Authors note
Trigger Warning -This chapter, Mentions Self-harm and Suicide attempts, most of the self-harm is my own personal experience, as is the suicide attempt, but mine was both self-harm and an overdose, sorry if it is triggering to anyone, also my family is really supportive of me unlike some ex-friends, who treated me like this, except they said I wish you had, when I said that I wish I had cut deep enough.
Also, Paula Cassidy Doesn't Die in This
Due to my mom's dad dying on Sunday night this is late, i am hoping to continue posting from tomorrow, every other day as usual, but some may be late over the next week or two
Thanks to bee-327 and ds2010 for the reviews
Laura
Jenny was still in Jethro's arms, he held her till she was ok, once she calmed down enough to speak, she whispered "Jethro I'm so sorry, now my leaving was for nothing, maybe I should just go, I know you both hate me now",
Jethro whispered "Jenny, it may have been for nothing but you are a great director, and no, you're not going anywhere, we don't hate you Kelly may be angry, I love you forever and always",
Jenny whispered " I need to speak to Kelly, and I love you to forever and always" she gave him a quick kiss on the lips and separated herself from him, and said "sorry about that guy's, Kelly I'm sorry can we talk",
Kelly stood up and said "no you lied to me" and started going towards the house,
Jenny went after her; she had just grabbed Kelly's shoulder to try to talk to her.
Kelly turned around and shouted "get off me I hate you",
Jenny said "yeah well I hate myself as well" then said what she thought was quietly but everyone still heard "I should have cut deep enough",
Everyone gasped and Kelly said "what is that meant to mean and don't lie to me this time",
Jenny pulled up her sleeves pointed to two deep scars on each of her wrists and said "when I got to the hotel, I was already hating myself, and I checked in under a fake name, I had been in my room for about an hour, when I realised, you would be just greeting your father, and expecting me to be there, I knew he hated me and you would to, and I was down and that's when I cut, I was unconscious when I was found, had to stay in hospital for two weeks, but I was ok".
By the time she was finished, both had tears streaming down their faces, and Kelly said "I'm sorry mom, I don't hate you, I was just angry for being lied to, I love you",
Jenny pulled her into her arms and said: "I know sweetheart, I love you too, and I know but by the time, I came back, your dad had already told you I was working abroad, and we agreed, not to tell you any different".
They started walking back to the group, Jenny sat next to Jethro and Kelly sat in her lap cuddling her, Jethro wrapped his arm around both of them.
Tom said "so that's where you were when we couldn't get hold of you for two weeks, we couldn't get a trace of you either, you didn't check in that night, we knew you got off the plane, They checked any name we could think of in hospitals too, what name did you use?",
Jenny said "yeh sorry Tom, and I used Jethro's mom's name but with her maiden name, Sorry Jethro and Jackson but I didn't want anyone to find me",
Jethro squeezed her hand and Jackson said "you have nothing to apologise for, I'm just glad you're ok",
Jenny smiled and said, "I'm sorry about all this everyone, and I know you're all probably worried, after two of my secrets where revealed, but I promise I am fine now, so I think we should get back to telling stories about each other".
They all agreed and ducky said "I remember when Jenny had been working for the team about a year, and after a really long and hard case we ended at the bar for a few drinks, Will and Stan had decided on shots for some of them, so was quite drunk, they for some reason decided it would be fun to both pour a shot of vodka in Jenny's ears, Stan went first, then when she tilted her head to get it out, Will poured the other one in, when she managed to get the vodka out, they both were stood laughing, she was angry and her temper got the better off her and she punched them both, and managed to knock them both out",
Everyone burst into laughter and Will said "I didn't realise she could punch that hard",
Jenny smirked and said, "I was trained in Navy hand to hand contact and also Jethro trained me in marines hand to hand contact".
Ziva said "will you tell us now, what happened in London when Gibbs was arrested and you nearly was arrested",
Lilly said "wait you were nearly arrested come on spill",
Jenny rolled her eyes and said "Thanks, Ziva and yes I was but I'm not saying why",
Jethro said "you only weren't because you saw them coming and it was your fault",
Jenny said " how was it my fault and you still won't say what you were arrested for the first time",
Jethro said "you know why, and that one was your fault too",
Jenny glared and said "How and tell me why you were",
Jethro said "you remember Liam Roberts the MI5 agent we were working in, and he kept trying to get with you, the night before you had told him that you weren't interested and was with someone, well me and Ducky was in the bar, he asked where you were and I said back at the hotel room, he replied well give me her room number and I will keep her company, I told him that you said that you weren't interested and was with someone, and he said well you can't resist him forever whether you liked it or not, so I punched him and told him to stay away from you, just as the police walked in, so we were both arrested".
Jenny burst into laughter and said "ok the first time, maybe my fault, and that would be why when me and Ziva worked a joint op with MI5 when he found out it was me, he must have assumed it would be you as well and walked off and we ended up with someone else".
Ducky said "to be fair my dear, both times was your fault and the second time was just as much his as yours",
Lilly said "are you going to tell us the reason behind the second time",
Jenny said "no",
Lilly thought for a while and said "wait, remember when I was arrested and cautioned, was that the same reason",
Jenny went bright red and said "yes it was but keep your mouth shut",
Lilly laughed and said "and to think you had a major go at me for that",
Jenny said "yeh, yeh I know,
She then heard her door go to find Beth there and invited her in when they went outside she said "guys this is my friend from college Elizabeth Rutter but call her Beth or Skates
Tony said " why Skates"
Jenny laughed and said, "because when we were doing our Law degrees she was always running late to lessons, so we brought her a pair of skates hoping to get her to be on time but she ended up being even more late to classes."
Stan said "you studied law; I thought you were a nurse"
Jenny laughed and said "yes I did my first year and got halfway through and hated it so left, but stayed in touch with Beth although I have seen her in over ten years.
Lilly said, "Jenny, going back to earlier, I thought you believed your father to be dead when you broke your arm in Stillwater, so how did he find out you broke it there?"
Jenny said "He was, Naomi was on about the first time, back when I was a teen, he didn't know Naomi had allowed me to go with Jethro up to Stillwater for a four day weekend, so we said I was with my friend Ellen, who had gone up to New York visiting family and we had a water fight and I had slipped over, he found out when he had the insurance summary come through with it stating Geisinger Bloomsburg Hospital, which is about 20 miles from Stillwater"
Ziva said "so you've broken your arm twice in Stillwater, do we get to hear the stories of how"
Jenny sighed and said "Fine but it goes no further, that weekend was the first time I met Jackson, he made me stay in Jethro's old room, and was going to make Jethro stay in the room above the shop but changed it to the workshop he had at the back, thinking that he would hear if Jethro would try and sneak in and I wasn't likely to want to be out there, not realising I'm an army brat, so it wouldn't bother me, so we snuck out and Jethro, showed me around, we went up one of the hills in his truck and lay in the back looking up at the stars and talking until the early hours, and we fell asleep, when we woke up a few hours later Jethro said 'we better get back before dad wakes up and realises were gone, and I get the blame for corrupting you when it's the other way around' I replied ' well you did corrupt me, I wouldn't dream of sneaking out or being with a marine let alone being alone with one before you came along', we went back and forth a bit before he said 'Oh Really' and started to tickle me, I flipped us over, and went to get off him, not realising we were at the side of the truck bed, and went over the top and landed with my hand stretched out, breaking it, Jethro took me to the hospital, and we got back early enough to sneak in, we planned to hid it, as Jack had to be at the shop early, and Jethro was going to show me more of the town, which worked well until one of the neighbours who had been at the hospital, asked jack who I was and gave us away"
Everyone laughed and Jack said "yes that was a shock, finding out that not only had you snuck out but you snuck back in without me knowing, especially considering you couldn't come back in the way you went out"
Lilly said, "ha and I thought the second time was embarrassing"
Jenny Just said "it was only embarrassing because as adults, we should have known better than do what we did"
Tony and Stan both smirked but Jethro interrupted before either could say anything with "not what either of you are thinking, one of the areas I was going to show her was this old rocky steep hill that as teens we used to rock climb up, it wasn't the safest but we didn't care and it had some great views, so while I showed her then, we couldn't climb it, we had been back together about 5 months, and was up visiting Jackson, who took Kelly for the day and told us to spend the day together, and I Jokingly suggested we go climb it, as we couldn't one of the last time we were there, Jenny said why not, so we did and spent a while at the top, we were almost back down at the bottom, when part of it came away causing both of us to fall, we both ended up with cuts and bruises and Jen broke the same arm again"
They continued to tell stories when Beth's phone rang she answered with "Rutter", "no I am not telling you where my apartment is and I'm not there anyway" "what don't you get was over" " yes we are we split up over three months ago"
DiNozzo had an idea so went near her and said " hey babe do you want a drink" and winked at her, she replied with "yes please"
She then laughed and said "so because I've moved on, and we've been split over three months I'm a slut, get lost" with this she hung up, and said "Thanks, Tony",
Tony replied" your welcome did he get the message",
Beth said "yeh finally hopefully he will leave me alone now",
They then heard a voice say "I see I mean nothing to you then Tony"
Tony turned around shocked and said "Paula wait"
Paula turned around said "no I thought I meant as much to you as you did to me, obviously I was wrong, I was here to see my friends, but I'm just going to go"
Tony grabbed her arm and said "Paula Jayne Cassidy-DiNozzo, I love you and you mean the world to me and that wasn't what it looked like, she has an ex who wouldn't get the message I was trying to help, as I don't want it to go as far as it did with you"
Everyone gasped, shocked at the fact Tony was married, while Paula said "I'm sorry Tony for that and for our last argument I love you" with this she kissed him passionately, they then went and sat with the group,
Tony said "guys this is my wife of 20 years, Paula"
Paula said " hey Jenny, ZivaLeigh"
Ziva said "this is your husband, you told us about but not his name"
Paula laughed and said " yes but Jenny knew, and I knew hers, you gone out to get more drink, and we both agreed to tell each other who are husbands were, you wouldn't tell us yours so we didn't tell you ours, and before you ask Tony, these two are the ones who trained me and they were who I was in Cairo with"
Paula said "I forgot about that, we were totally wrecked that night, I still don't know how we managed to perform the next morning, and Paula, this is my husband Jethro and our daughter Kelly"
Paula said "nice to meet you, Hello Again Jethro, and hey zivaleigh, will you finally tell us your husband's name, or do we have to get it out of you"
Ziva said "you could always try but I doubt you would, but I suppose it's going to come out soon" she then walked up to Tim and Kissed him and said "this is my husband Tim, but you both already know him though Paula slightly more I believe"
Paula said "yeh I do, how did that happen and why so quiet on it"
Tim smirked and said, "well you know when a man and women meet and like each other they may decide to start dating, with tony as your husband you should know that and had to keep you all guessing didn't we."
Tom said " you certainly did that, when did you both get married as it's not in your file"
Tim said "that's because we couldn't risk it getting back to Mossad or the Admiral, all though we decided not to hide it anymore, and in 98"
Jenny just laughed and said "Ziva your father is going to be so pissed when he finds out"
Ziva said "ah well, that doesn't bother me anymore, he can go to hell for all I care and so will the admiral, it's actually a bet between us over who will cause the most problems"
Tony said "Why and how did you to even meet anyway and what about you and Abby dating probie"
Tim and Abby both laughed with Abby saying "we never did you just made assumptions and we never corrected you, and Tim, I thought you said the only person you would consider marrying was Adinah"
Tim Laughed and said "I did and I did end up marrying her, Paula called her zivaleigh which is her first name but Adinah is her middle name, and we met originally when we were both 12, The admiral was transferred to a base in Tel-Aviv, My mom Sarah and I went with him, there we met Ziva and "
Tim paused before finishing so Ziva turned to Tim and said "it's ok you can say it" before turning to the rest and finishing "And my sister Tali, We are the same age as was Tali and Sarah who were Four, They got on great straight away us not so much, but as I ended up watching Tali a lot, and Tim the same with Sarah, we grudgingly had to Put up with each other, which turned to friendship then a year later we started dating, behind our parents back while we knew that our mothers wouldn't care, we didn't want them to lie to our Fathers, as they hated the idea of us being friends let alone anything more.
Tim Continued with "we were together until the summer before I turned 16 when he was transferred back to the states, we made promises to each other, but lost touch, I was in Italy with Sarah and our Grandmother in April of 98, when we bumped into Ziva and Tali, we spent the rest of the time together, as Tali and Sarah recognised each other straight away and at the end of the first week, we went to sneak off and get married, they found out about it and insisted they be there and promised they wouldn't tell anyone, which they haven't, and I was extremely shocked when Ziva turned up at NCIS, and before you ask no I didn't know who Ari was.
Jenny said "so you're the Farri Tali used to talk about when we couldn't be overheard by anyone other the Ziva or Rivka could hear"
Tim laughed "Yep she was six and her and Sarah overheard Ziva calling me Farragut, as we had decided to use middle names to try and limit suspicion, both couldn't say it so Tali said when we're talking about you I'm just going to call you Farri then, and it stuck"
Tony said "wait so the only people not married bar Kelly are Will, Abby and Stan, Lilly and Beth"
Jenny Smirked and Said "Lilly is, and don't deny it your wearing your rings around your neck"
Lilly said "How did you know that is what's on my necklace"
Jenny laughed and said "you let your dog tags hang out but always make sure the chain never hangs out, and I've seen the shape of the rings usually two but occasionally three, and if they were anything but your wedding and engagement ring and I'm assuming occasionally his you wouldn't hide them as much, also I've been doing the same, though I don't need to hide it now with the ring Jethro gave me when we were teens, but I'm sure you will say when you're ready"
Lilly rolled her eyes and said "was hoping no one realised that"
Stan said "no I am, but that's for another time"
Abby said "I am too, I married last year, in a quick ceremony, he is currently 6 months into a 9-month tour, and he's a staff sergeant in the air force"
Jenny just smirked and said "I suppose today is the day for secrets to come out then"
By 9.30 they all decided to go home, due to having work in the morning.