DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN iCarly, if I did...man, the things I would've done with the show. :D

There had been several moments throughout the six or so years that they'd been... 'acquainted' with each other that had shaped, and heavily impacted their ever evolving relationship. Mixed emotions are normal, and it's normal to not understand them. Especially at the tender age of eleven, which is when their adventurous journey began.

First instinct when you think someone is cute is to instantly insult them, right? Well, it was for Sam Puckett. However, she'd grown tired of Freddie Benson's endless advances towards her best friend, and managed to get over her 'crush' pretty quickly. Sadly, the insults stuck like guerrilla glue, and the constant bickering became their thing. Being the confused, naive children they were, this was the safest route.

Sam and Freddie both had rough upbringings, and could relate to each other in a way that Carly Shay just couldn't, no matter how hard she tried. They both had had it rough, but in remarkably different ways. This caused their personalities to clash, in a very unique way. A lot of their inner, hidden qualities were the same, but neither would come to realize this until years later. Both of them were incredibly stubborn, and had a hard time breaking habits once they were comfortable in them.

So even in those rare moments, that you'd need a magnifying glass to scrutinize, the bickering continued. The enemy stage lasted roughly three years, until they reached age fourteen. The average median age for puberty, and confusion. The pair was still seemingly hostile towards each other, but after being forced into several different strenuous situations, they'd been forced to come to the conclusion that they were at least fr-enemies.

The friendship stage came only a short time later. Along with the teen's first kiss, which just so happened to be each other. It was one of those times, which were few and far between, where Sam had allowed herself to display vulnerability towards him. No one else was able to have this effect on her. Anyone who attempted to get close to her, (Carly excluded) normally ended up with a black eye, wedgie, or worse. Again, fourteen was a weird age. They weren't exactly kids anymore, but they sure as hell weren't mature enough to delve into their issues just yet, or even begin to decipher what in God's green Earth was going on in their hearts when they parted ways that evening.

So as Sam stepped back into the window, Freddie stopped her, and gave her a very obviously sarcastic, "I hate you." She'd responded with her own equally loaded, less than heartfelt, "Hate you, too." And they'd left it at that. They'd both felt something in that kiss though, even if they pretended not to.

Things returned to their own little form of normal for a while. Although there was a subtle decrease in the severity of her insults, and his constant bitterness and frustration towards her when she did insult him dissipated significantly. It was short lived, however, because shit hit the fan about eight months later. They joined forces when Carly found out about the kiss, choosing to side with each other and defend their reasoning for keeping it a secret. Carly was furious, and maybe even a little jealous. She may have dropped the subject shortly after, but it didn't drop from their minds. She'd asked them if they liked the kiss, and neither had an opportunity to answer, thanks to an interruption from Spencer.

Their mutual confusion about the situation caused a small rift in their friendship. An awkwardness that could only be replaced by even more arguing than before, if that were possible. Arguing that became worse and worse as time and unresolved feelings went on.

Freddie had been a sheltered child, to put it lightly. His mother was overbearing, and overprotective...and let's face it, the woman could be downright nutty sometimes. They all knew it. She had her reasons though, and they weren't altogether that hard to understand, if you took the time to try. She and Freddie had a strained relationship, which was no secret. The secret was why. It was because for the longest time, he blamed her for his father's death. She had been the one driving after all. She had also been pregnant with Freddie's baby sister at the time, who died with his father in the crash. Freddie was seven. Too young to understand that accidents happen, but old enough to understand that his daddy was gone, and it was because of his mom.

Marissa blamed herself enough for the accident, but Freddie's constant blame, even though she knew he was too young to mean it, took a toll on her. The constant reminder that her soul mate, and baby girl were both gone because of her own stupidity. She'd looked away from the road for a second...a second was all it took for her world to come crumbling down. Pummeling into the back of a tractor trailer, they went, and then two of the people she loved most in the world were gone forever. A second.

She and Freddie had repaired their relationship to some extent, but neither was ever the same again. He was beyond guilt ridden that he'd caused his mother so much pain, therefore giving him a major reason to put up with her craziness.

It was around the same time he had met Carly and Sam, that his mother had just finished med school. She was working a lot of late hours in her residency, but she'd raised him so well that she trusted him to be home alone a lot, even though he was so young. He knew how to take care of himself, and that was, ironically, thanks to her overbearing personality. Plus, short being at the hospital with her, their apartment was the safest place for him to be.

Despite their haunted past, Mrs. Marissa Benson had raised Freddie to be a genuinely kind, and caring person. He'd proven on several occasions that he did indeed care a great deal about Carly...and Sam.

One instance had been the Missy situation, before Carly had ever found out about the kiss. Not only was he visibly concerned for Sam when she'd ended up sick, he'd literally just handed over a dream of his to help her. At the time, she hadn't known. It wasn't until months later, after a particularly nasty argument between the pair, that she had found out.

"Oh, yeah? Well, that shows how much you know. God, what's in that head of yours, a pound of meat?" Freddie screamed at her, ducking as she hurled a book at his head.

"Even if it was, at least it'd be more meat than you got between your legs, little girl Benson!" She yelled, searching around the studio for something else to throw at him.

"Damn." said Gibby, chuckling. He immediately stopped, and cleared his throat after two death glares were sent his way. "I'm just gonna...yeah." He scampered off out the door, closing it quietly behind them as they kept yelling.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" Freddie teased.

"Give me a break, I wouldn't go there even if you were the last guy on Earth. I'd become a lesbian first." She snarled. "Maybe convince Carly to give it a go." She added sarcastically.

"Yeah, like that would work. It'd do you some good to take notes from her book,cause at the rate you're going, no guy or girl will ever be into you anyway." He snapped. Immediately, he felt regret wash over him. Many of their shared insults, both knew not to take to heart. However, he knew that comment would be one of the ones she did. In all honesty, he couldn't remember how long it'd been since he'd actually meant any hurtful thing he said to her. Their daily banter was fun, and just normal. Light playfulness. It was them.

"Sam..." He said, all the venom gone from his voice. "I didn't mean that."

She narrowed her eyes at him, obviously still pissed off. "Yes, you did." She retorted. "You never say anything you don't mean."

"On the contrary, I say a lot of things I don't mean. Every day. Most of them to you."

"The hell is that supposed to mean? Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Of course not, Sam. That's not what I-"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

"Sam, I-"

"You know what, save it Fredderly. You've said enough."

"If you'd just let me-"

"Blah blah blah!" Sam sang provokingly, plugging her ears.

"FOR THE LOVE OF FUDGE, SAM. If you'd just LET ME TALK for once in your damn life." He shouted in frustration, throwing his hands up.

She unplugged her ears, and gave him a thoughtful look. "Why would I? I don't want to hear anything you have to say. The only words that ever come out of your mouth are dorkatron language, pathetic comebacks, and ridiculous professions of love for someone who will never love you back. Did I summarize it right? Yep, pretty sure I did. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed." Without another word, Sam took off for the solace of Carly's bedroom, and her fluffy, weighted, annoyingly pink comforter.

She couldn't understand why she was feeling the way she was. His words hadn't ever cut her so deeply. She'd known since the day they met that she'd always come in second to Carly when it came to him, but did he actually believe she'd come in second to everyone else too? That not a single person in the world, male or female, would look her way because she wasn't like Carly? Of course she had those thoughts about herself...but to have that fear verbalized by someone else, someone she thought was her friend...

"Sam? You okay?" Carly called to her hesitantly, a concerned look on her face. She was already laying in bed, having gotten tired of listening to the argument pretty much as soon as it had started and left them to it.

Sam realized she'd just been standing in the door, staring off into space. "Yeah, I'm good. Scooch." Carly moved over a small bit, and made room for her friend. Sam didn't bother undressing, she just kicked off her shoes and climbed into the bed. She immediately felt a sense of relief, and sighed deeply as Carly covered her with the blanket.

"Wanna tell me what happened?"

"Same as always."

"It didn't sound the same. And the look on your face when you walked in here also says otherwise. Talk." Carly may have sounded stern, but she was also running her fingers through Sam's mane of curly blonde hair, something she did when she knew Sam was stressed out.

"He said some...things." Sam whispered hesitantly.

"Like?"

"Rude things."

"You both always say rude things. It's not like you ever mean them."

"He meant it this time."

"What did he say?"

Sam had never been able to talk to anyone like she could Carly. It was weird, as they were polar opposites. At one time, Sam had tried to push her away, but Carly forced her way into Sam's life, regardless of the mean things she'd said to try to keep her at bay. When Carly was determined, she usually got her way. And she was very determined to be friends with Sam for some reason. So Sam reluctantly let her in. Carly shoved her tiny self into Sam's heart, and over a surprisingly short amount of time, expanded until she took up a large portion of it. So any time something was really eating at Sam, she knew she could talk to Carly, with no fear of judgement, or humiliation.

This was one of those times. Things had been strained for a few weeks, as Carly was still slightly upset at Sam and Freddie, but she was always able to put her anger aside if one of her friends was upset.

So Sam took a deep breath, and sat up to confide in her friend. "He basically said that since I'm nothing like you, nobody will ever love me. And that's been his opinion of me since day one, so...there's no way he didn't mean it. He said it because he means it, and because he really doesn't care if he hurts me. Maybe he thinks I don't even have feelings, I don't know. I do know he genuinely hates me, and he's got a good reason, I guess. But I had thought...I don't know, I thought we'd somehow moved past that. We've all been through so much together, I thought...It just sucks to know that I maybe somewhat possibly...and if you ever repeat this, Shay, to ANYONE, so help me God, you'll be getting the butter sock." She warned.

"Duly noted, continue."

"I've...gotten used to having the little dweeb around. And it'd suck if he were ever...not around, ya know? It just doesn't feel too great to know he couldn't care less if I wasn't." Sam sighed in defeat, looking down at her lap.

Carly gave her a sad smile. "Sam...I know sometimes...okay A LOT of the time, it appears that he doesn't see you as a friend. And a lot of the times, it appears you don't see him that way either. That's ONLY from an outsider's perspective though. You guys are my best friends, and I know you better than anyone. I've seen you almost every day since we met, and since you and him met. I'm a very observant person, Sam. Maybe you don't see it, because you're in it, but you can't tell me there isn't something between you guys besides hatred."

"Carly." Sam huffed. "I appreciate the-"

"I am not finished yet, Samantha Puckett." Carly interrupted, being the only person on the face of the planet that was allowed to do so.

"Sorry...go on." Sam mumbled sheepishly.

"Do you even know what he did for you?"

"Uh...when?"

"Just a few months ago. Remember Missy?" Sam grimaced at the mention of that red headed bitch. She hoped she was puking off the side of that fancy boat right about then.

"Unfortunately." She rolled her eyes. "What about her?"

"That trip she's on, right now...Freddie won it, not Missy."

Sam sat and pondered that statement. What did that mean? That he...but no. There was no way he would do that, he was so excited for it. She'd thought he was going to win it for sure. She couldn't believe her foolishness, of course there was no way that Missy had actually won it. The confusion-turned revelation was apparently obvious on her face.

"He gave it to Missy. For you." Carly continued, confirming what she'd been thinking.

"But...why?"

"I asked him, and he got all squirrely and stuttery. I accused him of caring about you, and he didn't deny it. He'd said, 'Well...she was really upset.' I poked fun at him a little, but I was so happy. He asked me not to say anything to you, and I'm sorry I didn't. I just assumed you'd make fun of him for it."

"At the time, I probably would have." Sam suddenly felt bad. And good. She felt bad and good at the same time. Happiness spread through her at the fact that, despite all of the horrible things she'd done and said to him over the years, he'd still managed to find a soft spot for her. Guilt seeped it's way into the mixture also, because of all of the horrible things she'd done and said over the years. She decided it was time to suck it up, and do something very uncharacteristic of her. She was going to let the little nub in. No one would know but her. And of course she'd also never admit, not even to Carly, but she'd developed her own soft spot for him.

Suddenly, Sam was on her feet, sliding her shoes back on.

"Where are you going?" Carly asked. "It's almost eleven o'clock."

"I'm just going to talk to Freddie for a few. I'll be right back." Sam answered as she rushed out the door. Less than two minutes later, she was at his door. She knocked, and waited several minutes, but got no answer. Sighing, she turned to go back into Carly's apartment when the door behind her swung open to reveal a disheveled Freddie.

"Hey, Sam...what's up?" He asked, yawning.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's co-wait, what? Since when do you care about waking people? Scratch that, when do you care about waking me up?" He was now completely awake, amidst the shock of her apology.

Ignoring him, she got straight to the point. "Alright, Benson, I've already threatened Carly with the butter sock tonight, now it's your turn. A word to anybody about what I'm about to say, and that, among other things, will find their way into places they don't belong. You understand me?"

Freddie gulped loudly, and nodded, waiting for her to speak. Instead, she just stood there. The silence wasn't awkward, but it wasn't not awkward. She wasn't sure what to say, or how to say it. Instead, she did another very unSam like thing. He leaned backwards as she approached him, and that ticked her off a bit.

"Stand still, dweeb, I'm not gonna hurt you."

"I've heard that before."

"JUST...stand still."

He froze in his spot, a look of confusion on his face. He then closed his eyes, knowing whatever she was going to do to him was well deserved after what he'd said to her earlier. Again, she moved towards him. This time, he stayed still, and simply braced himself for an impact that never came. At least, not as hard an impact as he was expecting. Instead, it was very soft,and warm. Sam was hugging him. Unsure of what to do, he awkwardly patted her back.

"Are you...okay?" He asked.

"Thank you. For...giving up that trip." She muttered against his chest. She held on for a moment longer, and then backed up to put at least two feet of distance between them. Freddie released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"What?" He hadn't quite heard what she'd said.

"I SAID...I said thank you. For giving up that trip. Even if you didn't do it for me, I still appreciate the fact that Missy is gone, and you're the one that made that happen, so thank you." She finished in a rush, avoiding looking him in the eye. It was few moments before either of them spoke again, him looking at her curiously, and her looking anywhere but at him.

"I did do it for you." He finally said. Her eyes snapped up to meet his gaze. "Like you said, you wouldn't have come to me for help if you weren't serious."

She smiled up at him, spit on her hand, and held it out to him. He looked at it, and raised an eyebrow at her. She shook her hand in a persistent manner, so he reluctantly spit on his own hand, and reached out and shook hers. They nodded at each other, both acknowledging a silent truce in that handshake.

They still continued to argue, and bicker constantly after that. But it was back to how it was after the kiss. There was less bite behind their barks. And the two of them were...dare they say it...friends. Best friends. Best friends who poked fun at each other, sure, but they were quick to defend one another if someone else tried to do it.

That friendship eventually blossomed into something neither wanted to admit. Or they just couldn't. That may have partly been due to the fact that it had taken four years to even admit to anyone that they were even friends. They were in uncharted territory, so they kept their feelings to themselves...for then, at least.