[Kazuma's Mansion – Axel]
"YOU IDIOOOOT!!!"
Now, it's early in the morning, around eleven or so. Usually at this time, my party and I would be at the Guild, killing time until we find a quest that we can do.
But now? Now we can't. Because we got banned from the Guild.
"Honestly! It's either you, Darkness, or Aqua that's trying to make me insane! Just yesterday I had managed to convince that useless goddess to go and kill some undead so we'll be allowed back in the Guild, but what did you do!? You casted [Explosion] on the castle! The very same castle that the Guildmaster warned you to not explode!"
"Well, I couldn't help it! That bastard was all 'crazy explosion girl' this and 'don't cast [Explosion] on that'. You mean to say that you wouldn't do that if they insulted your pride!?"
"Oh?" My eyes narrow at this chuuni, explosion-loving, blue-balling, unrepentant loli. "So Megumin-san. Do tell me as to how are we going to go on quests?"
"That's easy! You first go to the Gui–"
Hm. It seems that she's smart enough to realize the situation that we're in.
"W-Well, we can just lounge around the house, right? We have enough money to last for a long time, anyway. Long enough that we can simply outwait that annoying Guildmaster."
"Ho. Then tell me, where do we keep our money?"
"That's painfully obvious! While we have some in our person, most of our wealth is stored... in the Guild..."
Silence. Then...
"Well, Kazuma can just–"
"Are you an idiot? Do you think that I can just waltz in and threaten the Guildmaster into allowing us back into the Guild? Aren't you supposed to be a Crimson Demon? The race with high Intelligence? Then why don't you use that peanut brain of yours to see that it's a stupid idea!"
"...What if I casted [Explosion] on the Guild–"
Ah, no use. This idiot is too deep in denial. Normally in this situation I could use Darkness's influence, but...
"Kazuma, you must understand that before the current Guildmaster retired, he was a highly-successful adventurer on the front lines, driving back the Demon King Army to a stalemate with Belzerg's forces. I cannot in good conscience force the man to submit to a noble's will."
"I got it the first time. You're useless."
"Mmn...!"
Aaagh, this is bad! At this rate, we're going to have to sell our mansion just to get by. Then after that, we'd have to sleep in the stables again...
No, we can't even do that. I'm pretty sure the Guildmaster has control of them too, considering that it's the most common place where new adventurers sleep.
There's literally no way out!
...Well there is, but it's the one that is going to make things a lot worse.
Ding dong!
Finally! Something that I can do to take my mind off of this mess! "Hold on, I'm coming!"
I sprinted out of the living room like it was on fire. Well, I'd be selling it for firewood in a few days if the ban keeps going on.
Although when I opened the door, I met the grinning face of the Guildmaster.
"Kazuma-san, what a coincidence! It seems that you still don't want to shell out the funds for the repairs out of your own pocket. It's fine, though! Last I checked, you still had about twenty three million eris in your account, but I'm afraid to say that it wouldn't be enough for you to pay off the damages. I'm sure you and I could cut a deal out. I've heard news that you're good at it."
Can someone save me from this loan shark? I don't want to go into debt again!
"Sadly, if you want to cut a deal now, you're going to have to visit me outside the Guild later. I'm here to deliver a package to the little ungrateful runt who doesn't seen to care about property damage. Ungrateful brat, too. It's the most likely reason as to why her chest wouldn't grow any time soon."
"Darkness upon darkness, a curtain of everlasting– Mmph!"
"And [Silence]. Do you want me to teach you that skill, Kazuma-san? I'm sure it would be quite useful for someone of your skillset. All I need is for you to give me that Crimson Demon–"
"Nee-chan! Are you here? Komekko wants to play!"
At least someone had the heart to save me from this passive-aggressive former Demon King...
...Wait. "Komekko?"
"Nee-chan! Mom says that you need to get laid with Kazuma-san immediately, or she's going to disown you! Whatever that means!"
I stared at the Guildmaster, finding him gone as a note fluttered towards my nose. I swiped it out of mid-air and read it immediately.
"Take care of the brat in the same way you took care of the newest dungeon. Signed, the one that you still owe a lot of money to."
...Eris-sama, I can't do this all on my own.
[Ludurina Pass – Axel]
"You just hate us, don't you?"
I blink, glancing up my goggles to find my cute and adorable little daughter's assistant staring at me with a blank look on his face. I then glance towards his party, currently shaking their boots as they waited for the griffin and manticore to show up.
My gaze turned back to Kazuma. "No. I just hate about three-quarters of your party."
"That's three people, isn't it!?"
"Oh, you can count, that's good." I said, nodding with a smile on my face as Kazuma was in the process of blowing a fuse.
"Who's the other person in the first place...oh. It's Aqua, isn't it?"
"Huh? You mean the dumb, manipulative, selfish piece of trash who had the gall to not only tarnish my name, but to also push on her paperwork to my cute and adorable little daughter?"
"Right, I should've known..."
Driving my name to the ground was fine. But to set her sights on my daughter? That was the worst decision that she ever made.
"So, why do you hate me?"
"Because you look at my daughter the same way you look at those party members of yours."
"I don't!"
"Ho...?"
"I-I really don't!"
"Just get on with the quest." I replied, shooing him off with a hand. "You're the party that's responsible for eliminating three Demon King Army Generals, right? You're also the party that dealt the final blow against the Mobile Fortress Destroyer, right? So what's a griffin and a manticore to you people?"
Kazuma could only blanch as he slowly trudged back to his teammates, and I couldn't help but chuckle while I flipped through my newspaper. "Matsuri?"
"You called?"
I glanced towards my successor with an appraising look on my face.
"You think that they can do this quest?"
"Absolutely not."
"That's what I expected." I sighed, closing my newspaper as I pulled out a whistle from my pockets and blew.
A screeching sound echoed a second later, and I glance towards my successor with a smirk. "Say, how'd you feel about having a griffin as a pet?"
"Hm, I don't really know...Can I decorate it?"
"Armored griffins, huh..."
We both let out a dreamy sigh at that, even as a griffon landed on the plateau with a manticore hot on its heels.
"...Want to test your beast tamer skills on it?"
The only reply that I received from Matsuri was a whoop, already sprinting towards the griffin with a crazed expression in her eyes.
Meanwhile, I could only sigh and lean back against my seat, ready to observe the mayhem.