A/N: Right before I posted the last chapter, an acquaintance asked me, "Are your Regency stories spicy like the Bridgerton series?" I laughed and clarified, "No, no, not at all. Mine are only a little suggestive."After reading your comments on the chapter, I want to change my answer to "way too subtle" Don't blame Darcy for being pig-headed, cowardly, etc for wanting to leave. He has to be away from the lady because he couldn't control his -young readers, please skip the next word - libido. The pantaloons and trousers men wore in those days were skin-tight. A pronounced protrusion - euphemized by 'physical ardor' in the chapter - between the legs would have no place to hide with those cut-away fronts of men's coats. Darcy would die of shame if his arousal was observed by Elizabeth. Ever since I saw those pants in period movies/TV, I often wonder how that could have been decent. Perhaps most of you do not have fascinations like mine and therefore did not catch that "nuance." See, here I am using all those words that would have made the meaning clear. Those who got it the first time, could you let me know so that I would not feel obliged to imitate Julia Quinn in my future stories? So far I have been trying not to say things that JA would have frowned upon.
Sorry about these super long author's notes from time to time. I beg your indulgence. Thanks for reading and commenting, and have a wonderful weekend -and forgive me for that big cliffie at the end of this chapter.
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That night before bed, Lizzy and Jane talked about Mrs. Dobson's peculiar inquiry and Anne's interpretation of Mrs. Dobson's interest. Jane was astounded that so much had been read into her talking with Dr. King about plants.
"Dr. King did mention this evening that his interest in medicinal uses of plants started when his late wife started developing symptoms of her prolonged illness. He seems very devoted to her and her memory. He talked about his children as well. The oldest son will inherit his maternal grandfather's estate even though he himself would like the boy to become a physician, as he comes from a distinguished medical family. He said he would bring his girls along next time he shows me the native plants in Kent with healing properties. As for being attached to any man right now, I am not ready. I truly meant it when I told you that I would like to see where my interest in plant extracts would lead me."
Elizabeth said absently, "Just as well. Men are trouble."
Jane inclined her head to look at her sister's face, which was bent low. "Where was that from, Lizzy? You have been quite subdued and preoccupied all day. Is there anything you would share with your favorite sister?" Jane teased with the same words that Lizzy often used to wrangle information out of her.
"Oh!" Lizzy said, trying hard to come up with another prevarication to handle this unwanted inquiry. It seemed that she never told the truth anymore. "I found out today that the Rosings Estate owes fifty thousand pounds! I tried to no avail to ask Anne to take back enough of the dowries she bestowed on us to pay off the debt. I just feel guilty about taking money that Anne could use to better the estate."
"Wow, fifty thousand pounds! How is half that sum to be repaid?" exclaimed Jane, having momentarily forgotten that the large debt had nothing to do with men.
"That was exactly what I said, word for word!" Lizzy stopped there, remembering that she said these words to Mr. Darcy and not Anne, and then she had seen the gentleman's smoldering gaze that made her heart beat so fast that she escaped from his side abruptly. Suddenly, she understood. Mr. Darcy's decision to leave early was because he thought he was rejected once again. That was also why he was so distant and cold all day. She stared into the room with such a fixed gaze that got Jane worried.
"Lizzy! Lizzy! Are you well? We shall find a way to give the money back to Anne. It is not the end for Rosings if Anne refuses to take the money back."
Elizabeth came back to the present from far away, and smiled wanly to Jane, "Dearest, I am well. It is late. I want to get up early to go for a walk in the park. I did this every morning when I was here for Easter. Let us go to bed."
The sisters said good night and pulled the counterpane over their shoulders. Lizzy for once wished that she had accepted Anne's offer of having her own bedroom at Rosings. Tonight, she would be tossing and turning, and poor Jane would have no peace in sleep.
For half the night, Elizabeth could think of nothing else but seeing Mr. Darcy during her morning walk, which had happened almost every morning during his Easter visit. She was determined to make clear to him that he should not leave so suddenly on her account. Of course, she would never tell him that if she had not gotten up to leave at that moment, she might have done something she would be ashamed of and regret. Those feelings were so strong, nay, violent, that she did not have a chance of handling them like the rational being she usually was.
She might be making a fool of herself by making such self-centered assumptions, but she decided that it was worth the risk. She simply could not stand the thought that he misunderstood her motive for leaving his presence so rudely. If she was wrong, and he was really trying to distance himself from her, then her effort would be no loss on her part as she would likely not see him in the future. As it was, she could just tell Anne that she would do her father's bidding after all, and she would return to Longbourn the same day Mr. Darcy left for Pemberley. She would also not marry so that when she reached age seven-and-twenty, she would be able to return her share of the dowry to Rosings. All these thoughts were swirling in her head so that at the end, she again did not exactly know what she would do when she saw Mr. Darcy in the grove, the place where they had encountered each other many mornings, and the place where he had handed her the letter.
She got to the grove quite early and walked around until she was completely sick of walking in circles. She sat down on a log to wait, yet Mr. Darcy did not come. She walked back to Rosings, feeling extremely defeated because she had guessed wrong again.
At the breakfast parlor, there was still food on the sideboard. Miss Darcy was the only one there, just finishing her breakfast.
"Miss Elizabeth, Anne was looking for you to go with Mr. Wright to look over the home farm. My brother made the arrangements. Have you broken your fast yet? I am used to town hours. Everyone else is gathered in the library waiting for you," explained Miss Darcy.
Elizabeth smiled pleasantly at the young girl, very pleased that she had grown far more sociable since they met at Darcy House just two weeks before.
"Oh! Good morning, Miss Darcy. Is your brother going with us?" asked Elizabeth with a casual air before taking a roll and some tea from the footman and sat down to have her breakfast. She was not at all hungry anyway.
"No, Brother will not be along. He said he needed to send some expresses ahead of his journey tomorrow on account of his changing his itinerary at the last minute."
"I see." Elizabeth quickly finished her meager meal and walked to the library with Miss Darcy. The whole group left in two phaetons just like the day before, and Mr. Wright went on horseback.
In the afternoon, they went to see two other tenants, and again visited the parsonage. Elizabeth was exhausted when she arrived back at Rosings and had to lie down. She meant to rest for just a few minutes, but she slept until the loud dinner gong woke her. Since Charlotte and the Lucases would be coming to dinner, she hurried to the drawing room after quickly changing for dinner.
Everyone was already there. The crowd was larger than the night before, and she did not have any opportunity to talk to Mr. Darcy, who was as distant as the previous evening. Even Sir William seemed somewhat muted, but that did not prevent him from spending quite a few minutes lamenting the fact that just weeks before, the dinners at Rosings were not so shrouded in melancholy because of his son's and Lady Catherine's health challenges.
After dinner, Elizabeth helped pour coffee while Jane served tea. Her eyes followed Mr. Darcy around the room. He got his coffee from Sir William, who handed him a cup, and had been engaged in conversation with the always loquacious gentleman.
Elizabeth was in despair. Sir William could talk all night without taking a breath! Just when she had given up talking to Mr. Darcy that evening, the man himself brought back his coffee cup. Before she had gathered her courage to start speaking with him, Mr. Darcy said to her, "Miss Elizabeth, I would like to take my leave of you. As you may have heard, I shall be returning to Pemberley tomorrow at first light."
Elizabeth said, breathlessly, "Oh, you must not leave so early. You must not leave without saying goodbye to Miss Darcy! She keeps town hours."
Mr. Darcy looked at her quizzically while Elizabeth blushed very becomingly on speaking of such nonsense. Of course, the rosy cheeks made it impossible for Mr. Darcy not to stare at her with the kind of intensity that scared Elizabeth the first time. Now, however, Elizabeth had guessed the meaning behind the stare, and said with the same sauciness that the gentleman so loved, "Besides, you have not said goodbye to your favorite grove, where you used to haunt."
Mr. Darcy said somewhat dumbly, "The haunted grove…"
Elizabeth said again, "Yes, you did not go to say goodbye this morning. You have not yet said goodbye to the grove."
Mr. Darcy said gravely because he honestly did not know what to think, "I shall make certain to visit the grove before I leave." Was Elizabeth giving him a hint? From the brilliant smile that she bestowed on him on hearing this, he rather thought perhaps she was.
Neither Elizabeth nor Mr. Darcy could be sensible the rest of the evening. When Charlotte came up to her and asked whether it was possible that Jane and Dr. King had an understanding since they were talking almost exclusively to each other most of the evening, Elizabeth looked at her best friend and said off-handedly, "I do not take your meaning. Dr. King had loved his late wife dearly. He will be in mourning for at least six more months, perhaps longer."
Charlotte thought this answer somewhat abrupt but said nothing more. To Charlotte's observant eye, Eliza had been distracted since her visit to the parsonage that afternoon. She had been exceptionally quiet and restrained. She also looked exhausted as if she had not slept. Now she seemed nervous and impatient.
Elizabeth went to bed without the usual tête-à-tête with Jane, and then kept tossing and turning. Jane realized something important was on her sister's mind. Was she uneasy about defying her father's wishes, or could it be something else? She would ask in the morning.
As soon as daylight appeared, Elizabeth got out of bed, dressed quickly, and slipped out of doors. The first place she went was the stable yard. Seeing that all was quiet except for a couple of grooms working around the Darcy coach, she breathed a sigh of relief. Mr. Darcy had not left.
She then walked briskly to the grove. Once there, she paced back and forth, wringing her hands, trying to calm her mind. She had not figured out what she was planning to say if Mr. Darcy showed up. She had spent all night in turbulent thoughts with no resolution. She could not make out why she felt so urgently that she must see Mr. Darcy before he was to leave. Was it because she might not ever see him again? She also regretted making such a suggestive proposition to Mr. Darcy, asking him to come to the grove before he left. It almost felt like an assignation. Whatever respect he had for her had to be completely destroyed in the face of this shameless wantonness. She finally decided that what was done, was done, and she might as well just bear the consequences.
Soon after she had composed herself, she heard footsteps. She turned toward the sound and saw Mr. Darcy approaching. Her heart jumped up almost to her throat, and she froze both in countenance and in motion.
Mr. Darcy saw his love standing there, with the slanting sun rays of dawn shining all around her. To him, she was Venus personified.
Mr. Darcy bowed, and Elizabeth curtsied. Both were silent for a long beat as if they had been in a trance; Elizabeth then broke the silence and said with levity, "How does one say farewell to a grove? Should it be to each tree individually, or to the grove as a whole?"
Mr. Darcy, on hearing this, again felt that traitorous physical reaction rising. Could there be anything more humiliating than this! The lady said a little thing in jest about trees, and he wanted to devour her! He said in a panic that he tried to control, "Madam, you are too kind to trifle with me. Good day."
He bowed, then turned and wanted to be as far from this enchantress as possible.