Disclaimer: I own neither the characters nor the series. The original サヨナラを教えて series is owned by FOOO嘉
I couldn't stop smiling.
In front of me, the person I loved stuffed the cake I made into his mouth.
It's an amazing feeling to have the person you liked eat food you made.
Of course, I've been cooking for my sisters for a long time now and that too made me happy when I saw how they all enjoyed it. But there will always be something different between family and your favorite person.
"Well?"
"Oh, it's delicious."
Fuu-kun nodded while chewing the piece in his mouth. It was a surly and blunt compliment but one I knew wasn't a lie compared to the smiling faces others other men would say. I had asked the manager if I could rent the kitchen to taste test some prototypes and he allowed it.
I also didn't have a shift today so I could take my time.
Abuse of power? Of course.
"Hey! Don't just say the same thing every time!
"Then don't ask someone with a poor palette to do this."
His slightly sulking face was unbearably cute. There were also occasions when he would show a face like a naughty child which I also found exciting. Gap Moe.
"If you want constructive criticism, there's someone who is better than me."
"Itsuki is no good." Fuu-kun spoke up, not hiding his intentions at all. Well, Itsuki was also a well-known reviewer so it's not like she wasn't entirely suitable but… "Well, her stomach's gotten big lately."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"So, it's finally happened..."
"Yes, finally…"
Unless you're into sports like Yotsuba or go on a daily jogging routine like Ichika than it goes without saying that, once you graduate high school the opportunities to move your body around drastically decreases. She may not have realized it but I'm sure Itsuki was grateful for those Physical education classes.
"I think it would be better if she stopped her stress eating, or at least, eating as a hobby."
"That's what I told her, as well."
During exam periods, when chances to exercise decreased in favor of studying, things became too dangerous. She ate to regain the energies for the body. She ate to relieve the stress accumulated from studying. Then she ate to take a break from studying.
Everyone had faces going "That's dangerous…"
"Did she finally realize it?"
"Different. She knows but she tries to ignore it."
It's not like she hasn't made her own efforts through sit-ups and yoga.
However, in the end, it's simple mathematics. By subtracting the calories used to the calories consumed, you can lose weight if the difference is negative and then gain if it's positive. If you did a few sit-ups and an hour of yoga, eat five cups of rice, and lost weight, every girl in the world would be angry.
"That's no good at all then."
"That's why you're here, Fuu-kun."
"I'm your drug tester than."
"Excuse me! There's no drugs in that!"
"Hm…"
"I don't have any!"
I knew that he still skeptically looked at cups of tea when I served it. Now, I couldn't help but feel slight regret for doing something like that. Even if the past me was right in doing so, the current me is just as right for wanting to slap her for doing such a thing.
A girl could be selfish that way.
"That was forever ago."
"Its was two years ago."
"It's already been two years ago."
"If you had doubled the amount, I'd be completely knocked out."
"The second time was your fault because you had no sense of crisis, Fuu-kun."
The truth was even though he was smart he was also a dumbass.
"Oy, that's the same kind of thinking a molester has blaming his victim for wearing a short skirt."
"Well if you're so worried, I can give you my sleeping pills. I know you're a good man that can be trusted."
"And how do I benefit from that?"
"You can make love to me when I'm asleep."
As for me, I'm open to anything.
"That's not a benefit, at all. That's definitely more a lose than a win."
"Aren't I the one who is going to lose something?
"What are you going to…ah, don't answer that."
"Like my chastity."
"You didn't have to tell me, did you? I've thought about this for a while but you really need to hold back more."
"There are no breaks in love."
"So barbaric…"
"I'm just joking..."
"It wasn't funny."
"I'll be staying awake during the first time, of course."
"Are you kidding with me?"
"…"
"Oy."
My dream was to be Princess carried to a bed while being gently kissed by my prince. It is in such situations that I've had delusions involving Fuu-kun several times.
"Here, try eating this."
I passed another cake to Fuu-kun who gave it a quick look over. It was a pound cake topped with plenty of oranges. I was pretty confident in it.
He stared at it blandly before turning back to me.
"I'm the only one here. Call the others."
"Everybody's busy."
"Don't talk for other people so leisurely."
"Well, Itsuki goes without saying. Ichika is away on shoot while Miku and Yotsuba are at their part time jobs.
In truth, I chose a bad day for everyone. I didn't want them to get in the way.
Our time alone together was valuable to me as Fuu-kun's part time job was now over since we graduated from high school and went to different courses. After all, I should have spent more time with him back then. In hindsight, I may have been lucky enough that we ended up friends without being disliked. Then again, it's exactly because of such things that I fell for him in the first place…
"If it's Yotsuba, she'll be leaving early today so she could come over if I call her right now."
My thought flow was interrupted by the name he spoke of…
"Why do you know that?"
I knew about Yotsuba's part-time job through our LINE group but haven't heard about what he was talking about. Unexpectedly, a sharp voice came out when I asked.
"She told me yesterday."
"What."
"We had hot pot at her place yesterday. It was when you switched shifts."
What was he talking about?
At home? Him? He was in Yotsuba's room?
"What the hell!"
The back of my chest grew hot and I yelled in a loud voice.
"What happened?"
The fire grew even hotter as I noticed how he tilted his head, confused. It was a reaction that was different from someone with a crush or was embarrassed.
The heat felt like mushy magma.
"What were you doing at Yotsuba's house?"
"Hot pot."
"Was anyone else there?"
"No."
"Ha!?"
Wait a second. Did that mean they were alone?
"Why are you getting angry?"
"Are you saying I shouldn't be angry!?"
Holding up a fork, he looked at me with questioning eyes.
I knew that Yotsuba and Fuu-kun often met. It was because their universities were close to each other. That's why I've heard that they would eat out if they had the time.
To be honest, I'm very jealous of such a situation but I knew that Yotsuba had also been the first to favor him and they were just good friends. Unlike me, who I thought was natural for Fuu-kun to be kind to Yotsuba who accepted him from the beginning.
The cheerful and honest Yotsuba who followed Fuutarou much like a puppy and who he treated as such. Even though we were jealous of it, we all accepted that they were close friends and had a brother and sister relationship.
Because we all loved Yotsuba.
Although,
"Oh, this taste is something Yotsuba would like."
I felt the bottom of my stomach simmering from the words that leaked out of Fuu-kun's mouth as he ate the orange pound cake.
Are you spending time with him just by chance?
Did you spend so much time with him he thought of it as natural?
.
My favorite Yotsuba. My cute little sister.
Even though it was Yotsuba, I thought at that moment…
.
What a…
Wednesday. 2 p.m.
Because it's early afternoon on a weekday, the shops were still sparse of people.
The sunshine from the window of the cafe felt warm on my skin and, on most occasions, I would probably have fallen asleep immediately.
Right now, I didn't feel sleepy at all.
"Did you need to wear that?"
What he pointed to was the black hair that reached to my waist thanks to the wig I had on. Equipped with glasses, it was the perfect disguise. And yet, Fuutarou-kun only gave me a stinking look.
I sighed.
I thought he had become more mature and cooler but it seemed he still didn't understand a girl's heart. We can't usually meet up, right? Now that we have some time alone together, you should know I didn't want to be disturbed. You can guess what I'm feeling, can't you, Fuutarou-kun?
I had to wonder if it was still too difficult for him.
He's super excellent at his academics but when it came to girls her was inferior to most first graders.
"I'm a pretty popular actress, right?"
"That's right. You put on a great show, Tamako-chan."
"Cho!"
Kuuu…I glared at him as he chucked to himself.
However, I already knew that he wasn't the type to be easily frightened by a girl. He's been like that since all the way back, a boy who treated girls calmly or with a hint of mischief.
"Yes, it's been a while since you've died, hasn't it?"
"What are you saying?"
Even till now, he still teased about how I made my debut.
I was still a beautiful and intelligent older sister character, right? I had a lot of female fans too. I'm often told that they wanted to be an actress because of me.
"Intellectual…that's a real lie there." he muttered to himself while drinking a cafe au lait with plenty of sugar.
"Are you calling me an idiot, Fuutarou-kun?"
"What can I say? I'm really impressed. My stupid idiot student who was so stupid she dropped out of high school, went on to admirably pursue her dream, and now can is acting smart."
In the end, he said something awful. Well, I did cause him a bit of trouble at the time. Just a little.
I purposefully turned away with a distanced look in my eyes.
"You're right, I'm an idiot! I'm really an idiot after all! Onee-chan is starting to cry!"
"Stop that! You're going to make a scandal!"
"I've been doing my best serving you since high school and now you're throwing me away!?"
"Wasn't I the one helping you sisters?"
"After you've played with my body? Even though on the trip, I was treated like a mistress, called a liar, and then thrown away like garbage."
I bought him everything he wanted, fed him a lot of meals, and yet he threw me away like a rag. It may be a bit too much of a story but I found it acceptable.
"Stop twisting the facts. Also, I already apologized for that, didn't I?"
Of course, I remembered it well.
That I met him in Kyoto seven years ago wasn't a lie. Even now, I can clearly remember how he apologized sincerely for it. For Fuutarou-kun, playing together cards that night was a precious memory, as well. Knowing that, it was hard for me to endure holding back.
"Ahh. I'm going to cry in front of the press."
"Don't throw away your life as an actress."
"If that happens, I'll have you take responsibility."
"I can only make a guess so I'll ask you once. Responsibility meaning…"
"Permanent employment."
I was too shy to tell Fuutarou-kun to make me his bride.
Of course, the meaning was the same, but it's different actually saying it.
"As expected…"
"I'm going to then become a full-time housewife. You can get a job, right?"
I really wanted to become a highly sought-after actress, earn a lot, and give him a life that he didn't have to be as reckless and workaholic as he used to be. But if he became a hard-working employee, I'm sure Fuutarou-kun will surely work as hard as he could for me.
Just needed to be careful he didn't work too hard or his cute wife will need to give him a massage after he comes home tired.
"You shouldn't put so much pressure on a freshman in university…in the first place, let's show a little more regret before leaving the actress industry."
"It's a matter of priority."
"Isn't your top priority becoming an actress?"
"What do you think?"
I leaned my head and looked upwards. It was a pose I often did when shooting for magazines that was said to be the angle I looked the most beautiful.
Fuutarou-kun turned his eyes away while playing with his bangs. Fufufu, how shy.
"Don't return a question with a question."
"'It's because I'll then say something that's obvious."
What was my first priority?
To become an actress is my dream, of course, but if Fuutarou-kun wanted to marry me, and he said he didn't want me kissing or hugging other men in movies, than I didn't mind quitting.
"I don't think you've changed…I thought you grew up."
"Hmm~ Where were you looking at when you thought that I had grown up? Can you tell One-san?"
"You old man. I was talking about your acting. I saw you as that teacher in a movie the other day."
As I was trying to lean forward so he could peek at my chest that had grown since high school, I got hit by an unexpected counter.
"...Fufufu~ You're watching me."
He wasn't the type to be interested in movies or dramas at all. That meant he went out of his way to watch it on purpose to see me. I'm sorry, but I'm very happy.
My face felt hot and years of being an actress didn't help the muscles on my face go dumb. It was a loose face not meant for an actress.
"Yotsuba was even crying."
The heat pulled back in an instant.
"...Yotsuba?"
"She started sniffling in the middle of the story. I couldn't do anything but lend her a handkerchief to for that idiot's nose."
Fuutarou-kun spoke of her like a child who needed handholding. His smile looked troubled yet happy.
"You went to see it with Yotsuba?"
"Ah."
I knew Yotsuba and Fuutarou-kun had been meeting since they became university students. I also knew they ate together often because their universities were close-by. Such a topic appeared in the LINE group, and as I was the one who had the hardest time meeting him the most among my sisters, it made me very jealous.
"No matter what role you're in, we'd buy a movie ticket and check out the drama."
"Yeah…"
Yotsuba was spending too much time with Fuutarou-kun.
That's right, they're friends. They've been friends for a long time. Of course, we all knew that Yotsuba was the first girl who met Fuutarou back in Kyoto. That's why when Fuutarou appeared as a tutor, she was the only sister among us who was friendly to him from the beginning.
Yotsuba has also been helped by Fuutarou-kun in many things outside of studying. He was something more than a friend or a partner. Because Yotsuba was bright and pure, Fuutarou-kun also immediately allowed her into his mind. We sisters also thought the same about her.
Because we all loved Yotsuba.
"That girl really doesn't change."
"…"
.
But in front of Fuutarou-kun who happily talked about Yotsuba
Even though it was my favorite Yotsuba, I thought at that moment…
.
What a…
You took too much time answering this."
"I was thinking hard."
I thought that I had gotten used to it in high school but it was still embarrassing to find an answer sheet marked full of x's. However, other concerns filled my mind such as how I smelled sweaty or how my hair was messy how when he whispered our shoulders touched. It wasn't even possible to think whether my face was hot because of embarrassment or something else.
"I told you. First, you need to be able to get through all of it in time. If a part is taking a while, then you can come back to it later."
His low sweet voice passed through my ear and sent shivers down my back. I endured the feeling of twisting from him.
Since we're at the library, one must refrain from speaking loudly after all. Compared to a high school library, the public one required us to keep our voices as quiet as possible. So, naturally, he could only talk to me by sitting shoulder to shoulder and whispering.
Therefore, such a thing couldn't be helped.
"If I don't read it properly first, I won't be able to decide if it will take a long time to answer or not."
"That's already time consuming enough for you. You should take a note from Ichika. Yotsuba…never mind. Just read up the point that matters."
His words sent a wave of nostalgia through my chest. He had only been our tutor until last year. It would be a lie to say that this sort of distance between us wasn't common at the time. I couldn't help but be impressed at my past self who was able to work hard on her studies if her heart had been beating back then as badly as mine did now.
I needed to concentrate
I met up with Uesugi-kun for the first time in a while so that I could ask some help in my studies. It would be a waste of time if I didn't spend it meaningfully. Plus, it'd be rude to him, as well, who I asked help from.
I gathered back focus and put my attention on the quiz he had created for me.
The focus is on problems that can't be solved within the time limit.
"I'm really not used to this."
By looking through the problem set, I worked through the problems that I could solve first and then left the ones that I couldn't do for the remaining time. I'm still not good at these sorts of simple techniques, basic knowledge that most people know and take for granted when taking a test.
When I took an exam before, I dealt with half of it with memorization thanks to Uesugi-kun's Spartan-like training. However, I struggled in taking my university exams which had more writing and short-essay questions.
If this was to be expected then it would be dangerous to earn credits as it is.
"I thought you've gotten better, but you're still the same as usual."
"How rude! I'm still growing properly!"
"Just what is?"
He gave me a reproachful glance.
"Ah, that is…"
"Kuku~"
The edges of his mouth lifted into a nasty grin.
"Ah, you laughed…you're laughing."
"Kukuku…"
I couldn't stand it as laughter started leaking out of his mouth. My face was terribly hot.
Even though it was a terrible thing to laugh at, I was oddly conscious of his laughter.
.
"You're not used to it? When you were Rena, it was normal."
It was when I met him at the park or how we talked in the department store.
We were discussing how my style of speaking sometimes switched up between my own , which I used for Rena, and the one I had grown up using, my mother's.
"It's a Yotsuba imitation."
Although I named myself Rena, I was pretending to be Yotsuba who had met Uesugi-kun in Kyoto seven years ago. I acted with such a thing in mind. Since Yotsuba changed the least when we met Uesugi-kun, I was able to pretend I was her even if I wasn't good at acting anyways.
In the first place, there was no difference between any of us at the time plus I was only working to remember myself rather than pretending to be Yotsuba.
"Is it because you were imitating your mother every day or…." Uesugi-san trailed off his next words, leaving them undecipherable.
"You said something."
"I won't say it because you'll be angry if I do."
"I won't be angry…so tell me."
"I'm not sure if it's because you imitated your mother too much or you just can't do basic language or if you're just a clumsy idiot.
"You…!" W-what a rude person! I knew that. Yes, I always knew that.
"Be quiet in the library."
"Ugh...you just wanted to call me an idiot."
"That's why I didn't want to say it."
"Absolutely…there's no other way…it can't be helped." [Rena style of talking-Itsuki style]
At that time, I was chasing after my mother's back. I wanted to be a woman like my mother and so I acted like her as much as I could trace in my memories. I changed the way I spoke, the way I behaved, the things I wore. Before I realized it, such a personality had become so ingrained in my body that I had to force myself to recall [past elementary me].
"There are many opportunities to use honorifics in part-time jobs." placated Uesugi-kun. Of course, mother's style of talking emphasized honorifics.
What I wanted to call my own didn't but in the end, it was still hard.
I sighed, "My path to rehabilitation is far and steep."
When I'm dressed in Rena, I have a clear sense of the act I'm playing but when I'm normally dressed such as right now, it doesn't go as well. Like I said, I'm currently in the middle of rehabilitation to "behave like myself".
"It's fine. I'm more familiar with that one anyways. It's still like you."
"My impersonation of my mother is…still like me?"
I remembered trying to be like mother and trying to live up to what I built her as in my head. When I met Uesugi-kun, I parted with the past self chasing the shadow of my mother.
That i still had trouble letting go...
"Don't sulk. You know what I meant by that..."
Of course, I understood he didn't mean it, but I still felt depressed I couldn't behave like I wanted to.
Then there was only one solution.
"If you don't tell me, I wouldn't know. Please use words."
I lightly turned away, pouting. It might be fine to spoil myself a little. He was the one who taught me that when I got depressed, I could ask him to indulge me like this.
"You definitely know what I'm talking about."
"Nope. Because I'm stupid and clumsy, if you don't say it clearly, I won't be able to get it." I emphasized each insult he threw at me, with a small twist of my body.
Uesugi-san looked troubled, and not just because my ahoge poked him.
Averting his eyes, he opened his mouth.
"…You've been working hard to become your mother for the sake of your sisters. So you don't need to rush to try to fix the way you say honorifics-So, I'm sorry."
In an expected sign of shyness, he played with his bangs. His figure, embarrassed but still trying to do his best to finish his words for my sake, how can I say it, is very cute.
I'm pleased.
"Ufufu. It seems Uesugi-kun has become quite honest."
"I'm honest enough."
"Heh~"
That was the first I've heard of it.
"I just want to say that you're the one who started it all and came over to me."
"That may be true, but you're the one had no delicacy in saying that the amount I ate made me fat, right?"
"That's right. Actually, you have no amount."
"Well, I won't deny that I do tend to eat a little bit more rice but...don't look away!"
"No, I heard from Nino. That's dangerous."
"That's why I'm doing my best!"
"Do you best…hmm."
"Where did you look just now?!"
Right now, he definitely glanced at my stomach.
The stomach who has been picked up by Nino recently!
The stomach that shouldn't be able to be picked up!
"Well, let's study."
"Hold it!"
He turned to me and sighed. It was a very familiar look that he directed whenever he thought we were idiots. It was a look that he had directed at me that often was the source of our quarreling.
Perhaps, over time, it had become something more, something he reserved only for me.
That thought made my face quite hot.
"Why don't you go running with Yotsuba from now on?"
"To go with her running, it's just too high a hurdle."
I had thought of his proposal before but running along with Yotsuba who had won a championships in high school felt like something beyond the range of jogging for diet purposes.
However, Uesugi-kun sent me another familiar look, eyes that had given up on me. It was similar to a teacher's who was about to scold a child for doing something bad.
"There's no need to worry. You know she'll be waiting for you."
"Is…that right?"
"I'm sure that she'll be happy to know that she can help you."
I was surprised. His voice had become very warm.
"Even today, she was worried that you would be stuck the whole day studying.
As if remembering something, his eyes narrowed and his gaze unfocused as if he was looking to a far-off distance.
"Uesugi-kun…"
He seemed to be looking at someone far away who wasn't here.
"Uesugi-kun is quite friendly with Yotsuba."
His heart was filled with kindness that was directed to someone other than me.
"What is it?"
"No…it's…nothing."
My mind was suddenly overwhelmed by the fact that his eyes were directed to Yotsuba and not to me. Even though I'm so close to him, I turned my face away from Uesugi-san whose eyes were gentle as he thought of my sister.
I already knew that Yotsuba had spent a lot of time with Uesugi-kun. It was inevitable with how we all split off how close they were to each other. I should have known there was a special bond between the two than anyone else
Still, when I thought about how Yotsuba could bring such a look out of him, I noticed that I had started biting my lips.
.
Oh, mother, I'd become a bad girl.
I wondered what I thought of Yotsuba who I cherished so much.
Although she was an important family member, even if she was an important older sister,
And yet, I thought for sure…
.
What a…
Why did you buy so much?"
"?"
"No, what are you making for dinner?"
"Yeah."
"Do you really need this many ingredients?"
With a shopping bag in one hand and Fuutarou on the other, I truly felt like a newly-married woman. We had finally gotten back to his apartment after walking side-by-ide, arms carrying grocery bags. My heart warmed at the thought and I decided that I wanted to always go shopping together after I got married.
"I want to cook a lot."
Not only dinner. I wanted to stay over if possible and, of course, also cook his breakfast and lunch for tomorrow, as well. As I wondered if I could stay overnight, I noticed Fuutarou holding different food.
What happened? I looked up to see his face twist in distress.
Surely, this was the face of a warlord who had realized how defeat was inevitable.
"Fuutarou?"
"…Am I a test subect?
"That's a horrible thing to say. I came all this way to cook dinner."
His face when I said such a thing became worse. Stop looking like you've given up.
You should know that I'm much better than before.
"I want at least something delicious."
"The hurdle Fuutarou set seems too low."
Weren't you the one who initially finished my burnt omurice and called it delicious next to Nino's? Well, I'm still grateful to your low hurdle because I've learned to enjoy cooking from it.
"Fufufu"
I couldn't help but laugh as I remembered something so nostalgic. Fuutarou still had a strange face though but I ignored it. Inspired by such memories, I decided to make omurice today.
I opened the refrigerator, the list of ingredients already at the back of my head (egg, rice) when…
"What's this?"
"Can't you see? Water."
Certainly, there were two tea bowls that looked like they were bought from a 100-yen shop on a shelf of the refrigerator door. Both contained a clear liquid. According to Fuutarou's words, that liquid was water.
"This isn't mineral water, right?"
It's an obvious question but I needed to ask.
"It'd be foolish to pay for water."
After all…a sigh left my mouth. Fuutarou was the same as usual.
No, I felt like he had gotten even worse since high school when he at least drank water from the water fountain.
"I'm just going to say this now…raw water is bad for your body so you should at least heat-."
"I don't pay for gas either."
"Mou."
You could at least put in a pack of tea.
But it's fine. The refrigerator also contained vegetables. I mean, it only contained vegetables. And it's a bit surprising, that they were all already cut up and sealed in Tupperware. They all looked to be beansprouts.
However, I was couldn't help but be slightly worried by the orange jelly sitting at the back of the refrigerator.
Ignoring the tea (tap water) that Fuutarou had left inside, I poured tea from a paper pack into two mugs and took a quick glance around Fuutarou's apartment.
In the Japanese-style room with tatami mats, there were two cushions. Television…after all, there was none. Bookshelves were stocked with school material and scholarly books. It was cute that a "Ways to be a teacher" was stuffed in between.
My gaze finally landed on a lightly folded up futon which I immediately averted.
I couldn't help but get fidgety thinking how Fuutarou slept on it. If I was alone, I might have dived into it right now and whole-heartedly inhaled the scent of Fuutarou.
"Hey, let's live together in this apartment."
"Did you come here just to say that?"
"But it was one of my objectives. Of course, I wasn't lying when I said I came to cook."
Because if you agreed, it'd be better than taking it out of the fridge. I'd serve it with a delicious cup of green tea along with the delicious hot food.
"A man and a woman who aren't lovers shouldn't share a room."
"I'd be fine being your lover. We don't need to do a room share and instead just live together. You don't need to rent that big a room."
"You've completely lost sight of your purpose coming here…"
What are you talking about?
The objective hasn't changed. The goal was to stay with Fuutarou all the time.
Becoming a lover or living together with him were means to an end.
"You didn't tell me you lived alone."
"Dad happened to find this cheap place nearby."
Originally, Fuutarou's commute was long and he mostly walked.
That's not it.
That's not what I wanted.
"You're being evasive, you know?"
"Calling me Overly-self-conscious-kun?"
"I'll have you know, this time, I'm absolutely aware of it too."
"You sisters are hurrying with your lives too quickly."
"What do you mean?"
"You all should learn to not rush things." Fuutarou rubbed his shoulder. "I don't know about love because I'd never been in love before. Besides, I've had to choose from the five best idiots out there and don't know what to tell the other party after."
"I've waited long enough."
We didn't need a reply until we graduated from high school. That was the arrangement between us sisters.
That was our request, no, order to Fuutarou at that time.
Even if he already decided on his answer, we wanted to make sure we all graduated and decided on the course we wanted to do in life.
Of course, it was completely selfish thing to do, placing him in such circumstances, however, it was also true that we weren't confident.
What if we had been rejected at the time of the entrance exam? Wouldn't it be impossible?
I, at least, had no confidence such a thing wouldn't affect me. I'm sure it would be sad. I'm sure it'd be painful, enough that you wanted to run away and hate everything.
Everyone said that I've become stronger but I'm not quite that strong yet.
"I wanted to go to university with Fuutarou."
"How stupid. It's too late now."
"If so, then I'd always be with you."
It was a heartbreaking pain just to imagine Fuutarou at university talking with a girl I didn't even know the face of. Well, even if I'm not his lover or anything, I still hated the idea of the boy I liked talking to other girls.
No, it's not like that.
I just hated that I couldn't do anything about it.
Really, I didn't like it when he's talking with the female clerk at the clothes' shop, even with the manager of the bakery.
Even if I understand it's just customer service.
I only wanted you to look at me.
I don't like you having a cup of tea with Ichika, having a part time job with Nino, or even tutoring Itsuki.
I hated that you spent time with other girls than me.
"I wish I could attend Fuutarou's school."
"That won't happen."
"But if I did…"
"Miku, while your academic abilities have improved, it's impossible that for you to go the same school as I do." Fuutarou's words were sharp. "It's because someone like you who only started properly studying in your second year. I've sacrificed everything else to get to where I am."
I knew that. Fuutarou is a clumsy and hard work who put himself headfirst into his studies at the expense of his relationships with others.
And, because of that, no one could notice the attraction of Fuutarou until he met us. There was no person who would have become his lover so I felt like it was truly fated.
Basically, it was his own effort that got him into such a high-level university and we were fortunate enough to benefit from such effort.
However, some things couldn't always be divided equally.
Some things were just couldn't be split.
"Actually, it was Yotsuba who told me that Fuutarou was living alone."
"Ah, that's because she's close-by. There are many opportunities for us to talk."
"Yeah."
That wasn't all.
I knew. Fuutarou and Yotsuba had always been together since they became university students.
Yotsuba also made sure to properly report to everyone and not hide Fuutarou away or made sure he didn't get close to another girl at his university.
She knew our feelings. She supported us.
But sometimes, I couldn't help but feel anxious.
The way Yotsuba would innocently embrace Fuutarou and how he would then accept her company so naturally.
I noticed it.
The tangerine jelly that was in the refrigerator since a while ago.
The orange jelly, that was vividly present in the refrigerator filled with only vegetables and tap water, was extremely distinctive.
A jelly with plenty of orange.
The same kind Yotsuba liked.
I wonder why there was jelly Yotsuba liked.
Was it something Yotsuba, who visited previously, had forgotten?
Or did he buy it for the next time Yotsuba would come over?
Which could it be?
No, both choices were fine.
No, I didn't like either.
"Miku?"
Fuutarou sent me an anxious glance.
.
What kind of face was I wearing now?
What kind of jealous face did I make for the precious sister I loved?
I couldn't help myself.
Even if I was this close to Fuutarou right now, Yotsuba had already melted into Fuutarou's daily life.
.
What a…
.
.
.
""""What a cheating bitch.""""
.
.
.
.
Suddenly, I woke up.
From the car window, I saw the clear white snow falling.
I felt cold just pressing my cheek against the window. The cool feeling was comfortable and my head lightly bobbed from the car's continuous movement.
Speaking of which, today we were heading over to grandfather's inn for the New Year Holidays. It had actually become quite a regular tradition. During New Year, the Nakano and Uesugi families would stay at the hot springs.
It was only for a couple of nights. While I was happy to meet my sisters once more, nowadays, I'm also grateful in terms of being able to heal the fatigue that came from my work.
When I thought of such a thing, I couldn't help but feel like an old lady. I'm sure if I told my husband he'd find such thoughts funny.
.
Because I had been sleeping in an uncomfortable position, the side of my neck hurt when I moved it. I then felt a weight on my left shoulder.
Looking at the head resting on, it was easy to confirm how it was my sister with how she had a sleeping face like my own.
The comfortable vibration of the car combined with life's daily fatigue must have caused her to fall asleep too.
Although, we've completely grown-up, the appearance of when we were younger came back to mind by watching her sleeping face.
I involuntarily smiled.
.
As the car continued moving along, I started to recall the dream I had.
A dream when Uesugi Fuutarou still wasn't my lover. After that stage of my life was over, tutors and students, classmates, partners, and other such relationships disappeared which left us less chance to meet. Our time together was much more valuable than when he had been teaching as our tutor and I could remember how my heart had started beating louder and louder.
I'm sure he didn't notice it.
My excitement had been at max and-.
"-san"
"Kuku,-."
"Shi shi shi."
A faint laughter cleared my still groggy mind.
I looked to the front of the car to see my husband and, one of my sisters, Yotsuba talking happily.
That's right. It was normal for the second driver to sit in the passenger seat so that the first one had someone to talk to and wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel.
At first, I had wanted to sit there but because I was sleepy due to the year end's work, I had Yotsuba fill in for me. She was the one among all of us with the best stamina plus her bright and lively personality would be the perfect companion for the boredom of any driver to stave away drowsiness.
The two were talking in a lower volume to make sure not to wake the others up.
"It's snowing quite hard."
"It didn't show any signs back at Christmas. Yet it had to happen on our trip."
"But it'd be great to take an open-air bath in the middle of a snow fall."
"I can see my dad doing that, enjoying sake as the snow fell."
"We're drinking anyways. You can go ahead and join him."
"That's what I'm afraid of."
I agreed with that.
My father-in-law liked to drink and even regularly took sake into the open bath onsen. Whether he inherited it in his blood or not, his son also loved to drink alcohol as well. However, he was quite serious about it compared to his father, even only drinking in moderation at the house.
As for me, I secretly wanted to see his appearance after sake had fully removed his inhibitions.
"Oh, message from Raiha-chan!"
"What is it?"
"Well…[Dad already started drinking. Sake snow-viewing.]"
"My hunch was correct."
"Amazing, Uesugi-san."
"Who do you think you're dealing with?"
"Shi Shi Shi Shi Shi."
"Why are you laughing at what's going to be another person's problem? Namely my own."
My father couldn't come this time due to work. Naturally, besides my father-in-law, my husband is the only man who could take care of my drunken father-in-law. Hopefully, Raiha-chan could also handle the reigns.
"Okay, let's calm down and eat some oranges."
"Geez."
"Here."
"Mm."
Yotsuba then brought the mandarin oranges she had peeled and carried it to his mouth.
I couldn't help but stare at it. I don't know the reason myself."
"This is delicious."
"Right? They're sweet and tasty."
"Give me another."
"Haai!"
Unaware of my gaze, Fuutarou loosened his cheeks and promptly opened his mouth. As a matter of fact, Yotsuba looked happy feeling the oranges to him.
"Nn."
Perhaps, because they were too busy looking at the road ahead, her fingers had too much momentum and slightly slipped into his mouth.
Even though it was supposed to be an accident, I found it hard to breathe.
Yotsuba laughed softly then gently pulled back her finger
A thin thread was connected between her finger and his mouth.
For a moment, Yotsuba glanced down on her finger, picked up a mandarin orange, and quickly ate it
A stared at the sight in front of me.
.
Outside the car window, the wind roared and the falling snow grew into an icy blizzard.
TN: so far my favorite chapter. The character interactions are really fun. Now pick your choice of wife for the last part and strap on.