[Adventurer's Guild – Axel]
The Guild is quiet today.
Which also means that I can finally do my paperwork with ease.
"Moi doesn't know what's more unsettling, the fact that you are currently doing paperwork with a smile on your face, or the fact that you seen committed to doing paperwork in the first place."
"Do you really have to word it like that?" I replied with a frown, pointing my pen towards the masked man in front of me before signing off another form for rerouting Guild funds.
Truly, I am killing two birds with one stone with this deal. Someone should praise me for this.
"Indeed. As much as I hate to say praise to one of moi greatest enemies, this Archduke of Hell commends thou for committing such a dastardly plan in the first place. But moi has to ask, did you consult thy annoying wife about this?"
"You get to annoy her if she ever visits the castle."
"Muahahahahaha! Indeed, I can! Moi can attest that you seem to be more devil than god!" Vanir cackled with glee, posing with his mask even as I signed off a contract for structural repairs. "Thou hast allowed moi to have moi own dungeon, all the while thy wife has an outlet for her bloodlust! Truly, the mark of a Demon King."
I frowned. "You and I both know that I'm not that kind of person any longer."
"Indeed. Moi self was there as a witness for the contract to hand over the ownership of the title of 'Demon King' to that bratty woman with a penchant for the grandeur. However, after such a long time since you have been cast out from the depths of thy kin, did thou expect to remain the same?"
My pen pauses over the form listing Wiz as the proprietor of the Guild branch in front of the castle. A bitter smile forms on my face a moment later.
"...You might be right. To be honest, I don't know as to why my wife still loves me. She knows that I don't have a chance for redemption. She knows what I did, after all."
"Thou had proven thyself in the arts of the bedchamber."
"Any god related to love can do that", I barked back, signing another form for the third party's shares that would come from the maintenance of the castle dungeon. Said third party was most definitely not Vanir.
"Then this Archduke of Hell believes that you had showed her something that no god had ever seen before."
"...You know–"
"Moi was not referring to thy phenomenal girth, of course." I groaned, even as Vanir laughed once more. "Yes, moi is of course talking about the negative emotions coming off thou! One must truly wonder as to why a devil like moi self can feed on thy negative emotions."
Oh, that. "Did thou discover the art of apotheosis?"
I chuckled. "That's too refined a term."
My hand raised to show a figure that even Vanir couldn't recognize, even with his age, knowledge, and power.
"...Call it someone bugging a bigger fish long enough for them to just give in and get what you want."
[Streets of Axel]
"I can't believe that you even had some time to spare for this." Esta said, plopping down beside me as she let out a tired sigh. "...On that end, the same applies to me as well."
"Let's just say that I managed to get an old friend over to watch the Guild." When my wife frowned, I grabbed her hand and sent her a smile. "It's exactly as to who you think it is. Don't worry, he won't traumatize them...well, he won't traumatize them well enough."
"Bree, we talked about this..."
"He's the boss of the castle dungeon."
"...Now that's just getting ahead of me..." Despite her protest however, there was a smile on her face. Her eyes even shone with elation.
"Hey, did you hear about the last-minute contestant in the beauty pageant?"
"Yeah, it's Chris, right?"
"I don't know how, but her friend managed to drag her into it somehow..."
"...Think it's that Kazuma's fault?"
"Hopefully."
Oh no. "Dear..."
"I'm not angry. You are."
"You know I'm not..." Alright, so maybe pulverizing the next chair is a good sign that I'm angry, but I swear I slipped. I promise.
Ah, my wife just did the same thing. Except she did it with my hand instead of the other chair beside her.
"Dear..."
"Punishment. And this is our daughter's seat."
"[Heal]."
"Thank you for understanding. Now, I believe that we need to split up for our current tasks."
Uh oh. "Which are...?"
"I search for our daughter's charming assistant, and you need to take her place in the pageant."
"Are you–"
"Yes, dear. You're not objecting, are you?"
It's kind of hard to object when you're having your hand crushed by your ow, ow, ow, ow, ow–
"Gladly!" I scream out even as I turn towards my wife with horrified eyes, finally noticing the bag of clothes around her waist.
She smiles, giving the bag towards me before she stands up and winks at me. "Remember dear, smile for the camera, alright?"
With that, she leaves, and I turn back to stare at my bag of clothes. Well, my old clothes, but that wasn't the point.
...I'm going to regret this later, aren't I?