AN: Yes, I'm still here writing this story. I've been so busy with life and my head is always swimming with other stories, but I always come back to this one. I hope all of you are having a great 2019 so far!
I in no way planned for this to be a story focused on the justice system, so I won't be writing too much more on Eric's retrial. I have other plans for our favorite hot mess express.
I don't think I've ever said, but if this were a movie you could see, Ben Barnes is Eric's attorney. And I was picturing Leven Rambin and Alex Pettyfer as the Black siblings.
Eric is questioned for three days, sitting on the stand, reminding himself over and over to not be too guarded and to keep an edge of his regret. It's not that hard to remember, in theory. But the only people he let's see him are his mother, his sister who is too young to notice, and Tris. Though, the truth serum makes it very easy to become emotional, unable to do anything but show all your cards and hope you don't just sit there babbling about any and everything. He stares at his family and Tris the entire time Joshua asks him questions, anchoring himself in the reality of the moment… he's hashing up years of self loathing and feelings of failure.
There's a nervous tick of his jaw whenever his first reaction is to come up with a lie, something that doesn't leave him feeling so bare, like always having the feeling he is a disappointment to his parents—that Jeanine was the only person to truly see him as more than a brain and a brilliant mind. She saw his potential. It's a bitter pill to swallow, the realization that it is his insecurity that made him tether himself to her in his youth. She ticked off all the boxes on her list of requirements of a protégé, all while he just hoped to be the best at whatever obstacle crash-course she placed him on.
He was never much of an Erudite really, too smart for his own good to follow the status quo, and too angry to be anything more than brutal and mean.
It was so easy to follow with what she wanted, and that's what makes him so sick while he's sitting on the stand. Mia had pulled no punches, asking him everything that had lead to a problematic response. He's parched from all the tension that rose in the room. The sound of murmuring echoes in his ears.
"You're nearly 22, a grown man capable of his own thoughts." The prosecutor says, turning on her heel to head back to her table, "You had the power to stop the slaughter of innocent people, and worse than standing by, you went along with it."
Her words echo in his ears as he tries to swallow down the feeling of cottonmouth he's currently experiencing. But it seems to be getting worse the longer he sits there. Confidence is easily crushed when there's every set of eyes staring back at you, waiting for another shoe to drop.
Tris gives him a nod every so often, when his eyes find hers.
"Did Jeanine put you in a place of power because she knew you were in her back pocket?" Joshua asks on the cross-examination.
The question nearly enrages him but for a second he wonders if he was just hearing it in his head. The doubt always finds a place in his thoughts, "I had to place number one on my own."
"But you didn't." Joshua adds, "Who did?"
"Four," Eric says. It's probably stupid that he still feels that hanging over his head. "He beat me. Max wanted him then, and when he declined, my position was secured."
Four stands at the back of the room, arms folded. He and Tori had arrived together, but neither of them have spoken of the case to each other. But the older woman, and Tris are growing more and more unsettled the longer he goes without reacting to it.
Dauntless seems to have paused, people are invested because Tris is. Without asking, she's rallied support from just being adamant that Eric—while not innocent by any means—was used.
"Were your loyalties ever called into question?"
Eric doesn't want to talk about it. His sharp intake of breath gives him away. "Yes. More than once, but nothing usually ever came from it. I was Jeanine's pet project, and she was never too worried that I wasn't as loyal to her cause." Onlookers want to know what happened and he does his best not to shift uncomfortably, "But the last time really fucked everything up..."
"What happened Eric?"
"There was a kid once, who wandered by as Max and Jeanine were talking about the new improvements to the simulation serum we use in initiation. They didn't know what he'd heard but the next day he was booted out of Dauntless. They didn't give the class an explanation, he was just gone from initiate quarters the next morning." He physically can't lie. "I hadn't thought anything of it. But that week they wanted me to lead a convoy into a part of the city the factionless had expanded to. Orders were to kill everyone, leave no witnesses."
"And why couldn't you do it? You'd killed for Jeanine before, hadn't you?"
Eric grits his teeth. He'd never had the backbone to go with his gut feeling. He is someone who always thought logic could explain why the hunt for Divergents was life or death. It didn't work out for long, when there were no results, just dead bodies lining up—more and more blood lining up. "What had he heard that could in anyway be detrimental? They'd wanted him and everyone else dead just for the sake of it. I didn't kill for sport." He exhales with a huff angrily, feeling his heart racing just at the memory of being so upset takes over. It had been the first time he'd gotten a glimpse at Jeanine's chaos. She was a brilliant woman, but with a flare for paranoia. It wasn't obvious to everyone, but he and Max had known. Dauntless was held in line because if tested, she'd take the whole faction with her. "I regret that so many people died because I couldn't continue to oppose her."
"And when did you hear that your father had been found dead?" Joshua urges him to answer, as they haven't heard an objection from their opposition in at least ten minutes. And the jury is enthralled, maybe even disgusted by the truth, and unable to look away.
"The next day," Eric grits out. Elizabeth chokes out a sob and he can't look up to meet her eyes then. It's his fault. He should have found another way to undermine Jeanine that hadn't been so bold. He could have. There had been ways. But he was quick to anger and defiant. Jeanine hadn't conditioned that out of him. It wasn't until he was older that she'd started to see she hadn't controlled him in all the ways she assumed. He still loves his family, and even when it had been attempted, it can't ever be beaten out of him. He'd learned to be a chameleon.
"So because you refused to do her bidding, just once, Dr. Shawn Coulter is dead?" Benning asks.
"Objection," Mia calls, "No one was ever charged with Dr. Coulter's death."
"Yeah, that was convenient, wasn't it?" Eric's voice carries over the room.
Judge Byers pauses, dragging her teeth over her lip, "I'll allow it. But make your point quickly Benning."
Joshua nods looking at Eric, "What did you know about your father's death?"
Eric bites the inside of his lip, trying to swallow down the words. "My father didn't kill himself. I know that because Jeanine showed me the footage from the security cameras in the parking garage. All of it was erased after that. She'd told me that he died because I needed a little reminder of what she could do and that she knew I still visited home every once in a while. I should've known she'd find out eventually. She didn't want me to forget that she could make things happen with or without my willingness to cooperate and that I had a mother and sister to think about."
"That was brutal," Tris sighs, sitting with Eric on a bench in the Justice building. He'd spent some time wandering the building with his mother and sister, but a sense of dread had been placed over them. He had been quiet and withdrawn under his own power, after the truth serum wore off. Stephie's smile could only do so much, and neither he nor his mother could trample down the agony of the day's gathering.
"We should head back," He says, looking down at the monitor on his foot. It's meant to be thin enough that it's not intrusive, but it's there, and knowing that is enough to be bothersome. Forgetting it means being back in a cell. He's also resigned to the fact that he will end up back there again anyway but he rather not be dragged there from his apartment in Dauntless, in front of everyone to see his humiliation.
"Sure," Tris says wearily, watching him stand and wait for her. She wants to reach for his hand, but doesn't. They walk closely together and Tris's strides are long to keep up with him while she needs to actually feign the confidence of a leader. No one stops them, but she's prepared for it. She's wondered if there will be some idiot out there who attempts to take him out. After all, he's the symbol for the movement that nearly tore the city to the ground.
Eric inhales deeply as they set foot outside. He'd never realized how much he's taken fresh air for granted until he could only get an hour of it a day.
"The train's passing by in four minutes," Tris offers, looking at the clunky watch on her wrist. She doesn't like the holos Tori and Four have so sticks to this old, glitchy thing that will probably weigh her down if she ever falls into a body of water or something. She catches Eric eyeing it and they both laugh. It's the first time he's smiled at all today. "Think we can make it? I'll race ya!" She takes off, running towards the building where the train is accessible from the roof. There was more tracks that pass rooftops than there are those that pass on the ground. "Loser pays for drinks!" She calls again.
Eric rolls his eyes, but allows her head start before he starts to chase after her. It doesn't take long for him to gain on her, and they narrowly avoid a car heading in the opposite direction. Tris just smacks her hand on the hood with a little bit of a growl and continues on. Eric breaks away in front of her just for kicks. She picks up speed and he allows the distance to close.
(They could have brought truck that morning but he likes the trains, and the time that seems to pass slower when he can sit and watch the city go by from that high.)
Eric lets her win.
They burst onto the roof just as the train is rounding up. It's as loud as ever and not slowing. He looks at her, and she looks at him, both of them grinning like giddy children before they ready themselves. He breaks into a run for the ledge first, landing on his feet before turning back to see the second she jumps with much more grace than he'd had. He reaches to clasp her hand before thinking about it, bringing her closer than she'd landed.
Tris lets out a shaky laugh before pressing her cheek to his shoulder. She looks at their hands, bringing his to her mouth to drop a soft kiss to his palm. That's become a thing for her, and he takes a sharp breath every time she does it.
"Dammit," Eric finally says, "You won." He knows he sounds amused and the grin on her face is not lost on him.
They sit along the opposite wall, arms looped as they begin their half an hour train ride. Tris puts her cheek on his shoulder, smiling. "Drinks on you."
Eric snorts, feeling as if the tension if the day of court is melting away. "I let you win, of course."
"Sure," She drawls. She knows it's true, and it's makes her giggle.
"I can see that was a mistake," He replies just as lightly.
"Shut up, or I'll tell everyone how much of a gentleman you are," She jokes. He nearly keels over with laughter and she chuckles. she lets the moment pass as she looks about the car. "I think it's hilarious that I always end up in a car that has no one else in it," Tris says aloud, the laugh escaping her. He glances at her amusedly, shaking his head.
"I wouldn't care who else was here," He shrugs. "But people tend to flock to you, ever the conversationalist."
It's a crock, considering she only has two friends she consistently speaks to. She normally takes forever to warm up to someone.
"Did you just imply that I talk too much," Tris asks teasingly, bumping his shoulder.
Eric hums, "Sometimes." He laughs as her expression falls and she shoves him with a playful smile she's unable to hide. They laugh and exchange childish shoves until she's beaming. He throws his arm around her shoulder, bridging the distance between them, "I enjoy it— hearing you talk about everything and nothing."
"How romantic," Tris says flatly, making him snort. She always makes him laugh without realizing she inevitably will. She glances at him where his chin is propped on her shoulder. He smiles and she wants to melt.
"What?" He asks, pulling back slightly. It's so easy to be comfortable around her. She's seen him, pretty much all of his soul by now. But maybe he's too comfortable. She leans closer, shaking her head.
"I love your smile… seeing you smile," Tris says softly. "I know you don't think you deserve to smile. But I still want you to be happy." she senses she may be making him uncomfortable, but he swallows down whatever hindrance he feels and nods, settling comfortably beside her again. She'd hoped he would say something, but she's learned that the lack of a denial is a win, and it's monumental. "Tell me about work?"
Eric inhales and exhales. He's glad she refuses to shut up long enough to let him overthink. He'll have all night to think about the trial and the worry that will creep in, but Tris doesn't seem worried, so maybe he didn't make himself look like the devil while he was on the stand. The jury has yet to hear from his mother, but they will. The prosecutor will probably attempt to rip his mother to shreds so he's trying to prepare for that too.
"Work is fine," Eric shrugs. He works as security in the pit. It's the only thing he really can do that utilizes how intimidating he can be, and keeps him from tripping the monitor on his ankle. "Last week some kid tried stealing a pair of boots."
Tris chuckles, having heard about it when said young man was sent up to her office to be dealt with. She put him and the girl who'd sent him to get into mischief, to work the kitchens for a few days. "I don't think he'll be a problem." She turns to him, "So you hate it, huh?"
"Running around behind teenage menaces? No, I love it." he rolls his eyes sarcastically. Her expression deadpans and he relents, "Sorry… why do you ask?"
"Do you want your job back?" Tris asks. He's unable to hide the question on his face, and she takes the way his eyes widen as a yes.
"That's not going to happen, whether I want it to or not," Eric says flatly, shrugging when her face falls. "I'm not trying to be a dick but neither Four or Tori will ever allow that. I'll be lucky to get a patrol job."
Tris wants to argue, but their stop is coming up. The roof in which she first saw him. "We have to jump." She mutters.
"Tris…"
She stands, brushing her hands on her leggings. "Let's just forget it."
He groans in frustration as she jumps from the train and lands wobbly on the roof, the gravel crunches underfoot. He follows after her, landing at the far corner of the building. He doesn't even blink, but she looks as if his life had flashed before her eyes. She collects her emotions and moves on to the large opening that leads to the net. She loves this entrance and the rush of adrenaline she feels as she stands here moments from throwing herself into the darkness. Eric reaches for her wrist just before she gets up onto the ledge, "I didn't mean to shut you down."
"I just want you to see that you can move on," Tris says honestly, "How long are you going to punish yourself? I know you're not a monster… do you?"