[Axel]

...You have got to be kidding me.

"What are you doing here!?"

"I came here for the beauty pageant, yo! Although, seeing you in those clothes...it's a hobby of yours?"

"More like my old adventurer disguise." I grumbled, scratching my head as I stared at the person currently in front of me. Really, she was supposed to be guarding the Guild. Why's she here, exactly?

"Ah, Vanir took over, saying something about killing off their incentive to go into a castle dungeon or something." The teen in front of me sheepishly said, before her eyes widened and she gasped. "Wait! What if they're preparing to attack my castle!? All of the time that I spent trying to get every decoration right is going to– Ow!"

"Their not raiding your castle, idiot." I chided, crossing my arms over my (shamefully padded) chest as I sighed at her. "Speaking of castles, why aren't you in yours?"

"Do you really think a Japanese like me would miss out on a festival?" Alright, that's a good point, but still... "Plus, I heard that you took over the Guild in Axel. I came here to see how you're doing, welcoming gifts and all. We could have a party with Vanir and Wiz too! Old buddies!"

I sighed. "As much as I wanted to, my wife's here, so you'll have to wait by tomorrow."

The teen in front of me blinked, before tilting her head to the side. "Say, this wife of yours...I remember you moping about it during our drink sessions while complaining that– Mmph!"

"Alright, I think that's enough." I chided her, putting a hand over her mouth to shut her up. A second later, she licked my palm, and I my hand recoiled back as I wiped it against my robes.

"Did you really have to do that?"

"Nope!" She said, sticking out her tongue as she skipped a few paces away. I sighed, dismissing my outfit as I followed after her, all the while shaking my head as I did so.

"Matsuri, come on..."

As much as my successor loved being gung-ho about everything, it really only meant that I have to clean up after her. Like now, for example.

Even now I could see Chris taking her seat alongside her assistant, along with a suit of armor that seemed really interested in me for some reason.

Come to think of it, my dear daughter was trying to seal an armor-type relic, isn't it? And it had its own very specific preferences, didn't it?

...My daughter, did you really just give me a sympathetic smile?

"What a wonderful performance from our resident noble, Lalatina-sama!"

"Don't call me Lalatina!"

"And now, coming up are our final two contestants, both dark horses that had just entered this beauty pageant a few moments ago, thus negating Lalatina-sama's participation in the first place!"

"What did you say!? And I told you to stop calling me Lalatina!"

"Presenting, the wannabe Demon King, Matsuri-san, and the True Demon King...G-G-Guildmaster...?"

I was unwillingly forced on stage by the minx that I called my successor. And of course, it also meant that I was currently facing a silent crowd, all staring at me with wide eyes.

Except for my wonderful wife, of course. She was too busy taking pictures.

"Go on. React. I dare you. I've got an [Explosion] spell all ready to cast and everything. Even if my output is less than that crazy explosion girl, I can still hurt all of you in the stands."

...What do you mean that the announcer was correct, huh? I'm not that scary. In fact, the actual Demon King is standing beside me and waving at the crowd in her kimono and everything. She's the one that you should be scared off.

Also, I'm sure that Vanir is going to be full for a night.

"EXACTLY MY TYPE!!!"

"Ho?" My eyes narrow as I search for the one who had enough balls to say that to my face, but instead I find a set of sentient armor racing towards me at the speed of sound.

Wait. Isn't that–?

"THE ANDROGYNOUS APPEARANCE! THE GAP MOE! THE FACT THAT THEY'RE A MAGIC CASTER INSTEAD OF A MUSCLE-BOUND IDIOT! M-M-M-M-MY TYYYYYYYYYYYYYPEEEEEEE!"

The armor rattled as it entered the stage, huffing and breathing like some kind of pervert. No, I was mistaken.

Exactly like a pervert. "Come here, little one, I have some candy inside me, I swear..."

Oh dear god save me from this scarily accurate representation. Esta? Esta! Esta, my dear wife, just where the hell are you– oh.

Right. The camera that she used to picture me could only take twenty pictures before the manatite battery wore out. She must be getting it refilled from a nearby magic shop...

...My dear ladies and gentlemen, I am screwed. Well, about to be, but it doesn't change the outcome.

"Now hold up, you shifty-looking piece of armor! Just what do you think you're doing to a married man!?"

Matsuri...you just became my third-favorite person in this world.

"He's...married?" The armor seemed to pause, even as I chant the spells for [Sacred Sealing] quietly. "I remember my previous owner telling me about this. I do believe it's called NTR, and I...I...I LOVE IT!"

"Matsuri!"

"Roger!"

I could wipe tears of joy. How I platonically love you, my dear successor. You chucked that armor off the stage like it was nothing.

"MOVE, GIRL! I WISH TO PARTAKE IN THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT THAT MY FORMER MASTER LIKED TO INDULGE IN BUT NEVER SHOW ME!"

"Matsuri!"

"I heard you the first time!"

My successor, how far had you come...at first, you were just a brat that wanted the title back in their chuuni days, but now you're such a splendid successor...! To meet an armor that I had personally forged head-on without even flinching...!

"GIRL, TO MEET MY BLOWS HEAD-ON...IT SEEMS THAT I HAVE TO UNLEASH MY ULTIMATE POWER!"

"Matsuri!"

"Bree, shut up!"

"Idiot, move out of the way! I'm ready to cast my spell!"

"Ah..."

Oh, my dear successor, how far have you fallen...to think that you wouldn't even realize what I meant!

Although to be fair, she did say she usually worked solo...

"NO! MY DREAMS...MY NTR!"

"Take this, you disgusting piece of adamantite! [Sacred Sealing]!"

In a move that I totally didn't rip off from one of the games that Matsuri had lying around in her personal quarters, I released a pure blast of energy from my palms, meeting the armor head-on as I grinned in satisfaction.

First, this clothing. Second, this amount of padding on my chest. Third, my successor that couldn't even do a simple thing like keeping watch. Then, this armor that had once targeted my cute and adorable little daughter who had the gall to aim lower.

...Needless to say, it was quite satisfying to see the damn thing become a big lump of adamantite.