[Adventurer's Guild – Axel]
...Huh? The receptionists seem like they don't know what to do.
Well, the Guild is shaking more than usual... "Kazuma, did you do something again?"
"Am I the first person you always turn to when the Guild calls on everyone else?"
That Megumin...if I were to be honest, I would like to thank the Guildmaster for giving me that durian quest as a favor to let me go from his wife's questioning. It meant that Megumin couldn't blue balls me yesterday night, since I was busy sorting cabbages at a nearby village.
Ha! Suck on that, you blue-balling loli! How'd it feel like to be the receiving end of a cuckold, for once?!
"Kazuma, I don't like that look in your eyes..."
I sighed. Trust Darkness to be blind to her faults as usual.
Anyway, I stepped up to the receptionist. It would seem like every adventurer in the city is staring at me to do it.
...I'm not that shameless, am I? "Luna-san, why'd the Guildmaster call us here? And what's with all the shaking?"
"Ah, it's because the Guildmaster is supposed to announce an important thing, but as for the shaking...I don't know. It's been here since the Guild staff came here..."
"Thanks, Luna-san."
Well, it seems that the Former Demon King had something to announce to us, apparently. But it seems like they don't know much about the shaking...
...Huh? Chris is looking down and muttering something. Come to think of it, her clothes even changed!
It must have something to do with her mother. Judging by the 'talk' that we had yesterday, she told me that she got Chris something that didn't expose as much skin...
...Nice, Eris-sama's mother–!
–Wait! I was trying to figure out what Chris was saying! It's times like this that I'm glad that I have the [Lip-Reading] skill...
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry about my mother. She hasn't been here in more than a few years, so the stress in heaven probably built up inside of her. I'm sorry about my father. He always liked to spoil me and my mother anyway, so I have a feeling that they're responsible for all of this shaking. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my parents..."
As much as I would like to send a copyright complaint for stealing my lines, at least I now know the reason as to why the Guild is shaking.
...It stopped. I don't know what it's supposed to mean, but count me as scared out of my wits.
The door to the Guildmaster's office slammed open. We're all going to die.
"Demonic Cabbage captured~!"
And the Guildmaster came out saying those things.
Wait. 'Demonic Cabbage'?
"Isn't that supposed to be an S-rank monster?"
"How did the Guildmaster capture it?"
"As expected of 'The Artificer'! Even his inventions could trap a Demonic Cabbage!"
...Now that I look at the Demonic Cabbage, it looks like an ordinary cabbage save for the black leaves and red eyes.
Isn't this just a recolored enemy? It seems to like to thrash around its cage, though...
"Kazuma, Kazuma."
"Yes, Kazuma here."
"You might not know about this, but Demonic Cabbages are the Demon King's go-to elite shock troopers. Instead of trying to escape from being cooked and eaten, Demonic Cabbages seek to murder anyone in the vicinity who isn't a Demonic Cabbage. They have a large resistance to magic, so blasting them out of the sky is impossible unless someone uses [Explosion] or [Niflheim] magic on it."
...Why is a damn reskin of a mob so powerful, huh!? That's just plain broken! The Demon King army could just release those damn things onto the frontline and conquer Belzerg in just a day! Why didn't the...
Oh, right.
The Former Demon King is standing right in front of us, being praised by this town's adventurers.
...This is my life now, isn't it?
[Adventurer's Guild – Axel]
"Now, now, simmer down the lot of you", I say, watching as the crowd of adventurers settle down before I continued.
The damn Demonic Cabbage was trying to chew through the cage that I made for it, but it's sadly out of luck.
"Anyways, I came here to say an important announcement..."
Silence.
"...That tomorrow, all of you would be banned from tomorrow onwards."
Luckily I was wearing earplugs, so the sudden influx of sound didn't affect me too much.
The adventurers were about to riot however, so that won't do.
"[Silence, [Illusory Bind]."
And silence came upon the entire Guild. This is going to be one of the times that I'm going to milk this moment.
So, I removed my earplugs and started addressing the crowd. "Now now, there are two ways to get rid of the ban for your party. The first is to accomplish a durian quest. Depending on the difficulty, you can visit the Guild up to a month before you're banned again."
Of course, considering that the most difficult quest involved a griffon and a manticore, they weren't going to risk their lives for that.
"Now, the other way – and the only way to permanently get rid of the ban – is to level up the priest in your party to level thirty."
There were a few dissidents around the crowd, so I continued on talking. "Remember that castle on the outskirts of the city? The one that the crazy explosion girl always tries to blow up for some inane reason? Yeah, that place is full of undead. Great place to level up your priest, if I ever saw one...at least, near Axel, of course."
"Now, I have an incentive." I raised the cage containing the Demonic Cabbage, the thing snarling at everything around it and promising a world of pain.
"The first ten parties to level up their priests get a meal out of this Demonic Cabbage." Ears perked up at that, and I couldn't help but let out a smirk.
"...For anyone who isn't brain-dead, that's a guaranteed twenty levels if only one person eats it."
Silence. Although, all of them were currently buzzing in their places.
"Oh, and for those who have no priests in their party, then get one. The ban won't lift itself, right?"
I replace my earplugs before I let go of my [Silence] and [Illusory Bind] spells. A roar shook through the entire Guild, and the door slammed open as every single adventurer marched out of the Guild immediately.
The only one who remained was my daughter. "Good luck finding a party."
I could immediately tell that she sprinted off towards her assistant.