Silk Sheets

Azula felt her lips tugging in triumph as she stepped over the high tower overlooking the Royal Plaza. She was in the shadows of course, but from the distance she could feel the baited breath from the gathered people, thousands of citizens of the Fire Nation, just waiting for their cue. As the two old farts finally stepped out into the sun, the buzzing slowly ceased.

"Your Princess, Azula, smart and beautiful, disguised herself as the enemy and entered the Earth Kingdom's capital" Well that was good. "In Ba Sing Se, she found her brother, Zuko, and together they faced the Avatar, and the Avatar fell, and the Earth Kingdom fell!"

A pause, a beat, a cheer.

"Azula's agents quickly overtook the entire city. They went to Ba Sing Se's great walls and brought them down! The Armies of the Fire Nation surged through the walls, and swarmed over Ba Sing Se, securing our victory!" She could see from the shadows now, like a whole unity, the raised fists of soldiers and commoners… That was what they were made for after all…" Now the heroes have returned home! Your princess, Azula!"

She stepped forward knowingly, assured of her perfection. Her armor was clean and new, the leather strong and shining under the sun. Her hair was perfect, her skin was perfect, her posture was perfect, and the commoners did as they should. Cheering her, loving her.

"And after three long years, your prince has returned, Zuko!"

The cheer was just as big then, and she couldn't help but smirk. Yes, they were made to love them, their rightful rulers, but oh how easy it was to make it so. How easy were they manipulated… Give them a crown, and they shall worship it, but take it away and she was suddenly reminded of her brother's pitiful state in the wake of his banishment. Not that it mattered, it was natural law and it was almost funny that her brother wouldn't last long. Even with all the good help she could give he was incapable of doing so… Her father had realized that already…

By the end of the ceremony, she was escorted back through the city, the carriage moving through the streets as the people heard more and more about her victory. Hers yes… She had done it, something no one, not even her pathetic uncle had accomplished. She conquered a whole kingdom with a few words and cleverness…

Her suite in the palace was just the way she remembered, perfect. Dropping her armor on the floor she chose her robe carefully, the deep red fitting comfortably around her body. She didn't bother to fix the dropped things, the servants would come and put everything away as it was their duty. Mai and Ty Lee were waiting in the balcony, of course, her friends that were so different from one another.

Ty Lee was over the rails, using only her hands to move one way and the other, while Mai kept to herself although years of experience told Azula she was actually chipper.

"Well, it seems everything is done around here girls"

"Oh Azula! You were so pretty back there! You should have seen yourself!" Ty Lee said with a wide grin.

"Well it isn't that hard, and by the way you should know I'll properly reward you two for your loyalty, a house was secured for each in the Caldera, which in itself should be enough, wouldn't you say?"

Mai shrugged. "My father already has a house in the Caldera"

"Oh, yes, how silly of me, to give you a proper one"

"Wait, you mean to say I'm getting a whole place all for myself?" Ty Lee asked, her smile fading. "It sounds great, but does it mean we won't be together anymore?"

"Well, obviously, I will agracciate you with my presence once in a while" Azula assured. She looked over her other friend, watching the small tug of her usually tight lips. "And you Mai? How was it, having my brother's company all the way back? Brooding much?"

Mai remained impassive.

"Well, not much happened, I was so close and didn't even catch a kiss" Ty Lee giggled. "Unless something happened after the curtain cloooosed"

"Nothing happened" Said Mai.

"Oh, so should I intervene then?" Azula smirked, maybe it would be better if she did something. It wouldn't do to have her friend trading her for Zuko, as impossible as it seemed. "Maybe give Zuzu some dating advice, he was away for a long time, wasn't he? Do you think he tried to meet someone out there?"

"Whatever."

"Oh, a love declaration" A blush crept over Mai's stoic face, it was perfect, one more little chain to keep her brother in control, and if her friend became less downcast for it, all the better, right? "Where is Zuzu anyway? He disappeared after the speech."

"Oh, I didn't see him, want me to look for him Azula?' Ty Lee asked sitting down, her feet dangling from the edge of the balcony.

"No need… I have an idea of where he is..."

She turned her back to them and strode down the stairs, getting past the long hallways and high pillars flanking the main halls of the palace. The glistening floor shining under the lights of braziers, her steps hollow as the occasional guard bowed at her passage. It was an old path, one she had taken over the years ever since the woman who thought her a monster went away. She still wondered why her father hadn't burned the place down, a garden hardly had any use for them, and Turtle Ducks were so much better roasted.

Her brother was just where she knew he would be. Even now he was pathetically predictable. Would he always? Sitting there, feeding the pests with bread? After shaking her head, Azula made her face neutral and stepped over the grass.

"You seem so downcast, has Mai gotten to you already? Although Mai has been in a strangely good mood lately."

Her brother didn't look at her, instead she watched his scarred side, his eye was closed. What are you thinking about Zuzu? Our dear uncle? Father? The woman? Her brother took a deep breath and then he turned around, his back straight, revealing a neat silver tray at his side.

"Would you like some tea?" He asked, breathing fire over the teapot, the warm steam rising from the clear liquid. "I'm not very good, but I like to think I could open a shop sometimes."

"Tea?" She crossed her arms. "Oh, I see, your time with Uncle really got to you."

"It did" He replied, more straight forward than she expected. Where was the clumsy denial? How long until he goes to see the old man? She knew it was just a matter of time and yet she did a mental note to keep her eye on him. She scrutinized him carefully, as he poured some tea for her and then for himself. Curiously, she sat down taking a small sip and begrudgingly admitting to herself it was good.

"This tastes like mud."

"Of course" Her brother took some bread and threw at the pond where the turtleducks carefully dared to approach the food.

"So, doing okay? I heard father hasn't called on you yet, it must be tough on you" She prodded, watching his brow knitting carefully. "As Fire Lord he is quite busy, I assure you he cares."

"I was thinking about something else actually," Her brother said softly, his voice sounded even, but she could detect the emotion behind it. Already showing weakness, typical…

"And what is that?"

"I was thinking about the time I was banished..." He said taking a sip, she wondered if he actually liked jasmine or if the tea was only to calm his nerves. "When he burned me, do you remember? I never felt so terrified in my life, I actually thought I was going to die. I felt the ground when I fell and I remembered looking over the crowd before passing out… I remember you smiling."

She narrowed her gaze as their eyes met, trying to recall that day. It was for her a rather satisfying memory, the moment she knew her strength had paid off, while Zuko's weakness took him away. Back then, when he had been burned, a small part of her had wondered how the burn must be like, what it would feel to see yourself in the mirror and see something so deformed. It didn't matter of course, it was simply a matter of who was the favorite after all… It was a mark of whom would not be Fire Lord.

"Still holding a grudge for that are you?"

"Not really" Zuko answered, pouring himself a second small cup. "I was actually hoping for clarification"

"Clarification?"

"Yes, you smiled when I was banished, but then when I was on the streets, a nobody, I sent for you remember? You didn't really need to come, but you did. Granted I think you just wanted to get our uncle away from the palace and gain favor with father, but I still wonder… Did you care about me at all?"

Azula paused, looking down on her tea. The clear liquid shook a little as she quietly brought it down. When banished, Zuko had been led away from the palace and the Caldera, forbidden to return. He had been given a week to leave Fire Nation territory, but after only a day he was sleeping on the streets, no one caring for an exiled prince enough to join him in a mad quest for a dead legend. When his message came, she had actually thought about burning it, but the idea of seeing her brother in his worst had an appeal all of its own…

She had found him in the same clothes, sleeping outside, and smelling bad, Mother's favorite. She had found him knowing his request came out of desperation more than any real trust he had for her… Oh, how delightful it had been to play that little game of caring sister though, to choose the words she would tell father, while getting rid of her pathetic uncle. Her father had been accommodating, of course, apparently he had been keeping uncle under watch for some reason, and her proposal to let him go with Zuko was accepted. She had found him a small ship, a companion and at the end of the day, he had to thank her for it. Silently, Azula sipped the tea.

"Is this really about me? Or is it something else? I thought I proved my care for you back in Ba Sing Se, dear brother" She watched his blank face carefully, seeing his eyes finally looking away. Was that guilty? "I gave you the opportunity to prove yourself and you did, and now father can have you back, isn't that great?"

"Father doesn't care about anyone"

Her eyebrow twitched, the statement surprising her which was in itself impressive. She had always been proud to keep up with surprises.

"What is that now?"

"You heard me" Zuzu went on, lowering his tea. "Once I really thought otherwise you know? I thought I could win his approval, his love, my honor, everything I lost… I thought it was all right to sacrificed my beliefs and ideals if I could come home again, but the true is that father doesn't care. He wants people to be useful to him, he wants me to be useful… And you..."

Oh my, that is interesting. "So what are you saying Zuzu? Traitorous thoughts are not healthy you know?"

A dry laugh escaped his lips, his fingers brushing against the scar on his face. "Have you ever wondered if he would do the same to you in the day you're not useful anymore? In the day when you don't agree with him?"

Azula scoffed. "Well, that is never gonna happen, so why bother thinking about it?"

"You think he loves you"

"Of course he loves me" Now that was getting out of hand, what was her brother thinking?

"I really wished you were right Zula" The old nickname struck her like a slap to the face, a gust of wind bursting from dead memories forcing her teeth to grit against one another. "The funny thing is that you actually see him in the right, that you actually do the same things he does, bullying everyone around you into your will… It… It doesn't last..."

"What doesn't last?"

"Bonds forged on fear"

Frowning she took the small cup and poured the small portion of tea on the ground, rising to her feet. "You know what Zuzu? I was really having high hopes for you, I came here all on my own to see how you were doing, but now I see your banishment taught you nothing at all, your time with Uncle had done the damage."

"I think the Avatar is alive"

She stopped mid-stride, the shade of the tree engulfing her in a cold blanket as she slowly turned towards her brother. "Oh, really now?"

"Yes..." Her brother said sadly. "His friends had a special healing water from the spirit's oasis with them, he probably survived. I thought you should know before you tell father you killed him"

Huffing, she watched her brother finishing his tea under the sun, and walked away. A small smile coming to her lips. Well, it was a shame really, but if her brother was so determined to be a failure she could push him a little in the right direction… Maybe pushing would mean giving him a little credit after all.

As she practiced her words to tell father how Zuko ferociously overwhelmed the Avatar in combat, she carefully pushed the rest of his words to the back of her mind, together with the small seed of fear it brought forth.

Walking towards the throne room certainly had mixed feelings stirring inside him. For one, it was strange not to see it as a welcome hold of his family's power, second, it had now the presence of a man Zuko had not thought about it in a very long time. It had taken him years to really get rid of Ozai's shadow. To look at his own children without fear of becoming a monster, to make decisions assured that he was deciding from his heart and not from some ghost of his father's influence. Suki certainly had her share of time comforting him after nightmares…

Now as the symbol of the black flame appeared before him, Zuko took a deep breath. He had faced his sister, dragons, and enemies all over the world, yet his father still felt like a humongous threat in comparison. He was only a man, and yet the thought of facing those blank eyes all over again twisted his guts into knots even now. Opening the room with a brush across the drapes, Zuko slowly stepped inside, the song of flickering fire echoing across the chambers as he knelt and the shadow beyond spoke.

"You have been away for a long time. I see the way of your travels has changed you. You've redeemed yourself my son." Carefully, Zuko allowed his courage to move his gaze up and met his father's as the Fire Lord walked forward from the wall of flames. "Welcome home"

This isn't my home. He thought, overwhelmed by a drowning heart. My home is a Fire Nation one can be proud of, my home is my friends, my children… Suki… He allowed the words to pass through him, like wind, the pain of loss too fresh, his tears needed to be contained in his chambers.

"I'm proud of you, Prince Zuko. I'm proud because you and your sister conquered Ba Sing Se. I'm proud because when your loyalty was tested by your treacherous uncle, you did the right thing and captured the traitor. And I'm proudest of all of your most legendary accomplishment. You slew the Avatar."

A beat, silence. He could feel his heart hammering inside his ribcage as the words he had wished to hear all through his childhood disappeared like fog in the rising sun. Licking his lips, he bowed further, ignoring the urge to turn on the figure at his back.

"I did for you and our nation, father"

"Indeed, and your efforts were certainly amazing. You sister herself described how impressed she was with your power and ferocity" His shadow covered him and Zuko looked up, meeting the gaze and handsome features of a rather common man, hiding a rotting heart.

"Thank you"

Later, he walked away in a daze. Lightheaded and fearful. It was all he could do not to fear his own shadow as he walked out of the palace. A quick research brought him all the way to the message hawks, where he scribbled a quick message to the western navy, using his seal of Prince. It would take a while now, but his father had been surprisingly accommodating with his request.

That done, he made his way to his room, where he collapsed exhausted on the bed. It was easy to give in and sob... Sleep took a long time to come.

Away from there, reaching the Fire Nation coast, the Avatar opened his eyes, the warmth of his friends' love easing his troubled heart, a balm after the cold of the storm. He looked into her kind blue eyes and felt the reason pushing his guilty away. His fear… He couldn't be alive right now… Not really, his race to the Fire Nation had been rash and irresponsible.

When his glider burned at the edge of the glowing lava, Aang finally let go. If he was to succeed, he needed to remain dead, but more than that he needed his friends.

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