I am putting of my hw and doing terrible life choices because I am too full of anxiety to do what I actually need to. Like contact my councilor about the TA position I was offered and have probably lost by now because it's been over 2 months or my hw because i'm scared to actually animate/render and do what I need to in the event i'm actually terrible at it and oh god i'm legit having a nervous breakdown. I can't stop crying. I'm a terrible person... anyway enjoy this chapter. I'm writing an actual book too btws that will be a very different and expanded on version I'll see you when it rains because the teacher who offered me the TA thought the play version should be a legit novel and I figured why the fuck not.
It was Ba'ul's cry that pulled Judith from the others and her explanation. Her feet scrape over the mountain where she sees the Hunting Blade members Nan and Tison.
The hooded man sneers as he looks at Judith's spear and posture. "It looks like we've found our mark."
"You will not pass."
Judith will not let them take the person who matters most to her.
The girl turns her nose up only for her face to fall when she spies Karol running along with the others to Judith's side. "The Krytian I expected, but you Karol! You of all people!"
Karol flinches, loosening the grip on his ax. "I… Nan, Entelexeia aren't evil!"
"You're a fool. All monsters are the enemy of the Hunting Blades."
"Please, listen to reason!"
Raven sets a hand on Karol's shoulder, shaking his head. "Don't waste yer breath. They're on a job. No way they'd listen to us."
The battle begins in an instance with the others at the helm. It's just two people, but they're skilled fighters and not the minions she's been fighting the past few weeks. Skill oozes from their movements as they dodge around Rita's spells and Raven's arrows.
Nan's boomerang swipes by with too much momentum for Judith to knock it back. It scrapes her side as she barely avoids the second swing. Karol charges at Nan with hulking swings that throw her off long enough for Patty to get some shots at Tison's rear while he's ungaurded. Repede circles the perimeter forcing enemies towards the melee heavy fighters.
A fireball from Rita spins out of control after the mage takes a beating from Tison's swings. She's saved by Judith's efforts as she lunges repeatedly to throw the man off. A photon spell collides with him and he's blinded and singed long as Patty fires another round his way.
The boomerang strikes once more as Karol has tackled Nan down in an attempt to make her submit. "Nan, please! I don't want to hurt you!"
The girl kicks back knocking Karol towards the cliff edge as his body skids along the ground. Raven calls out for healing power for the boy as Estelle breaks Nan's concentration on a healing arte.
Jump. Swing. Crash.
Judith keeps her movements swift and careful as she manages to get a strike. Eyes drift to Estelle who she realizes is watching her back specifically.
"Your loyalty is appreciated, but you don't need to concern yourself with winning me over."
Those soft green eyes harden as she parries Tison's attack and makes a move to kick him. "Your wounds haven't healed." Her leg is caught and blood seeps from the clawed gauntlets as Repede moves to pin him down. "I don't want to see you get hurt."
Foolish as always.
Repede bludgeons Tison unconscious with the flat of his blade. On the other side of the battlefield, Nan has been left unconscious and brutally wounded if the bruises and blood are anything to go by. Karol and Raven standing over her solemnly. His ax-blade drips blood, his feet shake, and he vomits over the cliff. Patty comforts with pats his back while Raven cuts up Nan's torn top to get a better look at the stomach wound.
Both Hunting Blades have been greatly wounded and if left on their own there's a good chance they'll die…
In a way, Judith can't help thinking they deserve it for what they've done. Even if in foolishness…
Estelle immediately sets her sites on Nan whose wounds are more severe. Her sheer stubbornness let her keep fighting well past her limits. The soft light of Estelle's artes fills the air as she closes the stomach gash and resets her nose along with a broken tooth. A great deal of care is made in Karol's work on setting Nan's twisted ankle as he mutters 'sorry' over and over like he's putting down a dog, not saving a life.
Tison's are less severe but are cared for all the same until he's as stable as Nan.
A hand sets on her shoulder and she sees Raven's icy eyes staring at her with something she's not sure of. Pity? No… sympathy? Perhaps… More understand – yes - understanding seems right. She's not sure what for, but there is understanding.
Ba'ul's cry tears through the area as light pours from the mouth of a cave. She's inside smoothing her dear friend's feather in an instance trying to provide him comfort. He must be in agony. Please, bear with it a little longer, dear friend.
"What's happening?" Estelle asks, keeping her distance,
"Ba'ul is trying to evolve...as an Entelexeia."
"Evolve?" Rita says as she stands feet from her dear friend. "What does that mean?"
"When an Entelexeia absorbs large enough amounts of aer their bodies change and evolve to fit their desires. He'll be in pain until the process is done."
Carefully, she watches the princess's action for any of her reckless helpings. Her eyes are low as she holds her head in shame. "I'm sorry… I'm poison to you. I… I'd only hurt you."
She means, well. Her heart is good, yet you'd still consider taking her life?
It's not that she wants to. Or even that Judith sees Estelle as anything close to a bad person. It's just that… that… she is a poison. Estelle will keep hurting this world recklessly if left to her own devices. She will blight it and bleed out the life of the world all in her attempts to perform good. Judith couldn't let that be even with the girl's pure heart.
But that purity, that compassion even with such great power is why she deserves to live.
There's no place for a poison in the world.
Why? Because she may cause harm among the good? I may not have traveled with you, but I understand this at least: everyone deserves to live in this world.
Another truth… but if Estelle hurt Ba'ul then… A soft croon coos in her ears to remind her what Judith knows. The wait for Ba'ul to evolve is slow and agonizing as the group gathers around the Entelexeia. Hours passed as the glow continued to grow brighter and brighter.
Come on, you can do it!
At last, the light breaks like an insect shedding its cocoon and Ba'ul form explodes in the cave. His new form is huge and glorious as it takes up the entire space. His new body is more scaly with a feathery beard and mane.
Ba'ul?
I'm still me.
Judith presses her face into her dear friend's body. She's so tiny compared to him now… She can't imagine riding Ba'ul will be very easy without tying herself down.
"I hate ta be that guy, but how about we get a change of scenery before reinforcements finally arrive."
"But, there's only one path down from here, though."
Patty smiles and points to the open the sky. "We can go up."
"Climb aboard. We can finish our chat at the Fiertia."
Judith collapsed soon as they arrived at the ship. Not even a minute on board before her legs gave way and she broke out in fever. Raven put her to bed as Estelle looked over her condition. The wounds weren't infected and her body seemed while malnourished relatively fine. She appeared to be suffering from a stress fever alone.
Good.
As she leaves Judith's room she spies Karol sitting next to the door.
"Are you thinking about Judith?"
"Yeah. I'm wondering what we should do about her." Estelle sits next to him as the boy grips his bag for assurance. "I always thought that a guild's strict adherence to its own laws was what kept it together. That there could be no exceptions, no lenience for those who would break the laws. But…"
"She did what she did to save the world. Judith is destroying blastia because she knows it's the right thing to do, even if it makes people hate her. She's willing to kill me for the sake of protecting Entelexeia and maybe even the world. She's a good person." A strong person. Willing to be the villain if needed.
"Judith didn't break our laws in order to do something bad. Just like how you offered your life because you don't want to die." Karol sighs and rubs his brow. "I wish I had that conviction… I- I hurt Nan and I wavered in fighting her because I was still unsure… I… I need conviction- no I need power. So I can make others listen to me- so I can be brave."
Estelle takes his hand and rubs circles. It's easy to forget that Karol as mature as he acts is still a kid. Still inexperienced in the world. Still lacking in that haughtiness that only comes in age to let one do anything. Estelle barely has any of it herself… but she does recognize this. The dread of feeling weak and hopeless against insurmountable odds.
"You're plenty strong."
The hand is pulled away. "A strong person would have been able to stop that fight." He stands up, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I'm not like you, Estelle. I don't have it in me to offer my life up for a cause. I'm scared of death. I've accepted that I'll make mistakes as a leader, but I don't want to accept being weak."
He skulks away towards the bow of the ship leaving Estelle on her own to wallow in dark thoughts. "But… I'm scared to die too." She sits a few minutes before deciding to walk around the ship to clear her head.
A small but calloused hand grabs Estelle, pulling her along towards the engine room instead. Once inside, the door is slammed shut with a crack, Estelle's body pinned against the wall by Rita.
"Why?"
Estelle turns her eyes away in embarrassment. "I- I- what do you mean?"
"'I will let you kill me'!" Rita hisses into her ear she pins Estelle even further. "What are you thinking! Do you wanna die? Do you?!"
Tears prick at Estelle's eyes at the mage's stare. She knows it was selfish, but she needed to prove her trust. And then… if Estelle really was a poison- if she was a threat to more than just Entelexeia… If she was a danger to the world-
"Answer me!"
"No, I don't."
"Then you shouldn't have offered." Rita snaps slapping her across the cheek and shoving her on the floor. It's the first time she can recall Rita ever being violent with her. Truly violent. How much had she hurt her friend when she said those words? "You have every right in this world to live. Just because your power could hurt others doesn't mean you will or that you'll want to hurt them."
"Estelle, you may have said you'd let Judith take your life, but I didn't." She offers her hand to Estelle and she takes it. Rita's hand digs into her skin with scorching anger. "I'm not about to let you throw away your life over something like this. So promise me you'll live."
Estelle swallows… "I-"
"Promise me!" Rita says her grip bone crushing. "Promise me Estellise, that you won't die over something stupid like this."
"But- what if I hurt you-"
"You think any of us give a rat's ass about that!" Rita's eyes are watering just barely at the corners. "Yuri knew you were dangerous the whole time, but he never saw you as anything but wonderful. Isn't that the same reason you want to stand by him despite everything?"
It is… Estelle knew long before from the circles under Flynn's eyes and the way he spoke of the man that knowing Yuri was painful. That his existence was thorny and getting close wove you into his suffering. But, he's also kind and understanding. He's complex yet simple… he's Yuri Lowell, and the moment Estelle had felt his claws dig into her hand at the sewer passage she'd known the danger. But, she still wanted to know him. Still wanted to stand by his side and care for him despite the burn that rolled in when he would skulk away to deal with his problem.
Was it the same for Rita? To Rita was knowing Estelle a constant pain that dug into her heart and entwined her into a madness called friendship? Did knowing Estelle could hurt her cause Rita pain? Was Estelle to Rita what Yuri was to Flynn? A source of companionship and anguish? A source of pleasure and dread… was she that to everyone?
A burden that everyone willingly carried out of some form of love? Then that made her no worse than dreaded villains like in her stories who played with the hearts of others. She wasn't a good person if knowing her just caused pain. How? How could Rita stand to know her and stand with her? How did people like Flynn and Rita stand surrounding themselves with monsters who brought others into suffering just by existing?
"I'm sorry." Estelle sobbed as tears fell endlessly like faux jewels from her eyes. "I must hurt you so much."
"You're worth it." Rita said wiping away the tears. Her grip falls as she sulks away to a workbench she's made home in the past weeks. "Besides, poisons are medicines, remember."
Because even in that pain there is fondness… Estelle almost forgot about that small truth. That in stories it's the ones who suffer together who prove stronger for it. She's no saint in this story. Estelle will never claim that idea. She's selfish and spoiled in this world. She grew up with every convenience and without knowing the cruelties of friendship life brought. Of what just knowing a person could entail. In many ways she was empty with only a few people to fill her mind. Rita is one of those people and in her selfishness, Estelle decides to keep her. That this mage is forbidden from leaving the place she etched so firmly in her heart. So she must do the same otherwise she is the worst kind of person.
Estelle promises to try and live. If she is killed, it be because she earned that fate.
When Judith awakens at last Estelle is already at her side changing out her bandages… It's amazing she was able to fight as well with the stomach wound she'd sustained. While mostly healed it was clear the wound had been reopened several times over. It was a gnarly scare that marred her beautiful stomach in an almost poetic way. More answers were still needed for her to understand what the Child of the Full Moon truly was. Only Judith seemed to hold them.
"I want to know the truth. All of it."
"Then I suggest we go to Phaeroh. He's the one with the real answers." Judith sighs. "I am sadly more a messenger. I could only give you half-truth at best."
"What about Ba'ul?"
"He's too young. His knowledge is limited on the matter."
From then it's a short flight over the desert landscape towards a crag high in the sky. Their feet crackle along the rock as they reach the center where the Entelexeia stands in waiting. Phaeroh's claws dig into the ground as they approach fracturing the stone below.
"Insipid poison, you appear before me at last! Have you come to repent for the sins of you've made?" An eye drifts to Judith who bows her head in shame. "Or was it because this one lost her nerve."
Steadying her shaking feet, Estelle looks into a face of death. "Phaeroh, please hear what I have to say!"
"Does death hold no fear for you, little one?" His breath is hot like a scorching volcano on her skin.
"I am afraid." Estelle grips her hands to calm her nerves. "But I'm even more afraid of dying without knowing who I really am. I understand that I am a threat to the Entelexeia. But you said that I am a poison to this world... Not just to your kind. What is this power I have? Just who is the Child of the Full Moon? I have accepted that my death might be necessary for this world."
Her hands fall to her side as she balls her fist. "But, I want to know that my death truly is what this world needs. I at least deserve to know why it is I have to die! If I'm offering I deserve that grace." Estelle drifts her fingers to her sword handle. "And if it's not one I can abide with- if it's not one I can willingly die for then I am willing to fight."
The blade slides from its sheath in a beautiful arc to the creature's face. "I don't want to die! Not without cause! Not until I rescue Yuri and stop Alexei! So, choose your words wisely!"
"I commend the fire in your heart Poison." Phaeroh arches his head up and gestures with his wings the whole of the crag. "There was a time when this was a verdant land sheltered by the blessing of an aer krene. What you see are the results of too much aer and its aftermath."
A vision of once green fields and plants dots in Estelle's eyes beyond the horizon before fading to dust. "As to why the aer ran rampant... The answer lies with the poison brought by the Child of the Full Moon. The power of the Child of the Full Moon stimulates the aer krene more than any blastia."
Rita cups her chin in thought. "Estelle must possess a formula in her very being that lets her convert aer into energy… Which causes the aer krene to become more active and pump out more aer than they should... I had hoped my hypothesis... would have been wrong..."
"With each use of her power, the Child of the Full Moon uses far more aer than the blastia. In so doing, the imbalance of aer in this world is furthered. For the planet, such an existence can only be called a poison."
"So you'd just wipe it out, then? Seems rash and stupid to me!" Rita yells.
Phaeroh leers at the small mage his mouth opening. Ready to bite her head off if he wishes. "This problem concerns the entire planet, and she is its cause. To do nothing would be unparalleled folly."
"Then, I'll fix it."
"That's right!" Patty yells from Estelle's flank.
"The gravity of this situation is beyond your grasp."
"You don't honestly think that everything's gonna be all sunshine and rainbows if Estelle dies, do you?" Rita point accusingly at him.
"It would at least eliminate one problem."
Judith steps in and tells Phaeroh of what has occurred to her people. Of the suffering and how Estelle has offered her life once the conflict is solved. Raven offers for Estelle to give up her power entirely.
"There can be no guarantee she will not break her word. Or that she will not use that power in the future."
Judith raises her bowed head to face one she holds with reverence and respect. "As long as she keeps
that spirit of compassion, she cannot only be seen as harmful. She is not like a blastia. I know that you can feel the difference. She is a person willing to die in exchange for the world. So give us time to fight back before-"
"I'm not satisfied with that!" Their eyes turn to Karol. "I understand that this is for the world- I understand that! But, you haven't even given us a chance to look for another solution. Why does the option have to kill someone like Estelle?"
"It is sometimes necessary to remove a part to save the whole."
"It doesn't have to be! If you ask me, that's the easy solution in all this! If fixing the aer imbalance caused by Estelle's power is the problem, then we'll fix that. Right, Rita?"
"Right." Rita grins.
Karol puffs up even more. "As the leader of Brave Vesperia I take on the job of finding a way to save Estelle."
"And if we can't and the world nears its limit I'll die as promised." Estelle announces.
The deal is struck down like a hammer as Rita stares in disapproval. They're told if they want an answer on the matter of the past- of when the world was in pain before to go to Myorzo. But, Yuri is a top priority, so they must search for him first.
Karol stands tall as he can next to Judith as they spy for Yuri across the sea. The Heracles has long since left Nordopolica behind. Finally, after a day of searching Judith's eyes go wide and a smile creeps on her lips.
"Seems we don't have to worry too much."
"Why?"
"He's in Myorzo."
"When we get Yuri back I want to discuss punishment for breaking the guild laws. Properly."
"I apologize, but we need to make one more stop."
"Where to?"
They set sail for Hypionia for a bell to open the gate to Myorzo. For answers and a reunion.
Raven grinds his teeth as he watches them enthuse over Yuri's apparent rescue. He's still fighting over what he must do. What he wants to do… Raven wants to live just as much as the rest.
He'd promised Hanna he'd keep an eye out for her boy, but he had no such chain regarding Estelle.
But all of this was wrong! All of it! Every last bit down to his heart were wrong. Who was he kidding with all this will to live crap? He's a dead man… But, Alexei wants her for his plan. The Commandant is not gonna stand by and let Estelle die before he can use her. It's not fair, but life is never fair to good people.
He thinks of Hanna… Of how he could have let her live. That Raven- Damuron- could have saved her life if he wasn't such a coward. Wasn't still a coward inside… He doesn't want to see another good soul suffer because of Alexei or Entelexeia.
His hands fiddle with his treasures from the past. What would they do? Well, that's a little obvious when Raven stops to think on it.
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