"So, Eric is well?" Christina asks Tris. She plops onto Tris's couch, throwing her feet up onto the coffee table.

Tris stalls in the kitchen, her hands frozen over the sink where she's washing a few apples she'd picked up at the market earlier that day. Christina hates Eric — most people do — so it's taking Tris a few moments to really comprehend what's happening. She stares at the wall, unsure of what to say. "Uh…" She looks over her shoulder, in the general direction of the living room, "Yeah."

"Good." Christina nods, combing her shoulder length hair behind her ear and over to the side. She throws herself back ways bitterly, her neck contorts awkwardly.

Tris laughs at her when she enters the room and sees Christina slouched on the leather sofa. "What're you doing, Chris?"

"Thinking."

"About what exactly?" Tris sits with her feet beneath her butt, biting into the large apple. The fruit crunches and she pulls back to examine it for a few seconds before she goes back to paying attention to her best friend and then to chewing.

"Why sticking up for Eric is so important to you." Chris answers honestly, ignoring how awkward her friend just looked. She sits up straighter and turns her body toward Tris, "I mean, I get that he saved you from Jeanine's evil clutches. And then he killed her… But… I don't really think he's been redeemed." She answers candidly, peering over at Tris — who seems a little too enthralled by her apple— waiting for a response. She purposely doesn't mention the chasm incident because it seems juvenile when compared to the other stuff.

Tris swallows hard, wincing because it was too soon, opening her mouth to reply. "I want to believe he can change." She is smooth with her delivery. She chooses to be direct because there's no point in trying to come up with some other answer. "After talking to him for these past several months, I think he has."

"But has he been redeemed…" Christina probes, leaning her arm over the back of the couch. "do you think he can be? He's caused so many people so much pain."

Tris takes the time to really think about what she wants to say next. Any wrong word or slip of the tongue and she knows she'll sound like an idiot. And she doesn't want to sound like someone who has too much faith in him. While she's young and knows she's should be allowed the luxury, she doesn't want to give Christina — or anyone else — the opportunity to say that she's living in some little girls fantasy where everything can be fixed. That's not what she wants. She doesn't know exactly what it is that she wants. Tris just knows that Eric doesn't deserve to die. She doesn't believe anyone deserves to be killed the way that Dauntless Law says he should — without a chance to even try to better himself. That's not justice.

"We haven't given him a chance to show that he can be redeemed or changed…" She places her half eaten apple on the side of her knee, "or whatever the fuck they want him to do to show that he's not dangerous." She looks up from trying to balance the fruit, catching eyes with Chris. She's ready to give an apology for sounding rude, it's on the tip of her tongue. But her best friend is looking at her like she's amused and a little impressed.

Their friendship is one that Tris is certain should be over. Not because she doesn't value Chris as a friend, but, she shot and killed Will. Will is dead because she shot him. But Christina forgave her and it's something she can't quite understand. It's almost funny. Not that Will is dead, or that Christina forgave her, but because she's fighting so hard to get people to forgive Eric for the bad things he's done and yet she can't forgive herself for her own mistakes.

She still has nightmares about everything that happened. It's part of the reason she always sees Eric early morning. She barely sleeps.

"So he gets to live until the next voting?" Christina asks curiously, still processing Tris's first reply.

Tris shakes her head, "There won't be another. There's been five already. And I'd say we're hopelessly deadlocked." She bites into her apple, and continues but with her hand over her mouth, "I'm surprised Four and Tori aren't trying to push for the execution harder. By Dauntless Law— "

"They'd have killed Eric already." Christina concludes. "Four happy about this?" She asks, knowing the answer is no, but still wanting a response.

Tris gives her a look, she takes a breath in to keep from laughing, "No. Not at all." She shrugs, taking her almost finished apple and placing it on the coffee table. "There's not much going on with us recently."

"Because you spend all your time on the outskirts of the city… Visiting the man he hates… Who's also a war criminal." Christina laughs, hugging a couch pillow to her chest. Tris rolls her eyes.

There's so much to think about when she weighs the pros and cons of openly engaging in friendly talks — which she happens to enjoy — with Eric. Like whether or not she'll be disappointed in the end of the whole ordeal. Because disappointment is possible on both ends of the separate paths, she ignores logic and goes with feelings. And her emotions are telling her that she's neither wrong nor right. She just exploring. She hates this conversation. It's the same one she's had over and over again. She knows people disagree with her choice to be friends with Eric — many have said so more times than is necessary — and it's a redundant point in conversation because Tris isn't going to change her mind on it. She's too stubborn for her own good — a bad thing most of the time — but maybe she's waiting to be disappointed.

She's honestly been intrigued by the older man for years, but she's also afraid of what it makes her. Is she a monster? Is she doomed to suffer in the afterlife because she finds herself being enthralled by Eric Coulter? Is she just a terrible person or just plain stupid? She doesn't know. But she's tired of everyone looking at her like she's supposed to.

And maybe she is. But she's just tired of people expecting things from her. She just fought in a war. She was abducted by Jeanine Matthews to be poked and prodded. And then people have the gall to judge her for doing what she wants. She thinks about this a lot. What expectations she has for herself and the ones others have for her. She's been appointed leader and she didn't want it, and somehow ignoring her responsibilities is perplexing to Four, Evelyn, and feels wrong to make a judgement of Eric's actions. But he definitely doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt — or so everyone says — but she gives it to him anyway because after The War, everything is backwards. Life as they all know it has been changed. And everyone has to reevaluate what has happened in their lives. Just because they are trying to take the representatives from every faction and meld them together as one unit, doesn't mean she wants to be a part of it.

The Erudite compound has been a ghost town save for the labs but no one stays there overnight. It's unnerving to think that there aren't really any factions left. Aptitude tests are done for, the choosing ceremony has been passed over, and people from different factions intermingle freely. Faction before blood is just another saying that shouldn't have existed in the first place. And it's weird because she's trying to find a purpose, and she knows that maybe she's latched onto this Eric issue because it's something to think about — that had nothing to do with her — but now she's attached and wouldn't feel right letting go of it... of him.

So essentially, she is settling herself to be hurt. He hurts people, and she knows that. That's not up for debate. But she still really wants to believe that he can be different. It's a recurring thought in her head. And every time she talks to him, she hopes that she sees the difference in him. But he's perplexing and complex and then she thinks that she's crazy, possibly.

Christina waves her hand in front of his face, smiling at her friend sympathetically, "You okay in there?"

"Am I crazy?" Tris' eyes snap to her friends. She would normally try to hide what she's thinking, but she's always been too transparent for that.

Christina watches her for what seems like forever. It's as though she's trying to find a way to be nice with her answer. As a former candor, it's difficult to tone down her bluntness. But right now, she can see that Tris needs support not a tongue lashing or a million and one questions thrown at her. So she just shrugs and smiles for a couple moments. It's the most strained silence between them in a while because what can she say that would deter Tris anyway?

"I think that…" She pauses and takes a moment to breathe because she started to speak before she had really decided on what to say. Tris looks at her expectantly, practically begging her for an answer. "I think that you could be looking for something you won't find in him."

Tris looks like she's processing what Christina just said, and then the look in her eyes hardens like Christina only confirmed something for her. Its determination. "Regardless of if it's what I want to find or not, I want to find something."

Chris mulls the response over, looking up at the ceiling as she leans back on the armrest. "Understandable."

She can see the unrest on Tris' face. Like her best friend is trying to convince herself that she's prepared for everything when she's clearly not. But Chris has come to learn that while Tris is actually brilliant, she thrives under pressure because she doesn't have time to think about anything else. However, when she does have time, she thinks too much and over analyzes everything to the point where she can't remember where she started out.

"Would you believe me if I said that I hate him?" Tris asks, just for curiosity's sake.

Christina laughs. "No. Why?"

"Because sometimes he looks at me like he can't believe that it's me who shows up to see him." Tris' voice is soft, as if ashamed of the admittance. And Chris can't really think of why. Tris blinks — like she's on the verge of tears — overwhelmed by a rush of emotions. "And it's like… I just… I think about how it must have felt to be him. To be hated for doing what you're told was right…"

"But who thinks murder is right?" Christina asks, lost. She — like many others — can't understand why Tris is caught up on his mindset instead of his actions.

"It wasn't just like he went around killing people." Tris argues. "We were all taught that being divergent was dangerous. But imagine having Jeanine drill that into your head for so long. Erudite is supposed to be the faction the knows their shit, right? And dauntless is supposed to be the faction that protects us, right?"

"Yeah…"

"So why would he have questioned thinking he was doing the right thing?" Tris asks. She's just playing devil's advocate, or she thinks. "What he's done is awful, but nobody seems to wanna know why…"

Christina heaves a tired sigh, suddenly aware she's not getting anywhere in this. Eric is a lost cause in her mind. "Curiosity killed the cat, Tris"

"But satisfaction brought it back." Tris counters smoothly.

"It's easier to just let it be." Chris argues back, though she's slightly amused by her friend's response. "Why dredge it all back up?"

Tris simply stares at her, words circling in her head. There's nothing she can say that will make anyone agree with her, and that's fine. It doesn't change her mind.