic laughter as her fragile mind gave itself willingly to mental nervous breakdown and she welcomed sanctuary insanity.

Meanwhile Garfield and Black Mask were furiously battling for the fate of Gotham City, with their blades locked.

"Garfield before I kill you I must reveal that my entire criminal empire was bankrolled by Boss Dark Side. I am his puppet but by killing you I shall prove that I am worthy of promotion to second in command!" Said Black Mask with evil goals. He then tried to shock Garfield back with Force Lightning to no effect.

"The only promotion you will get is the Circles of Hell." Garfield shrugged off the Force Lighting before pulling back and punching Black Mask in the face, breaking his mask into a million pieces and launching him onto the balcony above Garfield.

"Uh oh Garfield you just gave me the HIGH GROUND! Thanks to it I have the COUP DE GRACE!" Black Mask yelled with triumph as he jumped and swung his lightsaber straight at Garfields heart.

"High ground, low ground, my fists of justice will kill you just the same." Said Garfield as the lightsaber bounced harmlessly off of Garfields impenetrable steel skin. Garfield then grabbed Black Masks lightsaber blade and crumpled the laser up like aluminum foil.

"Oh I love a merry-go-round. How about you?" Joked Garfield as he spun the screaming Black Mask like a record.

"Please let me go Garfield! I choose surrender! I was out of my mind to ever think I could take on you!" Black Mask confessed with submission.

"You can't take me, but can you take gravity?" Said Garfield with finisher as he tossed Black Mask and while Black Mask was in mid-air Garfield threw Lasagna Sword Garfield for a round trip.

"No, I guess you can't." Garfield remarked as his sword sliced Black Mask in two. Garfield did stylish sheathing of his sword after he caught it, and Black Masks severed halfs splattered across the floor of Sionis Manor.

Garfield then walked over to Black Mask upper half which was still alive. Black Mask gasped for his last breaths like a fat jogger.

"Tell me everything you know about Boss Dark Side and I will make your suffering is brief." Garfield loaded his Desert Eagles up and put one under Black Masks chin.

"Alright, Garfield. First off Boss Dark Side is actually B" Black Mask began but before he could finish saying Boss Dark Sides real name a crossbow bolt lodged itself in his throat, killing him.

"Naughty naughty! Stitches get snitches!" Said The Huntress with bubbly tone as she skipped out of the shadows. The Huntress had changed from her superhero outfit into sexy Catholic school girl clothing, showing off her wavy raven black bob of hair and mascara that was now stained tears. She stopped halfway to Garfield, shrouded in shadows.

"Huntress what are you doing? I was going to kill him but only after he told me who Boss Dark Side is!" Said Garfield with frustrations.

"Who cares about Boss Dark Side? All that matter is you Garfield. For this world is you. You are the world. And I am Huntress, I hunt for peace. Peace that I shall only find in your love." The Huntress giggled as she smiled so sweetly at Garfield from the darkness it was disturbing.

"There's a time and place for love but this isn't it! Lady, what has gotten into you? " Said Garfield as he took a few cautionary steps back.

"You did Garfield. You killed my Daddy and I hate and love you for it. You're my devil and my messiah. My Alpha and My Omega. I hurt myself thinking about you. I tore my skin in your name and I felt so alive." The Huntress said like madwoman as she stepped out of the shadows with her arms outstretched for a hug. Garfield's eyes widened as he saw several wide, bleeding fresh cuts on The Huntress' arms and all her crossbow tips in in her quiver already bloodstained.

With unexpected strength, The Huntress tackled Garfield like a quarterback and pinned him down. She then began rubbing all over him seductively while trying to feed him from her bleeding cuts while Garfield struggled to get her off of him.

"My life for yours, for I am nothing but the echoes of your deeds. Without you I am nothing and if I cannot have you then lets die together and rest forever." The Huntress said with crazed devotion as she tried to pull Garfields clothes off of him with her legs while strangling him with her bare hands.

"You need a nice long rest in Arkham Asylum you wacko!" Garfield managed to kick Huntress off of him. She got to her feet and pointed her crossbow at him.

"Don't you want me, baby? Tell me you do, or you'll be saw-ree!" The Huntress begged to know in insane sing-song voice as she aimed her crossbow at Garfield. This time her aim was steady and true.

"Believe me when I say I don't. And you were never anything to me. This love affair is all in your sad mind." Said Garfield with sternness.

The Huntress just laughed as she fired her crossbow at Garfield. With sharp reflexes, Garfield snatched the bolt out of mid-air and threw it back at Huntress, impaling her right in her heart against the wall.

"Oooooh Garfield, I can feel your love inside me." Said The Huntress with dying delusions. She then ripped the bolt out of her heart and stabbed herself all over in the chest and belly screaming in pained pleasure with every stab until her eyes rolled back and she died.

"Damn. I've met some crazy broads in my time but this takes the cake. What a waste. What a shame." Said Garfield with melancholy as he lit up a lasagna cigarette, looking at her corpse and he bent over to close her eyes before he turned away.

The Birds of Prey then started waking up, after a flash of light.

"Garfield-senpai, is something wrong?" Asked Cassandra Cain with concern as she noticed Garfield standing off in the distance, gazing out the windows of ruined Wayne Manor as he smoked.

"No, Cass, it's just a Monday. And I hate Mondays." Said Garfield briskly, with a total calm poker face that gave nothing away. He finished his cigarette and flung it aside, starting a fire that would end Wayne Manor and its cursed history.

"C'mon, Birds of Prey, I think this is Mission Accomplished. Let's get something to eat." Said Garfield cheerfully as his female compatriots cheered. They walked away in formation with good laughs and gossip, not looking back to see that the Huntress' corpse was vanished into thin air.

In a space fortress high above the Earth undetected, The Huntress came to awash in rays of purple light.

"I should be dead. Yet I am alive. How is this possible?" The Huntress asked her thoughts out loud.

"Thank my Purple Ray. I stole schematics from the Amazons and have toiled to perfect it among my many other gadgets." Said a voice from behind Huntress that sent chills down her spine, for it was a voice of pure evil.

"I must give some credit to my test subject. An old acquaintance, perhaps you could say, friend of mine." The Huntress heard some blood dropping. She took a small peek, saw a bloodstained crowbar held in the hand of her resurrector.

"He once used this crowbar to kill a good trooper who was like a son to me. So I use it now to kill him. Ironic, don't you think?" The mystery man posited to the Huntress.

In the background was The Joker, all dead from crowbar and being doused in the same purple light as she was.

The Huntress looked up and saw an impossible man standing before her. A tall imposing figure draped head to toe in a black cowl and armor suit, with shining Bat Emblem emblazoned on his chest.

It was Batman!

"Father. You're alive! But Garfield killed you!" The Huntress said with stunned.

"So you at last know the truth, my wayward bastard. Yes, I was dead at that orange ragamuffin's hands. But when you're the Goddamn Batman, death is a revolving door. I was back faster than The Flash. And I have been biding my time, building my empire, as Boss Dark Side. But soon the world will know the truth. That Batman is Returned and Forever." Batman said very forebodingly.

"Will Garfield suffer? I poured my heart out to him and all he could think was to break it." The Huntress demanded with vengeful eyes.

"Oh yes. That's a fact, Jack." Batman promised like a top notch salesman. "Garfield will think that I'm the same old Bat, but little does he know that I've gone through a Rebirth of sorts."

Batman then took off his cowl and shirt to reveal that he was no longer the grizzled old veteran who had fought Superman at the Dawn of Justice and assembled the first Justice League. He was now far younger and full of life instead of scar tissue and depression, and he sparkled in the artificial sunlight of the space station.

"It was twilight for the Batman I once was. Now it is a new day, a new dawn. And like the simpleton parasite he is, Garfield will learn that he could never have defeated me!" Batman declared with evil laughter as lighting struck and the winds howled through every precipice and inch of Batman's Space Station. Stars and angels fell from the cosmos into hell and though they did not know it the hearts of all throughout the universes suddenly became adread with helplessness and fear for there had been a war in the heavens and Batman won. Not even Garfield could stop the cruel wheels of fate that had already been set in motion.

"Batman Is." Batman said of inevitability and absolutes as he strolled to the observation deck of his space station and watched the Milky Way, knowing that whatever empty outer space touched would soon be his.

To be continued…