Chapter 13
Once they reached the Dragonfly, Lorelai drove up to the building instead of parking in the designated parking area, near the stables, so Jaiden could see the horses and hopefully not think she was tricking her. Horace, their ranch-hand, already had Cletus and Desdemona saddled up and waiting for them. Lorelai gave him a friendly wave as she turned the jeep off before turning around to Jaiden.
"You ready, sweetheart?" she asked, hoping to get Jaiden excited.
Jaiden only stared back in return.
"Listen, I know having B.J. helps you and that's great. You think maybe we can leave him in the jeep so he doesn't end up smelling like a horse and get all dirty?" She gave a small laugh to help lighten the mood. "I can even crack a window for him."
To her surprise, Jaiden set Baby Jaguar on the seat beside her. It took a second for her to unfreeze at first, but it seemed like the kid was finally giving Lorelai a chance. She then undid her seat belt while Lorelai was stepping out of the jeep and folded the seat down for her. While Jaiden climbed out, Lorelai went over to where Horace was holding onto the horses. He passed Cletus's lead rope to her.
Lorelai greeted Cletus, rubbing a hand along the side of his neck. She told Horace to take Desdemona away enough, so Jaiden felt more comfortable coming over. When she looked back at the jeep, she saw Jaiden was sitting on top of the folded seat, staring back at her.
"Come on over, sweetheart, and meet Cletus here," Lorelai called over to her with a motion of her head. "It's okay."
Jaiden hesitated at first. Eventually, she slid down onto her feet while holding her hands on the edges. Lorelai continued to persuade Jaiden over, insisting Cletus was the sweetest horse she will ever meet and loved people. So much so, he somehow gets inside the inn as much as he can.
Slowly and cautiously, Jaiden inched her way over. Lorelai noticed she was holding her arms stiffly at her sides, but let her take all the time Jaiden needed while Lorelai brushed her hand along Cletus' mane and rubbed his forehead between his eyes. When Cletus snorted some dust out of his nose, as horses do, it spooked Jaiden enough to take an instant step back.
"It's okay, sweetheart," Lorelai reassured and brushed her hand along the hair on Cletus' forehead. "That's how horses blow their nose. They don't have opposable thumbs to use a tissue like we do." She snickered, looking between Jaiden and Cletus. At least the kid was wearing a windbreaker jacket to make horse snot and dust easy to wipe off.
Jaiden remained frozen for a few minutes while Lorelai remained patient for her as best she could, until her feet continued forward once more. Eventually, she was close enough for Cletus to nudge the kid with his wet nose. She flinched at first, but didn't book it for the nearest tree or the jeep.
"He's just saying hello," Lorelai explained, and told Jaiden she could pet him.
Instead of petting him, Jaiden went right in and wrapped her arms around Cletus's neck.
Lorelai felt herself smile big at the precious sight. The kid seemed so loving towards animals, from what she could see. Maybe that's why Diego's cartoon was her favorite. It was all about animals. It also made Lorelai realize the possibility there was somebody who shared her love for horses. A wave of excitement suddenly washed over her just thinking about it. She couldn't help but blurt it out.
Jaiden let go of Cletus and stared up at Lorelai.
She briefly explained Rory's fear of horses and shared the "pony story" that caused her fear. "I never got Rory to give it another shot when we got these two," Lorelai brushed her hand along Cletus' mane again with a smile. "It was sad, but I never pushed her if she really didn't want to."
Jaiden stared blankly up at her.
Lorelai shrugged off the awkwardness that the blank stare caused, quietly reminding herself in her head this was no doubt from the trauma Jaiden had experienced. Instead, she asked, "So, what do ya think? Wanna try riding him?" She motioned over towards a nearby bench Jaiden could stand on so she could climb into the saddle.
Lorelai led Cletus over and beckoned Jaiden with a motion of her head.
Like before, Jaiden hesitated, but slowly made her way over.
Lorelai tried to offer her a hand up, but Jaiden climbed onto the bench herself. She at least lined Cletus beside the bench in front of Jaiden, who already knew where to place her left foot, and reached up to grab the saddle horn. Did Diego do an episode dedicated to riding horses or something?
Once Jaiden was sitting atop Cletus' back, which Lorelai praised her for, to build her confidence and trust, she adjusted the stir-ups so they were level with Jaiden's feet. Keeping hold of the lead rope, Lorelai told her to give Cletus a gentle kick, demonstrating by tapping her hand against her thigh. When Jaiden hesitated some more, Lorelai assured it wouldn't hurt him, only kick enough to tell Cletus to go. There was still some hesitation, so Lorelai took the lead instead, nudging the horse forward with the lead rope.
Lorelai walked Cletus around the fountain, taking things slow for Jaiden, who also knew to hold on to the reins.
"Did you have riding lessons before?" she asked Jaiden curiously.
Jaiden stared at her for a few seconds before eventually nodding her head.
"Did your mom sign you up for lessons?" Hopefully, if Lorelai continued to ask yes or no questions, Jaiden would eventually start opening up.
It took a moment before Jaiden responded to each question, shaking her head this time.
"Was it a foster parent?"
This time, Jaiden just timidly shrugged.
Lorelai accepted the shrug. "I took lessons when I was about your age. I tried to ask for my own horse, but my mom always said no."
Jaiden only stared back at her that time.
Lorelai walked Cletus around for about ten minutes, letting Jaiden get the feel of riding before letting her know she was having Horace bring Desdemona over. In the process, she introduced the two. Horace wasn't much of a talker either, so he just gave Jaiden a friendly nod of his head. She tensed up, but thankfully didn't fall off the horse. He didn't stay long and headed inside the stables to clean out the stalls while Cletus and Desdemona were out, taking Desdemona's lead rope with him.
Lorelai held onto Cletus' lead rope while she mounted Desdemona once the stir-ups were adjusted to her height. "Ready?" she asked, checking in with Jaiden first. She waited until she nodded before heading towards the trail Lorelai usually took the horses on, making sure to ride alongside Jaiden.
For the most part, the ride was silent. Lorelai kept her promise to not speak, even though she wanted to so badly. But she was a woman of her word, letting Jaiden break the silence if she wanted to.
It was helpful, actually. As the horses walked at a steady pace, Lorelai used the time to reflect on the past weekend and the session from that morning and what Erica had said.
She hated admitting it, even to herself, but the thought of Jaiden having a grandfather out there seemed like a good thing. It meant reaching out to see if Hector was still available or another kid. The way Jaiden reacted when they asked her about him only brought more guilt, making her feel like a terrible person. No one knew why Katherine had taken her daughter and ran away. Lorelai had some guesses, having been in almost the same position. Though Katherine was already an adult when Jaiden was born.
Letting her mind wander off caused it to drift further than Lorelai meant for it to.
Jaiden was eight years old.
Lorelai tried to think back to what was going on eight years ago. Rory was still in high school then, falling for a boy Lorelai would rather forget about, even to this day. It didn't help that Jess was technically her nephew now. After all, she was happy to be Aunt Lorelai to Doula. The thought of being Jess's aunt was repulsive to her.
She never thought he would have any interest in the fact Lorelai and his uncle were adopting and would want to meet her. He lived two hours away in Philadelphia at a small publishing company and the rare time he would visit; it was when he was passing through to New York on business, and it was only to stop in at the diner to see Luke or by Liz's place to say hi to her and Doula. Luke made a valid point that he might be a good influence for Jaiden, to which Lorelai had sarcastically remarked, "yeah, a good influence to be an angry, rebellious kid who hates anyone who tries to help." It was a shock when Luke later said Jess would be willing to meet Jaiden when the time was right.
At least Jess was showing more support than Emily.
It did not matter whether or not there could have been a logical explanation Jaiden's mother had taken her and ran away from home. So much so, it tore at Lorelai's heart. The look of fear that flashed across Jaiden's little face when she said the word grandpa was still burned in her mind. If anything, those old feelings of trying to keep her own daughter from her parents' influence were resurfacing. Lorelai did not want Jaiden to be forced to grow up in a similar lifestyle like her own, which going by what they're seen so far and Jaiden's history, could possibly be even worse, especially if it caused Katherine to take it out on Jaiden and need psychiatric help.
Lorelai snapped out of her thoughts when they came to a nearby creek. It was a peaceful place with slow running, clear water. The creek wasn't deep enough for fish to swim through, except for maybe tiny ones. Rocks lined both sides and through parts of the creek like some kind of stepping bridge.
She looked out at the beautiful view. Lorelai Gilmore may not have been the outdoorsy type, nor would she willingly camp out in it or hike a mountain like a crazy person. Even she had to admit, parts of nature like this creek were amazing.
"I like coming here to get away for an hour or so and collect my thoughts. Unwind from all the stress." Lorelai looked over at Jaiden, who seemed to be taking in the sights herself. She admitted to not being a "nature" person. "But Luke is. He and April like to go fishing and camping a lot. He would love to take you too if you wanted to."
Jaiden suddenly looked over at her before dropping her gaze downward.
"You don't have to," Lorelai said with a shrug. "The offer will always be there if you want it. We don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do..." She stopped herself, remembering that plan dropping through. "That is within our power, that is."
Jaiden continued to stare at nothing in particular.
Eventually, Jaiden swung her right leg over and carefully slid down the saddle on her stomach until she could drop the rest of the way. She then stepped closer to the creek to step onto a flat rock with water flowing around on both sides.
"Careful, sweetheart," Lorelai told her when she almost lost her balance.
But Jaiden managed to catch herself and kneeled down to hug her knees while staring at the flowing water.
Lorelai watched curiously.
Her head tilted a little, not sure what to say. Instead, they just sat there in silence. The only sounds came from the creek and an occasional forest bird nearby. They say just being in someone's company was enough to bond, right? So, that's what they did.
Lorelai let Jaiden sit there for as long as possible. Sure, it meant missing a day of school and Jaiden's attendance wasn't exactly perfect. Like it or not, school was not the most important priority at the moment. Building trust was, and if that meant playing hooky to go horseback riding to a creek and sit and listen for however long Jaiden wanted, then that's what they'd do.
Jaiden ended up sitting there for about a little over an hour.
Lorelai had forgotten her phone in her purse, so she couldn't use it to pass the time. Not that there was much to do on it. Both Rory and April had been trying to get her and Luke to switch to those new "smartphone" devices that were becoming popular. It was basically a tiny touchscreen computer that could fit into one's pocket. One could even access the internet on it if they wanted to. Luke barely knew how to use an actual desktop computer. There was no way he would want to use one that could fit in his pocket. Lorelai thought about getting one, but was holding out to see if this "smartphone" thing would last or not. She was okay with only playing Snake and Tetris for now, besides texting and making calls. At least hers took pictures, unlike Luke's cheap phone.
A tap on her leg startled Lorelai out of her thoughts. She hadn't realized the calming sounds of the creek were actually lulling her into a snooze.
Lorelai frantically looked around at her surroundings to remember where she was before looking down beside her. Jaiden was standing there on her right side, startled herself from Lorelai's startled reaction. "You scared me, girl."
It was a lighthearted comment, but Jaiden responded with only a worried look on her face. She then timidly pointed over towards Cletus.
Lorelai looked at where she was pointing. "You need help back up, sweetheart?"
She gave a timid nod.
So, Lorelai dismounted from Desdemona to lead Cletus over to a nearby tall rock for Jaiden to stand on to climb back on him. Once Jaiden was back in the saddle, the girls headed back to the Dragonfly, where Horace took the saddles back to the stable while Lorelai showed Jaiden how to brush the horses.
"Atta girl," she praised, while Jaiden brushed along Cletus' side, brushing away all the dirt and loose hair. "You got this."
Jaiden avoided eye contact whenever Lorelai offered any praise. She normally avoided eye contact, but she seemed to especially go out of her way to avoid it whenever Lorelai praised her.
Once both horses were taken care of, Horace returned them to their stalls. It wasn't close to their feeding times otherwise, Lorelai would have shown Jaiden how to feed them. Though she did ask Horace to grab a few carrots to give them as a treat.
"Did you like it, sweetheart?" Lorelai asked Jaiden once they were back in the jeep and Jaiden was back to holding B.J. tightly in her arms. A smile instantly appeared when she saw Jaiden timidly nod her head.
"If there's ever a time you want to go riding again, just let me know. 'Kay? Our guests ride them too, so it might not be right then and there, but we can set a time to go," she explained, hoping Jaiden understood. It was still unclear what the kid understood and didn't.
However, Jaiden nodded a second time after that. Maybe she did?
Lorelai started the jeep to get it going and turn on some tunes. Before she pulled out, Lorelai reached over to dig her phone out from her purse. There was a missed call and a voicemail from Vanessa. Apparently, she was stopping by that day for a visit. Vanessa had stopped by the school to visit Jaiden there, but was told she was absent, so she was on her way to the house. That was fifteen minutes ago, with a voicemail from Luke, asking where she was and that Vanessa was there, looking for Jaiden.
Well, she was not doing well with catching calls these days, that was for sure.
After checking in at the diner that morning, Luke returned home to work on the treehouse some more once he knew Lorelai and Jaiden had already left for the session with Jaiden's therapist. He spent the rest of the morning out there, drilling on the boards individually. Originally, the plan was to use large pieces of plywood sheets for the walls but doing this alone made things harder for getting them up there on his own and his pride refused to allow him to give in and let his brother-in-law help. Even though accidents were bound to happen with him putting this treehouse together, Luke wanted to make sure the treehouse was as stable a structure as possible. Somewhere, Jaiden felt safe. Her own little sanctuary.
Since Luke used his power drill to screw the boards into place, he couldn't hear a white BMW pull up and park in front of the house. It wasn't until he finished the board he was on; he heard Vanessa call up to him.
Holding the drill in his hand, Luke wandered over to the edge where the porch would be. "Oh, hey," he called down to her once Luke realized Vanessa was down there, and apologized for not hearing her before, promising he wasn't ignoring her.
Vanessa reassured he wasn't in trouble, having a handyman of her own at home. "I just came by to see Jaiden. The school told me she never got dropped off after her session with Erica."
Luke's head flinched in surprise. He figured Lorelai either stayed with Jaiden at the school or went to check in at the Dragonfly after dropping her off. Lorelai's jeep wasn't in the driveway, so it wasn't like they snuck past when he was occupied up there. "She's not here either. Maybe Lorelai took her to lunch?" he asked, remembering Lorelai filling him in on the first session.
Vanessa shrugged. "Sure, but your wife isn't answering her phone, either."
His eyebrows rose. Again? Did she not learn anything from last Friday? He wasn't sure if he should mention that to Vanessa. Would that look bad on their part? "That's not like her at all," he heard himself say out loud.
"I'm sure everything's fine," she called back. "However, this week is extremely packed for me, and I need to make sure to check in with Jaiden on a weekly basis."
"I'll try to call her myself," he offered, quickly adding, "Lorelai, I mean. We didn't give Jaiden a cellphone."
Even from up there, he could see the woman smile. She reassured him she knew who he was referring to.
Luke set the drill on the floor before climbing down the ladder.
Vanessa asked about the treehouse, mentioning Erica had mentioned it was talked about during the session that morning. Even though she would have preferred to discourage the tree-climbing, Vanessa agreed having a place up there Jaiden could hang out in was better than her just sitting on a tree branch. Luke also pointed it, it would help his nerves better, also, ashamedly admitting he had kept a watchful eye on the kid whenever she was up there, like an overprotective parent.
"That's good you care for her safety," she said. "But, there's recently been studies that show being overprotective can be just as harmful to a child."
Luke sighed. He pulled out his cell phone from his pocket to dial Lorelai's cell number. "I know. It's just... I lost out on the first twelve years of my own kid's life and knowing what Jaiden has already been dealt with, I can't help feel like I want to wrap her in bubble wrap and shield her from any more dangers." Before Vanessa could say anything, he also pointed out, knowing that wasn't possible, and he had to let Jaiden explore on her own. "Will... Are we gonna lose her?" He couldn't help think of finding out there was a grandfather out there, especially if the man was the reason Jaiden was more afraid of him than Lorelai, despite being abused by her mother.
"Well, he hasn't reached out to me yet," Vanessa said with a breath of her own. She reminded him of foster care's number one goal. "Relatives don't always try to reach out to us or accept taking a kid in if they're unable to."
"Supposedly, the guy's a CEO," Luke pointed out. "I'm sure he can support his granddaughter."
"Even if money was an option, time might be a factor. Running a company can take up so much time and effort, raising a child may not fit for him. But let's not get ahead of ourselves," she said. "Like I said, he hasn't reached out to me yet. Unless he's reached out to you?"
"Not that I am aware of, no," he replied. "Unless Lorelai's mother gave him her cellphone number." Maybe that's why Lorelai never dropped Jaiden off at school? Maybe he called this morning, and they went out to lunch to talk about it.
Regardless, Vanessa seemed to not be worried about a potential relative popping up and reassured he shouldn't be either. At least not yet.
With that said, Luke turned his attention to the phone in his hand and pressed the one key, since Lorelai was number one on his favorite list. It rang several times until her voicemail kicked in and Luke had to leave a message for her to call him back, letting her know Vanessa was there to see Jaiden.
In the meantime, Luke had to fill Vanessa in on how Jaiden was doing so far, even though the plan was always to let Lorelai handle this stuff, since she was better at it than he was. But when did Luke ever give himself a little credit? After all, he owned his diner and had spoken with plenty of important folks over the years. So, he filled Vanessa in on Jaiden's first week of school and how she was getting settled in with that, and how the nightmares were still happening at night.
"By the way, is Jaiden's choice of music country?" he asked curiously.
Vanessa shrugged. "I couldn't tell you, Luke. I usually have a radio station that plays a variety of music or Christian rock in the car. Unless a child requests a specific station, and she hasn't requested anything yet. Why do you ask?"
Luke hesitated in the moment, unsure if he should mention he had picked her up from school on Friday since it was known Lorelai took care of all that stuff while they were working on gaining trust with Jaiden. He rubbed at the back of his neck while staring at the floor where they had moved inside to sit and talk. It took him a minute before Luke finally just filled her in on catching Jaiden singing along under her breath, which eventually led to Jaiden asking for her mom.
Vanessa held a genuine look of concern. "As far as I know, Jaiden has never asked for her mom."
"I guess, between that song and asking about her grandfather gave her the courage to finally speak up?"
Vanessa was jotting down notes of their conversation.
"Is Jaiden able to see her, or at least talk to her?"
"From what I've been told, her mom willingly surrendered all rights to her daughter once Jaiden was placed in our care," she explained, while she was still writing. Vanessa then lifted her head once she was finished. "We normally don't schedule visits if the rights were surrendered, even if the parents change their mind. However, once Jaiden is adopted and we have no authority, Katherine can reach out to you if you are okay with it. But, it isn't something I'd recommend allowing. According to Jaiden's file, Katherine had shown no improvement over the last four years."
"You never know," Luke said with a slight shrug.
"I mean, true," she agreed. "I'll always hope others can find the will to get better."
"It took a few tries, but my sister eventually did. Got her life sorted out, finally found a good guy. A pain in the neck, if you ask me, but I'd still take him over the other jerks. Found a career she loves, and now has her second kid." Luke couldn't help but reflect on the changes Liz had made over the last few years and doing so much better now, even with her first-born. He may not visit as much as Luke thought he should, but he's busy with his publishing company he started with a couple buddies he met, who seem to be better than the ones he knew back in high school that got Jess sent to him in the first place. "Anyway, we just don't want Jaiden to think we're making her forget where she came from. Family is important to all of us."
Vanessa smiled. "Well, you got a leg over the other families who have tried to adopt her before. I can tell ya that."
Hearing that made Luke smile as well. "Is there anything I can do specifically that would help Jaiden see I won't hurt her?"
She only shrugged. "All I can say is, give it time. Keep doing what you're doing." Vanessa pointed a hand towards the treehouse he was building. "That might show her this can be her home."
Luke looked over there through the window.
"If it's any consolation, I'm hoping her grandfather doesn't reach out either if her reaction is anything to go by," Vanessa said, offering some sympathy. "They usually don't, but you never know."
He looked back at her with just his eyes in a sideways glance before turning back to the tree. Truthfully, so was he, especially after that reaction.
But, most of all, he just really wanted to see that kid happy for what could be the first time in her life.
While they were talking, they eventually heard Lorelai's jeep pulling into the driveway. Luke got up to check anyway and, sure enough, he saw Lorelai step out and fold the seat down. His mouth dropped open in awe when he saw Jaiden climb out shortly after, pointing it out to Vanessa, who looked for herself. Erica had also mentioned Lorelai not having to call her when they had arrived.
Jaiden followed behind Lorelai to head inside.
"Hi, Jaiden," Vanessa greeted the little girl cheerfully, commenting on how proud she was that Jaiden was making progress.
Lorelai smiled over at Jaiden before turning her head towards Vanessa. "Sorry about missing your call, Vanessa. I was showing Jaiden the horses we have at our inn and forgot my phone in the car."
Vanessa reassured there wasn't any trouble. Mistakes happen. She was just glad to catch Jaiden before she left. "Luke was filling me in on everything, and I already talked to Erica."
"Has...?" Lorelai shifted nervously. "Has he called yet?"
It took a brief second for Vanessa to fully understand who Lorelai meant. "No," she said, shaking her head. "Not yet. I was telling Luke not to worry about it. They usually don't. But if the off chance he does call, I will keep you posted. Okay?"
Lorelai nodded.
Vanessa turned back to Jaiden, moving closer to kneel in front of her, setting her folders and everything on her lap. "So, you got to see some horses, Jaiden?"
Jaiden was holding onto her jaguar. Vanessa had to remind her and insist on looking up at her, wanting eye contact.
"Has Jaiden had riding lessons before?" Lorelai asked curiously, stepping in for Jaiden after Vanessa getting strict with her again.
Vanessa looked up at her. "Sort of. We have horses at the yearly camp event we do every summer. We haven't had any success getting Jaiden on one, but she at least watches the other kids."
Lorelai flinched her head in surprise. "Really? I had very little trouble getting Jaiden on our horse Cletus. She even knew where to put her foot to climb on."
Luke felt a rush of hope when he heard Lorelai made some more progress with Jaiden that morning. She always was great with the kids. Or at least better than he was. While the ladies were talking, he looked over where Jaiden was still standing.
Gently, he asked her, "You see the treehouse, kiddo?" He nudged his hand towards Jaiden, but not close enough to physically touch her.
Unfortunately, Jaiden did not look up at him.
So he lowered himself to her level, repeating his last question.
Jaiden flinched once he caught her eye. She stared up at him with her deer-in-headlights look.
He slowly stood back up, raising his hands up in front of him in surrender. "It's okay, kiddo," he tried to reassure her. "I'm not gonna hurt you, I promise."
But words weren't enough to prove to Jaiden Luke was sincere and dashed up the stairs to her room.
Luke watched her go, his heart breaking for the kid.
At least someone was making progress with her.
Even if it wasn't him…
Author's Note:
As a side note, just thought I should point out, since this takes place a few years after season seven, this story takes place in the early 2010s when smart phones were just becoming a thing.