"This is complete horse shit."
"Settle down, Rizzoli."
"Oh, bite me, Sean," Jane growled at her superior officer. He gave her a stern look behind his desk, and she faltered slightly. Sometimes the lines became blurred between work and home, especially since Sean had all but moved himself in with Angela. "Sorry, Lieutenant."
"Listen, I know you're upset. I'm upset too. I know what this means to you," he said. "But you can't be surprised."
"Really?"
"You think they're going to let you go into this half-cocked to implicate one of the richest men in Boston?"
"I don't care how rich he is."
"It doesn't matter. The judge says there's not enough for a search warrant."
Jane stopped her frantic pacing and squeezed her hands together. She'd been overly optimistic when she submitted the affidavit a week ago. While she could see the connections, a judge needed more. She couldn't simply stomp onto someone's property in hopes of finding something implicating. Terrence Parker's death was ruled a straight-forward suicide and whatever relationship he had with Don Everett, didn't mean she could start turning over every place they'd ever spent time together.
"I'll find more evidence. I'll build a stronger case for the search warrant."
"I don't know how much more you can do, Jane."
"So you think I should give up?"
"I think you're going to have to find another connection. We can't confirm that Terrence had anything to do with Olivia."
"Then why was her blood on that photo of Maura? Why did Richard Keller kidnap my wife? Why did the man paying him off kill himself before we could ask him anything! It doesn't make sense," Jane growled.
"Maybe Terrence Parker was as far as it went," Sean muttered.
Jane ran a hand through her hair and sighed.
"All this for one little girl," she whispered.
Sean's eyes brightened. "Maybe it's not just one little girl, Jane."
The sergeant detective looked back at him with equal enthusiasm. She nodded eagerly, licking her lips as her mind started working.
"You're right," Jane said. "That's the next step. I need to start looking at the other cases of missing girls. Others that have been trafficked. You're a genius."
"You forget I've been doing this a lot longer than you kid," Sean smirked.
Before Jane could say anything else a light knock echoed on the door. Jane turned around to see Maura, looking unhappy as she entered.
"Sorry to interrupt," the doctor said.
"You're fine Maura," Sean assured.
"Jane, you were supposed to meet me downstairs ten minutes ago," Maura said. "We're going to be late."
The sergeant detective grimaced, suddenly reminded of the appointment Maura had been telling her about all week. She didn't want to admit she'd forgotten, but she knew her guilty face gave it away before she could utter a word to her wife. They said goodbye to Sean and Jane offered a meek apology in the elevator.
"I'm sorry, I got caught up on the case," she said.
Maura didn't say a word on their walk to the car. Jane drove in silence, nervously grinding her teeth together. The doctor stared out the window, watching as rain fell on the bleary February afternoon.
"You going to talk to me?" Jane finally asked. "I'm sorry, okay, Maur? I'm really sorry."
"Do you even want to do this, Jane?" Maura asked. "I need to know right now."
"Of course, I want to do this," Jane said.
"I've told you about this appointment all week. I reminded you three times this morning."
"I got the ruling from the judge today on my affidavit for the Denton case and I got sidetracked," the detective explained.
"There's always going to be a case," Maura muttered.
Jane furrowed her brow. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"This is the first step toward becoming parents. The first of many, many steps, and I don't want to worry about doing it alone because you have a case."
"You're not going to be doing any of this alone! I forgot, okay!" Jane shouted.
"And what happens when we do have a child? Are you going to be present enough to walk away from the station on time?"
"Of course, I am, you're being ridiculous," the detective growled.
"Don't call me ridiculous!" Maura yelled.
The car fell into tense silence. The two of them rarely fought and the front seat felt heavy with emotion. Jane pulled in a slow breath, the sound of the windshield wipers working furiously against the rain was the only sound between them. When Jane parked the car outside of the fertility clinic and turned to face her wife, she hated to see the sadness she'd put there. Angry tears shined on Maura's eyes, but she refused to let them fall, her arms tight across her chest.
"I'm really sorry," Jane started. "I'm excited to start a family with you and I'm never going to leave you alone. I'm going to always be there. Always, Maura. I made that promise and I'll always keep it."
Maura still refused to look at her, staring out the window as more rain pelted the car.
"The truth is, I want to close this case because I want to protect you. It holds so many feelings for me. I want this closed before I bring a child into the world. So, I've been working a little obsessively I suppose," Jane confessed.
"It holds a lot of emotion for me too, Jane. But I don't need you to protect me or close the case to do that. I need a partner who's fully committed to this journey," Maura said. "Because there's no turning back."
"I'm committed, Maura. I'm with you," Jane assured. She squeezed onto her wife's hand, still searching her face for signs of something deeper. "Is that all that's bothering you?"
Maura sighed. "I guess, thinking about having a baby makes me think of my own childhood. About how I want things to be different for our children."
"They will be."
"I worry sometimes that our kids will be left like I was. That we'll be so caught up with our work, with our cases, that we won't be around. I promised myself I would never do that to a child," Maura replied.
"We're not going to be like that, Maura," Jane said.
The doctor nodded and steadied herself.
"I hate fighting with you," Maura confessed.
"I hate it too. I'm sorry," Jane apologized. She unbuckled her seatbelt and reached across the console to grab Maura into her arms, rubbing her back in comforting circles. The doctor relaxed in Jane's hold.
"If I'm this emotional now, I don't know how you're going to deal with me when I'm pregnant," Maura chuckled.
"It'll be worth it," Jane winked. She kissed the side of her wife's head. "Let's go make a baby."
…29 years later…
"What was she like?"
AJ Rizzoli had driven her unmarked patrol car in stoic silence since getting out of Boston city limits. She'd been so quiet that she almost forgot Emma McCall sat in the passenger seat until her scrappy Boston accent broke her concentration.
"What was who like?" AJ asked.
"Your mom," Emma said. "Lieutenant Rizzoli, I mean."
They had at least another hour of driving ahead of them and AJ had promised herself she'd do her best to share more about her life. Grabbing beers together the night after the shootout had been a start. She mostly told Emma about her brothers and her past career with NYPD. She learned Emma's parents had divorced when she was young, and she was raised primarily by her father. She also learned the redhead had been married to her high school sweetheart for a year before it ended in divorce. But in all their sharing, AJ hadn't thought to talk about Jane.
"She was kind of what you would expect," AJ started. "She was tough and full of energy. She was around a lot when we were kids. More than you would think a detective could be. She never missed a game or a school play or James' stupid science fairs. She coached little league and took us camping, fishing, family BBQs. We had season tickets to the Red Sox…"
AJ trailed off, so many memories hitting her at once. She could still hear her mother's hearty laugh and feel her strong but tender hugs.
"My other mom, she's all warmth. She was the one that carried me and my brother Owen. She coddled us and loved us so fiercely. But ma, she was the protector, you know? I always thought she was indestructible."
"I'm sorry," Emma frowned.
"No, it's okay. Believe it or not, she's the one who didn't want any of us to become cops," AJ shared. "My parents shielded us a lot from their cases, until this one of course."
"I'm sure she'd be proud of you," Emma nodded.
"Thanks," AJ blushed.
"You look a lot like her," Emma said.
"Well, she's my biological mom," AJ smirked. "Sometimes I worry I might be too like her."
"I don't know, but it makes you a good cop," Emma shrugged. "I mean, during that shootout, I took off like a fool. You knew exactly where to go and what to do. I know I can be a little hot-headed. You're more methodical than me. More patient."
AJ laughed. "Well, I think that makes you more like Jane Rizzoli than me. I think I get calm methodical thinking from my other mom," she said. "I suppose I also try to be a little cautious. My family already had to lose my ma. I know it's hard enough I became a cop. I can't put them through losing me too."
Emma stared at her closely, her blue eyes changing with a reflection of admiration and new understanding. AJ swallowed hard, feeling the woman's gaze on her. She tried to ignore her fluttering heart and cleared her throat.
"What about you? Want to tell me all your childhood horror stories?" AJ asked.
"Oh, where do I even begin?" Emma laughed before launching into a story.
An hour later they were outside of Gardner, Massachusetts, a small township surrounded by acres of public lands and parks. The Everett family still owned a hunting cabin in the area but had sold off almost all the private acreage that came with it. When AJ called to get more details about the sale, public lands management said the Everett family sold it because it was too much to care for. The new generation wasn't exactly fond of hunting.
"That's not much of a cabin," Emma said as they passed the Everett home.
It was a massive, three-story mansion, tucked away in the woods. A shiny boat, two SUVs, and a gate blocked the driveway. The only thing that made it look like a cabin was that it was tucked away in the woods and made of logs.
"This is the one they still own," AJ told her. "But there's supposed to be another, smaller cabin on the property they sold. Satellite imaging shows it's still there."
"You'd think public lands management would tear it down," Emma said.
"I called and they said they're using it for storage. It's a long-shot but they're going to let us check it out."
A park ranger met them at the edge of the forest land. He immediately handed them orange vests.
"Do we really have to wear these?" Emma glowered.
"It's hunting season, detectives. You don't want anyone to make a mistake," the park ranger advised.
Emma and AJ exchanged suspicious looks but proceeded to put on the orange vests and climb onto his small John Deere. The park ranger chatted about the grounds and wildlife on the way down the bumpy dirt path. AJ zoned out, hanging to make sure she wasn't tossed from the jerking vehicle. She tried her best to keep her focus on the task at hand, but her thoughts drifted to her mother. She wasn't sure if it was talking about Jane in the car or the fact that she was pursuing the lead that once alluded her mother, but suddenly she couldn't stop seeing her face. It put a lump in her throat, but she pushed it down.
"AJ? AJ come on," Emma snapped.
They'd arrived outside the tattered cabin in the middle of the woods. AJ looks around. The long grass and trees stretched for miles. It was peaceful but also eerie. They were so far from civilization that you couldn't hear cars, the town, or anyone else. AJ wondered if one screamed, if anyone would even hear them.
"Looks more like a shack than a cabin," Emma observed.
She wasn't wrong. Perhaps AJ had overestimated the "cabin" aspect of the lead. The park ranger removed the lock on the rusting door.
"You didn't make any upgrades to this since the sale?"
"No. Honestly, public lands management doesn't have the funds for that. This was a lucky break for us that it has a roof and four walls," the park ranger answered. He pulled open the door. "We mostly just store equipment here."
AJ and Emma went inside first, pulling on rubber gloves. The wood floorboards moaned with each step they took. Dust and dirt covered almost every surface. Three driving lawnmowers were squeezed inside to the space, bags of soil and fertilizer piled high in one corner, tools hung on one of the walls. Emma instantly started pulling open cabinets while AJ scanned her flashlight over the tight space. It was about the size of a dorm. Small but still useable.
"No windows," AJ observed. She turned around, aiming the flashlight at the back of the door. Four different deadbolts were mounted on it. She looked again to the park ranger. "These locks were always here?"
He nodded.
"Can you give us a minute?" Emma asked him.
He gave a grim look before walking out. AJ sighed as she did her best to kick aside equipment, already frustrated by the unpromising situation. That was until she spotted lines carved near the bottom of one wall, as if someone were keeping track of time. She squinted and squatted closer when she saw a thick hook ring coming out of the same corner of the wall. It looked made for someone to connect a chain to it.
"Check this out," AJ said. Emma ignored her and the cabin filled with a loud noise, making AJ jump. "What are you doing?"
Emma was using a crowbar to break open one of the floorboards.
"Hurry up, before that boy scout comes back," she grunted.
AJ hurried over with the flashlight while Emma yanked back another wooden board. The beam of the flashlight caught a strange sparkle in the dark. Emma reached down with her gloved hand and pulled out chains with cuffs attached to the end.
"Holy shit," Emma muttered.
"I think they were chaining someone up over there," AJ said, gesturing to the corner where she'd found the hook ring and carvings.
Emma pulled back another floorboard, this time finding a rolled up, soggy towel underneath. She scrunched her nose as she slowly unfurled the bundle. A plastic baggy dropped out and she eagerly opened it up.
"What is it?" AJ asked, squatting down next to her.
Their heads came close together as Emma pulled out a stack of worn and faded photographs. The images made AJ's stomach sink. The photos were of young girls, many of them naked. In some you could see their faces but their eyes and features were blacked out with marker. Others photos were just of bare torsos, legs, and breasts. There were at least thirty photographs.
"I think this was the break your mom was looking for," Emma whispered.
"Me too," AJ swallowed in awe.
…29 years later…
The first embryo didn't take.
Maura tried to remain unaffected. Tried to tell herself that it happened to couples all the time. IVF often took multiple attempts, and they still had another shot. They'd been a little hasty once they found out that Jane wasn't a suitable carrier thanks to the scar tissue and trauma that her uterus had taken from gunshot wounds, but her eggs were still viable. While they hadn't talked about who would carry, even though in retrospect Jane's dangerous career made her a risky choice, Maura reveled at the thought of carrying her wife's child. While she wouldn't be related to him or her genetically, they would bond biologically as the baby grew inside her.
She unconsciously ran a hand over her stomach as she lingered in the morgue. She had no autopsies left for the day, just paperwork in her office, but she couldn't bring herself to leave the silent, sterile space. It was still her comfort. The one place that she was in charge and in control. The first place that she felt like she belonged, where her oddities could be translated into something useful. Right now, she needed it as she felt anything but in control when it came to their fertility journey.
"I thought you'd be in here," a warm voice said behind her.
Maura's melancholy lifted slightly at her wife's presence. Jane wrapped her arms around her from behind and rested her chin on Maura's shoulder.
"You doing okay?" Jane asked.
"Yes, just finishing up," Maura said.
Jane let it slide. Maura had put on a strong face, but she knew she'd been defeated since the negative pregnancy test. She turned away, busying herself on her computer.
"What are you doing down here?" the doctor asked over her shoulder.
"Can't a detective come and visit her medical examiner wife?" Jane smirked. She was glad to see the slightest smile lift Maura's mouth. "I was actually thinking we could get out of here."
"It's early," Maura said checking the clock.
"I know," Jane said. "I thought we could take a drive or get dressed up and go to that new restaurant downtown…"
"You need a reservation."
"I'll flash my badge and say we're investigating a case," Jane told her cheekily. "I've always wanted to do that honestly, just to see if it would work."
Maura shook her head, finally looking up at Jane, her face softened but still a little forlorn. Even in her black scrubs with her hair pulled up, Jane thought she looked gorgeous.
"I know you're just trying to cheer me up," the doctor said. "And I love you for it."
"It's okay to be disappointed," Jane told her. "I am too."
The doctor shrugged.
"Women between 34 and 40 have a 38% chance of getting pregnant from their first round of IVF," Maura said. "I knew the odds weren't great."
"Fuck the odds," Jane replied. "This is our baby we're talking about. Our baby isn't going to listen to odds or statistics or specialists."
Maura chuckled, pulling away from the computer. "I knew it would take a few tries. Even if we could conceive naturally, it would," she said. "I suppose I let my desire for a baby outweigh reason."
"Me too," Jane assured her. "I started thinking of how we would set up the nursery and wanted to order their first Red Sox jersey the minute we finished the transfer. I started looking at baby names in-between cases as morbid as that might sound."
It warmed the doctor's heart to know that Jane wanted to start their family just as much as she did. She hadn't doubted it before, but sometimes worried she'd pushed them too quickly into the process. Hearing Jane share her disappointment reassured her in a way she didn't know she needed.
"What names did you come up with?" Maura asked.
"Not many. I tried to think of something you would like too, so obviously I had to rule out David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez and the rest of 2004 World Series roster," Jane joked. "For a boy I like Anthony, Nicholas, or Alexander. I don't know how you would feel about it, but I also considered the name Owen, after you know…"
"Emily Owens," Maura nodded. "That's sweet Jane. What about girls?"
"I got less far on that. I figured you'd want something that screamed old money like Victoria or Elizabeth or Charlotte."
"Our baby girl doesn't need to be named after the British monarchy," Maura laughed. She stepped forward, allowing Jane to pull her in for a hug. "Thank you."
Jane rested her chin on top of Maura's head as she held her in the middle of the empty morgue. So much of their story had started in the cool, bleak room, often pursuing the answers to a death. Now it was strange to think that they were writing another chapter together in their pursuit to bring a new life into the world.
"We'll try again in a few months," Jane said. "We're going to have what you always wanted though, Maura. A house full of laughter and bickering. All the kids you could ever want."
"I'd be happy with even one," Maura confessed.
"Me too," Jane nodded. She loosened her hold on Maura. "We should enjoy this time without a screaming baby though. Let's go have some fun and forget for a little bit. What do you say?"
"That sounds perfect."
…29 years later…
"The patient in this case study is exhibiting tachypnea and tachycardia but is afebrile. Lab results come back showing metabolic acidosis. Who can tell me what the patient likely ingested?"
Dr. Maura Isles-Rizzoli stood at the front of a large lecture hall inside Boston University Medical School. Rows of students stared down at her, viciously taking notes as she gestured to the projector screen. She taught Forensic Pathology twice a week at the college and rumor had circulated that her class was among the hardest. She did her best to make it engaging, but the subject matter didn't always lend itself to captivating an audience.
She sighed as blank faces stared at her.
"Come on, you know this. It's going to be on the exam," Maura tried. "I'm sure most of you have this in your home. Some of you may have even ingested it this morning to help with a hangover before my early class."
A few people chuckled and a student put their hand in the air.
"Acetylsalicylic acid," they answered.
"Correct," Maura smiled. "Aspirin ingestion can lead to metabolic acidosis."
She clicked to the next slide and cleared her throat, when suddenly her phone buzzed on the podium beneath her.
Her brow furrowed as a familiar name flashed across the screen: Frankie Rizzoli.
Maura swallowed hard. Frankie hadn't called her in years. Her stomach clenched. The reason she never turned her phone completely off was the fear that something would happen to one of her children and someone would need to reach her. She thought to let Frankie's call go to voicemail, but a gut feeling told her not to.
"I'm sorry, one moment," Maura said, stepping away and turning off her lapel mic. She answered the phone in the shadows, out of the project's light. "Frankie? What's wrong? Is it Alexandra?"
"No," Frankie answered frantically on the other end. "It's TJ. He got shot at a bank hold-up. He's at Mass General."
Maura's chest tightened. "I'll be right there."