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Chapter 18: Perception

The world had become fuzzy and incoherent to her. Up might as well have been left for all she knew, as her state of awareness dimmed to nothing more than a whisper. Her vision was dark but she wasn't sure she'd closed her eyes and sounds seemed to echo in disjointed fragments that spanned the time of the universe. After a time, voices floated around her, still not really recognizable and hanging around her like fog.

"Kira!" Panic, loud, abrasive. Something prodded at her leg and the pain that had been nearly drowning her splashed over her again. She gasped.

"No, don't take it out. It's the only reason she's still alive." Calm, smooth, wise in tone. The prodding stopped and she nearly sighed in relief. "Sai, can you make a transport?"

"Yes." Even but with a restless undertone.

"I'll take her." The first again, calmer now but still abrasive. Something is around her, lifting her up, and the ground is gone. There's a rushing wind all around her and something warm is pressed against her side. It stings, but she likes the heat of it.

Kira is looking at the stars when the wind stops and she knows there are voices but she has trouble hearing them. Has trouble seeing the people they belong to. She was on something hard and stiff and the warmth at her side was gone. Fingers ran over her hair and there's a voice over the rest of them, hard and clear like before.

"Just hold on, you idiot." Something about that made her want to smile. Her lips twitched to do so but something drags at her.

She was floating in and out of her own vision, time slipping around her with smells and words that she can't truly grasp. When it finally stopped she was staring upward, vision still blurred and head still cotton filled.

Red. She saw red, and she was gone.

.

.

.

She woke to the sound of birds singing. Kira smiled sleepily and buried her face into her pillow for a moment, taking in a deep breath. When she got out of bed, she stretched and wandered over to her closet, passing dozens of pictures on the wall, showing moments in time, friends, family, events. Once dressed she made her way down the stairs of the tattoo parlor and opened the door into the kitchen. Her parents are there to greet her, like almost every day.

Her mom, smiled at her, the brown in her hair just starting to show some silver as she stood straight-backed at the stove.

"Good morning dear, did you sleep well?"

Kira nodded her head, still sleepy and took her seat across from her father. Akio was reading a scroll, most likely a message about his next mission. He scratched at his cleanly shaven chin and then glanced over to her. She quirked an eyebrow, as she knew how much mom hated him reading at the table.

"She's not done cooking yet," he said lamely, but rolled it back up anyway, setting it aside. "It's the start of your last break before you graduate. Less than a year from now and you'll be joining me." He winked at her. "I've put in a good word with the ANBU core. They're impressed with your skills so far."

Kira felt like she had a sun inside of her, lighting up everything as she grinned. Her dad didn't praise her often about her training, wishing instead to simply guide her along. "Thanks dad. I'm so excited, I can't wait."

"It's hard to believe you were once twelve and just stepping foot into that building," her mother mused, coming around the table and setting a plate down in front of both Kira and her dad. She moved back to the stove and was back in a short moment with her own, setting it on the table and sitting down on the chair her father had just pulled out.

"I'm eighteen mom, geeze," Kira muttered, embarrassed, and then focused on her food. After breakfast she helped her mom clean up and her dad left, going to work, saying he'll be gone a few days on a mission. She hugged him and he ruffled her hair, kissing her mom and then was out the door.

She left less than an hour later as a client showed up for an inking with her mom. She grabbed her pouch and clipped it to her belt and then headed towards the Kazekage tower where Lord Rasa and his family lived. Kira was across the village and in the building in minutes, waving to a guard who nodded his head in greeting, use to her presence as she climbed the stairs into the living quarters.

Gaara was sitting on one of the few stools in the greenhouse, near the back where the water controls were. His eyes were down, glued to a book he had in hand, an overall peaceful look to him. Kira smirked and walked quietly over to him, heart speeding up as she did so. She stopped next to him, leaning over slightly to get a look at what chapter he was on.

"Hey there," she greeted as his eyes flickered over to her and a gentle smile reached his lips.

"I was wondering when you'd show up," he replied, lowering the book and resting his arm on his lap for a moment to look at her completely. "Good morning."

"Morning Gaara," She answered grinning sheepishly. "You've gotten pretty far since yesterday." Kira nodded to the book and he looked to it again before back to her and shrugged.

"It is very enthralling, I should thank the person that lent it to me," he tilted his head at her and Kira felt his free hand run lightly over the far side of her waist. She laughed slightly, flushing, but didn't look away from his gaze.

"Yeah, you really should," she teased lightly and saw a smirk twitch across his lips, and the hand at her waist went from a brushing glance to resting on the curve of it and pulling her gently forward. In one swift movement he lowered his head slightly and brushed his lips to hers, an action that she had been expecting but that still made her heart speed up as she closed her eyes and kissed him back. Her right hand reached up, finding his hairline and running her fingers over the smooth skin of his forehead and into his hair brushing it back. His hand tightened on her waist at the action before he pulled back and sighed, content.

Kira was still smiling when she opening her eyes to look at him again, her chest tight and warm as she lowered her hand, running it down the side of his face, and tracing his jaw line. "I love you, so much," she whispered and his eyes softened and he pulled her closer again. She turned, standing next to him and leaning against his side, head tilting onto his shoulder. She felt his head tip and press against hers, his nose in her hair for a moment.

"I love you too," he murmured against it, before pulling back and lifting his borrowed book up once again. "Just let me finish this chapter, then we'll head out."

Kira smiled rubbing her nose into his shoulder before looking at the book as well to see how long that would be. A few pages if she was right. It didn't bother her. "Okay." They fell into a calm silence after that, both reading, her head on his shoulder and his arm around her waist. Kira couldn't help but think how perfect the moment was.

Gaara had just closed his book when the door open and Rasa, the current Kazakage and his father, walked in, looking over a sheet of paper as he entered. Kira straightened, pulling away slightly and Gaara reluctantly let go of her waist. When Rasa looked up he blinked, taking in the both of them and then gave a small smile.

"Kira, should have known you'd be here, I was just speaking with your father," he said evenly and Kira gave a small bow in greeting, smiling nervously. She couldn't get use to the fact that the leader of her village was so casual with her. He nodded his head and looked to his son. "Your mother wanted me to check and see if you would be around for dinner. You're welcome to join us Kira, if you would like." He stuck her with a firm gaze again and she twitched before smiling slightly.

"We should be back in plenty of time," she replied glancing at Gaara who nodding his head.

"Was there anything else Father?"

Rasa cleared his throat slightly before shaking his head. "I was going to see if you would help her in the kitchen, but I had forgotten you had plans. Don't worry about it, you two be careful." He said dismissively and turned heading back out the door as swiftly as he had come. Once the door had swung shut Kira let out a low exhale, relived, and turned, putting her forehead on Gaara's shoulder.

"I'm never going to get used to him talking to me like that."

Gaara's light laughter was his response as he stood up from the stool and put a hand on her shoulder. It was still odd to her that he now taller than her – only by an inch or so but still – after having a random growth spurt a little under a year ago. "It has been quiet a while, you just need to relax. He does understand."

Kira blanched slightly looking at him. "Did he say something to you?"

"Yes," there is still humor in his tone as he speaks. "He doesn't know how to make you feel better about it, but he understands that trying to see him as just my family and not someone who will soon be your commander isn't easy. I pointed out to him that he didn't help the issue when we first got together."

Kira grimaced, remembering how awkward that had been. It wasn't like Rasa had resented the relationship, but he had clearly been surprised. She couldn't really blame him, after all who would have thought his youngest child would end up with someone before the other two. Temari was still dancing around the Nara boy like it was a game and Kankuro was...well, he was Kankuro. It had been weird transitioning from just being a friend to the three sand siblings to suddenly dating one of them – the one people hadn't thought would be the one she'd end up with at that.

"I'll try to act like I did before. I don't know why I have trouble doing it." Kira sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "We should go though, or we'll make the others wait." She grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers with his and smiled. Gaara's grip tightened and he slipped the book into a pouch on his belt before silently leading her forward. She let the smile stay on her lips, unable to hold it back as she walked close to him down the hall, feeling a sense of belonging that seemed too right to ever change.

Until the hall swayed and Kira felt her hand slip from his that is. Gaara turned to look at her, shocked and confused, his image blurring with the rest of her surroundings, and then like a bandage, the scene was ripped away in one motion.

Kira gasped, not realizing her eyes had closed and reopened them quickly to reassure him she was fine. They needed to hurry, or less they would be late...late for what? She blinked and found the bland tan color of a thick fabric staring back at her. She was laying down, had she passed out? She was cold, and as she tried to move she felt pain lace up her leg and her side start to throb. She couldn't move her leg, something was keeping it in place. Her face hurt too, she realized and then heard a groan from near by her. She couldn't turn over but saw from the tilt of her head on the cot she was on that Kankuro was pushing a hand to his forehead, looking dazed and confused.

Where had he come from?

The ground wasn't polished or even smooth Kira realized, but simply dirt with fabric laid quickly over parts of it. Something about that realization suddenly brought everything back, crashing into her with so much force she couldn't breathe. They were at war. War. Kira had been fighting Kimimaro and then she'd gotten hurt, badly. Kira knew now she was in a medical tent from looking at her surroundings. Kankuro must have brought her here. A lot after that was blank space... and...what had that been?

Pain, both real and not real seem to tear her chest apart as her mind reeled at what she had just been seeing, what she had been living. She could hear others around her, asking things, saying things but Kira couldn't hear them. All she could do was run her mind over those images and words.

She felt her mother's hug like a ghost around her, heard her dad tell her how proud he was of her. She saw Gaara's face, his forehead smooth and untouched, an easy smile on his face. She felt his grip on her waist and his face in her hair. She heard the echoes of their words, felt the press of his lips to hers and something seemed to both break and click in her mind and heart all at once. It numbed her, running lightning through her veins, unable to grasp at it completely.

Something twisted sharply in her chest.

"Oh god..." She choked out.

Tears pooled in her eyes and over flowed, trailing down her face, and Kira could do nothing but stare in shocked stillness at the roof of the tent.

…

It was over.

He couldn't believe it. After so much pain and loss and impossible outcomes, it was over. They had won. Every enemy they had been facing was either dead, had surrendered, or was just… gone. Over and done. Gaara had a hard time processing it. He didn't even understand how, had no memory of it ending, just that he had been fighting one moment and then the next he had been... somewhere else. When he'd come to everything had been still and quiet and two of the people responsible for such an impossible ending had apparently blown each other's arms off.

For some reason, it really didn't surprise him and after things had been explained he'd eyed Sasuke like a cobra but said nothing. The entire event seemed unneeded to him, but he could see it as some sort of way to make up for what had transpired between them. There were certainly better ways to do it, but Naruto was hardly one to think about his actions and Sasuke was a man who's motives made little sense to him.

He honestly didn't understand their friendship at all.

It had taken hours, but slowly the remaining forces were moved back towards safety. The main base was gone so they had opted to head to the medical cores' base, which everyone had needed. Gaara and the rest of the leaders had stood in the hallway of one of the buildings that had been made for serious conditions, waiting to see how the two heroes would fair.

It had taken a day for things to calm down enough for anyone to make clear reasoning of what had happened. The justu had thrown everyone off, Gaara included. It was like something had been ripped out of him when it had broken, and the memories of what he had seen were still so vivid in his mind... He tried not to think about it. To focus on what was real, but everyone was having trouble, with the exception of the original team Seven who hadn't been put under it.

He stood with them now, along with his sister and the Nara boy, mostly listening as they talked quietly. Both Naruto and Sasuke were sitting up in beds in the room they occupied, and covered in bandages pretty heavily but all in all they were doing pretty well. Almost everyone was injured, Gaara being one of the few not bed ridden like them. Everyone was beyond tired, but hardly anyone was sleeping. Post-war effects he was sure.

"I still can't believe you guys did this to me," Sakura hissed out, hands clenched at her sides. The medical ninja had run herself into the ground to keep both of her teammates from dying of blood loss. Now that she had rested she was, with good reason, upset. Gaara had always had a bit of appreciation for the girl, putting up with her team like she did. "You're both dumber than I thought."

"Ah geeze, Sakura, I said I was sorry," Naruto pleaded, looking like he meant it. Sasuke said nothing, just eyed her for a moment before looking away again. He hadn't said much since waking up. That alone seemed to upset the pink haired girl even more and she made a small sound before crossing her arms. Kakashi had been watching his charges rather lazily, a book open in his hand as he peaked over the top every once in a while.

Temari had been trying to comfort the Nara boy, who'd lost his father in the war, but like most Shinobi refused to show any sort of grief in public. Shikamaru simply gave her default answers and redirected questions, but his sister was hardly one to give up easily.

Gaara let his eyes fall away from the group, wondering if he should be mourning people too. There hadn't been much word about the team his brother had been leading and while no one had said he or Kira were dead and there were so many missing people trying to find anyone was a bit troubling. Not for the first time that day he reached a hand up to run it over the knot work of his strap, only to find nothing and remember that his weapon had been left in one of the tents.

The opening of a door brought his attention forward again and he looked up to see Sai at the doorway, a hand keeping it open. He was battered and looked pretty much the same as everyone else, but a smile turned his normally blank face slightly brighter. "There you guys are," he greeted and turned, leaning back out. "They're in here!" With that he entered the room.

"Sai!" Sakura breathed in relief, hurrying over and pulling the painter into a hug. One that the ANBU agent had clearly not expected but seemed to accept after a moment anyway, returning it without another thought. "We were worried when we couldn't find you," she said, pulling back and looking him over, the doctor in her coming out and making sure he was really okay to be on his feet. Sai smiled and tilted his head at her.

"Sorry about that. I'm alright. Would have been here sooner but I wanted to check on some people and then ran into others looking for the Kazekage." He looked to Gaara and the redhead raised a pale brow just in time for the door to open again and for two people to walk in. Well, 'walked' was a loose term. One walked in and held the door open while the other hobbled in on crutches. Just like that, the two people Gaara had been worried about appeared.

Kankuro was battered, his face paint gone and his left arm in a sling. Kira was another story. Not only was she the one on crutches but the leg that had made them necessary was in some kind of brace and cast around the jointed area. Her shoulder was bandaged and her face was discolored in places other than just the sky blue paint that had smudged and stained the area. There were stitches on her right cheek and one on the other cheekbone, reaching over her eye and up her forehead. Her hair was down, lacking any braids and hung limply in clumps. She really didn't look ready to be on her feet and his assumptions were only confirmed when she winced once she'd stopped, making it through the door so her friend could let go of it.

His sister was the one that unfroze first, relief clear in her voice as she went over to them in much the same manner Sakura had with Sai. "Kankuro, Kira," she breathed out hugging them both, though she seemed to take care in how she touched the shadow user. They both smiled and Gaara had enough sense to move forward to. Kankuro gave him a nod.

"Glad to see you're both alive too. Better off than us in some ways." He glanced at Kira who had turned to glower at him before looking at Gaara and smiling slightly. She faltered after a moment though, perhaps seeing the people behind them, and looked down.

"It's not that bad," she mumbled quietly. Hands shaking, she bit her lip. "I'm..."

Temari backed up a bit, sliding in next to her brother so Gaara could get a little closer, a foot still between them, though part of him wanted to close it. To touch her and make sure she was real, to banish the thought that he'd lost her for good. "Kira?"

She shook her head for a moment before quickly closing the distance herself, the crutches clattering to the ground as she threw her arms around his neck in a tight hug. Gaara froze, every muscle snapping tight as he stood there confused and shocked. Kira had never openly touched him, not like this. Not that many ever touched him like that, but the shadow user had always had trouble being that close to people. The only people he'd ever seen her in close contact with were his brother and her teammate Aya, as well as her mother. Now... to break that careful barrier with him, he wondered what was wrong, what he should do.

His brother snickered and he glanced over to his siblings and saw Temari smiling slightly before giving a small nod of approval and made a small gesture with her hands. Gaara blinked and realized he wasn't doing anything but standing there and felt how she was shaking with the loss of the crutches. Slowly, he lifted his arms and returned the hug, if a bit stiffly, and took a bit of weight off her bad leg. He wasn't sure he'd ever done that before. It was a first for both of them.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, so quietly he was sure the people across the room couldn't have made it out. "I didn't come when you had asked me too... I…" Her arms tightened slightly. "I was worried I'd never see you again..."

Relief seemed to wash over him, relaxing his hold slightly. Maybe it wasn't odd to have been so worried about them. About her. "I was too," he said slowly. "Don't be concerned about not being able to help." He didn't tell her that even if she had shown up, that it was likely she would have been killed or at least just as badly hurt. Seeing the injury to her leg, he was just glad that she had gotten treatment. Kira was quiet for a few moments, thinking over his words before she sighed.

"Okay." She didn't let go of him and while Gaara wasn't sure if maybe he should be the one to, he wasn't really in a hurry either. He liked the feeling of being held close by someone.

"Uh, did I miss something," Naruto chirped from behind him. "I thought, you know, that they were just friends."

"Good friends have been known to do that," Kakashi spoke up for the first time in a while, and Gaara could only picture him with a sly smile under his mask. "She is also the Kazekage's ANBU bodyguard." At his words Gaara felt Kira stiffen and her arms loosened, pulling back slightly as if they had reminded her of who she was. Gaara dropped his arms as she pulled away and looked at her in the eyes for a moment. Her face was red, amber eyes full of too many emotions to really read them right, and then she looked away quickly, embarrassed. Gaara bent down and picked up her discarded crutches and handed them back to her as Naruto answered.

"Oh, I guess that make-Wait what? She's his...?" the exasperation and surprise in the blonde's voice was enough to make Kira smile softly as she took her crutches from Gaara, thanking him.

"Interesting..." Sasuke mused quietly and Gaara noted that it was the first thing he had said in a while. The tone made him just a bit weary. Turning back to team seven he crossed his arms and heard the clicking sound as Kira moved farther into the room. Sakura didn't seem at all surprised by the scene and instead moved to meet his friend half way.

"You really shouldn't be up," she muttered, but was smiling anyway. Gaara wondered if maybe the entire event had made her happy for some reason. "I guess I can understand why you are though."

"Yes, I... Thank you for helping me like you did," Kira said bashfully, her face still flushed. "I don't remember it but... Kankuro said you were the one that saved my leg... so thank you." That was news to the young ruler and he glanced back to his brother who had moved up and was almost beside him now. The puppet master nodded his head.

"Yeah, it wasn't pretty, she had a spear completely through her leg, right under the knee. There was a lot of blood," he said quietly, knowing that his friend didn't want to be the center of attention. Thankfully Sai and Shikamaru had apparently distracted most of team seven, though Kakashi did survey them quietly over his book. Gaara frowned looking back over at Kira. Hadn't she said 'it wasn't that bad'? Either their ideas of severity were different or she was trying to make him not worry. It hadn't worked.

"I was going to come by later and see you, tell you what to do, but I guess I can do that now?" Sakura rubbed her neck glancing to Kira. "I'm sorry to say you're going to be off that leg for at least a month. Bed rest for at least a week. Yeah, you're not staying up." She smiled when Kira made a face and then winced again, moving around. She grabbed at her side and Gaara made a note to check her medical sheet later. "Even with constant medical healing, the damage was pretty bad, but some how it missed the knee cap so you're lucky." Her words made Kira grimace and look down at her leg. Gaara kept his face even but his chest constricted.

For a moment he saw what the scene must have looked like, saw all of her treated wounds, untreated. Saw her on the ground, blood on her face, her arm. Saw the spike through her leg and the blood that must have pooled by the time Kankurō had found her. He pushed the image away quickly, focusing on the present again and thinking about what Sakura's words meant.

Kira wouldn't like being laid off that long, but Gaara wasn't going to let her make that injury worse.

Sakura continued.

"I'll speak with the assigned medical ninja in Suna. You'll need some treatments and once the cast is off some therapy and probably a brace for a while. I know it's not what you want to hear, but you're doing a lot better then I would have thought, and a month is not that long in all honesty. At least you aren't like them." She pointed a thumb behind her at her two bed ridden teammates with a smug look on her face. "They're stuck there for at least two months."

Kira glanced at them and smiled slightly, giggling for a moment and Gaara let out a small sigh. Everything would be okay then. From the sound of it, it appeared Kira had been lucky she hadn't lost her leg. Turning to look at his brother he asked a question that was plaguing him. "Did she win?"

Kankurō tilted his head and then nodded, understanding. "Yeah, when I found her she was basically out of it, but her summonings were still hanging around making sure she was safe. Kimimaro was there, but he had a sealing tag on him. He couldn't move and didn't even respond to me or Sai and Kakashi when they showed up to help." His explanation answered more than just one question. Gaara nodded his head in thanks, and his brother moved to speak again. "How are you doing bro?"

He hadn't expected the question but both of his siblings were looking at him now. No one had really asked, seeing as he was up and moving around just fine, but Gaara wondered if they were asking about more than just physical injuries.

Was he okay?

No one was really okay, not after everything they'd seen and done. Gaara didn't want to think about it or get into it when there was an audience either way. He glanced back a Kira for a moment who was now talking with the group of Leaf ninja, her back to him. Looking back to his family he answered easier then he thought he might have. "I'm fine, now that everyone is here." He truly was, because at least for the time being everything was calm and while things were not great, they would only get better.

He'd deal with the rest later.

Yeah, I'm aware I'm a horrible person. Poor Kira. -maniacal laughter-

What do you guys them hmm? Please Rate and Review!

DROH