Your head began to pound as you slowly found yourself waking up. Smelling a sweet scent, you pryed your eyes open. Body aching, you forced yourself to get up. Opening your bedroom door, you could hear a soft humming filling the house. This calms you, but only for a moment. For the memories of the night's event flashed through your mind. His rage, his pain...your guilt. Why did you come back? Why didn't you go forward. He gave you the option to do so. So why didn't you take it?
"My child? Are you awake? If you are, go wash up, breakfast is almost done." Her voice startled you out of your thoughts. Going back into your room, you searched through the dresser that contained various sizes of children's clothing. Rummaging around, you finally found something that might fit your new body. Absent-mindedly, you walked to the bathroom. Not even bothering with closing the door behind you, you began to undressed. Entering into the shower, you let the cold water wash over you. The frigid water ran down your body, leaving trails of goosebumps through out. Placing your head against the bathroom tiles, the sound of the rushing water soon began to fade.
Disgustng pice of shit! Shut te fuck up ad stop squirming! I can't stad t smell him o you!!Next leson: Cold wter imersion...time set for
"My child? Are you almost done?"
You blinked rapidly, letting the memories fade. Getting out, you opened your eyes wide as you faced the mirror that hung above the sink. For a small moment you couldn't process the image that stood infront of you. Walking closer, you laid your fingers against the mirror. You traced over the dark bangs that could be seen under your eyes. Trailing your fingers down on the mirror, they followed the scars that littered your body. The history of each scar flashed through your mind as you traced over them. Each one representing a time you wished to forget. But other than that. You felt...nothing...just an empty void.
Chara...can I ask you something.{Oh I know what you're thinking. "Why don't I have any scars from any of the monster attacks?" Right?}
You nodded your head.
{Because monsters don't actually do real physical harm to you. They can't cause lingering damage since they don't have hate in their soul, like humans. All wounds from them can be completely healed with monster food.}
But...Sans..{Stupid, did you forget. He kills you pretty quick and you load to the time before he even laid a boney finger on you.}
Having no more questions, you shut your eyes before getting dressed. Fully clothed in a large green shirt and baggy brown pants, you noticed that the clothes looked familer. Walking out of the bathroom, with your sweater in your arms, you ran into Toriel who had come to look for you.
"Oh my child, I was just about to pick up your clothes to put in the wash." Giving her your clothes to her, she smiled softly at your new clothes. "Those used to belong to a young boy around your age. He had quite a mouth, but full of energy." She softly said as she pat your head before leaving.
So, they used to belong to bravery.
Smiling softly, you hugged yourself, hoping that a little of his courage couldseep into you. Sitting down at the kitchen table, you ate the food she had prepared for you; enjoying every bite. A couple of times you had to readjust the oversized shirt, since it kept sliding down. While finishing your breakfast, you heard Toriel gasp. Looking up, you saw her eyes were wide open with her paw covering her mouth.
'Mom?' Toriel hovered her paw over a scar that peeked above your shoulder.
"My child...how...who did.." Your lowered your head, fixing your shirt once more. Letting out a quiet sigh, you gave the brightest smile you could muster.
'Breakfast was great. Do you think you could help me dry my hair now?' Toriel looked at you with tears daring to leak. Smiling sadly she wrapped you in her warm embrace.
"Of...course, my child."
Sitting next to the fireplace, your head laid comfortably on Toriel's legs as her paws gave off a warming air of magic against your hair. She was so soft and warm, that you found yourself drifting off to sleep. When you opened your eyes, you found a warm blanket over you. Getting up, you tried looking for her. But you stopped as you stood next to the stairs. Looking down, you feel your heart pounding loudly against your ear. Going downstairs, you heard Toriel talking once more through the stone doors. Enjoying her joyful voice, you decided to sit against the wall. Listening to her as she talked about herself, occasionally saying a couple of puns along the way.
"The human? What about them?..." You stirred from your seat as her flirtatious voice changed. "I am sorry, but no. I will not let you talk about them in such a manner." Feeling intrusive, you quietly left your spot. "I will do no such thing!" Her voice grew louder, causing you to leave.
Chara...I'm doing no good, being here. Am I...{Nope, so why don't you stop whatever this bullshit is and hurry up and free them!}
Walking back to your room, you found your clothes folded neatly on your bed. Pulling up your baggy sleeves, your finger traced over the darker scars. Feeling the grooves as it went through out your skin.
They're ugly aren't they...
Disgusting...Worthless... Pathetic... Unlovable...
Changing back to your clean clothes, you walked out of Toriel's home. Ignoring all of Chara's pestering, you made your way through the Ruins. Easily dodging and giving mercy to those you cross, you made it back to the bed of flowers. Looking up, you stared at the entrance where you first had fallen in. Staring up at the sky, you waited. Waiting to feel something...anything but the hollow dark feeling that crept inside your chest. You weren't to sure how long you had been standing there as you watched the clouds pass by, but you turned around when you felt somone watching you.
"Gived up, didn'tcha?" Flowey sneered as he stood infront of you. Smiling at him, you flopped to the ground beside him. "W-what? What are you doing?!"
'Sitting?'
"I CAN SEE THAT YOU IDIOT! But why!"
'I was waiting for you to show up.' Flowey looked baffled as you signed this. Not really believing you. 'It's true, silly. Who else would be out here?' Not understanding why you would want to. He asked if you were toying with him, but you just laughed and said that he was not a toy. Just a friend that you wished to sit with.
"Do you think I care?! Do whatever you want! It's not like you have anything for me take anyway!" So you did, you sat there idly signing random things that came to your mind. He would call you an idiot every now and then, but he never left. After running out of things to talk about, you two sat there in silence as the warmth of the sun passed through the entrance. After a while, you felt yourself hum. A soft simple tune you felt you heard in a past of time. Flowey's face scrunched up as he heard it, wondering why it sounded so familiar to him. Not feeling afraid or ashamed being near him, you took a deep breath, and started to sing. Ruff at first, but soon your voice returned.
"It's not fair to be aloneAfter what you've been through.So let me just ease your pain,Please let me stay with you.I'll continue to reach out.I won't abandon you.Determination fuels meTo keep trying to save you.I will give you my mercyBecause it's clear to me.Fighting won't solve anything.Forgiveness isn't easy.I will stay here by your side.I know it's frightening"
You stopped once you heard soft sobbing. Looking towards Flowey, you saw him looking down as he tried to stop his own tears from falling. "Flowey?" Looking at you, his eyes widen with shame.
"W-why? Why am I...why...are you..." unable to say anything clear over his struggle to not cry out, you reached down and gently wrapped your arms over him. This startled him as he tried to push you away, sputtering insults at you. But you only got closer, smothering your face against his petals. Unable to break free, he let out a loud wail. You continued to embrace him until his sobbing subsided. "F-Frisk...what...what happened?" Releasing him, you looked at him.
'You...remember?'
"You IDIOT! You were free! Why did you come back!"
'I...couldn't...' your hands began to shake, making it harder to sign.
"Couldn't what! You were finally gonna leave! Be free with all those idiots! Why...why.."
'I couldn't...hold on. I tried, I really did...but...I...I wasn't strong enough.'
"Chara..." he whispered out. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you nodded. "I remember, pieces, but I...remember. They dragged you back, didn't they." Having nothing else to say, you two sat there in silence. After a while he cleared his throat, glancing towards him, you could see his eyes were puffy. "Look, just go back. I want to be alone for a bit." You pat his petals, smiling warmly at him. He sneered at you, trying to shake you off. Getting up, you waved goodbye.
'And Flowey?' He gave you a side glance, 'I didnt give up.' Smiling warmly you left.
"...idiot."
Walking towards the front door of Toriel's house, you heard soft whimpering. Your hand hovered over the doorknob, not sure on what you should do. You should be worried, you should be confused or curious... You told yourself that you had to walk inside and check on her. See if she was okay. But, you couldn't muster the strength to do so. Deep inside you felt that your presence would only make things worse. That you found yourself sitting against the door. You felt so tired. So worn.
{Help her...} How...{By leaving. Trust me}
Resting your forhead on your knees, you didn't notice the monster hovering infront of you.
"O..ohh...um..." Looking up, you almost showed him your eyes in suprise.
'Napstablook?'
"You know who I am? Ohh...I'm...I'm sorry...I don't remember you...oohhh..." The ghost seemed so ashamed that somone knew him but he couldn't remember back, that you laughed a bit.
'Am I in your way?'
"Oh! Uh...no..I mean. It's okay...I could come back later, I'm sorry." Before he could float away, you ran infront of him to stop him.
'Don't say sorry. It's fine. Where you heading out of the Ruins?'
"Uh...yes, I was going to go back. Um..."
'Don't worry. I'm not stopping you. Go on ahead cutie!' You signed with a sly grin playing across your face. You tried really hard not to laugh as you saw the pale ghost stuttering with a deep red blush across his face. Something about his reaction caused you to feel a small rush that warmed your heart. 'What's wrong? Don't you want to go?' Signing as you got closer to him.
"Uh..uh..I..I-I mean...yes..um..uh..guess..I'll..uh..see..."
'Names Frisk. It was very nice to meet you. Maybe I'll meet you again?'
"I-if...you...want, I mean..." leaning close, you placed your lips on the side of his cheek. Napstablook gave of a small yelp, before running through the front door. Seeing his reaction caused you to laugh. Feeling once more that warmth that filled your heart.
{Werido...why did you do that?} Did you see that smile? They way he blushed?{You mean if I saw you flirting with a ghost before scaring him off, than yeah.} I actually felt something! Something else beside sorrow, beside this ...this empty feeling...{You're acting pretty werid. You know, being souless and all.} Souless...
You had almost forgot. Your smile grew smaller as the small rush left you. Feeling alone, you entered the house. Hearing the door close, Toriel stepped out of her room. It was clear she was trying to hide the fact that she was crying as she welcomed you home. "Look at the time. I didnt know it was so late. I'll get started with preparing dinner." You followed her as she went to the kitchen. Standing by the kitchen's entryway, you noticed how she fumbled around. Wanting to know...to know what action you had to take, you placed your hand ontop of her arm. She looked at you warmly, asking you if there was something you wanted.
'Mom, why where you crying?' Her eyes widen for a second, but she quickly hid it.
"Oh my child, I wasn't crying."
'I heard you crying and there's still tear stains on your fur. Did I...'
"No my child, it..." she sighed as she pet your head. "I just had a small fight with a friend of mine." You didn't believe her, she wouldn't be crying if it was something small. You knew she was stronger than that.
'Mom?' Her shoulder began to shake, unable to bare to show you her face, she held you tightly in her arms.
"He lied to me sweetie. All this time...I...I thought...everything we said...everything...it was all a lie. He already knew it. Knew all of it! It..." You patted her as she held on to you tighter. "It was just a game to him! It had to be! ...he was just...manipulating me into..into...and all those things he said about you..and...how dare he after...after..."
"Shh." You whispered out trying to comfort her. She held on to you for awhile. The strong monster that gave you comfort, shook in your arms. What if, you didn't come back. Would she have been like this? If you continued forward...would she be holding on to you this tightly? Could you have prevented all this, if you where only stronger?
You are weak.
Burying your face deep into her soft neck, you knew the reason why you came back.
You wanted this. This warmth, this need. To be with her, in her care, her protection. Never moving forward, to lose yourself.
But, it's not right.
When she did let go, she looked so embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, my child. I should not have told you so much." You shook you head before smiling at her. You didn't like how she looked. Weak, vulnerable...heart broken.
'It's ok. I don't mind. Besides, he must be very blind to have hurt you.'
"What do you mean my child?"
'Cause if you were words on a page. You would be fine print.'
"My goodness, my child!"
'Must not like sweets too because...' posing with a finger gun, you pretended to shot her. 'You have some sweet buns.' Laughing at the deep red that splashed across her face, you ran towards your room. Jumping onto your bed, you let yourself relish the warm rush that clung to your heart.
{What are you crazy? You call her mom, why were you flirting with her!!} It made her smile!
You could hear Chara groaning in your head, but you didn't care. Smothering your face onto your pillow, your heart soon settled once more. Falling back from the rush, your mind went back towards to what Toriel had said as she held you. Holding tightly onto the pillow, you already knew what you had to do next.
You had to leave. It wasn't something hard to decide on, since you had already planned to do so: when you first wrote that crumbled letter that laid on the ground beside your bed. So, you waited. Once more, waiting to hear Toriel's slumbering voice.
_
In the cold night, as snow gently fell upon the quit town of Snowdin, a soft sobbing could be heard from within Grillby's bar. The quiet flame monster that own said bar, stood quietly, hearing the soft drunken sob of his dear friend.
"i was so...stupid..so...desperate." Grillby cleaned the dirty glasses before him, all while listening silently as Sans continued to mumble between drinks. "i just...i just wanted her to leave...leave that lonely place she calls home...to get her away from...from that...thing." Sans swayed back and fourth on his seat, trying to keep his balance. Seeing this, Grillby walked around the bar and placed his hand against his back. "thanks..grillbs..."
"...Sans, I think you had enough..."
"Nooo...please just a bit more...just..."
"...Your brother is going to worry..."
"brother...ooh...heh, Papyrus." Grillby sighed as Sans slumped against his hold. "did I ever tell you...how...how, much i love that guy..."
"...Should I call him to get you, again?..." Sans abruptly hopped out of his seat, frantically trying to quiet Grillby.
"shshshshshshuhuhuh...don't...tell him, i don't want to worry him again. ok?"
"...do you need help going home?..."
"nah...thanks though." Sans waved goodbye as he stumbled out of the bar.
His slippers crunched across the snow as he made his way home. Before entering, he looked up at the cave ceiling. Wondering what he could have said, what he should say to make her forgive him. Clenching his hand over the doorknob,he let out a frustrated growl.
"damn it tori! what part of the human being a fuckin' murder does she not get! if she stopped playing house, she could see that the human is only playing with her." loosening his hold on the doorknob, he rested his head against the door. "i, thought she...she could try to understand how fucked up the resets where... if she could just understand.. what i had to go through...but..but..."
She didn't.
He wasn't sure how long he stood there, mumbling against the door. But his eyesockets where getting heavier and heavier as the time went on. He just couldn't understand why she couldn't understand. Why the only thing she could think about was how he already seen her, how he even lived with her that one timeline. How he knew her, even if she didn't. He clenched his hand, as he tried to erase her voice out of this thoughts. But then the door moved slightly, causing him to stumble back a bit. Eyesockets wide open, he looked up. Peeking through the door, he could see half of his brother's skull, staring down at him.
"Brother."
"uh...yeah bro?" Sans stuttered as sweat dripped on the side of his skull.
"Can You Refrain Yourself From Arguing With The Door?"
"heh, sorry...i, ah...what are you doing up?"
"It's Almost Morning, Sans."
"what!" Papyrus opened the door wide, causing Sans to fall back. But Papyrus was quick, and had held him by the front of his hoodie. Swooping his brother over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, Papyrus closed the door behind him.
"SANS, I AM NOT QUITE SURE WHAT THE DOOR DID TO YOU. BUT SURELY IT DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE GROWLED OUT FOR FOUR HOURS!"
"what! four...hours!" Papyrus had walked up the stairs into Sans' room and was currently placing his brother ontop of the bed.
"IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, I RECEIVED A TEXT FROM GRILLBY..."
"snitch.."
"TO INFORM ME THAT YOU HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH. SO I WAITED BY THE WINDOW TO MAKE SURE, YOU DIDN'T SLEEP ONTHE SNOW...AGAIN. ONLY TO FIND YOU STANDING BY THE DOOR, GROWLING AND MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY. I BELIEVE, YOU FEEL ASLEEP SOMEWHERE AROUND THERE." Sans moaned out in frustration, burying himself under his covers. Papyrus let out a sigh, petting the covered bump on the bed that was his brother. "GET SOME SLEEP SANS. I'LL BE AT WORK AND I BETTER NOT SEE YOU AT YOUR POST TODAY. LAST THING I WANT TO HEAR IS UNDYNE CALLING ME TO FETCH YOU BECAUSE THE ROYAL GUARDS WHERE PLAYING WITH YOUR UNCONSCIOUS SLEEPING BODY!"
Sans mumbled at him, before curling himself deeper into his bed. Once again, he worried him. Caused him trouble. He wondered how long he stayed awake, waiting for his sorry ass to come home. Feeling the bed shift, he peeked from under his covers.
"pap?"
"Yes Sans?"
"i love you..."
"Love You Too Sans. NOW STAY ASLEEP! I WILL WAKE YOU WHEN IT'S TIME FOR LUNCH. THAT SHOULD PROVIDE YOU ENOUGH ENERGY TO GO TO YOUR HOTLAND JOB."
"hmm...can't i stay in for today."
"SANS YOU LAZYBONES, THE ANSWER IS NO. NOW SLEEP." Hearing Sans grumble out a yes, he quietly closed the door, before heading out. Standing outside his house with his gloved hand holding tightly onto the doorknob, he could still hear the sleeping sounds of his neighbors. "Sigh, Guess This Door Really Takes The Grunt Of Our Frustration." Walking away, he made his way through the sleeping town.
In the quiet sleeping sounds of the Ruins, you slid slightly from where you sat. Rubbing your eyes, you found that you had slept. Scrambling towards the door, you let out a sigh of relief as you still heard Toriel snoozing away. Quietly grabbing your reinforced stick, you made your way back down towards the Ruin exit. Hand ready to push through, a voice appeared behind you.
"Be careful this time, you idiot."
'Thank you.' Flowey grumbled before disappearing. Pushing the door open, you where greeted with cold snow.