Thanks for all the love in the last chapter guys, just remember what happened in the dream isn't how its really goping to go down! Enjoy some fluffiness!

Chapter 19: Healing

The next few days for Kira were spent in an unreal daze of sleeping, pain killer induced highs and seemingly random visits from people. She was rather sure they weren't really random but with the other two things throwing her time awareness off, they certainly felt like they were. She was prone to complaining about it, but was often given the reply that she'd done it to herself.

Because really, she kind of had.

So forcing herself out of bed and onto crutches right away hadn't been her best idea. Launching herself at Gaara had been even worse. It hadn't been realized until a little while later – the pain had been practically numbed due to local amnestic which probably wasn't a good thing when moving around – that in doing so she'd ripped her stitches in her side.

Kira still wasn't who had been more terrifying at the moment of realization: Gaara, or Sakura.

Either way, Kira had basically been ordered to stay in bed, at least until it was safe for her to move around. It was boring and agitating, but she didn't care when she was asleep and the painkillers kept her incoherent enough that she couldn't concentrate long enough on one thing to get annoyed. So her fits of boredom only came after the painkillers began to wear off, and it was never long before they were replaced. She was pretty sure Kankuro found it all a bit too amusing.

Kira decided he was an awful person. He'd agreed with a grin.

Other people had shown up besides the sand siblings to her surprise, and relief. Sakura checked on her periodically, normally with a sand medical ninja in toe taking notes on what would need to be done once they all went home. She never stayed long, just checked on her, talking briefly about how others were doing, what her day was like, and other idle chatter. She normal ended her visit with a shot of narcotics straight into the IV, which Kira was really starting to dislike.

On her second day stuck in bed Tenten and Lee had shown up at her door, looking just as awful as everyone looked these days. She'd been so happy to see them that her inquiry about their teammate had just slipped out, but it appeared it had been the wrong thing to ask about.

Neji had died in the finally battle saving Naruto. Further information revealed that Reiska, the girl she had seen with Neji that day, had died as well in Neji's arms hours before he'd been killed. Tenten had started crying and to her surprise, Lee had kept tight-lipped and pulled his teammate into a sideways hug. Kira hadn't really known what to say other then to point out that at least the two were together in the afterlife, or at least that's what she believed. She had found herself wishing she'd gotten to know the calm jonin a little better, and realized that in the end, she had been rather lucky.

Kira hadn't lost anyone close to her. Gaara's family was fine, as were her teammates from Team Fukurō. She hadn't lost Tenten and while she'd known the rest of the weapon user's team, Kira hadn't known them as well as the girl herself. True, that was only six people in total, but Kira still felt extremely lucky. There weren't many who could say they hadn't lost someone.

Maybe the world had been kind to her, seeing as she had lost her mother shortly before the war had started.

Kira sighed, running a hand over her face, over the stitches there. The person in the chair next to her shifted and drew her attention. Tenten was back again, on Kira's fourth day of bed rest. She'd come back a lot, claiming she didn't have much to do, and Kira supposed that was true, though the girl might have just not wanted to be picked for recovery duty. Watching over a critically injured friend was one way of getting out of that. Kira couldn't blame her; searching for the dead in the miles of terrain that the war had taken place in didn't sound like a much fun.

By now most of the bodies had been found and going outside meant getting an eye full of sorted corpses. The bodies were identified then put in summoning scrolls for easy transport back to loved ones. It was all a bit too surreal for Kira and for once she was glad she was stuck in bed.

"You doing alright?" the brunet asked, hand moving to hover near the side table where a pitcher of water and a bell was. Kira waved a hand. Her mind was mostly clear but she could still feel the fuzzy drag of the last dose of pain meds at the edge of her mind. As long as she didn't move too much she would be fine for a bit longer without them. She hadn't been needing them nearly as much.

"I'm fine. Just bored and…tired, but not tired enough to sleep," she mumbled dropping her hand. Tenten smiled slightly before replacing her hands in her lap, on top of a book. "What are you reading?"

Tenten looked down at her lap, flipping the book front so that Kira could see it was the most recent installment of an adventure series Kira had been meaning to pick up herself. "It's pretty good. Keeps my mind off of things..." She trailed off, biting her lip. "Kira?"

"Hm?"

"What did the Infinite Tsukuyomi make you see?"

Kira made a small startled sound and raised a brow at her friend. No one had really spoken about that, or at least no one had asked her. "...why?" she asked wearily. Tenten shifted in her chair again, straightening her back against it.

"Well... it's just you've been acting kind of off, and if it was anything like mine then..." She sighed, shaking her head. "I just think people should be talking about it, you know? It was pretty shell-shocking to wake up from, to see everything you wanted and then have it pulled away."

That was an understatement.

Kira knew she was acting different, though she was trying not too. It was easy enough most of the time to not think about it but with Gaara... her eyes fell to the sheets over her legs, eyeing the lumpy difference between her uninjured leg and the damaged one. She knew she needed to talk to someone about it. Maybe if she did she could make sense of why she'd seen what she had. Tenten hadn't been in her dreams so maybe she was a safer bet...

"I saw a life where I was born in Suna," she whispered, picking at a thread in the blanket. "Where the women who raised me was my real mother and I had a father and the tailed beast didn't exist. I had... a normal, happy life." She yanked at the thread and it broke off in her fingers, leaving frayed ends. Kira had never really told Tenten that much about her life – ANBU wasn't something you shared – but she'd given her pieces, told her what she could. She was adopted after being found wandering the desert. She'd shown exceptional talent at a young age and been given a private instructor. Things like that. Kira was sure her friend was more than smart enough to pick up on the things she didn't say.

"...Was that it?" Tenten prodded, and Kira hunched her shoulders, wishing she could crawl under the covers and hide like a kid. Sadly her knee was pinned down so she couldn't.

"...No," she squeaked out, her mind playing back the scene for the millionth time. Her face warmed and she took in a breath. "I think...well, no, I'm pretty sure I was in a... relationship with Gaara..." She could almost feel his lips on hers again and she shuttered slightly not really liking how much she liked that feeling.

Tenten blinked.

Once.

Twice.

And then a grin lit her face that made Kira turn red.

"Well of course, I mean it's not in your face, but I could tell you liked him the first time you talked about him. I mean you were so upset with him." She shrugged her shoulders, still grinning and Kira stared at her like she'd spoken a different language, and then looked down. "Erm... am I wrong?" The brunet asked puzzled and Kira looked up at her again before returning her gaze down.

"I don't know... I don't think I realized…" Ever since she'd woken up from that genjustu she'd been out of sorts and confused emotionally. She remembered in the moment she'd woken up realizing just what that whole experience had meant and that her stupid head just had never really connected the dots. Except now she had and it stared back at her as she looked at it with a mixture of horror and shock. "I never thought about it that way, saw it like that. We've always just been friends, close friends...I mean I'm his bodyguard..." The small slip on her role didn't even bother her. Kakashi had already spilled it to his entire team so what was the harm in yet another person knowing?

Tenten was quiet for a moment, and Kira looked up at her friend feeling lost. The smile was gone, replaced with concern and understanding. "I guess I should have realized you wouldn't think of it that way," she muttered. "From what you said of your training, and how you acted when we first met… I'm sorry Kira. Maybe I should have said something. I thought about teasing you about it but I've never really liked doing that to people." She rubbed her neck thinking. "I guess it's been quite a shock, figuring things out."

"I…don't know what to do about it," Kira confessed, looking at her hands, which had threaded together in worry. "It was always easy to just be his friend, to watch out for him. Looking back I can see it, that we were... are pretty close but..." How could she do anything different? This was Gaara, and not the Gaara from that dream. She'd already acted on it before, basically throwing herself at him when she'd first seen him, but that had been seen as in the boundaries of friendship to most and Gaara certainly wouldn't have seen it as anything else. Kira wasn't sure how she saw it.

"You know, interaction don't change that much between people just because their relationship is different," Tenten pointed out. "You're always going to be his friend, always going to confide in him and trust him. That won't change just because you realized you want something more than just friendship with him." Tenten was playing with a stray piece of hair when Kira looked at her again. It was surprising that the girl seemed to know so much about it, but maybe it was just common sense that Kira couldn't see because she was in the middle of it. Still, it seemed a bit too knowledgeable, too detailed to be just that.

"You sound like you've already come to that conclusion on your own," she muttered, thinking back to before the war, and Tenten's promise to talk about the guy she liked. The brunet blushed and dropped her hand back to her lap looking off to the side. Kira felt a small smile on her lips as curiosity distracted her from her own problems. "You going to tell me who you were talking about before now?"

Tenten sighed in that exaggerated way of hers, closing her eyes in defeat. "I guess since you told me yours, it wouldn't be fair if I didn't tell you mine." She bit her lip for a moment before looking at Kira in the eyes with an unflinching gaze Kira wished she had. "...It's Lee, I know it sounds weird but...He was so inspiring to me, kept me going when I was having trouble finding a focus in my training. He just kind of became this anchor and then before I knew it..." She gave a small shrug, smiling through her blush. "Of course the idiot has no clue, so I guess we're both screwed on that front."

Kira snorted slightly, agreeing with her. The match didn't surprise her like she thought it would; it certainly explained why Tenten put up with him. As for him not knowing, that was quite possible. Him feeling the same way on the other hand. Kira had never seen Lee act like he had the first day they had visited her together. He'd comforted Tenten with a look of strength on his face rather than tears. He had been strong for her, and Kira wondered if there was a more to that then what she saw. Not that she was an expert by any means on that subject, her own cluelessness proving that. "I guess you're right on both fronts, but I think I need to get a better handle on how I feel before even considering sharing it with him."

Should she share it with him at all? Gaara was...well like her in some ways and then not in others. One of the others being that he was still trying to really get used to the idea of people not being scared of him and looking up to him.

"You know who else needs a push in the right direction?" Tenten said suddenly, drawing her attention, as if to distract her from her own worry. "Our master painter." She leaned back in the chair with a sigh and Kira smirked slightly.

"Sai? Yeah, even I saw that," she muttered smiling softly. "Sakura's just so hung up on that jerk that she can't see anything better. Sai just, he wants her to be happy so…" Kira saw a lot of her self in the fellow ANBU member, and she wondered if he was truly happy with letting Sakura love someone else. How would Kira feel, if Gaara found someone? Her chest twisted unhappily at the thought.

"You think we should do something?" Tenten asked frowning. Kira pressed her lips together thinking. She really wasn't one for melding, and it wasn't like she could give him any advice.

"I think right now it's more important we focus on the big picture. Everyone is hurt and tired. It will take months, maybe even over a year for things to become normal again. I doubt anything will happen within that time frame. Sai has enough to think about, and letting him watch her now that Sasuke is back might spur him into action." She rubbed her neck and leaned into the pillow behind her. "If not… well, keep me updated, maybe I'll pay him a visit or something." She really didn't know Sai that well, but she did like the boy, thought he was a good person despite his lack of emotional understanding. It gave Kira a look at what might have been her fate if not for her mother.

"Good idea," Tenten agreed with a smile. "You know, this all a bit too heavy for me right now, and I know you could use a break for your thoughts too." She held up her book again and cocked an eyebrow. "Want me to read to you? I've been told I'm a pretty good story teller."

Kira raised her brows in reply and then laughed slightly. Well that wasn't something she'd expected. The idea of not thinking for a while did sound amazing though. Looking at her friend Kira pushed away all her thoughts and nodded her head. "Sure, I think I could use an escape from the world too."

…

The wind was calm so high up in the air, the quiet whistle of it streaming by his ears the only indication of its being there. Gaara stared out at the horizon, the sun having traveled over half of the sky, the very bottom rim of the shining globe touching the line where earth and sky met. They were finally on their way home, and they would be there sooner than he would have thought possible. Kira's injured leg had made the idea of running back a bit troubling, even if Kankuro had offered to carry her. Thankfully Aya, Kira's teammate and friend, had been there during the discussion, and offered a solution.

Giant owls. The blond sealing justu user's summoning contract was to two giant owls – not the same size as Naruto's frog summon, probably closer to the size of the bird Sai hand painted to ride on before – one white and one brown. It was a bit amusing that her summoning was what it was, given that the girl's ANBU team was Fukurō.

Something - or rather someone - bumped into the back of Gaara's shoulder, breaking his thoughts apart. "Sorry," Kira grumbled, but didn't move again, her shoulder still against his back. "I'm having a really hard time finding enough room to be comfortable with this damn leg." Said leg was stretched out in front of her, resting across the beginning of the brown owl's wing. They were the only ones on the smaller of the two birds, which made sense seeing as they were the two smaller people of the group. Gaara's siblings and Aya were nearby, flying to the left of them on the much larger white owl.

"It's alright," he assured her, straightening his back and leaning against her shoulder slightly to support her better. He knew she was tired, even after being in bed for nearly two weeks while the Kage and himself got everything settled and the bodies of the dead were recovered. She hadn't liked being stuck in bed much, but she had needed it. Probably still did. "We'll be home soon," he told her. She could probably heal and rest better in her own bed, so he wouldn't make her go back to the hospital unless things took a bad turn. She let out a long sigh and he looked back at her and watched as she closed her eyes for a moment.

"Best news I've heard in a while," she said lightly, opening her yellow eyes once more and glancing at him. She gave him a small smile before glancing forward again, and Gaara felt his chest tighten. Ever since the war had ended, Kira seemed to have lost the headway she had made with looking him in the eyes for longer periods of time. Just what had happened to cause that?

The young ruler looked her over from the corner of his eye, glad that must of the bruising on her face had faded to nothing and the angry red of the skin where her stitches were had calmed down to a dull pink. He ran her medical sheet over in his head again, mentally checking her over.

Her leg had been the worst of it, a hole cut clear through bone and muscle right below her knee. It was still badly injured and tightly cased in a cast. She'd had some fractures in her ribs and clavicle, but those had been healed quickly in order to make sure they didn't worsen and cause complications. A deep cut to her side as well as her shoulder, both on the left side had been stitched up and even though Kira had managed to pull out a few that first day, Sakura had fixed it quickly. That had left the cuts on her face, one barely missing her left eye as it sliced through her cheekbone and eyebrow.

He hoped they didn't scar, as it would be a reminder to both of them about how close she'd come to dying and just how horrible the war had been. He was just glad it was over.

"So..." Kira started, meeting his eyes again. "Temari mentioned... that you spoke with your dad," she said softly, her hands in her lap, fidgeting as if she was working with her twine. She hadn't brought any of it with her. "Do you want to talk about it?" The way she said it, she was clearly giving him room to reject her offer. Kira had always been able to tell when he was bothered, but she hadn't asked him much about what had happened during the war on his side. Not until now. It seemed she had been waiting for them to be alone, and Gaara found it comforting to know she knew him well enough to see he didn't want to speak about any of it around many people. She'd become someone he confided in over the months they had become friends. Gaara hadn't even realized it until she'd asked that he was waiting for her to do so.

Gaara shifted a bit, pulling one knee up and rest his arm over it, staring ahead in thought. "He was brought back with other past Kage sent to attack us," he stated quietly. "He was surprised to see me there." He wondered if his father had thought maybe he had been killed. Technically that was true, but Gaara couldn't get the look on his father's face out of his head when Gaara informed him of his position. "He was shocked, unbelieving that I had taken his place and that I had friends, people that depended on me."

Kira made a scoffing sound and he glanced at her to see a look of contained anger on her face. It wasn't a surprise, since he knew how much she'd disliked his father. "His motives never made any sense to me," she grumbled. "Not when it came to you. At least I could understand why he did what he did with me...but I...I will never forgive him for what he did to you. It doesn't surprise me he never imagined you becoming who you are." Her words were as crisp as ice but Gaara couldn't find it in him to chastise her for them. He did however disagree with her finding reason in his father's motives towards her. Part of him wished he had thought to ask about it, but he hadn't. Kira's treatment made as little sense to him as his own did to her.

"Perhaps. Yet, I was grateful to him in our short encounter. He opened my eyes to things I had been so sure of, only to find out they were wrong."

"Like what?"

"My mother." It felt strange to say those words. Gaara had never personally spoken of her to anyone, not even Kira. It had only been mentioned once when she'd been crying, mourning the loss of her mother Meela. She'd mumbled out that he hadn't known his own mother and then cried harder. Gaara had never really thought much about it, hadn't brought it up because he knew it would probably embarrass her. "He told me the truth about her, and everything else."

Kira shifted behind him, her shoulder more firmly pressed against his own shoulder blade as she turned to look at him better, surprise written all over her face.

"What did he say?"

"That he miss led me in order to test my emotional stability. That he lied about my mother hating me and that in fact, she... loved me from the moment I was born." Gaara went on, recapping the events that had taken place with his father. Explaining his father's choices, that he forced Gaara's uncle to try and kill him, that in the end Yashamaru had never hated him, but loved him just like his mother. His father had given him the means to move on and heal wounds that Gaara had thought he would carry for the rest of his life. He told Kira that his father had told him he was proud of him in the end, that he was sorry for being a bad parent, and then he had revealed that it had always been his mother who had controlled the sand that made up Gaara's sand defense, not the one-tails.

Kira had stayed quiet and still through his explanation, the only sign that she was really there being the slight movement of her shoulder with every breath she took. When he was done and she still didn't say anything, he turned to look at her over his shoulder again and found her staring off into the distance with tears running silently down her face. The redhead flinched at the sight, surprise and worry smashing into him instantly at the sight. Why was she crying? Kira didn't cry much; this was only the second time he'd seen it. He knew she thought it was shameful, that it went against the code of the shinobi, but Gaara had tried to convince her other wise.

But why was she doing it now? He went over what he had said in his head, trying to figure out what could of upset her. He realized there was probably a lot that would upset someone, but he hadn't thought...

"I should have realized," she mumbled, lifting a hand to wipe at her face with the heel of it. "I never even thought to ask about it, I just assumed..." she looked at him, biting her lip and made eye contact, steady and determined for the first time in two weeks, despite the tears in them. "Of course your mother loved you, I could have told you that."

Gaara frowned. That was why she was upset? "Did you know?" The entire village had shunned him as a child, whispered about his mother's death, so why did she say something different from the rest, as if she wasn't surprised it was true. She sniffed a bit, but surprisingly didn't break eye contact with him. Gaara found himself absently counting the seconds.

"Well no. I mean, your father didn't say anything to me if that's what you mean but... I would ask about you, when I was little. My mom would normally divert my attention. But this one time I did ask about your mother because I had never seen her and I was still dealing with the fact that I didn't know my real parents. She said that she had been told by her husband... my dad, that your mother had died with a smile on her face, holding you."

Gaara often forgot that Meela's husband had not only been ANBU, but had also been one of three ANBU that his father had trusted the most along with his uncle and Korin. It appeared that her father had been there during the tragedy that was his birth. "She was smiling..." His father had said as much, but hearing it from Kira somehow made it even more impacting. Finally, the shadow user looked away, scrubbing at her eyes to will tears back.

"I'm so sorry, I never even thought to ask I..." She sniffled again, guilt clear in her voice. Guilt that Gaara found misplaced and unneeded. Of course she had never thought to ask, not when it had never even crossed her mind that such a thing hadn't been known. She'd been ignorant, but that was hardly her fault.

"You have done nothing wrong," he assured her, lifting the hand closet to her, the muscles in his shoulder moving against her own and reached over to touch her raised arm. She twitched at the contact, pulling her hands away to look at him. Her eyes were ringed red, but there was unwavering intensity in them. Strength hidden under pain. "Thank you Kira, for telling me. For caring." Caring enough that she'd started crying. He wasn't sure he would ever understand girls, but he understood Kira enough to know that her tears hadn't been for herself. She moved her hand from her face and grabbed his before he could withdraw it, a small smile on her face.

"Of course I care," she muttered, looking down. She paused for a long moment and Gaara wondered what she was thinking about. "I can't forgive him, but I can be thankful that in the end he told you the truth. Do you think it will help you?" She moved their hands so that they rested on the feathered back of the owl, in the small space between them. Gaara didn't mind the contact, he knew that it comforted her. While Kira had trouble with people touching her, the ones that she did let through that barrier became a source of strength she depended on. He'd seen it with his brother and her teammates and now, somehow Gaara had been given that same, absolute trust. She might have still been having trouble making eye contact with him for very long but he felt as if he were much closer to her than he had been before.

With that in mind, he turned his thoughts to her question, relaxing his neck as he looked forward, feeling like with their hands touching, he knew she was listening. He already knew the answer to her question, because he had said as much to his father before sealing him away. "I believe the knowledge is the treatment that will heal the wounds left behind from the past. It will take time, but things will change for the better." He wasn't sure how it would change him, but Gaara could feel the clarity of the truth as if it were a spot of warmth in his chest. He finally understood what it meant for parents to love their children. In some ways, it helped him understand his siblings better as well. After all, in the end, it was them who had raised and looked after Gaara and he was grateful that they were his family.

"I'm so happy for you Gaara," Kira muttered quietly. "I can't... wait to see what happens." Her voice was hopeful once again, like it had been the day they had parted ways for the war. He remembered the deal they had made, about the fireflies and Gaara found himself looking forward to the return of those bugs more then he would have thought one could.

For a long time they were silent, just the wind in his ears and the flapping of the owl's wings. Gaara lost track of time, lost in thought and memories, only stirring from them when the hand that had been gripping his suddenly loosen and the weight on his back shifted, the surface area of the pressure growing and something resting on the top of his shoulder. Startled he turned his head to ask what had happened but had to stop short when he realized a crown of black hair was in the corner of his vision. Tensing Gaara moved is head to look carefully at Kira, her side leaning against his back, her ear and jaw on his shoulder in relaxed dead weight. Her eyes were closed, lashes kissing cheek bones, neck angled sharply to rest where it was. Her breathing was slow and even and he could only stare at her in shock when he realized what had happened.

She'd fallen asleep against him.

Her hand was limp in his, fingers barely curled around his palm and Gaara swallowed, not sure what he should do. Was she playing around? "Kira?" He spoke quietly, nudging her slightly with his own shoulder, moving her. She didn't reacted, just took in a slightly deeper breath, her fingers twitching around his. She wasn't faking then, he realized; she really had fallen asleep.

He didn't doubt she was tired. Her injuries were still healing and rest was the best way the body healed. Gaara had just never thought...He had known she trusted him, had just been thinking about how much she truly did to allow such closeness, but this was different. She was unguarded, completely at the mercy of the world in this state. It made him realize she felt safe with him there.

Warmth bubbled up in his chest and a small smile twitched his lips up. Leaning back to balance out her weight difference Gaara relaxed, his hand curling tighter around hers. He knew then that this would be a moment that he would remember and cherish for the rest of his life.

I almost kept Neji alive in this story becuase of how stupid and unneeded his death was, but seeing as I had already changed a few thins, i decided to just give him a side romance - which I'll post once its edit. Also, FYI:

1) yes, I ship TenTen and Lee together, their perfect.

2) Yes I'm a shipper of the none canon Sakura X Sai, and yes I'm aware the story is over and thats not what happened. Too bad, its happening in this one. Why? Cause Sasuke's relatiopnship with her makes no sense. You dont appoligize to a girl to 'love' by using the same gesture your brother used on you when he was lying. Sai acually causes Saukra to have character growth. Enough said. So yeah there a bit of side shipping in the works, but the main focus is still with Gaara. Please don't review to argue with me on my choice, cause I'm not changing my mind.

Please Review, love you guys!

DROH