Chapter 28: Declaration

Unfiltered, unprocessed terror. It was something Kira normally didn't let herself feel so heavily. Fear wasn't something to ignore, but to use in her line of work, to push one forward and to win in a battle, but to let it cripple you was another story entirely. She'd felt a bit like a ghost, detached and numb, as Kakashi had agreed with Gaara about letting her leave. The red head knew basically everything she did and if something came up, they could ask her later, hopeful after she was done having a panic attack. So she'd left, trying to give her boyfriend a small smile when he gave her a worried glance.

She honestly wasn't sure how she'd kept her prosthetic working all that time and nearly lost her footing as she tripped out the door to the street outside. Her mind kept reeling, kept repeating the memories of how she'd found Korin's body. She had never thought it could be a fake. By the time the body was found, it and half decayed, and the fact that it had been mutilated before death was hardly odd considering ANBU were supposed to destroy their bodies if they knew they were going to die. Kira herself had a sealed jutsu that would act like a bomb if her heart stopped for longer than ten minutes.

The woman's words came back to her like a hissing ghost. Stray. Scavenger. Those were names used only by one person, a taunting, cruel way of reminding her she was an outsider. He'd been dead, and for years she'd worked to put him behind her and now… her hands wouldn't stop shaking.

She couldn't understand why he'd show up now of all times. If he'd been alive all this time, why wait three years? Had he been looking for weaknesses? She didn't even understand why he would do any of this. Korin had always seemed loyal to the Sand, and despite his cruelty she'd always known he did it to keep his home safe. Kira leaned against the wall of the building a pressed a hand over her eyes. None of this made sense and all of it was terrifying.

Calm down. Calm down. Think rationally about this.

Right. Because that was so simple to do when your personal demon comes back from the dead.

"You alright?" The calm male voice had her almost jumping out of her skin. In fact, she almost fell if it wasn't for the wall behind her as her control on the prosthetic faltered and almost slipped out from under her. She winced, hand dropping as her head jerked to the side, her hands braced against the building. Shikamaru was leaning on the door frame with his shoulder, hands in his pockets as he surveyed her calmly. Even with that nearly bored expression, Kira saw the traces of concern in his dark eyes, which kind of surprised her. They didn't know each other that well and honestly the only real connection they had was Temari. It was nice either way, but she was starting to get tired of hearing that question. She sighed and shook her head, looking across the street and eyeing a shop there.

"Would you be?" she asked finally and watched as he too sighed, nodding his head.

"Yeah, I guess I see your point. Must be a drag," he relented. "I don't really know the story but I can tell it's something bad. Won't push for you to tell me though. Just know you've got friends here okay?" It was an unexpected kind gesture from him and Kira felt her brows go up in surprise.

"Thank you..." she murmured looking down. It was nice that he didn't push for answers.

"No problem," he replied and pushed off from the door frame to walk completely outside. "I know you've got a lot on your mind, but did you still want to know what I found out?" His question took her a moment to really understand, mind reeling backwards. Somehow this morning, a few hours ago, seemed so distant after everything. He had wanted to talk, about what he'd found about her - her family, her history. Another heavy subject she supposed, which was why he was giving her the option to back out.

"No, it's fine," she said quickly, shaking her head. "Honestly... It would be a nice distraction." Something to occupy her mind other than memories of a monster in human skin and pain. Understanding flashed in those dark eyes and he nodded his head, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well, then we'll need to go to my family's compound, it's where I set things aside. I could tell you here but I always find things easier to believe if there's proof in front of me." He gestured for them to get going and Kira nodded, latching her chakra back onto the prosthetic more firmly and pushing away from the wall. The first step, like ever one of them, was a bit unsteady but Shikamaru waited patiently as she came up beside him and then matched her pace as he led her down the street.

They were quiet for a bit beside him inquiring on her condition, asking if she was doing okay, which she gave the same answer she was becoming used to giving. She was better than before, but it was taking time. Kankuro's design had helped a lot and even though she'd had it just one day it was easier to walk than the day before with the hospital made one. There was something uniquely artistic about puppet masters, she'd always liked watching her friend work. There was another long beat of silence after that before Shikamaru cleared his throat and looked to her again.

"So..." he drawled out as they turned a street corner. "You and the Kazekage eh?" He raised a single brow at her, giving her a lazy smile as she tensed up, having to throw her attention to her leg in order to not fall. Heat scattered across her face and she felt the nagging need to look away, to look down, but denied herself that. She wouldn't allow herself to be embarrassed about something that made her happy. So she took in a slow breath and mirrored his raised brow, cocking her head.

"Yeah… and?" She was almost gleeful when the boy looked unnerved and surprised by her counter attack before looking ahead of them again. Kira stared at him, waiting for some kind of reply but she got none. "Why?" she pushed, curious. He shrugged his shoulders in a typical lazy manor.

"Nothing it's just… interesting." He gave no further explanation, just started slowly sauntering off, leaving Kira to stare at his back, confusion rattling her brain. How was it interesting? Everyone had apparently seen it coming so why would it be a surprise? She bit back a sound of irritation at the lack answers today. Why did smart people always talk in riddles?

The Nara Compound was near the edge of the village, the back of it facing the thick forest surrounding the area. Kira remembered Temari telling her about a connection the family had with the wildlife, so it didn't surprise her. In fact it looked amazing. His home was spralling and old fashioned in design, one level with a wrapping deck and rice paper sliders that seemed popular in Konohana, the wood a dark oak left unstained. Shikamaru led her in at the front and Kira gave a disgruntled sound when she was force to sit on the lip of the entryway in the mudroom because she couldn't get her shoes off while standing yet. Her host didn't comment, just took the moment to look at it more closely.

Once inside, they were briefly greeted by his mother, a pretty women with long dark hair and smile lines. The leftovers of dark shadows under her eyes were covered up well enough by makeup Kira almost didn't see them, wouldn't have if she wasn't trained to see such small details. She wondered if it was from missing her husband, the older Nara having died in the war. She wondered how Shikamaru was dealing with it as well, though she doubt he would ever say anything to her. Tugging at a loose strand of hair, she suddenly regretted never meeting the man who'd planned the war.

In the end she didn't comment on it and they ended up in a side room with a low table and a huge shelving system on one side filled with scrolls and books. It was like a small library, only not as well organized and far more private. Shikamaru gestured for her to make herself comfortable and so Kira sat down at the table on the cushion with a bit of maneuvering do to her leg. She noted the scroll already placed on the table along with a small stack of papers; clearly he'd been prepared for this and Shikamaru only made that more clear as he sat down across from her, a slightly weary look on his face. Why was he nervous? Setting his hands on his folded legs he took in a breath, look straight at her and suddenly bowed his head.

"I owe you an apology," he stated firmly and Kira felt the shock that lanced through her chest like a bolt of lightning. She stared, confused at the boy across from her, mouth opening to say something, to demand or reassure him he'd done nothing to apologize for, but he spoke again before she could. "I haven't been completely honest with you about what I knew. I had an idea about you for a while, but I wanted to make sure before I got your hopes up," he explained , finally looking at her face, those dark eyes serious, unwavering in his words.

Confusion ran like a spooked cat around her skull, her brows pulling together at his words. Had he pondered on her background since the first time they'd met then? Him keeping information on her was unsettling, confusing but… she took in a slow breath through her nose. She found herself unable to muster any anger, or spite. Whether that was because in the end she didn't blame him or if she was just too emotionally drained she didn't know.

"I understand," she assured him, giving him a small smile, one of her hands idly brushing over the smooth metal of the prosthetic as her legs laid curled off to the side. The distraction of the texture helped keep her mind steady, her heart less frantic. "I would probably have done the same." After all, false hope can sometimes hurt more than the truth. Leaning forward, she rested her other hand on the space between the pillows on the ground, fingers twitching. "Just tell me now." She barely got the words out evenly, cursing her sudden lack of a spine. Shikamaru nodded his head, and placed both hands on the table, clasped.

"I'd heard of something close to your power a few years ago. The power to use shadows like a portal into a different world and to travel from place to place using them. My father told me about them briefly, he said it was much like a Kekkei Genkai in the way that it only existed within a certain blood line, but that it didn't involve two different chakras which is why is wasn't considered one." He weaved his fingers together more tightly on the table and Kira found she couldn't really look away from him, not when his words triggered connections in her mind she'd only thought of once, briefly, before pushing away. It had been foolish to even ponder.

"Your father?" she murmured in question, because that was the main clue he had dropped around the truth he skirted. "Why would he know?" She didn't know if she wanted the answer or not, though she knew he was going to give her one. The urge to move, to leave to run coiled in her still present leg, her hand curling on the ground.

"That would be because, Kira," Shikamaru answered, "he was telling me stories of my family, our family, that day." It was confirmation that part of her didn't really need, but something felt like it was knocked loose from her chest anyway, a spring in a clock unjamming finally. She felt the air in her lung woosh from her like a great wind. She couldn't seem to find words, couldn't connect her brain to her mouth at she stared at him. What could one say to that? Finding out that you had family, that one of them was standing right in front of you. She'd been wrong to think she could handle this.

"So what are you saying then?" she murmured, weariness entering her mind.

"It's not exactly was you're think but… here," he replied and quickly plucked up the scroll on the table, unraveling it and setting it down flat in front of them. The lines and names falling down the page told Kira is was a family tree, one that dated rather far back if the dates were true. Little dots of brighter color laid next to different names, some red, some blue, some white - a system of sorting no doubt. A hand appeared on the paper, Shikamaru training her eye to follow a pointer finger as it went down a particularly section - one that split off three generations back and seemed to create an offshoot. "This would have been my dad's great, great uncle. One of three children in the succession and the only one of the three that had the ability I spoke of before, while the other learned the justus I have - shadow strangle and stitch and the like. The other was genetic as I said before, and only a parent could pass it down, but that uncle - Kosuke, apparently fell in love with a women from a small village near the border of the Land of Rivers."

Not the Leaf then? Kira found herself blinking, realizing that the ink color changed slightly in the new branch, brown instead of red. Land of Earth instead of Fire. "He just… left?" she managed to ask and the boy across from her tilted his head.

"Well, they didn't force him to stay or anything. This was back before Konoha was built so a great deal of clans just wandered. Kosuke was required to stay in touch to a certain degree, as would all of his descendants. Reporting family lineage and such; nothing very substantial, just names and if that ability was passed on. So that branch of the Nara broke off from this one, and as you can see," he moved his finger down the family line, and Kira read as the name changed from 'Nara' to 'Toshiyami-Nara' a hyphenated last name. "The daughter of that line two generations later married and took his name, but kept ours as the clan stated." His fingers continued down, two more generation to the last joint pair, one that as Kira looked lined up with Shikamaru's parents. There was a line below those names, but she couldn't get her eyes too look to it, couldn't even read the names. Something about it was frightening. She looked back up at him, still confused, still wondering how he thought it was her.

"This is nice and all bu-t," her voice cracked and she swallowed, eyes flickering back down at the paper again. "It seems like your family kept pretty good tabs on things, and as I said I can't remember my young years below six so..." That was the mystery, the question that haunted her steps. Why would she have been found wandering the desert alone if she'd had family in a different country entirely. She tried to ignore the fact that the Land of Rivers was rather close to the border of the Land of Wind. Shikamaru pulled his hand back, threading both back together on the table.

"I know it seems like a long shot, but here's why I see a connection." His eyes closed, thoughtful, but tight, like the word he were to speak wouldn't be easy. Kira braced herself, it could be good new if he was acting like that. "About twelve years ago that small village that section of the Nara clan was in, was raided and destroyed by a group of rogue ninja. There weren't many survivors from it. We didn't hear about it for a while because we didn't have much contact with them, but when they didn't send their yearly report people got concerned. My father sent a scout to look into it and they reported back that there were no signs of that branch left. After speaking with people he had found graves of the two who had been living in the address." He glanced down, and Kira's eyes followed, back to those two name, really seeing the colored dots now, seeing the red of them, and the ones before them, the one on his father's name. His words sent a tremor through her, skittering up her skin like a spider. She swallowed.

"I see...so..."

"They had a little girl," Shikamaru cut in, stopping her from her slowly escalating panic at she stared at the names. Siaka Toshiyami-Nara and Tomoawi Toshiyami-Nara. They didn't mean anything to her, not the barest of things yet… yet she couldn't stop staring as he spoke. The name directly below them had been covered with a small piece of paper taped down and she was oddly thankful for it. "She would have been around my age, a year older. I never met her, too long of a journey for someone my age, but they did send a photo." Papers rustled and Kira blinked as a photo was indeed placed in front of her, over the names she'd been staring at.

It was old, the edges worn, the crisp lines of color bordering it beginning to fade, but most of it was in good condition, the people in it clear as day. Kira felt her lower lips tremble and bit it to make it stop. The parents, still young, maybe early thirties, were smiling. The man had long black hair tied back in a tail much like Shikamaru's, though the hair was longer than his and he had dark green eyes, a hardened build from working. The lady beside him was shorter, smaller in bone mass and stature, with curling blond hair and hazel eyes.

They stood slightly behind the third person, a child, quiet young with coloring closer to her father's, her hair jaw length as she peered up at the camera with delight. Her eyes, a bright shade of gold, stared Kira down and pinned her there, those eyes so very familiar to her. If was if that girl had been copied straight from the picture in her room back in Suna, with different parents behind her but the same hair, and same eyes.

She couldn't breath.

There was so little doubt now, so little for her to deny with that photo, yet Shikamaru seemed to think even a slight amount was too much and spoke again.

"The letter that originally came with the photo, also explained that she had shown signs of Shadow Dance, the ability only that branch of Nara possessed. They never found the girl's body, she wasn't with her parents, so she was labeled missing and was looked for but..." He raised his shoulders in a shrug, sighing. "They never found her, saying it was possible with such a small body that the carian animals could have been the cause."

The room went silent. There was a buzzing in her ears, all that information like little bees swarming and diving in her brain. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, letting it sink in, letting her mind concentrate on her breathing. She'd wanted so badly to know, ever since she'd woken up in Suna - who she was, where she'd come from. Now it seemed hard to swallow, too bulky and sharp to try and sink down into her form. Kira had never really expected anything like this, had always assumed her family was dead and nameless. Everything in front of her, even the boy - her cousin she realized - proved that wrong.

"I had… wondered," she whispered finally, her lips trembling slightly at the effort to get her thoughts out. "Had played with the idea once, after Temari told me about your family's jutsu. Played with and then quickly dismissed it." Looking at Shikamaru she hardly felt the pricking in her eyes, the overflow and the sliding of tears down her face that cause his eyes to widen slightly. "I never imagined it would be true..."

To his credit, Shikamaru recovered quickly, giving her a half smile in comfort, relaxing a bit now that the hard part was over. "As far as I can tell it is Kira. I'm afraid due to the distance in our family tree a blood test, wouldn't prove anything, but everything else does." He folded his hands back together and looked her straight in the eyes, a smirk falling into place. "I told you I'd help you find your family, but I don't think either of us thought at the time I already had. You are a Nara, Kira, and whether you want that title, whether you want to claim the name on this tree as your own, that's up to you. I covered it, just in case."

She gave him a grateful look. The ghost of curiosity itched at her but she batted it away; she knew that answer already. Wiping at her eyes with a free hand she shook her head slightly.

"Whatever they named me, it doesn't really matter, I don't remember that person. The people who raised me gave me my name and I don't intend to stop using it now." It wasn't that she wasn't thankful to her birth parents; she wasn't rejecting her heritage, wasn't trying to say she wasn't that long lost girl. It was just to change her name now, after twelve years, would feel like the real betrayal to her adoptive parents. "If it that could be noted somewhere..." she trailed off, biting at her lip.

"I'll make note of it, but it can't be changed until you are officially recognized as part of the clan again. Nothing complicated, just a few of the elders need to meet you at some point. You'll also need to decide how you'll deal with your last name, but that can wait for now. I'm sure you have a lot to think about. I certainly did when I figured it out." He stood easily, moving around the table and holding a hand out to her and smiled lazily. "Whatever you decide, I'm glad I was able to put one of my father's regrets to rest."

Kira glanced at his hand for a moment, and then back at his face. The boy was younger than her by a year, much like Gaara, but somehow he carried himself in a way that made him to much older. Still, the formal stiffness he carried wasn't him, and Kira felt as if it were wrong, this gesture, so she stood up as well. He was family, after all, and she had known him beforehand as well, trusted him, even. Still, she found herself surprised by her own actions as she by passed his hand up and hugged him.

She felt him stiffen, flinch in surprise at her actions. She simply let him process it and rested her chin on the boy's shoulder. "Thank you, for finding me." She had never been lost, not really, but her past had been along with her identity. She'd made a new one, a new home and new life, but it was one built without foundation. He'd unearthed it for her, and suddenly the events of the day didn't seem so awful with some good news.

Like everything, Shikamaru got over his shock again quickly and while he gave an exaggerated sigh, she felt his arms wrap around her shoulders in return. "You women and your hugs, honestly. It's kind of a pain," he grumbled and Kira knew he didn't mean it from his tone. "You're welcome...You'll always have a place here, if it's ever needed. Doubtful but, nh, it's here."

Doubtful indeed given her home in Suna, her life there, but it was still nice to hear the words, to know she had family to fall back on, not just friends. Family… it was going to take a long time for Kira to get use to the idea of that.

Or maybe not much time at all.

…

When it had become clear that the ninja from Suna would be staying in Konoha for a while, they'd been moved to a housing unit set aside for dignitaries and other Kage like Gaara himself. It was a large home, meant to compensate for guards and possible family members, which suited them just fine down to the last person. It was certainly more comfortable than rooms at an inn with its sprawling design and wrap around deck. Gaara sat on the deck now, arms crossed as he started out over the small garden in the back. A pond held a trickling fountain in it and the soothing sound of the bamboo hitting the rocks as it became full was a comfort to his busy mind.

So much had happened in such a small amount of time. He often found himself processing it all over again when he had moments alone. He ran a hand over his face and sighed, letting his arms drop onto his lap for once. Somehow, the day felt more tiring than normal.

"My thoughts exactly," a slightly amused voice piped up from behind him and Gaara would have turned to look at them, would have maybe even twitched at the sudden arrival, but he knew that voice. He knew it because just the sound of it made him feel better. From the corner of his eye he saw her sit down next to him, one bare foot of skin and bone while the other shined with metal and wood. Kira gave him a smile as she rested her back on one of the support beams to her left. "You alright?"

That seemed like a question he should be asking her.

He didn't understand how she managed to smile. She'd been given two separate heavy topics in one day and while one was a good thing, he couldn't imagine any of it was easy to digest. He'd only gotten the second telling of what she'd learned from Shikamaru, and he'd still been left surprised.

Gaara hadn't really thought about the possibility that Kira could be a Nara; sure they had similar abilities but just because one was good at fire jutsu didn't mean you were an Uchiha. Now that they were pretty sure she was a Nara he could see it, not just in powers but in other ways. They had similar coloring, though black hair certainly wasn't rare. Something about them standing next to each other did give off a similar vibe now that he knew. It was a strange world, and one he really didn't want to understand completely. He was just happy that she'd gotten some good news after the earlier news.

Korin. Gaara still couldn't believe the man was alive and that for some reason he was targeting his own homeland. He needed to speak with the elders back in Suna; somehow the man slipping through the cracks like that seemed fishy to say the least. He need to figure out what was going on before the man came after him, which seemed to be the goal in all of this.

While Kira had been learning about her family, Gaara had been speaking with Kakashi regarding the information they'd gotten. A lot of it had been informing the silver haired ninja about Korin Esly up to the moment he'd been 'confirmed dead'. They'd gone over motivations, the random pillaging in villages and then the rather well planned attack in his team. Gaara had agreed that it was most likely in an attempt to get him, but as to why they weren't sure. Motivations aside, the rogue ninja needed to be taken care of, they'd just needed more intel first.

It was decided that because of the loss of powerful members under Korin there was little chance of him doing anything more for a while. They still needed to locate his hideout and survey it for a time, try to figure out what was going on. That would take time and the Hokage would be taking care of that for the most part. There wasn't much of a reason for Gaara to stay much longer after that conversation had been finished and all of that had led up to the present.

Today was the last day he'd be in Konoha, a thought that he'd been dreading for the past week since his brother had arrived. He was a leader and as much as he wanted to stay, he needed to return home. With the arrival of the ANBU team that would be his escorts arriving early that morning it was now set in stone. He'd be leaving Kira here and while she wouldn't be alone he didn't like doing it.

Her injuries were healing but her road to recovery would be long. She had better care here than in Suna as it were and asking her to travel such long distances as of now was out of the question. She wasn't the only one though; her team leader, Shura, had woken up but was still for the most part out of commission. His broken legs were healing nicely but the blow to his head had been worrying for someone of his age. He was to be released from the hospital in the next few days if nothing happened. Because of all of this and the Korin problem it had been decided that Team Fukuro would stay in Konoha with his sister while Kankuro and himself traveled back home.

"I don't like any of this," he admitted after a moment because really, why try to tell her anything but the truth? Kira deserved it after everything, most of all from him. "I don't want to leave you behind." He'd promised he wouldn't in some ways, that he'd always be there for her. Now though… that was impossible with a three-day run between them. They'd hardly been able to do much of anything together since that day in the therapy room. Just stolen moments, quiet meals with his family and the short walks that Sakura permitted. He was staring down at his hands, palms up, fingers slightly curled, thinking about how little they'd acted different – should they be? – and winced at the thought of what distance might do. After a moment, lighter skinned fingers gently took his hand, her thumb rubbing at the outside curve of it. Gaara blinked once before looking back up to find she'd leaned forward, arm outreached, her amber eyes filled with a sad understanding that darkened them.

"I know, but I'll be fine. We both will be," she assured him, giving him a small smile. "A month isn't that long and by then Sakura thinks I'll be good to go back with you." She was talking about when he comes back, a month from now when they planned to take down Korin. She was right that a month wasn't that long, but it felt long. Longer still when he thought about how long it took them to get to this point in their relationship. No more wondering, no more fretting glances and misunderstood words. They were together.

It was still a bit of an odd thing to really think about.

He needed to talk to his brother about it, maybe get some advice from the male perspective. Kankuro wasn't the best as sensitive matters but Gaara didn't really have anyone else to turn to either. It was predicament the redhead wasn't quite sure of how to deal with. It didn't mean he was completely clueless though, and as she'd said before the small shift between them didn't change that much. He still knew her better than almost anyone.

He let his hand curl around hers in response.

"It's not," he agreed finally. "With everything that has happened it seems longer. Promise me that you will take it easy, even with the training." He knew her regiment would start including her normal training routine from before the loss of her leg soon. It was the best way to figure out if she would still be able to handle her roles as a ninja and as his guard. If she failed, if she couldn't build her strength up to what the medical ninja saw as acceptable, she'd likely be told she was a liability. If that happened, Gaara would have no choice but to force her into a early, honorable retirement from her lifelong job. He didn't want to even think about having to do that to her, not when he knew she would more than likely become lost in her life, having everything she'd ever known taken from her. It wasn't that he thought she wouldn't be able to find something new to do, he was sure she could if given time, but he wasn't sure she'd be happy with it. If she'd be able to put her heart into it like she did in her current role, dangerous as it was.

"About that," Kira piped up at the subject and he raised his brows silently at her, wondering just what she was up to. He watched her worry her bottom lip before tugging at a strain lock of hair, pushing it behind her ear. "I will take it easy but, I'm also not going to just sit around. I have to work to get back to where I was before and I do intend to do just that." She shifted her weight on the deck, moving to face him completely. "I know you don't have a lot of say in what happens while you're gone, but this thing with Korin…I can't just pretend it's not happening." She was skirting her own words again. It was a trait he'd picked up on a while back, a nervous habit to try and somehow soften her next word because she knew they wouldn't go over well. He already didn't like where this was going, seeing as it had something to do with her old… teacher.

"What are you getting at?" He had a feeling he was going to regret asking. Kira shifted a bit, hesitating only a moment longer before meeting his eyes.

"If I pass Sakura's evaluation over the next few weeks, if she deems me field capable again… I need you to let me be part of the team taking down Korin." Her words left no real room for being unsure, for worry or second thoughts. Kira had thought about this long enough to be certain, Gaara could hear that much in the strength of her voice. It didn't, however, cause the effect he was sure she'd wanted as surprise rippled through him followed quickly by frustration. She couldn't be serious.

"Kira," he said eventually, firmly and watched her stiffen slightly at his tone. It was a hard balance to find between speaking to her as her leader and as her boyfriend, but in this case, it was a pretty cut and dry choice: neither side of him liked her idea at all. "Given the history that the two of you have, I don't believe that this is a very smart choice. I don't want you anywhere near that man." Then again, maybe it was a bit more one side then the other. Kira seemed to see that too and drew her hand from his, frowning.

"You don't need to protect me," she pointed out, but even as she said that a part of his brain said yes, he did.

"You've been through enough Kira," he argued, his heart clenching as he tried to not look down at her legs. He still heard her screams sometimes echoing in his ears, saw her blood on the ground. She'd suffered and he hadn't been able to stop it. "Let someone else deal with this-"

"I can't!" her outburst cut him off, stopping his words dead in his throat because Kira never snapped like that. Her eyes, the liquid gold in them had hardened, turning glassy with a wetness that made him want to shrink back. "I refuse to run away from it Gaara," she went on, her hands clenching in her lap. "I know you just want me safe but I'm not a coward and Korin... I've been running from him for too long as it is. I thought I had closure when he died but..." She trailed off and shook her head. "I never faced him, never truly got away from him. This might be the only chance I get to really, truly move past all of it."

Closure.

She wanted the monster in her past to finally be put to rest. Gaara knew that feeling all too well, that dogging feeling of never truely moving forward because things had never been settled. He'd gotten to put his to rest during the war when he'd spoke with his father and he'd finally learned the truth. He had thought that maybe she'd gotten that when she'd learned who her birth family was but it appeared that was only part of it.

Facing one's own demons was never easy, but the steel in her eyes was enough to make him second guess his own resolve to keep her from the battle, despite everything. Gaara recalled his talk with Rock Lee weeks ago, about how no matter how he felt about something that had to do with Kira, in the end, he truly didn't have a say in her personal life. It was true that asking to be part of a mission didn't relate to her personal life, but the object of the mission could be seen as that.

Did he have any right to stand in her way in this? She had at least asked him to let her do so. She could have simply gone to Kakashi instead once Gaara was no longer in Kohana, but she hadn't. They had, after all, said they'd try to be better about communicating things to each other. He didn't want to see her in danger again but he also knew that if she did get back out in the field, even if it wasn't against Korin, she'd be in danger. It was what both of them had chosen in life. Slowly, he reached out with the same hand and ran it over one of her clenched ones, never taking his eyes from her own.

"Promise me you'll get Temari's approval as well and I'll agree to it," he spoke softly, watching as she blinked in surprise a few times. Maybe she'd thought it would be harder to convince him and truthfully he didn't like it, yet he knew he couldn't just shield her from everything. This was something she had to do is she could. The smile that crept up onto her face helped ease the tension in his chest and mind though and she nodded her head.

"I promise," she complied, biting her lip slightly, a nervous habit. "Thank you Gaara, I know it's not easy to let me do this." She fidgeted for a moment, flipping her hand over and threading her fingers through his once more again. She was right, it wasn't easy, but it had to be done.

"You're not just my subordinate Kira. I'm not sure I've seen you that way for a long time," he admitted. "Just be careful. I don't want to see you get hurt again." It would tear him apart, he wanted to say, but the part of him that was Kazekage couldn't let him, not when they were so far from home. No when ears could be listening in. Kira tilted her head and nodded slightly as if understanding his lack of words. She understood him in a way most didn't and that was a comfort. Glancing away, back at the fountain in front of him, he felt a heaviness that came with inevitable outcomes stretch out before them. "I suppose that's all we can truly do in the next month." Apart. He didn't want to say it again and oddly they hadn't spent so much time apart since truly first meeting.

"Gaara?" her quiet tone turned his attention back more than his name and the red head turned his head to look at her only to realise she'd moved closer. Much closer. His gaze was met with her near throat as something warm pressed against his forehead, right over the scare he'd carved into his own skin. He completely locked up, feeling heat flush straight up his neck, eyes widening as his brain clicked everything into place.

Kira was kissing him.

Perhaps not in the more common way; it was almost in a family sense, something his sister had done to him once or twice. Something that he'd seen mothers do to children. Yet the placement, right over the kanji for love seem to be closer to that of couples sharing a similar gesture because this wasn't all that brief and small. The fact that she was touching his scar like that…

Something in his chest uncoiled at the affection and instead of shying from it like he might have, he simply tilted his head towards her's slightly and felt her other hand run over the top of his head, brushing back hair. He didn't know what to do with his free hand at all and found that a bit too embarrassing even as Kira pulled back slightly and just rested her forehead to his, not saying a word for a long time, her breath simply scattering over his face. He left his eyes drop shut slightly, revealing in the warm glow their closeness created.

"I love you," she whispered out finally, so quietly Gaara nearly didn't hear it, though the shock it sent through his chest was still enough to make everything fuzzy in feeling. He'd known since the day in the hospital room, but hearing her say it...he couldn't make anything in his brain work correctly. "I always will," she went on and something brushed against his scar again, rougher and callused, likely her hand once more. "Knowing that hardly makes time very relevant at all, does it?"

It did more than that, and she had to know it but Gaara still found his eyes closing at the words, enjoying them. They were true and it made him feel happy in a way he never had.

"Kira... I," he paused finding his reply locked tight in his throat. Surely it couldn't be that hard, yet fear still found it's way in through tiny cracks. Fear set into place from a young age that everyone he loved either died or betrayed him. He knew better than that, he knew Kira and yet…

"Don't tell me now," Kira teased lightly and pulled back, the loss of her touch more painful than he would have thought as her fingers lingered in his hair a moment longer. He opened his eyes and met her own, curious as to why she'd say that. She just smiled and let her hand drop from his. "Tell me when we go home together. It will give me something to look forward to." It seemed despite her words having him gone would hurt her just as much. The idea of such a promises, much like the one made before the war, made his lips tug up at the corners. She always knew exactly what to do in times like these, didn't she? He wondered if she knew herself just how well she handled it.

"I will," he promised her and she smiled, leaning her back against the beam again. He glanced over her face, at her calm expression as she stared out over the scene before them. Gaara knew he wasn't very good at expressing things or telling people what he thought and that was much the same even with his family and Kira. Most of his thoughts stayed just that, never voiced to the world. Yet, watching her, looking at the liquid gold of her eyes and the way the breeze caught at her hair, Gaara really let himself realise how beautiful she really was. Not just pretty. She didn't stand out perhaps like many others did, she was trained not too. Yet something about her coloring and the way she held herself made her stand out to him at least. He told himself that was another thing he'd tell her upon returning in a month.

Till then, he'd enjoy the moments they had like this, the quiet calm between them and the warmth they shared because these moments came so far and few between. Gaara pushed those thoughts aside quickly and ran his thumb over the back of her hand, her fingers tightened in response. She was there, with him and her touch and words still lingered in his heart and on his skin like the warmth of sun on desert sand. Despite everything that he was, everything that he had been, she loved him and that was all he needed to know.

N/A: Really hoping people get Shikamaru's private joke ;).