Chapter Eighteen - Brutal

AN - Hey everyone, just wanted to say thanks for the follows, favourites and reviews, it's really encouraging and whilst I just write for fun, I also love knowing people are enjoying my story on top of that. Also thanks to M1LK T3A for letting me know I had been spelling Carlisle's name wrong at some points. I'm going to go back and fix that little mistake up. Also a quick disclaimer, I am not an architect so if anything I refer to when it comes to the occupation is wrong, please forgive me and just use your imagination :)

Disclaimer - I don't own anything Twilight-related, that all belongs to one Stephanie Meyer

Got a broken ego, broken heart

(It's brutal out here, it's brutal out here)

And God, I don't even know where to start

Brutal, Olivia Rodrigo

"Mother fuc- Ugh!" I lay on the floor, blankets wrapped around my legs, clutching my nose.

I let out a long groan, a burning made its way up my face, and I could feel the blood starting to trickle down my face.

I let my head fall back onto the floor and blew out a deep breath.

"Yep. This is the start of my day. Great."

My door burst open and my mother slid in, eyes darting around the room before landing on my form, laying flat on the ground. I smiled ruefully, teeth showing, though I immediately regretted it, blood flooding my mouth. I gagged, sitting up.

"What happened?" My mother hurried forward, kneeling before me. She took my head in her hands, and went into full nurse mode.

"Ow! I ran- Ow! Not too hard! I ran into the door."

Mom sat back slightly, an incredulous look aimed at me. "You what?"

"Listen! Okay, I was panicking, and half-asleep. I'm late to work, and I got wrapped up in my blankets and just like… fell into the door."

I saw my mom's lips begin to curl, trying hard not to laugh. "Stop giving me the stink eye, and stay still."

"I would stay still if you stopped hurting me!" I pouted.

"Well it isn't broken, but it's going to bruise, badly."

"Guess I'll just tell people I got into a fight or something. Make me look mysterious."

My mom helped me get cleaned up and with much effort, stop my nose bleeding.

She insisted I take the day off, maybe even come into work with her but I waved her off. The last thing I wanted first thing this morning was for Carlise to see me in this state, and face the embarrassment of having to tell him how I managed to gain my battle bruises.

She gave me an icepack on my way out the door, along with multiple pain killers, and told me to call her if I needed anything. Perks of having a nurse as a mother.

I wanted nothing more than to pull over and fall asleep in my car, but alas, work was calling.

"Hey Joe," I said as I walked in the door.

"Hey." He was in the middle of serving some customers and I took the moment in the office to prepare myself for the day ahead and pop a few painkillers.

Just got to get to lunchtime.

Joe, hearing my footsteps began to speak, "These animal attacks are getting a bit out of hand, don't you think? Another one today." He was reading a newspaper, the image of who I presumed was the victim plastered on the front.

"Honestly, I haven't heard much about it. Don't really read the news, tends to be depressing." I leaned on the opposite side of the counter, peeking down at the pages.

"You're not wrong there." He folded over the paper and finally looked up.

"Oh my God," He leaned toward me a hand raised toward my face, and I blinked in surprise. He must have clocked my reaction because he paused. Awkwardly, he closed his fist and brought his hand back down to his side. "What happened to you? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, my nose is throbbing, but I'll live, it's pretty embarrassing actually." I yawned loudly.

He grimaced, taking in the sight of the blooming bruise, "I'm guessing this is why you were late?"

I rolled my eyes, "Don't tell Marie."

His mouth lifted in a half-smile, and he walked around me and toward the freezer. "Well go on then, what did you do?"

I recalled the events of earlier, and unlike my mother, Joe made no attempt to hide his chuckling.

He came back toward me, a bag of frozen peas in hand. He gently raised the bag and plopped it atop my swollen nose. "You're a disaster."

I grinned, "I know, but you all wouldn't want it any other way."

"No. Definitely not." There was a comfortable silence as I enjoyed the coolness, then he continued, "You don't need to be here you know, I can cover for you. You look like you could sleep for a week." He was gentle and kind, his tone sincere.

I smiled genuinely, "Thanks Joe, but honestly, I think I needed to get out of the house and have something to distract me."

"Bad night?"

"Something like that…" I drawled.

At that moment the door opened, and we both looked to see who had just entered.

Shit.

"Esme! Haven't seen you in a while, how have you been?" Joe's hand started to lower as he addressed Esme, who was all bright-eyed and wide smiles.

I squeaked, my hand coming up to lay atop his, stopping the peas from revealing my face. Joe's stare turned back to me, and this time with was him that wore an expression of surprise. "Sorry… Um." His face was glowing red and I could feel mine beginning to do the same.

I looked back and forth between his shock and Esme's baffled and concerned look. "Ow?"

"Clara!" Esme glided forward, "What's wrong? Why do you have a bag of peas on your face?"

I cringed, knowing there wasn't any way I could delay the inevitable. I dropped my hand from Joe's and clearly, that was a mistake. Joe had loosened his grip from the bag and it immediately slipped down my face and onto the floor with a splat.

I could feel the trail of water the peas had left in its wake as it left my face, and now I was wet, bruised and embarrassed.

"Ow?"

This day just keeps getting better and better.

I could see that Esme was at a loss for words. Thankfully, Joe had some for her.

Looking up from the peas Joe announced, "She ran into a door."

"Oh! Um… How?" Esme had a kind but confused look as came forward.

"She's an idiot."

"You wanna end up with a matching bruise?" I snapped at Joe, watching him snigger as he slunk away.

I swiped the peas from the floor, "Don't worry Esme, it's worse than it looks."

"Are you sure Clara? It looks quite painful. I could ring Carlise?-"

"Oh God no! I mean thank you, but I don't want all the fuss, it's embarrassing enough as is. Don't worry, my mum is a nurse after all."

"I suppose that's true." She smiled.

It wasn't until Esme came to the till with a trolley full of groceries that I realised she had got a lot of my favourite foods and treats. The quick look she gave me confirmed my suspicion.

I knew I should probably feel bad at her spending money on me… But what's better than free things?

"So how is Clara doing? With all the architecture stuff? We all heard about it."

"Oh, wonderful. She's really been a big help. She is very talented as I'm sure you know."

Liar.

I don't know how she said it with such ease, I could feel my ears redden, and I bit the inside of my cheek as not to give anything away.

I cleared my throat, "It's only an on the side thing. Nothing to brag about."

After everything was bagged, I helped Esme gather up the shopping, and walked with her to her car. Once the last bag was in the trunk, she turned to me.

"Clara, how would you feel about actually helping me with my work?"

"Pardon?"

"Well I mean, you and I seem to have similar interests, and from what I've seen, you are actually talented. What do you say? You could help me with the designs and you can come and help me renovate some of the houses!"

"Well- I mean…" I laughed, "I don't know a thing about architecture!"

"I can show you! It just takes some practice." Her eyes ran over my face, "Only if you want to though. There's no pressure."

I thought about it, wringing my hands. I looked back toward my place of work.

This isn't what I want to do forever right? And I mean, I never thought about it, but maybe… Is this what I've been waiting for?

"How about this." Esme caught my attention again, "You don't have to quit everything and just commit to this. We could try it out temporarily, you can join me for a project when you're free and we can see how you feel?"

I smiled, "Do you know what? Let's do it."

"Yeah?" Esme smiled brightly, "Oh wonderful! I'm so excited! Come by later and we can discuss it!"

"Okay!"

I practically skipped back into the shop, for the first time in forever feeling genuinely excited about my own future. About having some sort of purpose.

"What are you grinning about?" Joe let across the counter, a look of amusement on his face.

"Just discussing a project, nosey."

"Don't tell me you'll be leaving us soon."

I tapped my nose, unsure of the answer, but enjoying teasing him.

"You're breaking my heart, Clara."

"Gosh, you're so dramatic! I'm not leaving Forks."

"Well, that's good. I don't know what I'd do."

"I'm sure Addy would get you through such a time."

He smiled in response, but then pursed his mouth, thinking.

He moved around the counter toward me, "Actually there was something I was looking to ask you."

I raised an eyebrow, "Is this about that thing yesterday? That you and Addy were being weird about?"

He breathed out a laugh, "Uh… yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"What's up?" I asked, noticing his form becoming much more awkward, which in turn made me awkward.

"I was hoping for a bit of a nicer setting, with no bruised faces, but fuck it… Do you wanna go on a date?"

My blinked a few times, "A date?"

"Yeah… With me?" I could see him biting the inside of his cheek, "Only if you want, oh god I've made things weird havent I?-"

"No! I mean, I wasn't expecting it, but uh…"

My brain felt like it was going to short-circuit, and the throbbing on my face seemed to be increasing as the blood rushed to my face.

"Well.. Could I maybe think about it?"

"Oh yeah, yeah. Of course. No pressure." He smiled, but I could see the embarrassment he was feeling, a feeling that was swirling in my own gut.

The rest of the shift passed by awkwardly, the two of us almost being too nice and polite to the other.

Did I think of Joe that way? I wasn't sure. He was handsome sure, but the thought hadn't really crossed my mind that our friendship would take a different turn. I was quite flattered really. I couldn't remember the last time I went on a date, let alone was asked on one. But was it a good idea? Would it ruin things if it went wrong? We have the same friends, would that make it weird?

Ugh…

I was relieved to leave that afternoon, the air suffocating and confusing, a massive headache coming on. The cool air and light rain were somewhat soothing. The drive home felt too long, and I wanted nothing more than to fall into my bed.

Which is exactly what I did. I hid under blankets, curtains closed, the rain pitter-pattering on the window, lulling in and out of sleep.

"Clara!" A whisper by my ear, and I couldn't tell if it was a dream or reality.

I mumbled, swiping a hand as though I was shooing away a fly.

"Maybe she's been knocked out? Look at that shiner!"

"Maybe she fought a bear. You could give her some tips Em."

"Shut up you two!"

"If this is a robbery could you do it a little quieter?" I grumbled, not opening my eyes.

Poke.

Poke, Poke, Poke. The cold, consistent finger continued to tap my cheek, until finally I made an aggravated noise, and opened one of my eyes.

I glared at the three figures, not even phased at their presence any longer. Alice was bent over me grinning, her finger lingering my cheek. Emmett and Jasper stood at the end of my bed, laughing quietly.

Alice gave my cheek one last poke, "Hey you! I saw what happened, wanted to check you were okay since we had to come this way anyway."

Jasper tapped his chin, "think you have some drool."

I made a lazy rude hand gesture at him, which only made him smirk.

"I can't believe running into a door did that to your face, you look horrific!" Emmett explained, analysing the aftermath of my embarrassing morning.

"You wanna end up the same?" I threatened, unamused, and still half asleep. Of course, this just made Emmett let out a booming laugh.

"Thanks for coming. Bye now." I turned my head face-first into the pillow. "Ow."

"Oh come on! You're going to talk to Esme later! And Carlisle will have something that will help with the swelling!"

I groaned into my pillow. I forgot I had told Esme I would see her later.

"Fine." I pushed myself up and out of bed, pulling my shoes on quickly.

"Oh, you coming like that?" Jasper quipped, "Might want to brush your hair or something."

Emmett and Jasper bumped shoulders, and I could immediately tell they were going to start teasing me. A quick look in the mirror I could see what they meant. My hair was like a bird's nest, and I looked like a zombie. My creased, baggy clothes didn't help.

I reached for the hairbrush, but not to use it as intended. Instead, I threw it at the two boys, which they of course dodged with ease, almost giggling like school girls.

I sure do throw a lot of things around this lot.

"I hate you both." Alice linked arms with me as we left the room.

"No, you don't" They called after us, following quickly down the stairs.

"Ugh, shit. Forgot my keys. Jasper would you…?"

He raised an eyebrow, "What am I, a dog?"

"Go on and fetch! Good boy."

He scowled at me, and my laughing was cut off by Alice's amused tone "You don't need them. You're coming with us! Edward's driving!"

"Eh? What do you- EMMETT! PUT ME DOWN."

My legs swung as Emmett threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"You're taking too long." He said.

I saw Alice locking my front door, and skipping off past Emmett and me, alongside Jasper. I looked over my shoulder, and my brows furrowed. Why was Edward parked in front of Bella's house?

"What are you all doing here anyway?"

The back door of the car opened and I heard Rosalie hiss, "Emmett what are you doing."

"Calm down Rose."

I shrieked as I was dumped into the back seat. I think both Rosalie and I had the same look of annoyance aimed at Emmett as he grinned and disappeared from view. Grumbling, I push myself upright just in time to see Jasper climb in beside me.

Right. Well, this is an interesting situation. Trapped between these two… Not quite sure how to feel.

On one side, I could feel Rose's cold impatiens, and on the other, I was actively attempting to ignore the close proximity to him.

I heard Edward snort with laughter. Everyone heard his laugh.

Thankfully he saved me the embarrassment of revealing my thoughts and drove off rather quickly after Alice hopped in the passenger seat.

"What about Em?" I asked, desperate for a distraction.

"He's going to run back," Alice said.

"We thought it would be a better idea that he ran, than you." Jasper drawled.

I rolled my eyes, "Very kind."

I could feel eyes on the side of my face, and I slowly turned my head to look at Rose. She was not even pretending she wasn't staring. Her nose was wrinkled in disgust.

"You look hideous."

"Yes, I'm aware, thanks."

"And you ran into a door?" Rosalie mused, "Explains a lot."

"Right, I think it would be better for my ego if you kept those thoughts to yourself, thank you."

I leaned back against the headrest, eyes closed. I think all of the excitement and movement was hitting me because my nose felt like it was going to explode, a headache growing quickly.

Why did I get out of bed again?

And then… relief.

At the same moment, a calming, comforting feeling flowed through my body and something cool and gentle lay directly over my throbbing face.

My eyes flew open, and I went slightly cross-eyed looking down at the hand on my nose.

Now I'm definitely blushing.

I peaked at Jasper out of the corner of my eye, too flustered to move.

"You looked like you could do with an ice pack. Luckily, you are surrounded by walking and talking ones." Jasper's smile was kind, perhaps even a bit awkward, like he himself wasn't quite sure why he had just done what he did. "Just don't sneeze on my hand, or I will throw you out the window."

I just nodded rather dumbly, still staring.

Stop Staring!

I turned back ignoring the others.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Rose was horrified.

I wasn't quite sure what she was thinking, but I didn't really feel like asking. I also pretended not to notice the look Edward and Alice shared.

At that moment, I didn't care.

Quietly, selfishly, I let myself just enjoy that tiny bit of attention. The kind gesture from a handsome man, not only helped my injury but calmed my mind.

"Thank you." It was barely a whisper, but the way his lips lifted in a half-smile told me he had heard it.

—-

"Okay," Esme flattened out a blueprint, one of many which decorated her study. We sat next to each other, hunched over what she had currently been working on.

Once we had arrived at the Cullen's everyone had ventured off to do their own activities. I was thoroughly amused by Jasper and Emmett's 8 boarded chess game, which had rules that went right over my head. Far too complicated.) Edward refused to give me any more detail as to why he had left Bella home, only smirking at my frustration and walking away. Esme was waiting for me in the living room and brought me straight up to her office.

Carlisle had helped ease my pain as much as possible, managing to get the swelling down considerably. God bless that man.

"Esme, I'm not sure I'm going to be good at all this blueprint stuff… Seems a bit out of my league." I bit my lip, feeling very out of my depth and a bit disheartened as the reality of what I had actually agreed to hit me.

Esme, never deterred, continued, "Oh don't be silly, like I said, all it takes is a bit of practice. Besides I thought you would be good at a different job." She reached over for a thick folder, placing it in front of me.

Curiously, I flicked it open. Aha! Now, this is more my speed.

I sifted through the different images of concept art, buildings and architecture, particular rooms with certain themes, colours meticulously placed in just the right spots.

I think I've found my new favourite kind of art.

I stared at the different sketches for a few minutes, and it wasn't until I realised that Esme had been watching me the whole time that, slightly embarrassed, I came back to reality, a sheepish grin on my face.

"They're uh… kind of amazing. You're so talented."

Her smile was dazzling, "That means so much. Thank you, Clara." She looked down at her drawings, one finger reaching out to tap them. "So what do you think? If we work together, I think we could come up with some amazing things."

I was taken aback, "You would be okay with me doing the concept art?"

"I know you can do it."

"I'm not sure…"

She placed a hand over mine, "Listen, I'll be here to help you the whole time. I'll give you an idea of what a client wants, and then we can see what you come up with, okay?"

I smiled.

And so we sat for the next while, talking over Esme's current projects and finding which would be the best for me to start with. I geeked out over the expensive high-quality pencils Esme gifted me with, and we lulled into a comfortable atmosphere, the only noise that could be heard was the scratching of pencil on paper.

It took me a moment to realise Esme had paused in her movement, and it was then that I realised I could hear the piano playing.

Esme was smiling warmly, her eyes closing as she let herself become surrounded by the noises coming from below.

Edward.

Esme opened her eyes again and tilted her head to me as she rose from her seat, indicating I should follow as she made her way to the stairs silently. After a moment's hesitation, I got up and leaned comfortably opposite Esme as she sat on the top step.

It was surprisingly calming listening to Edward compose a piece of music straight from his head. I wish I was that impressive. It was heartwarming to see just how much of a mother Esme was. She was devoted to her children, despite them coming together under strange circumstances.

Made me appreciate having two mother figures in my life, both of whom are perhaps the best people I know.

The music came to an abrupt halt. One moment Esme was here, the next she was gone, leaving on a small breeze that blew my hair in her wake.

Had something happened?

I hopped down the stairs as quickly as possible, for once cursing the slowness of my humanity. As I skidded to a halt, everyone came into view. Rosalie looked furious. Edward looked as though he was trying not to laugh.

"Don't stop Edward," Esme said, encouraging him to continue. Edward made eye contact with me as he turned his back to Rose. I swore he was smothering a grin.

Which, as it was so out of character for Edward, made me smile in bewildered amusement.

Which was NOT the correct thing to do.

"Why are you laughing?" Rosalie demanded, in front of me before I could react.

"Who? Me?" I laughed nervously, "I'm not laughing- Oh well, I am now. But only because you look like you're going to rip my head off at any given moment, and I think I might wet myself out of fear." I just. Kept. rambling.

Someone kill me. Or rather, don't kill me.

There was a quick movement, and I clenched my eyes shut, awaiting the end. But nothing happened. I peaked to see what was happening.

Then my eyes widened. And I wasn't the only one. I don't think I ever saw Rose so shocked, so taken aback, as she did when Jasper stood between her and me.

I could feel everyone's eyes on us, and I wanted to sink into the ground. W

What is going on?

"Back off." It came out as a… growl? I was a bit unnerved by this sudden shift.

Rose spluttered, "What- what are you doing, I wasn't going to hurt her!" Now she just looked offended and angry, and the tension in the room was growing and growing.

Emmett appeared by Rosalie's side, one hand out toward Jasper as a peaceful gesture, "Hey chill out."

"Jas." Alice said softly, "Calm down, no one's going to hurt anyone."

It seemed as though that brought him back from whatever part of his head he was trapped in for a few moments. He looked around at us all, our cautious gazes must have been suffocating.

He finally looked me in the eye, and I could see the confusion and regret that was there. It seemed that just like the rest of us, he wasn't quite sure what had just come over him.

I gave what I hoped was a reassuring, albeit weak, smile, "Hey, I'm all good. Don't worry."

He did not return the smile. His expression was blank now, and he moved quickly away. He returned to his spot by the chess boards, though he stared out of the window unblinking.

There were a lot of looks being shared around the group that I didn't understand. It seemed as though they all knew something I didn't.

"Seriously!" Rose spat. She was not happy. "Is this what we're going to have to live with? Between the two of them!"

And now Edward was growling.

I felt my headache coming back.

"Rose, please. Not now" Esme looked so sad, the expression seemed to soften Rose slightly. That and Emmett's PDA as he attempted to make his lover laugh.

I excused myself to the kitchen, and I gulped down a glass of cold water and made a nice warm cup of tea to try and relax the tension that ran rife throughout my body.

Why did Jasper react like that? He was usually so calm and calculated. But the fierce energy had radiated from him and everyone felt it. Like an animal so overcome with instinct, it couldn't stop.

I didn't think he cared much about me at all, never mind enough to argue (fight?) with one of his family members over, well, nothing really.

I mean sure, he had been much nicer, and rather sweet recently… But still.

I massaged my temples, and then took a sip of tea.

Know what? I'm just not going to think about it right now.

When in doubt, just run from your problems.

My phone buzzed, and for all of ten seconds, I welcomed the distraction.

Until I read the text Addy had sent me.

"SO JOE ASKED YOU?! WHAT DID YOU SAY. TELL US EVERYTHING."

Shit.

I totally forgot about that.

Oh God, what am I going to do?

"WHAT!" Alice's screech made me jump, and I once again hurried into the living room.

"What, what what?" I asked, tea spilling onto the floor.

"What now," Rosalie growled from her place curled up next to Emmett, patience thin.

"Alice?" Jasper stood, though didn't move from his spot.

But Alice wasn't looking at any of them, she was looking at me rather crossly.

"You're going on a DATE?"

"Oh christ," I massaged my forehead, the embarrassment making an appearance once again by my reddening cheeks. "Thanks for that Alice."

"Oh." Esme was smiling, though there was a conflict in her gaze, as her eyes flitted quickly around at the others. "You never mentioned Clara."

"Yeah, I guess I didn't think-

"You can't go on a date!" Alice protested.

I furrowed my brows at her, then laughed, "Well, why not?"

"Well- Because… Ugh!" She looked so cross, but her tiny frame made it quite comical. Like a child stomping her foot.

"I mean, I haven't even decided whether to go or not…"

"Why?" Jasper's tone was flat, but I wasn't expecting it. When my eyes flew to him, his intense gaze made my blush deepen, and I awkwardly twiddled my thumbs.

"Well, I dunno, just never got around to thinking about it-"

"I think you should go."

Silence met Rose's words as we all looked at her. Though the only person she was looking at was Jasper, with almost a… satisfaction?

"Eh?" I sounded dumb, but I couldn't quite believe Rose was getting involved in my love life.

She looked to me now. "Yeah. I think it would be good. You said your last boyfriend was trash, out with the old and in with the new right? I'll even help you get ready.

"What?" Alice and I both said it at the same time, and Rose's smile was so genuine it was scary.

"Oh… well." I looked around the room, but no one else said anything. Alice was pouting, Emmett looked like he might laugh, Edward looked as though he had a headache, and poor Esme was looking between them all with concern.

But Jasper… he stood stone-still, eyes never leaving mine, but not giving anything away either. I looked away quickly and back to Rose's expectant look.

I pursed my lips thinking. I mean, what's the worst that could happen really, it could be fun and Joe is nice and funny, and it's not like there were many people lining up in the tiny town of Forks to go on dates.

I smiled, "Yeah okay. If you're willing to help ready then… why not?"

Rosalie smiled victoriously, and Alice let out a noise of protest.

"Brilliant," Edward muttered, leaving to return to his piano.

I peaked back at Jasper again, he was still watching me, and then in one swift movement, he turned and left the room.

But for a moment, he could not maintain his emotions. Just for a moment, we all felt how he had. It was baffling, impossible, and deep down was… pleasing… to know.

Jealousy.