Felinis: okay, now I can write other shit, but still Myorzo is gonna be a clusterfuck arc and not for the reasons I intended. There is so much drama that needs to happen. Also question, anyone want art of monster Yuri? I'm considering doing it
Throbbing
Head throbbing and
Where? What?
"Shhh… It's okay. Don't move kiddo." Something was encased around his hand that was warm and soft. Flynn did his best to squeeze his hands around it but it's muted like his nerves are wrapped in sheets of broken glass and cotton. "I'm going ta get the girls so keep him still will ya."
What happened? Flynn tried to open his eyes, but everything is so bright. "Don't force yourself." Force what? What did he do? What was he doing before all this? It all hurts. It's all so loud. "How you feel?"
Flynn moans through the pain. "My head feels heavy…" His nose was burning and his mouth numb but throbbing in time with his breath. "What…?"
"Just lay still for now. You scared the shit out of us." Yuri's voice is so loud and Flynn groans at the noise. He swears he can hear a pin drop from across the room like the banging of pots and pans. A smell crawls in his nose and he swears it's the scent of rotting carcasses on a hot summers day.
A new hand reaches over and starts pulling at his face and Flynn can only assume it's Estelle given how small and delicate. "I know it hurts, but please open your eyes." Flynn does and immediately regrets the action as he forces them open against instinct. "The pupils are dilating. That's good." Bright burns!
It burns!
"Flynn, how do you feel?"
"Like shit." He doesn't need to think twice on that answer. "Burns." Flynn tries to give a more eloquent answer, but at the moment his brain feels like it's been mashed and clogged with pointed shoes.
"You're lucky." It's Rita, maybe? Everything is echoey and distorted in the back of his brain. Lucky? "That bodhi blastia you were wearing probably would have killed you if we hadn't caught it." Hmm? "The thing was emitting a frequency that was drawing in aer as well as vibrating all the molecules in your body."
"Meaning?"
"Your brain would have exploded." Well, that explained some things. He's prompted to open his eyes again and it's much easier this time around though they still water. "I fixed it, but you shouldn't even look at that thing for at least a week. Still, it did prove my hypothesis right."
Huh?
"They actually programmed these things to encase people in aer when signaled. It's got a long enough incubation period to go unnoticed for a few days before taking effect." The anger dripping in her tone rings clear as Estelle continues looking him over and asking questions. Something must be wrong with his eyes because he's literally seeing red. Red around Estelle like a cloak of shadows. "It's disgusting. Arming his men with a kill switch."
Estelle smiles and asks Flynn to repeat some simple phrases and math that he complies to easily. Her face softens as she presses her hand to his forehead as some of the tension leaves her. "No neural damage so far, but hard to say. When you've rested more I'll need you try reading and writing."
Yuri grip tightens on his hand. "Why would he need that? There's nothing wrong right?"
"Head injuries aren't always obvious. They can range from memory gaps to suddenly not being able to say or read a particular word. Aphasia is actually more common than one might realize in stroke victims."
"I HAD A STROKE?!" Flynn isn't aware he's yelling till the sound bounces back in his ears and dizzies him.
"Something along the lines." He reaches a hand towards his scalp just for some vague understanding that it's all still there but stops when his fingers feel something off. The hand tightens as Flynn drifts his own on the ridges cresting his hairline.
"What happened to me?" It comes out choked as he feels further up the path that is familiar and foreign to his fingers. "You can fix this? Can't you?"
Rita swallows her body shrinking. "You mutated with the formula. It's like I figured. It was either that or your head would burst like a grape. I can try to fix you but there's no guarantee. I'm not even sure if this can be reversed entirely, it at least can be stopped."
No! This isn't right. Flynn is normal!
"Get these things off of me!" Flynn screams as he grabs at these intrusions on his head and tries desperately to yanks them off. Arms pin him down and he ignores the calls to calm down. How is he supposed to calm down from this? Flynn is normal, and these are unnatural abominations that he shouldn't have.
"Calm down. We'll fix this. We'll deal with this." Yuri looking at him like this is wrong... Like he's sick with a cold and not suffering from these deformations. He doesn't want that! Not when Yuri looks like he does! It's wrong and Flynn hates it! "You tell me if you see anything weird or you feel funny. Okay?" He nods hesitantly and cringes at the idea of being comforted like he's in Yuri's place. It's awful and self-serving to think, but this isn't the way they're supposed to be. Flynn is normal and human. He needs that because it's how he keeps Yuri safe. How he guards Yuri against the world that sees a monster! "Good. We're going to wait for the swelling to go down some more. It'll hurt more if we cut them now then if we wait so just lay down."
It's surreal thinking that he's the same in that regard. Both of them are now freaks and outcasts in some regard. It's like a divine punishment for foolishly trusting Alexei and for letting the person dearest to him suffer.
"I want to see it." He doesn't really, but he takes the and mirror all the same.
It's not what he was expecting. They're totally different from Yuri's; instead of smooth with few bumps along the way they're lined with ridges and don't curve instead jutting straight out to a point before branching out like the branches of a tree, but softer- sweeter- shining like chrome as they sit at his temples. He notes that something is wrong with his eyes, the blue a bit unnaturally bright and his pupils not dilating like they should.
Yuri leans over and wraps an arm around his shoulder. "See it's not that bad." It's true. Compared to how Yuri is fairing Flynn is untouched and normal. "So... it's not the same as what happening to me right?"
Rita crosses her arms. "It's similar enough that you could mistake it, but no. Yuri's DNA is tearing itself apart and rewriting itself. That blastia's installed a formula in Flynn's body that until we fix that will likely blow up your brain if you try to use artes. I mean, I can probably fix that part, but the real problem lies in that while we did catch it early there's no guarantee the formula won't force his body to keep mutating. Flynn's body might even get more durable and stronger as the body changes to better conduct aer."
"That doesn't sound too bad."
"Neural contamination is still a risk. So far nothing has happened, but he's going to keep having what are basically strokes until his brain gives way, and say it with me now-"
"Explodes." They all say.
"Exactly. Even if exploding wasn't a factor the brain damage alone is enough for alarm."
Flynn thinks back on what she said before he collapsed and swallows. "Didn't you say this was contagious?"
"Yeah." Rita nods heading to the nightstand and pouring a glass of water. "You're a walking emitter. Albeit a shitty one so I'm not too worried about having anything happen to me or anyone else for now. Besides, I need to figure out how to fix you first before Alexei decides to go using this on more people." She walks up and hands Flynn the glass before grabbing his wrist and holding out a small device. "It's all the more reason to fix you first, unfortunately."
Unfortunately? Flynn drinks slowly glaring up at the mage. "Yuri you'll have to wait." She starts writing down whatever it was she observed earlier and huffs in annoyance. "I need better equipment! I can't work like this."
Rita rubs her eyes as Estelle sets her hands on her shoulders. "You get some sleep and we'll figure this out later." Any protest the mage made is silenced much to Flynn's amusement by soft rejection and a warm hug. Rita reluctantly heads off yelling at the two of them to send Estelle for a nap soon.
"What time is it anyway?" Flynn asks painfully noting the light in the windows. When everyone else had arrived, it couldn't have been later than late-afternoon and he couldn't stand it if they lost a day because.
Yuri stretched on the bed with a pop in his bones. "Don't worry, it's still pretty early in the day. Still, you are on bed rest till the foreseeable future." Flynn watched as Yuri's eyes drifted between him and Estelle before crawling off the bed and heading towards the door. "I think I'll step out a bit. You two have fun."
Just like that, it was Flynn and Estelle alone in a room.
Estelle sighs and shakes her head at the exit. "Why haven't you told him?"
Flynn plopped backward in the bed feeling the off weight of the horns on his head. "There hasn't really been a chance."
"Bullshit!" Estelle blurted and immediately covered her mouth. "Look, I don't know if you noticed, but right now everything is falling apart so fast that we could be dead in the next five minutes. In you and Yuri's case quite literally."
Flynn wanted to, but right now that was more pressure than he could think of putting on his friend. Yuri was dealing with so much shit and then there was the fact that he'd gone on his vigilante rampage. Flynn hadn't forgiven it and couldn't do so because then laws were meaningless. Justice was something that madmen like Alexei could play with on grounds of the greater good and while he understood the why Yuri was dancing on that line. He'd killed for the results and that was something that needed to be dealt with when they had the time. If they had the time! There were so many things that needed to be talked about before he says, 'I love you'.
"I wanted to ask you something." Estelle sits on the end of the bed gripping her hands. "Do you actually love Yuri?"
"Of course I do!"
"Even the part of him that's not human?" It cuts like broken glass and Flynn tries to hide the drop in his face.
Flynn's eyes water and he rubs them gently. It's not that doesn't love Yuri with all his heart. It's not that he doesn't want to love that part of Yuri, but that side has ruined and fucked with his life so much. If Yuri were normal and there wouldn't always the stress of every other moment thinking he might have an episode Flynn would have confessed already. If Yuri were normal maybe he could have gotten him to stay in the knights. If Yuri were normal Flynn wouldn't be going through half of the drama that was going on.
So no, he hated that part of Yuri. He hated a monster who Flynn worried would run off at night and had to chain to a bed. Hated a monster that took away his best friend and reduced Yuri into something helpless. Hated that Yuri was treated like a monster for what he was and not who he was when so many others vile men deserve worse! He hated watching Yuri's humanity be shredded of him like whittled to a stub.
And now, Flynn's going to suffer almost the exact same shadow of a monster that eclipses Yuri's humanity.
But, the unfortunate thing is that if Yuri had been born ordinary they might have never met. He'd never be abused by a racist nun and taken into his childhood home. He'd never have gotten to grow up alongside Yuri. Flynn hated everything about that because it meant that their friendship was linked in suffering. Yuri's suffering. Maybe his life would have been better had Yuri normal.
It was a possible heaven and a probable hell that he couldn't be sure of.
"I don't. I can't."
Estelle's fingers tense in her clasp. "Then I can't support you, Flynn."
"Why?" Why is Estelle, the one person he trusted to have his back, betraying him? Because he wants Yuri to be normal?
"Because at the end of the day that part is still Yuri. It's still my friend." Flynn sees now that something has changed in the princess he once knew. Her posture is stiff and hard; eyes sharp and ready for anything like a soldier's. Flynn had heard her confess how she planned to give her life if needed, but he hadn't realized how convicted she was on the matter. "If I couldn't accept that part of a person than it be the same as people who deny the fact that I'm not normal either or saying I like Judith but not as a Krytian."
"I can't approve if you can't love all of him."
"I love him more than anything!" Flynn hisses and stairs her down but Estelle refuses to flinch. He stands up and clenches his fists above her his blood boiling. "What's wrong with me hating how Yuri is dying because of this! What's wrong with me hating how this has fucked with his life! With my life!"
Estelle shakes her head and walks past him. "I never said you had to like it, but this something in Yuri that's never going to change. He's always going to be different and if you won't love that fact then I don't think you deserve him. Not when you were willing to hurt him that much to fix something you didn't like in him."
"It's not that simple! He's dying!" Flynn yells furiously. "You've seen what he looks like!" It didn't matter that Yuri's pulse would still be there. If Yuri couldn't talk or fight… if Yuri couldn't be Yuri, then the thing left was just a walking corpse.
"I understand but acting like you can just cut that out him is wrong," Estelle says. "He's not human Flynn. Yuri has never been human and he'll never be human the fact you can't accept that upsets me."
"I know Yuri better than anyone! I know how much he hates what he is." Flynn's eyes are watering in frustration. "Knowing that…"
"Have you realized Yuri can't walk?" Estelle is calm and smiling coldly at the statement. "I noticed that he doesn't like to stand for more than a minute before leaning on a support or lying down."
Flynn's head falls. "No, I hadn't." He remembered how Yuri had seemed glued to the bed and Flynn had chalked it up to exhaustion.
"We're going to fix him. No matter what we're going to figure all of this out and come out of this. I don't plan on dying and neither does Yuri so we're going to fight and fix this. Whether that means stopping Alexei or fixing the aer crisis we're going to fix this." There's so much grit in her eyes that Flynn didn't think Estelle could hold. "The only thing I can't guarantee is whether any of us come out whole."
No guarantee that Yuri will ever be the same in a way that Flynn can accept.
"I want to support you and forgive you for what you've done. You broke my trust and you've hurt people I care about." Estelle walks past him and stands at the door. "You were one of my first true friends Flynn and after everything that has happened I'd hate to lose you."
Her steps echo in his ears as she disappears behind the door.
"I've fucked everything up."
Raven let out not the first or likely last sigh of the day as he sat back playing cards with Karol. It's nothing to do with the kid in the slightest. The stress of all the bullshit they've been dealing with has started to catch up with him and drag him down.
"Raven?"
Hmm. "Yeah, kiddo?"
"How do you do it?" Karol asks shuffling at the cards in his hands. "How are you so relaxed?"
Raven snorts. "Is that how I seem?"
Karol nods and as Raven stretches his back. "Honestly, I'm just as stretched out as everyone else is."
"But, then how are you so- so laid back." It's a genuine question that Raven can safely say the answer is to let some other part of him deal with that. To push off that he's conflicted on everything he should do and has to do onto some other part of his ego to worry over later.
He takes a long look at the kid in front of him whose eyes have dark circles under them and his hair seems disheveled beyond hope. Raven is more than certain that Karol hasn't given himself put on a change of clothes because he's begun to see pit stains in the shirt. "A guild boss needs to be able ta smile. More importantly, a leader needs to be able ta smile if they wanna prove that everything will turn alright."
"Are you calling yourself a leader?" Karol discards two cards and throws in a gald coin.
"More of offering advice." Raven keeps his face stern because his hand is crap. Maybe he can bluff his way through this round. Who knew the kid was good at poker of all things? "Ya got Brave Vesperia to take care of now. With everything that's happening if someone here isn't smiling stupidly everyone is gonna get all sad."
Most of them are just kids who shouldn't have to deal with these burdens. He's proud that Karol has been holding on and has been strong this entire time. Being the Don's second and sticking his neck out for Estelle were big steps from the squirrelly boy he'd bumped into some time ago. Raven's proud of that fact, but he also understands that Karol has a long way to go. He's gonna be a great leader if they all live through this.
Karol's knee jerks up and down. "Acting like that won't do me any good. There's too much to do to just goof off and be dumb."
"Yer still a kid." Raven shakes his head softly. "You're supposed to have fun and be able to smile at danger."
"Hmph, I don't want to be a kid." Typical response, Raven has never understood why young people are always so quick to throw away revelry for work. Maybe because humans crave structure and routine so that it can distract people from darker thoughts? That's why he did it at the very least.
They play silently for a long time as they wait for Patty to wake up or for something to spring them back into motion. There's been so little peace that frankly the entire group isn't sure how to act.
"Hey, Raven?"
"Yeah?"
"You're a spy, right?"
Raven drops his cards. "I- I- what makes ya think something crazy like that?! Old Raven here is as innocent as a field of flowers!"
Karol snorts. "It was what you said about the sword stair earlier. Then I remembered during the blockade you distracted those knights in a funny way." Karol leaned back on his arms on the tile floor. "I kept thinking about how you were in the Great War and other little things. You're really good at acting and stuff."
Raven's face hardens as he debates what to do. The part of him that's Shwann says to kill the kid and run off with the princess. His fingers drift idly to the knife on his side as he plans his act from here. He didn't think the kid would call him out so easily.
"I don't mind."
Huh?
Karol shrugs. How is this kid so calm? It reminds him too much of when the Don called him out on it. "I don't mind. Just don't betray us if you can help it."
"You're asking a lot of me kid."
"I know. It's just that I like you a lot." Karol awkwardly curls in his knees. "I've never had a dad before and… if I did I'd bet he be like you."
Raven's hand falls. "You're too much kid." He needs air! He walks out and ignores Yuri passing him in the hall. How could the kid say that? Raven's done nothing to earn that privilege! He's an awful person who's morals shred with enough pull. He still can't bring himself to be honest about everything that he is and was.
He's still haunted by the guilt of a dead man. Still, thinking about how sometimes he wished that fool had killed that baby instead of going soft. Still lugging around empty reminders that he can't manage to throw away.
It's too warm in this town! Normally Raven is all for it but with the way his chest is pounding, he's wishing the day sun was cooled by a nice breeze. Instead, it's humid and warm in this city from being inside a giant jellyfish and there's no relief to be found. There's no wind or anything in this city and it's unnatural how removed Myorzo is. It makes his skin itch as he looks out at the people and buildings smiling without care. It's so- so- MADDENING.
He needs out. Just out. Or a drink that he can scream into. There's gotta be booze here.