KS: Hey, y'all, I have returned. Forgive my long absence. I have been resting from dealing college, but now I'm back on the saddle. Let's kick off one hell of a perverted revolution, shall we?
As Ayame was strolling through the market for a new costume, Hachiman and Izaya sat at a nearby table to discuss business.
"Why did you decide to show up of all times, Izaya?" Hachiman asked in a tired tone.
"Just wanted to check in on my favorite hacker and see how he was holding up," Izaya replied with a grin. "…Is what I would say to you, but we both know I'm not that kind of person."
"If you were being sincere with that phrase, I would have thought you were an imposter," Hachiman snarked.
Izaya chuckled. "You and me both. Anyway, I'm gonna tell you what I came to see you for."
"About time," Hachiman replied. "What is it?"
Izaya leaned forward. "Have you heard about that smuggling gang that has been on the news lately? The ones dressed in combat gear?"
"Oh yeah," Hachiman said in a grim tone. "Sure Fire."
"The very same," Izaya replied. "Unlike most hoodlums in the city, they have been able to hold their own against the police and the Decency Squad for quite some time now. Mainly because they're armed."
Hachiman nodded. "From what I've heard, they've been using modified model firearms against them, make it impossible for either group to apprehend them."
"And it's been working lately," Izaya added. "As of today, the Decency Squad has had no end of trouble dealing with Sure Fire, but that's expected considering they have no formal training outside of tracking down perversion."
Hachiman sighed. "I'm guessing you want me to deal with them?"
Izaya grinned. "I knew you would say that. My intel suggests that one of their hideouts is at an old warehouse. Clear them out, and let the cops handle the rest."
"I trust that I'll be given the appropriate tools for this job," Hachiman said. "Considering that the people you're sending me after are armed and dangerous."
"But of course," Izaya replied, shifting his jacket to reveal a pistol in his pocket. "This bad boy is an airsoft replica of a Sig Sauer P320. What makes this one special is that it fires a non-lethal spherical round that hits with the force of a baseball bat."
Hachiman gave the info broker a skeptical look. "For some reason, that makes it sound a lot more lethal than you let on."
Izaya took out the weapon and gave it to Hachiman. "Not to worry, my friend. This has been tested multiple times on… eager volunteers."
"Okay, now you're being more suspicious than usual," Hachiman snapped quietly. "I'm not even entirely certain this fires only non-lethal rounds."
"Fine, don't take my word for it," Izaya said with a shrug. "Just keep all of your shots below the neck and above the belt." He noticed Hachiman raise an eyebrow. "Just because they're criminals just mean they should be neutered."
"Takes a criminal to know one," Hachiman replied in a dry tone.
"But aren't you one yourself, Mr. Hacker?" Izaya asked with a mocking grin. "Or did you forget what happened two months ago?"
Hachiman narrowed his eyes at Izaya, then took the firearm and put in in his school bag. "You're lucky we're in public, or else I would have tested this thing to see what you said about it is true."
"I doubt you could fire that even if you wanted to," Izaya said, pulling out a pistol clip from his pocket. "It's not even loaded." He handed the clip to Hachiman and stood up, stretching his arms and preparing to walk off.
"That's it, then?" Hachiman asked incredulously. "You give me a gun and walk off like you were never involved?"
Izaya sighed and grinned once more. "Hachiman, how long have we done business together? As far as both of us were concerned, I was never involved. I just point you in the required direction and give you the tools needed to finish the job. Everything else is on your shoulders."
"That first part is what many would call minor involvement," Hachiman responded. "But I have a feeling you'd find some way to worm out of any accusations thrown at you."
"Ah, and here I worried you didn't know me that well," Izaya said in mock relief. "Until we meet again, my friend."
He walked away from Hachiman, leaving him alone.
"To this day, I still don't know why I put up with him."
Ayame came by, holding a pair of large bags in each of her hands.
"Hey partner," she said with a grin. "How was your little mutual jerk?"
Hachiman sighed and stood up. "There was a jerk involved, but not the one you're familiar with."
Ayame's grin dropped. "Rough convo?"
Hachiman waved the clip in her face. "Like you wouldn't believe."
"Let me get this straight," Ayame said while she and Hachiman were on the train back home. "That Orihara guy gave you the info about the box that contained the program to disable to the PM system, and you took it, but now you have to do a hit on Sure Fire as payment for the info?"
"In a nutshell, yes," Hachiman replied, not liking the skeptical look Ayame gave him.
The ero-terrorist let out a sigh. "Are you sure there wasn't anything else you could do to pay him back?"
"I thought of asking him that, but chances are he would make me do something even more undesirable, so I decided against it," Hachiman admitted. "Izaya is just that kind of person."
"What made you associate with the likes of him anyway?" Ayame asked. "I can tell just by looking at him that he's the type of guy who takes pleasure in manipulating people."
"That's a story for another time," Hachiman said. "I'm not really prepared to explain the full details of our, as it pains me to say it, partnership."
Ayame stared at him for a few moments, then turned away with a grin. "Fair enough."
"Wait, what?" Hachiman said in surprise. "You're not going to grill me on why I'm making deals with a sleazy info broker?"
"Hey, I wouldn't tell you about my reasons for being you-know-who earlier," Ayame said. "I guess this makes us even."
Hachiman blinked in confusion, then sighed. "You are a lot more understanding then I gave you credit for."
"Just goes to show one shouldn't judge another by appearances alone," Ayame said. Her expression turned serious and she poked Hachiman in the head. "Don't think I approve of this little 'errand' Izaya has sent you on."
"No one said you had to," Hachiman sighed. "And quit acting like you're my wife."
After getting off the training, Hachiman and Ayame said their goodbyes and went on their separate ways. Ayame was headed home, but Hachiman had to do something before he did the same.
"Alright, let's get this over with," he said to himself.
He was currently in front of the warehouse Izaya told him about. He wore the same clothes he used to inflitrate the data center and held the gun Izaya gave him. Slowly, he walked towards the building, hearing the sounds of chatter grow louder with every step he took.
"This is primo stuff. We're sure to get serious dough for this."
"It's vintage and intact. I can definitely say we're getting one hell of a payday for this."
Hachiman hid behind a box and peeked out a bit. There, he saw eight people wearing camoflage uniforms and ski masks. Like Hachiman, all of them were armed with small pistols.
"These must be the grunts," he muttered. "Getting overconfident just because they have a stash of skin mags on hand." He chambered a round his pistol. "Time to scare some humility into them."
Moving from the box he hid behind to another where a grunt was leaning on, Hachiman took a look at the others to see if they were looking in their direction. Lucky for hi, none of them were doing the sort.
"Alright, Hikigaya. Remember your training."
He quickly grabbed the grunt from behind and delivered a swift chop to the back of his neck, knocking him immediately without alerting the others.
"One down, seven to go."
Hachiman took the pistol from the grunt he incapacitated and inspected it from every angle.
"This guy has a Sig Sauer as well, huh?" He removed the ammunition clip from the model firearm and patted the grunt's head. "At least you're going out with style."
He poked out his head to view the remaining grunts, who were still lazing about.
"This shouldn't be too difficult," he muttered. "I just need to knock the rest of them out and be on my-"
"Hey, Kazuya! When did you get quiet over there?" a grunt called out.
Hachiman mentally cursed himself for tempting fate.
"So much for stealth. Time to go loud and dumb."
He emerged from the box, alerting the other grunts and prompting them to point their weapons at him.
(Quantum Break OST: Dodging Bullets)
"Who are you?! And what have you done with Kazuya?!"
Hachiman chuckled. "Me? I'm just a simple hacker." He aimed his own gun at the group. "Who's about to wreck your shit six way from Monday."
The grunts flinched in surprise at his language. "What the… he just cursed at us! Why isn't his PM going off?!"
"What do I look like, a programmer?!" another grunt snapped. "Open fire!"
They shot at Hachiman, but he quickly ducked out of the line of fire behind a barrel. Peeking, he aimed at one of the grunts and shot him in the chest several times until he fell.
"Wow, these rounds pack a bigger punch than I thought," he mused. "Good thing too, because I want to get this over with."
Hachiman emerged from cover and shot at another grunt before he could fire at him. He narrowly dodged a hail of rounds fired at him and shot down the assailant.
"That leaves five more," he muttered, reloading his pistol. "I just hope I don't get any surprises."
One of the grunts broke open crate and took out an assault rifle. "Enjoy looking like a spotted mess, you punk!"
Once again, Hachiman cursed himself for jinxing himself as he saw the grunt shoot at him with the rifle, immediately ducking for cover to avoid getting hit.
"He's got a rifle," he groaned. "That militia wannabe is packing a rifle. I feel very insignificant compared to him."
The grunt stopped firing when Hachiman was no longer in his sight. "Go after him! He can't be allowed to report this to whoever sent him!"
The other grunts acknowledged the order and rushed to attack Hachiman. All of them got a surprise when their target jumped out of cover and punched one of them in the face, then shot at the other two. Hachiman held up the grunt he punched and threw him at the other grunt, knock him down.
The grunt holding the assault rifle glared fiercely at him as he quickly reloaded. "You son of a-"
"Yeah, let's not to do that," Hachiman said, rushing towards the grunt, vaulting over the crate before punching him, grabbing the rifle from his hands and beating his head with the weapon, knocking him out.
(End song)
"And like that, it's over. I hope Izaya appreciates what I did for his snake ass."
Hachiman held up the rifle he took from the grunt and inspected it.
"An HK416. It's a decent weapon." He looked at the prone grunt with distain. "Wasted on the likes of you and yours."
He took the ammunition clips from the grunt and quickly rushed towards the exit, picking up his back and place his ill-gotten goods inside.
"I'm gonna sleep like a log when I get home. I'm not going to get up, even if the alarm goes off."
-The Next Day-
Hachiman had really wished he'd slept despite the alarm, otherwise he wouldn't be in his current position.
Said position involved him being tied to chair in room he was unfamiliar with.
"This is not how I wanted to start my morning," he groaned.
"It's about time you woke up, Mr. Hikigaya."
Hachiman looked at who spoke to him, as well the reason he was like this to begin with, who was none other than Hyōka, who was pouring a steaming black liquid into a beaker.
"Where in God's name am I?" he asked with an irritated tone.
"We are in the school chemistry lab," Hyōka answered, putting down the beaker and walking past him. "I had a pressing question for you, so I invited you here."
"The only people who would consider what you pulled an 'invitation' are those shady groups who are plotting something," Hachiman snarked.
For those who require context on how Hachiman ended up where he was, here is what happened.
-5 Minutes Earlier-
Hachiman arrived at the lockers, letting out a loud yawn. He took off his shoes and opened his locker, only to be hit with a cloud of purple mist that shot out from the locker, causing him to lose consciousness and fall to the floor. Before he went under, he caught that faint image of a seaweed haired girl wearing a gas mask.
-Present Time-
"And here I thought my previous school was loaded with freaks," Hachiman grumbled. "But even a coven of decency like Tokioka has its fair share."
Hyōka walked up to Hachiman, holding up a box that was covered with a small sheet.
"Take a look at this box," she said simply.
Hachiman narrowed with eyes at the box. "As a famous internet personality once said, I don't like where this is going. But I must know what you in there."
"My pet flies," Hyōka replied. "They are currently melding their bodies together.
She began to lift up the sheet from box, revealing the flies in a position far too provocative for even the most daring amateur writer to describe. The sight caused all the blood in Hachiman's face to drain significantly.
"Just when you think you've seen Hell, life finds a way to surprise and/or disgust you," he groaned.
"I recently discovered that when a female fly lays eggs, she joins her lower with the lower body of a male fly," Hyōka said, ignoring Hachiman's remark. "I hypothesize this body melding is central to fly reproduction and a similar phenonemon must happen between a human male and female, and so my question is: what do you think about that?"
She leaned close towards Hachiman, making him all kinds of uncomfortable.
"I think you need to see someone," he said. "Or at the very least, smoke some pot. I never done it myself, but maybe you could give it a shot and see what happens." A silent, yet quick scraping noise was heard from behind him. "But to really answer your question, I'm not a big fan of flies. I'm too busy with swatting or shooing them off to fully comprehend what their mating habits are like. That said…"
He shot up from the chair he was bound in, the ropes that confined his being cut apart.
"But… how?" Hyōka asked in surprise before noticing a metal object in Hachiman's left hand. "A nail file?"
"Yep," he replied as he pocketed the object. "This bad boy has helped me out of many jam, a lot of them involving rope." He glanced at Hyōka before leaving. "I'll talk you later, hopefully something that's not cringe-worthy."
He left the room, leaving Hyōka all alone.
"I fail to comprehend what marijuana has to do with our conversation," she said.
"Glad to see that you got the job done, Hachiman. I was worried you would've chickened out at the last second."
"Yeah, you would like that, you viper," Hachiman whispered venomously. "I shot all of those Sure Fire posers on your behalf, so I hope this makes us even."
"Judging from the news report this early morning, I suppose so," Izaya said. "But I hope this doesn't mean your terminating our little partnership."
"Of course not," Hachiman replied. "As much as I hate to admit it, I couldn't have come close to where I am without your guidance."
"Ah, your praise warms my little black heart," Izaya swooned. "Talk to you later, Kumo."
CALL ENDED
Hachiman slumped back, his sigh reverbing around the stall he sat in.
"Finally got him off my back," he muttered. "At least for now until he has some other dirty job for me to do." He let what he said sink in and groaned. "Damn. Ayame's starting to rub off on me… thank God she's not around to hear that."
He soon heard some mumbling outside of his stall.
"Hey, did you hear? Word is, if you wear a girl's undergarments, your pe- I mean, your tricky stick falls off."
"Whoa, seriously? Because I heard wearing a girl's underthings makes you grow, um, schmammary glands."
"Guys, did you know if a girl lifts weights, her hair down there turns into a boy pickle?"
"Oh, come on, that doesn't seem credible."
Every word that came out of the boys mouths made Hachiman cringe like he never had before.
"That's silly," Ayame said with her arms crossed. "Obviously, if a girl grows a boy pickle, it's a mutation of her rhymes-with-flitoris."
Hachiman let out a long sigh laden with frustration. "I knew it was a mistake telling you what I heard, and I knew I should have blocked that noise out when I had the chance."
"Well, it's a good thing you didn't," Ayame said. "This is the true nature of Tokioka, the most moral school in Japan. Everyone constantly gossips about forbidden topics using codewords PMs can't detect, but it's all ignorant bunk because they've been sheltered from the truth."
"So they're all just brainwashed and don't realize it, huh?" Hachiman deadpanned. "Stop the goddamn presses."
Ayame threw down more cards of provocative women, prompting Hachiman to pick them all up. He inspected all of them, but his favorite was a green haired girl with snake-like eyes in a nun outfit with her cleavage exposed, licking a knife.
"Not my kind of thing, but I like it," he commented, putting the picture in his pocket.
"No matter how many hotties I throw out, they still won't get it," Ayame said. "'Cause we're missing the most important part: the old docking manouver."
"Well, keep in mind that it was still illegal to show the act long before this ass-backwards law came in to fruition," Hachiman said, stacking all the cards and handing them over to Ayame.
"Let's not get off course here," Ayame advised, taking the stack from him. "The point is, as founding members of SOX, it's our duty to educate the ignorant masses of this school about what docking actually is."
"If that's the case, that Hyōka girl seems like a worth candidate as a member," Hachiman said. "A little on the creepy side with no sense of personal space, but she appears interested in the subject of docking." He shuddered at the recent memory. "Disturbing as it is."
"No way!" Ayame protested. "That chick is full-blown crazy in the head."
"Hearing that from you doesn't really make me feel confident," Hachiman deadpanned, then grew a smirk. "Although, I have some ideas involving a pair of flies that have been doing their version of the horizantal tango."
Ayame's eyes widened in surprise and interest. "Wait, what?" She grew quickly grew a smirk of her own. "That's perfect! This weekend's school assembly is getting dirty terrorized!"
As she laughed victoriously, Hachiman kept his smirk.
"I've created a monster. But at least she's a monster with a great rack."
-That Weekend-
Hachiman and Ayame stood outside the school field, ready to carry out their plan.
"We're really doing this, aren't we?" he said.
"Of course we are, champ," she replied vigorously, handing him a pair of panties. "Just remember to put on your game face."
Hachiman was slightly off-put by the scandalous number he was given, but he quickly handed it back to her. "I appreciate the offer, but I came prepared." He lifted a large bag and unzipped it, showing Ayame what was inside. Judging from her expression, she was impressed.
"Ooh, aren't we prepared," she mused.
"What can I say?" Hachiman said. "I'm a man of surprises."
(Persona 5 OST: Last Surprise)
"Alright! Our rebellion has begun!" Ayame cheered as she took of her glasses and undid her ponytail. "Now it's time to say goodbye to this boring world where dirty jokes doesn't exist! From this day onward, things get titillating!" She said this while pumping her fist into the air with her thumb between her index and middle finger.
In the auditorium, the students were all seated to hear the assembly.
"Today, we have a very important announcement," the school chairman said. "Next month, we kickoff our campaign to collect signatures for the approval of the new, more stringent ban we're calling: X Prohibition."
Before more could be said, the lights suddenly went out, then extral lights shined on some large spheres that hung from the supports on the ceilling. They soon opened up, causing cards to fall from them and decend to the crowd beneath them, where they immediately caught them.
"A picture of a woman? She isn't wearing much. What is this for?"
"Um, I feel kinda weird."
"I feel… warm and tingly."
Everyone began reacting to the cards in various ways. Some looked with curiousity, while others were more vocal in with their reactions.
"Stop looking!" the chairman ordered. "STOP!"
The teachers attempted to make the students cease, but to no avail.
"Please stay calm, teachers!" Anna ordered. "We have to think!" She bit her thumbnail as a frustrated scowl marred her serene features.
"This is a diversion," she thought. "Blue Snow must have another target!"
Suddenly, her PM began beeping, briefly interrupting her thought. She tapped it on saw Ayame's name on the screen.
"Anna, there's someone outside on the track," Ayame said on the other line.
Anna's eyes widened. "I knew it! Mr. Goriki, teachers, come on, let's go!"
Out on the track, Hachiman, dressed in a red hoodie, black pants and shoes and a skull mask ran the line striper around, forming a particular shape.
Ayame was in the AV room, standing in front of two incapacitated students while wearing her "mask."
"Foreplay's over," she said. "Time to go all the way. Don't let them catch you, Hachiman."
"Roger that," he replied.
Ayame turned up the volume, letting her voice be heard over the speakers.
"Ah~! We can't! You're a rebel who wears leather and I'm a good little girl rich girl at the top of my class~!"
On the screen was a video of the flies melding their bodies for all to see.
"But look how wet you are. I know you want me and my bad boy 'tude."
"Oh! Yes, yes I do~! Thrust your schlong into my house like there's no tomorrow~!"
"Here I go! Brace yourself for my rebel love."
Hyōka watched what was playing, but her expression was unchanged.
"What is this?" she asked.
She looked around to see the other students watch as strange noises were heard. Noises that caused them to feel… well, strange.
"Oh! Oh, wow! It's so good! Oh my God, oh my God!"
The feelings within the students soon began to reach their peak.
"W-What's happening to my bathing suit area?"
BODYMELD
"I'm warm and I don't know why!"
BODYMELD
"What's happening to my body?" was the collective thought of every student present.
Another student had a similar thought.
"What is this feeling…?"
As the sounds continued, the proverbial dam, or volcano in some cases, erupted.
"I'M SO HOT~!"
"Me too! What is that?!"
All of the students collapsed, unable to comprehend what they were feeling.
"Ahh~ Shoot your hot spunk inside me!" Ayame cried out in the most sensual tone ever made.
Anna, Goriki and the a handful of teacher rushed through the halls to get to the track to stop whoever was out there.
At the same time, Hachiman continued moving the striper in a fixed direction, already having a shape in mind.
"This is just the beginning," he said, excitement running through his veins. "This is how we change the world. We're going to start an insurrection to make the people see what they're missing out on." He chuckled to himself. "Nah, that's far too tame. We're getting them to embrace their base instincts and open their eyes and hearts to the sinful things in life. This is my… our… sinsurrection."
KS: This is just the beginning. Hachiman and Ayame will tear off the facade the world has confined itself in and make it see the light. That's from me, people. Leave your likes and comments down below. I'm out. Peace.