Garfield League of America 2 Chapter Six – Black Adam Strikes!
Garfield was at the Justice League of America headquarters in his private office having Michael Mann movie marathon during his lunch break.
"Michael Mann is real filmmaker genius a general who has never made a wrong tactic and a mastermind without peer. Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino are but little baby amateurs filming their own bathroom breaks and calling it art by comparison." Said Garfield with truth as he enjoyed great filmmaking and top-notch narrative with excellent acting of Miami Vice while eating lasagna.
"Tryhard Anthony Hopkins and the loudly overrated Silence of the Lambs has nothing on Brian Cox in Manhunter." Superman added with some more facts as he sat ata nearby desk eating a all-american cheeseburger.
Garfields secretary Wonder Woman then walked in.
"Hello Garfield I am here to tell you the rest of Justice League of America is back for the meeting." Wonder Woman said with scheduling.
"Very well lets get the meat of the matter over with." Said Garfield as he got up and got out.
Garfield and Superman then went to the Hall of Justice Round Table where the Justice League of America gathered for their meetings.
Seated at the table was an attractive slender young man in black and blue skinsuit and a robotic tank of a cybernetic black man.. It was Nightwing and Cyborg!
"Before we get to some serious matters I would like to introduce some new members to our esteemable team. Please welcome Billy Batson and his bro Freddy Freeman." Said Garfield with introductions as the JLA's teleporter turned on and out walked Billy Batson and Freddy Freeman who hobbled after him on his cripple crutches.
"Um Garfield did you happen to call the wrong number off the resume?" Asked Nightwing with some confusion.
"My scans aren't picking up anything super about either of them. But theres something it can recognize… something… magic?" Cyborg wondered as he scanned the two youths with his cybernetics.
"Ha ha you two should not be such skeptics. I've had the pleasure of working with these two and trust me they got what it takes to play in the Big Leagues." Superman said with good word with a wink to Billy Batson and Freddy Freeman.
The two then cleared their throats and with the Magic Word of SHAZAM! turned into the Big Red Superhero Shazam and his trusty sidekick Blue Shazam.
"Alright that's more like it!" Nightwing clapped with all his doubts settled.
"And our regular Green Lantern Hal Jordan and our regular substitute Jon Stewart are both busy with First Lantern incident up in space they have sent a temp Green Lantern in to fill in for their duties." Garfield finished and then the teleporter started up again.
There was an explosion of rainbow smoke and out of the puffs stepped a Green Lantern man dressed in ridiculous looking jacket with bad haircut of ginger hair. He was carrying a boombox that was playing sissy music of Madonna's Get in the Groove, and strutting and headbopping dancing like a fool.
"Yo wazzup. I'm like Guy Gardner and I'm like totally the Greatest Space Warrior in the Like Whole Galaxy ever, you know?" Said Guy Gardner with extremely inflated introduction.
"Quiet down or your hair and face are next." Said Garfield with strictness as he pulled out his Desert Eagle and shot Guy Gardners boombox to pieces.
"Yes Garfield I will like totally shutting up now." Guy Gardner gulped and scurried into the Green Lanterns seat the table.
"On to business. Gentleman I have reason to believe that Boss Dark Side is planning something big. Something that will devastate our beloved America." Garfield said as he began meeting with graveness.
"Oh man let him try! With Shazam and I on the team the JLA can beat anyone!" Blue Shazam thought very bravely.
Garfield then opened up a holographic projector which projected holograms.
"This is Black Adam. I hear that he is a very tough manly fighter and ancient champion hero who also really hates Boss Dark Side. It would be in best interests to recruit him as ally for American Justice." Said Garfield with mission statement as he showed hologram of a muscular brown man in black suit who had lightning symbol on his chest a lot like Shazams.
"Black Adam hangs out in Kahndaq just a quick plane ride away. Lets hope hes willing to chat but come prepared to whack a fool or two." Superman said with locations and precuations.
Garfield and crew were about to charge to the Justice League of Americas air hangars to jet to Kahndaq when Wonder Woman interrupted him at the door.
"Garfield I know Black Adam is urgencies but I also have urgent matters." Wonder Woman told Garfield nervously.
"Anything for you my ruby rose." Said Garfield as he made flirtatious leaning pose next to Wonder Woman with one hand on the doorframe.
"Garfield I know that you do not approve of me doing fighting as a woman because you love me and do not wish me risking harm. But I love to fight and it is how I best show my love for the one I love." Wonder Woman said with love.
"Wonder Woman I have alrady lost you once. As the man who loves you I cannot ever risk that happening again. That is why I must keep you out of Justice League of America operation." Said Garfield regrettably with justifications.
"I know Garfield. That is perfect understandable. But that is why I have pursued secondary carrer to superheroics in music to show how much I love you!" Wonder Woman revealed out of the blue. "After months of small shows in small clubs my first big concert is today and I would be honored if you can grace it with your presence."
"I would love nothing more my Wonder. Even if the entire world was on my shoulders I would drop it for you." Garfield then turned to Superman. "Superman can you and the boys handle Black Adam on your own?"
"Count on it Bro." Superman and Garfield did their secret handshake before flashing each other thumbs ups.
Superman and rest of the Justice League of America then boarded a plane and flew to the middle eastern desert nation of Kahndaq until they arrived at Black Adam's house.
"Remember Garfield is counting on us. Be on your A Game" Superman said with reminders to the others.
"Don't worry Superman we won't let you or Garfield down!" Promised Blue Shazam confidently.
Superman knocked on Black Adams door. Black Adam opened it with very grouchy expression on his face as he ate a kebab.
"Hi Black Adam! I'm Superman speaking on behalf of the JLA. We hate Boss Dark Side you hate Boss Dark Side how about a team up?" Superman said very diplomatically as he offered his hand.
"No I will not Justice League sucks and I hate America." Black Adam crushed the kebab he was eating in his hand out of rage. "AND NOW YOU MADE ME WASTE MY KEBAB SO YOU MUST ALL DIE. THEN I WILL MAKE NEW KEBAB OUT OF YOUR REMAINS"
Black Adam threw a punch at Superman but Superman used his superspeed to dodge it. Superman was about to use a Kryptonian jujitsu toss and hold to subdue Black Adam but suddenly a Green Lantern giant hand construct popped up and shoved him aside.
"No need to exert yourself Supes! Cause Guys like got this with like Guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-Green Lantern Power! Like lemme at 'em!" Guy Gardner charged cockily in like a challenged moose with Power Ring Gauntlets at Black Adam.
"You'll be sooooooo like eating your kebabs through like a straw like totally when I'm like done with you!" Guy Gardner said as he did one-two punch cmobos on Black Adams chest totally unaware he was doing as much damage as a paper airplane against a battleship fleet.
"PAINTED UP IMBECILE. CAN YOU SMELL WHAT BLACK ADAM IS COOKING?" Black Adam caught Guy Gardners fist and threw him up into the sky before unleashing lighting on him.
"Oh no he's like cooking me! Soooooooo not wizard." Guy Gardner realized as Black Adam fried him with lighting, short circuiting his ring and knocking him out with nth degree burns.
"And now the seasoning for finishing touches!" Black Adam then did the People's Elbow on Guy Gardner caving in his ribcage.
"Nightwing I think you should take your break now." Superman suggested because Nightwing had no superpowers while everyone else did and Superman had no intents of throwing his good friend to the slaughter.
"Sure thing! It's Pizza Time!" Nightwing shouted as he ran away back into the plane.
"Um all this magic Shazam stuff makes my robot head go screwy! So good luck!" Cyborg waved good-bye as he sprinted after Nightwing in retreat.
Black Adam flew at Superman again but Shazam and Blue Shazam intercepted him midway.
"What is this? You insolent whelps also possess the Power of Shazam?" Black Adam asked with disbelief as he and Shazam recognized the lighting on each others chests.
"Yeah and we will send you to sleep with the fossils with it!" Shazam taunted Black Adam as he grabbed his face and unleashed lightning from his hands point blank while Blue Shazam incessantly pounded him in the back.
"NOVICES! YOU HAVE HAD MERE DAYS TO SQUANDER THIS GIFT WHILE I HAVE HAD LIFETIMES TO MASTER IT!" Black Adam said with skill as he shook off Shazams lighting like it was nothing and then absorbed it for more power.
"BLACK ADAM SUPERNOVA!" Black Adam said as he made a big electric explosion that knocked out Shazam and Blue Shazam and sent them flying into sensitive military zone.
Only Black Adam and Superman were left standing.
"I don't wish to hurt you Black Adam. What happened to Enemy of My Enemy Is My Friend?" Superman said with last chances as his fists got ready.
"You will just stab me in my back as soon as the coast is clear! Friendship is for the chumps and Superman is better dead than Black Adam sorry!" Black Adam flew towards Superman for a bisecting killcharge.
"Hey why are you not in two bloody pieces?" Said Black Adam with disbelief as he splatted to a halt against Superman who stood in place totally unaffected by his force.
"I dunno but you'll be so bloody they'll rename you RED DEAD ADAM!" Superman said with timely pop culture joke as he mildly flicked his finger against Black Adam and sent him flying.
"Owie zowie!" Black Adam cried as he thudded and bounced against the sands like a skipping stone.
"Ugh that was dirty sucker punch. Imma clean your clock for that!" Said Black Adam as he recovered and with MAXIMUM POWER delivered the strongest punch he had ever thrown clean into Superman's face. It was such powerful punch that a miniature nuclear explosion went off in Supermans face.
When the dust clouds cleared Supernan stood unaffected unimpressed without a single scratch or sweat.
"Huh? Was that a mild breeze?" Said Superman mockingly as Black Adam shook his hand in agany cause it was now broken.
"How are you so powerful Superman? You were not chosen to be Champion of Shazam like I was!" Whined Black Adam as he wailed on Superman futiley with his one free hand to know effect.
"Because I have the true superpower the one that no laser or lightning can defeat the superpower of FRIENDSHIP!" Laughed Superman as Black Adam puny fists bounced more harmlessly off him than ping pong balls.
"FRIENDSHIP? HOW! FRIENDSHIP IS FOR WEAK WEAKLINGS" Black Adam begged to know as he collapsed onto his nees for permanent breather.
"You think that a man is an island and that is where true strength comes from. But that ideal of manliness is a gilded lie and when the hurricanes of misfortunes come you'll be all washed out to seas of despair with no one to save you from the depths. But with friendship, a man becomes a continent that can weather any storm." Superman said with simple true wisdom as he turned his back on Black Adam for he knew that behind him was no champion worthy of any more of his time.
"FRIENDS JUST WANT TO STEAL MY TREASURE. ILL SHOW YOU THE FOLLY OF FRIENDSHIP SUPERMAN." Raged Black Adam as he lurched towards Superman one last time.
Superman sighed with regret for he knew that Black Adam left him no more optinos.
"I guess your skull is too thick to get my message across without breaking it. I cant do that so I have only one choice left." Superman said with no killing rule and then did spinning backhanded Black Adam making him reel like a loopy opossum.
"Black Adam your going on time-out. FOREVER." Superman said as he uppercutted Black Adam into space. Superman then pulled out his Super Comet Guitar and strummed Another One Bites The Dust by Queen from The Game Album to open a portal to the Phantom Zone with his Superman Music powers.
"CURSE YOU SUPERMAN! CURSE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDSHIP!" Black Adam wailed helplessly in space as Superman then transitioned into next song on album Need Your Loving Tonight to augment his heat vision all the way up to eleven. As he jammed on his guitar and sang the chorus Superman fired ultrapowered heat vision and blasted Black Adam straight into the Phantom Zone.
"In time perhaps you'll see that friendship is a blessing not a curse. And time is something you'll have plenty of in there." Superman waved au revoir to Black Adam as he skipped ahead to I Want To Break Free from The Works for ironic effect to finish off his improv performance and sealed the portal to the Phantom Zone.
However in this moment of triumph Superman was totally unaware of an evil resurgence in the same moment.
"Ah after six years Im free its time to conquer Earth!" Said a wicked female voice of a woman slipping out right as the portal closed. It was the evil Kryptonian Dominatrix Faora-Ul finally escaping the Phantom Zone where Garfield and Superman had imprisoned her during the Man of Steel Incident.
Faora-Ul then flew to a yet to be known location in search of both lust and vengeance upon the Man who had dealt her so much humiliation and suffering: Garfield.
With Black Adam taken care of Superman then walked back into the plane where Nightwing and Cyborg were having pizza time.
"Black Adam cannot be our friend But Im sure Garfield will take some comfort in knowing he cannot be our enemy either." Superman told Nightwing and Cyborg of the news.
"We knew you'd pull through Big Blue!" Cyborg applauded Superman.
"Here we saved you the last pizza!" Nightwing tossed Superman a piping hot extra large box of pizza topped with pepperoni sausage pesto jalapenos onions ricotta meatballs diced garlic and spicy sauce.
"Thanks guys. This jalapenos got a more satisfying crunch than Zods snapped neck!" Joked Superman as he folded the entire pizza up and took a big heros bite.
"Hey we heard over the comms that Black Adam had treasure. Wanna go see what he was willing to kill us over?" Cyborg suggested as he pulled up maps.
"Sure why not." Superman agreed and the trio walked to Black Adams house. But when they got inside the entire place had been looted and picked bare, with an empty dustless patch where a treasure chest could have fit present.
"Hmm judging by all evidence this happened recently while you and Black Adam were tussling!" Nightwing realized to Superman as he used his detective skills to analyze the room.
"But who could be skilled enough to infiltrate an active super war zone and get out without any of us knowing?" Superman asked and in his heart he already knew there was one who fit that profile and he dreaded that it could be true.
"I know who you're thinking of but it canont be! Garfield killed him!" Cyborg said deducing Supermans fears as Nightwing shivered at the thought.
"Yes but with so many of our classic enemies resurrectioned lately why not him as well? Still let us not dwell on what might be and let us celebrate what has been. Lets find our new Shazam Friends report back to Garfield and then get ice cream. It'll be my treat" Said Superman with mission well done as Nightwing and Cyborg cheered and the airplane then took off. Guy Gardner was left behind broken and weeping but he could probably UBER back to America.
If any of the Justice League had looked back at that moment maybe they could have seen the Batmobile suddenly uncloak and open up as Batman jumped inside.
"Such idiot morons! Had they been more inquisitive perhaps they could have stopped me! But now I control all cards and the whole bowl of chips. I am become Destiny." Batman chuckled as he landed in the Drivers Seat with Black Adams treasure chest sitting in his lap.
"Ooh what do you have there Daddy?" The Huntress asked Batman from the seat next to him.
"Huntress I so love it when you call me Daddy. It reminds me of your mother so enticingly. Now lets see what Black Adam was so peachy keen to protect from I, Batman." Batman said as he popped the chest open illuminating his face with the shining light from the contents within. The treasure is what the ancient wizard Shazam had entrusted to Black Adams protection long ago and what Batman in his guise of Boss Dark Side had tried to acquire for so long and had failed to until now.
"Excellent. Just what the Bat Doctor ordered." Smiled Batman as he took out an arrow with a golden head with polished silver tip. Batman turned over the arrow a few times admiring its craftsmanship before he made the unexpected sudden mood and plunged the arrow directly in his heart.
For a few silent moments it seemed as if the Batman had ended his evil schemes by his own hand as he slumped forward seemingly dead.
But then there was the sound of vortexes and energies swirling. Batman rose up and levitated and his eyes turned pure black for a moment as his body became a receptacle for pure power that harnessed the hidden potentials and inner desires of his very twisted soul.
"POWER! I NEED MORE POWER!" Said Batman with godforsaken wanting as his voice echoed and he laughed uncontrollably like the maniac Joker he once fought. Finally the explosion of chaos ceased as all mysteries of the mysterious arrow had been unlocked and concentrated within Batman. More devil than man Batman smiled sinisterly knowing what he had to do.
Batman pushed a big red button on the Batmobiles dashboard. As the Batmobile sprouted wings and started flying towards the cosmos Batman readied Phase One of spreading the darkness that he carried within his very soul to the all of existence.
To be continued…