Disclaimer: I own neither the characters nor the series. The original サヨナラを教えてseries is owned by FOOO嘉

"Welcome Back!"

My wife was already returned when I got home.

She's watching TV while eating the leftover steamed chicken, cucumber salad, and broccoli mushroom stir-fry from yesterday.

It was already around 11 o'clock.

She had come back faster than expected. I had thought she wouldn't be back until tomorrow. I swallowed my the usual "I'm back" and tried to be natural when I replied.

"You're back early."

"It was a fun Christmas."

My wife laughed happily, knowing she worked hard and was able to finish work early.

Since I told her I was going to a year-end party with my colleagues, I won't be snooped on my later arrival.

She waved her chopsticks as I made me took of my coat and placed down my bag. I placed the cake I had brought home with me in the fridge while taking out that new tea she had gotten addicted to recently.

I'd always wanted to tell her that it had an aftertaste reminiscent of toothpaste but I knew that was just foolish to do. However, it was perfect for washing away the taste of alcohol in my mouth.

"Pour some for me too."

"Sure."

I poured some tea into my wife's mug and sat down next to her.

I wasn't too familiar with the program playing on the television, one that was different from what I normally saw. They were sisters but they had different preferences.

"The bath's still hot."

"Oh, thank you."

It was something I had expected seeing as my wife was in her sleepwear and not wearing any make-up.

Actually, I wouldn't have minded taking a shower if the bathwater wasn't hot anymore. However, my wife can't relax unless she's fully immersed in a bathtub.

It would make it easier for me when I clean the bathroom but I don't really have the right to say bring up such concerns as she's already responsible for doing majority of the housework including cooking.

Little gratitude with an obedient attitude. Those were the words told to me that were the key to keep a marriage going. It came a fellow teacher who was now on his 40th anniversary with his wife.

"What did you eat?"

"Boiled chicken wings?"

That and cake. I don't mention the cake as I felt my wife would have liked it.

"What? You could have eaten something more Christmas-y."

She giggled happily. That must have made her feel better that her husband had finally attended a year-end party instead of staying here with her.

I only needed to look in the refrigerator for proof.

"I've already seasoned the chicken; do you want to bake it now?"

She's in a good mood.

"No need to push yourself when you're tired already. Let's enjoy it tomorrow."

Brushing my wife's head, I brought my empty cup to the sink along with the plate had eaten with.

"I bought a cake. You want to cut it now? Or tomorrow?" I asked over the counter as I washed my cup. After a little hesitation, she replied.

"Tomorrow. I want to eat it together."

I'm sure she's worried about keeping her weight in-check.

"Right. So, will we be spending a leisurely day with just the two of us tomorrow?

As I placed the newly washed plate on the drainer and wiped my hands, I felt a slight glance. If I looked, I'm sure my wife's gaze had shifted away from the television onto myself.

"Fufufu…"

"What?"

"I'm just appy to have such a good husband."

"I just washed the dishes. You're overreacting."

"It's because I can't imagine that kind of care from the old you."

"It's because you've trained me for a long time now."

"That's right."

My wife smiled as she took a sip from her glass of wine. I glanced at her wine-soaked lips. For a moment, their smiles overlapped and I had to stifle my breath.

"Hey, can we take a bath together?"

"Didn't you just take one."

"Can't I have one more if it's with Fuutarou?"

"Don't increase the laundry so needlessly. I'm going to take a bath."

"Mu."

I left the living room, stroking the head of my childish wife.

.

Immersed in the bathtub, a sigh unexpectedly leaked from my lips.

I closed my mind and let the water melt away the fatigue from the core of my body.

I don't know if I had done the right thing in response to my wife but, whatever the case, I wasn't in the mood to be intimate.

It's not that I was bothered by her but that I didn't feel like I could remain calm next to ser.

"I'm the worst…"

I muttered to myself.

I already knew I was the worst kind of garbage out there.

It's not just bad that I kissed another woman even though I'm already married, but it's even much worse that I had hidden it so casually.

And it's the absolute worst to remember that woman's lips when looking at my wife's own.

.

I can't say which side had brought their face closer.

It is true that while watching Yotsuba's sleeping face, I had moved my own closer but it did feel like, thinking it was a dream, Yotsuba had moved her face closer as well.

It may be just my own selfish interpretation, something convient for me.

The possibility was higher.

That's what I thought.

Or was that what I wanted to think?

The only sure thing was that we had exchanged plenty of kisses.

When we touched, it ran through my spine and my whole body shook. Every time she kissed me, I noticed Yotsuba slowly waking from her dream to reality.

I knew, at some point, she had fully woken up.

Maybe, I should have stopped there.

It's just a theory. Just trivial logic.

I could say anything after the fact.

I could blame my own drunkenness.

Even though I knew I should stop, I couldn't.

Even though I knew I should stop, I didn't.

I couldn't resist, I didn't, and, it's probably the same for Yotsuba as well

It was unbearably pleasant.

Even though it was just the touches of our lips, it was a terrifying pleasure.

Was my self-control much weaker than I hoped for or was I just attacked by a pleasure that was too strong to fight against?

Either way, I succumbed to that pleasure. It's naïve of me to think I couldn't call up even a moment's of resistance to it.

.

It was an accident.

I was drunk.

A demon made me do it.

.

Such excuses won't erase that we had exchanged kisses over and over.

The only reason I pulled back was not because I was driven by guilt or that my control had returned, but because I needed to exhale, my body asking for oxygen. It was purely natural instinct.

When I had checked the watch, it had only been five minutes.

The only other person I could compare it to was my wife. I couldn't say if that was short or long but I could remember the regret.

It was fortunate we were interrupted even if it was some animalistic reason like breathing.

Because, with the regret, also came a sense of danger.

A premonition of fear that I feelings of guilt and fear would not be able to hold me back anymore if I continued.

Yotsuba's teary eyes looking up at me convinced me of such feelings.

I don't remember much what happened after that but I remember being told that I should head back.

I left Yotsuba's apartment wanting to escape as Yotsuba saw me of, as usual.

As if she could recover by doing such a thing.

Her smile was something it looked like she had forced herself to pick up and painfully connect together. I couldn't help but be angry at myself for creating such a thing.

"I'm the worst."

Once more, a sigh left my mouth.

The absolute worst that couldn't do anything but want to kiss Yotsuba.

I dived into the hot water. I closed my eyes and shook my head but behind my eyelids was an awkward smile, red-stained cheeks, and eyes that looked up at me.

It floated along but didn't disappear.

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"I'm the worst."

I kissed Uesugi-san today.

It wasn't an accident. I can't make any excuses like how a demon made me do it.

It was myself who kissed him

I thought it was a dream so I stole his lips without hesitation. As long as I could have thought of it as a dream, my choice would have always been the same.

After all, such a desire still lurked within me.

I truly am the worst.

Uesugi-san is not only married to someone but he is an important person to her. A person that I had kissed.

Bit the worst thing was not the kissing.

Worst was that I didn't feel any guilt as I much as I was afraid.

When I had been overwhelmed by guilt, I thought that I wouldn't be able to do anything.

However, I turned on the bath, took of my clothes, turned on the washing machine, brushed my teeth, and then took a bath in a with a fragrant smell.

And, when I remembered how we kissed, instead of thinking words of apologies to his wife, I couldn't help but think,

"it felt so good…"

When I felt his touch, heat spread throughout my body.

I tried to touch my lips.

Kiss.

An act that I 've seen many times in anime and movies. I know it was a very wonderful and important act but I didn't think it'd actually feel so good.

I ignored my breathing as I kissed Uesugi-san over again and again.

I couldn't help but be fascinated by the act of simply touching lips.

What would have happened if I slipped my tongue in?

I'm sure he would have stopped.

And if he didn't?

I wasn't a child so I didn't even have to think about it.

I had no adult experience but even I knew such things.

.

"I…want to do it again…"

,

My eyes widened in surprise when I heard such words echo throughout my bathroom.

What was I talking about?

I got out of the bathtub, switched the water, and took the showerhead.

"Stupid! What am I thinking! Stupid!" I threw abuse and demeaned myself multiple times. I yelled as louly as I could.

I splashed water harshly on my body

I needed to let go of such ridiculous thoughts that floated within the heat in my body. However, the fire that spread all over my body didn't come out at all.

When I closed my eyes, I saw it clearly.

Uesugi-san's face overlooking me.

His cheeks were read and he had a gentle look on his face as if he was treating a lovely broken object.

There's no way I could forget such a thing.

"Uesugi-san…"

My cheeks grew hot which made me realize that I was crying.

They were neither happy tears nor sad tears.

I couldn't fool anyone anymore.

"Uesugi-san…I love you…"

The feelings that had been continuously searching for an exit grew too much to fit within me and overflowed.

I felt like there was no turning back.

TN: I'm pretty sure that wasn't a masturbation euphemism.