KS: Good evening, everyone. My deepest apologies for being off so long again. College is really keeping me on my toes lately, and I want to make sure that I get some good marks to stay on my family's good side. But enough about personal worries, let's get to something cool. Oregairu has officially ended, though I have yet to actually see it, but rest assured that I intend to. Also, the hype for Watch Dogs Legion is more real than it ever was before with new trailers, game modes, free updates and a season pass that features the OG himself, Aiden Pearce. Plus, we'll be getting it near the end of the month, so that's something to look forward to. Anyway, that's enough from me. Let's get into the story.

Hachiman knew he was in trouble now. He believed that the task Ayame entrusted him with would be simple. All he had to do was find a hidden stash of magazines from a secluded area and bring them back so that he and her could do… whatever was needed to do with them.

However, the cruel and impartial mistress known as fate has screwed him over once more.

Outside of the cabin he hid in were a small group of yakuza grunts who were searching around the perimeter, hoping to get a glimpse of the owner of the motorcycle. Which was him, for clarification's sake.

"Okay, gotta think of a plan here," Hachiman said to himself. "I'm sure that the yakuza still have some class and wouldn't harm a minor, regardless of the reason. However, they do look determined to retrieve the ill-gotten materials that I was order to pick up. Makes me wonder how they found out about it."

Meanwhile, the yakuza grunts continued searching the area.

"Maybe he's not here," one of them said. "There could be another abandoned cabin far from this one."

"Don't be an idiot," the second man replied. "What reason would he have to ditch his bike here and walk at least 20 miles to reach another cabin? Assuming there is one."

"Yeah, I have to agree," the third added. "No one in their right mind would leave their bike just to walk to another hypothetical cabin in the woods."

The fourth man released a haggard sigh. "Look, it doesn't matter if there's a second cabin or not. All we need to do is get into that cabin, get the mags and bring 'em back. I'm not gonna risk losing any fingers because you lot won't get your ba-"

"Careful, you idiot," the second grunt hissed. "You nearly set off your PM. Are you trying to get us caught?"

The grunts began to argue, causing Hachiman to sigh in frustration.

"Alright, to hell with it," he said to himself. "Time to rip off this bandage."

He slowly opened the door and and walked out with his hands up, getting the attention of the yakuza grunts who pointed their guns at him.

"Who are you?" one of them said. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm not looking for any trouble," Hachiman said. "I'm just here to pick up some magazines and printing some of the pictures from it."

"Is that all you're here to do?" another one asked.

"Yes," Hachiman replied. "What do you lot need them for?"

"Those things are worth a lot of cash on the black market," the third grunt answered. "Not that a punk kid like you would understand."

Hachiman let the insult slide for the time being and focused on making peace with the grunts. "Listen, how about I cut you lot a deal? I'll print out the photos in the magazines, and once I'm done, I'll give them to you."

The grunts looked at each other, considering the offer.

"It sounds like a decent trade," one of them said. "And he sounds genuine about it too."

"I don't know," a second grunt replied. "We've seen those kinds of people before, and they lie their rear ends off before we torture the truth out of them."

"True, but the kid doesn't look like he's lying," the third replied. "What has he got to lose?"

"Okay, everyone shut up for a minute," the fourth man interrupted. "We're going to find out if this kid is lying. Just follow my lead."

He walked up to Hachiman, and his comrades followed him, despite their confusion.

"Look kid, let's say we give you the mags so that you can print the pictures off of them," he said. "What do you intend to do with them?"

"Hide them in certain places at my school," Hachiman answered honestly.

The fourth man gave him a skeptical look. "Oh really? What school do you go to?"

Hachiman looked the man in the eye as he responded. "Tokioka Academy."

The grunts stared at him for a few seconds, then broke into laughter, much to the young man's confusion.

"What's so funny?" Hachiman asked. "I was being completely serious."

The laughter soon subsided and the yakuza grunts catch their breath.

"Sorry about that," the first grunt said. "We haven't gotten a good laugh in years since this law came to pass. And we don't think you're joking. We laugh because anyone who's got stones big enough to pull something like what you plan to do is just amusing."

Hachiman narrowed his eyes skeptically. "Right…"

"But we can tell you're serious about it, so we'll let you go with the mags," the man continued. "And when you're done, just bring them to a location we'll specify and drop them off. We'll handle the rest."

"Alright then," Hachiman said. "We got a deal. Now where do you want me to drop them off?"

One of the grunts took a piece of paper and a pen, then wrote a specific address and handed it to Hachiman, who took it.

"Looks like we've got ourselves a deal," Hachiman said. "I'll get the goods to you once I'm done. Are you fine with a late evening pick-up?"

"Sure thing," the first grunt replied. "Just be careful. The Decency Squad has been amping up their patrols lately. All these groups are causing them no end of trouble. I tell you, Absolute Hemline is nothing to sneeze at."

"Forget those posers," the second interjected. "What about Advanced Assembly? Not once have they been caught."

"Yeah, well, they've got squat on the Mammals," the third cut in. "They're always slipping past the radar one way or another."

"You're all dumber than you look," the fourth scoffed. "If there's one group the DS is tearing out their hair over, it's without any doubt the Committee of Bacon Lettuce Moms. They have over 50 members strong and happen to be one of the older groups in Japan. It's an understatement to say that they're people you don't want as an enemy."

As the four argued on which group was most powerful, Hachiman decided that he should make his exit and walked towards his bike.

"Man, I've heard more civilized debates involving Death Battle," he muttered as he got on his bike. Then a thought popped into his mind, causing him to sigh. "Oh, who am I trying to fool? There are no civilized debates when it comes to Death Battle."

He stared his bike and drove off, leaving the grunts alone.

Upon reaching the hideout, Hachiman and Ayame immediately got to work on printing the magazine pictures. No words were exchanged between the two as the illicit pictures grew in number.

"Shut up," Hachiman said as he prepared the next picture.

Ayame shot him an indignant look. "I didn't even say anything."

"You were thinking," Hachiman replied. "It's annoying."

Ayame pouted. "Whatever. So, wanna tell me what the hold up was?"

"Long story short, I ran into some yakuza grunts," Hachiman said. "They needed the mags to sell on the black market. Probably to get some funds in their coffers."

Ayame snorted as the next picture was printed. "Doesn't surprise. With this law put into play, a lot of the yakuza's side businesses got the shaft real quick. Mainly those involving prostitution and soap houses."

"Yeah, I heard about a guy who joked about opening up a soap house on the sly," Hachiman sighed. "No sooner than a day later did the the Decency Squad arrest him."

"It's not enough for them to can people for so-called 'immoral' words and actions," Ayame growled. "Now they're willing to throw the book at anyone who jokes about opening business involving pleasure." She crumbled up a picture and threw it at the wall, taking out her cellphone. "It's fucked up beyond all cocksucking, ass-slapping recognition!"

Hachiman kept his gaze on the printer, but his eyes grew significantly large from hearing the girl's rant. Of course, his eyes weren't the only thing of his that grew large.

"I have the weirdest boner," he whispered to himself.

The next day came, and Hachiman and Ayame immediately got to work. They hid the printed pictures in places that the staff would pay no mind to, but where students accessed on a regular basis. Hachiman managed to lessen his load by placing his collected pictures in very strategic locations.

"Thank God no one is around to see me like this, or I'd be getting the inquisition real quick," he muttered.

As he walked, he stopped near the faculty room when he saw a picture of a boy chasing a girl in a flowery field. Both of them were very happy, and Hachiman couldn't help but smile himself as he walked in to get a closer look.

"Whoever made this is a true artist in every sense of the word," he said.

He looked at the name plate underneath the picture and it read, "Otome Saotome, Third Year."

"I should meet this Saotome person," Hachiman said. "I could get some pointers."

He left the room and continued with his task. He made his way towards the biology room and opened the door, only to be met with the last person in every known existence.

"Isn't it a lovely morning?" Hyoka said in a tired voice. "Wanna discuss the process of body melding with me?"

"Not even if all the circles of Hell were to be hit with a freak blizzard," Hachiman replied quickly and irritably. "Also, I'm part of the student council, so I'm not obligated to heed a request as sensitive as yours."

"I am aware of your rank and status, yes," Hyoka said. "Are you aware that I am an aspiring scientist? Therefore, it pleases me greatly to see the data from the video support my hypothesis, and that to achieve this result, Blue Snow made use of my personal test flies."

Hachiman blinked at her blunt response. "How did you know those flies were yours?"

"There are several observations I made that led me to that conclusion," Hyoka replied. "For starters, the female's leg spasms at the peak of melding match those of my Specimen 43 exactly, and the male's pe-" Once again, Hyoka stopped herself from triggering her PM. "The cucumber slipped into her ripened peach so easily, I was certain the male of the duo was Specimen 53."

Hachiman just stared at the girl, wondering why he wasting his time with her.

"So what do you think, Mr. Hikigaya? Shall we assume male and female humans' bodies meld the same way as flies?"

Sighing, Hachiman did what he should've done from the beginning and walked away from Hyoka, much to her confusion.

"What was I thinking, suggesting that she could be a member?"

Hachiman and Ayame were now in the student council room, having serious looks on their faces.

"We gotta aim lower, beyond ol' dirty pictures," Ayame said with her arms crossed. "If I had a magic wand between my legs, we'd be papering the school with a bunch of new dirty pictures. But it's too risky to try making that dream a reality."

"It's not only risky, but also exaggerated," Hachiman replied. "And that's not getting into the other dreaded feature of the PM: just drawing a picture of a suggestive body part is enough to ring its alarm and have the Decency Squad knocking down your door faster than you can say 'El Psy Kongroo'."

Ayame slammed her fists on the table, finally letting out her frustration.

(Sonic Adventure OST: Unbound)

"In the good old days, they could digitally remove the grass on an actress' garden or enlarge an actor's mushroom so viewers could see what was being played with! Back then, people cared about making others happy." Sighing, she laid her head on the table with a sad look. "Our country used to suck, now we just blow."

"Not how I would put it," Hachiman replied with a solemn look. "But I agree. Society has gone to Hell in a goddamn handbasket."

Ayame continued to look sad. "They even lock up little kids for saying the wrong thing. Treat 'em like monsters just for saying 'fur burger'. It's a new dark age. They act like dirty jokes are worse than murder."

Hearing that made Hachiman's heart sink. Never in his life would he have thought that spouting obscene phrases would be a far more dire offense than homicide. The mere notion was enough further his discontent at the law.

"This country really needs to set its priorities back in order, or we're all screwed."

(Song end)

The student council meeting was in full effect, and Anna paced around the room.

(Fate/Grand Order OST: Dark Clouds to Clear)

"There's a new problem," the student council president said. "Students have them finding actual paper copies of old unhealthy pictures all over the school."

Hachiman slammed his fist on the desk, keeping up his act. "Curse these terrorists. They'll stop at nothing to wipe out the moral foundation this school has built."

Immediately, his eye caught on to a very suggestive picture of a woman holding mushroom between her breasts.

"Crap…" he thought.

"We cannot stand idly by while our campus is overrun by pictures of body parts!" Anna announced. "The faculty has been warning that our school physicals, where we're at our most vulnerable, could be the next target of terrorism! As the student council, we must declare a school-wide moral emergency-" She paused her rant when she saw Hachiman pointing behind her with a strained look. "Hachiman, you look like something's bothering you."

"That picture on the wall," he said stiffly. "It's bothering me quite a lot."

Anna paid no mind to his remark and smiled. "Isn't it pretty? I found it in the shoe closet. No one said it was there, so I took it and framed it add a little culture to our council meeting."

"Yeah, I'm afraid that you did the opposite," Hachiman replied tersely. "Because that picture is one of the many that the terrorists have left lying around."

"What?!" Anna yelped in shock. "That's unclean? All I see is a peasant girl about to enjoy midday snack in the form of a thick, blood mushroom. The only thing that puzzles me, though, is why she isn't using her hands to eat it. Must be some kind of traditional party game."

Hachiman had to stop himself from chuckling at Anna's innocent, yet ignorant observation.

"Hey," Goriki interjected. "I'm not the only one who thought that was just a rotten banana, right?"

"Oh, big surprise," Ayame said. "Goriki always has bananas on the brain."

"That's not true," Goriki protested. "I hate bananas."

Anna wasted no time in taking down the picture, throwing it in the wastebasket and throwing a match in there, burning the picture for good measure.

(Song end)

"I'll take your word for it, but I still don't understand why it's lewd," she said.

Ayame nudged Hachiman with a playful grin on her face.

"You're up," she said. "Go explain to her what that mushroom's really about."

"There's a time and place for that," Hachiman whispered. "And this isn't either."

Ayame's grin grew. "Then perhaps the gorilla and I should give her a demonstration."

"Not happening," Hachiman snapped.

Anna immediately noticed the banter between the two as she turned around. "Wow, it didn't take long for you two to become bosom buddies, did it?"

"It's nothing more than a professional relationship," Hachiman said.

"I'm glad you get along so well," Anna replied. "Ayame might seem a bit cold at first, but once you get her warmed up, you'll find that she's just a big softy inside."

Ayame blushed madly at the compliment. "Can we change the subject?"

Anna ignored her as she continued. "I'll give you an example. One time she tried to pick up a stray cat, but it scratched her and she cried. Also, if you tickle her too hard, she'll-"

"Stop it!" Ayame snapped, taking out a roll of tape and charged at Anna, only to have Goriki stop her.

"Hey! This is student council treason!"

"I don't need a constitutional law lecture from you, Gorilla," Ayame said. "Now help me tape Chatty Cathy's mouth shut!"

"You know that's not my name!" Goriki replied irritably.

Ayame struggled against his iron grip. "How much do you want for your help? A dozen bananas? A crate? A Costa Rican crown in your name?!"

"How many times do I have to say this?" Goriki growled. "I. Hate. Bananas!"

Hachiman couldn't help but laugh loudly at the sight, knowing that Ayame can get so flustered about something that didn't involve perversion. He stopped when he saw Anna smile at him.

"This sounds strange, Mr. Hikigaya, but since you became a member, student council meetings have never been more civil."

Now it was Hachiman's turn to be flustered, as he never had someone smile at him so. He has received such looks before in the past, but Anna's was far different. It really struck a chord in him.

The meeting closed and everyone left the room. Hachiman and Ayame walked down the halls together.

"Who would've thought that cats don't like you," he chuckled. "I guess you have normal hang ups beneath all your perverse nature."

"Shut up, you dirty hacker," Ayame said sourly. "I'm sure you've got your fair share of dirty laundry that could be aired out."

"All in good time my dear," Hachiman replied in a posh tone. "For now, let us enjoy this evening and the meeting behind us. Life is far too short. Almost like Anna's radiant hair."

Ayame faked gagging in response. "Look, if you're gonna do what I think you're gonna do, then make sure you've got loads of hand sanitizer afterwards. I'd rather not touch your hands after what you plan to do with them."

Hachiman shot her a dirty look. "Okay, that's below the belt. I would never consider doing such a thing."

"But I bet you considered having Anna below yours," Ayame shot back.

Hachiman reeled back, surprised with the emotional 180 Ayame was performing. "This is going to sound weird coming from me, but what crawled up your ass that made so irritable?"

"None of your business," she replied.

Hachiman sighed, then smirked. "In any case, it's nice to see you get knocked down a few pegs, and Anna seems to be the perfect girl to do it."

"She rise as far as she has by being dumb," Ayame replied. "And because she wields her intellect with a smile, she's bulletproof. If Anna were to snap, there's no telling the suffering that would befall us."

Hachiman sighed once more, but instead of smirk, it was a frown. "Normally, I'd say you were exaggerating, but you might have a point. Anna is as pure as freshly fallen snow, and God only know what happens if she were to be exposed to anything that isn't pure, same with everyone else."

As they walked past the stairway, Hachiman decided to ask question that has been lingering on in his mind.

"By the way, when did you get so defensive earlier? I doubt it had to do with the meeting."

Ayame turned to meet his gaze with a serious expression.

"You ever watch the news?" she asked.

"Not as much as I'd like to admit," Hachiman replied, prompting Ayame to grab him by his tie and pull him closer.

"The X-Prohibition Law? Anna's mother is the activist Sophia Nishikinomiya and the whole thing's her pet legislation!"

Hachiman's eyes widened. "Wait, did you just say Sophia Nishikinomiya?"

"Yeah," Ayame replied. "The president of the national PTA. She also happens to be the wife of the politician behind the original law for public order and morals."

Hachiman pulled away, then whistled. "Damn. Anna's got quite the shoes to fill with parents like those."

(Payday: The Heist OST: Preparations)

They found themselves on the school rooftop, where the discussion involving Anna's parents continued.

"Under the new X-Prohibition Law, the Nishikinomiyas are proposing the government would receive even broader powers to use PMs record anyone underage," Ayame said. "And you can bet you sweet ass that Blume's going to capitalize on the idea considering that the PMs are connected to CtOS."

"Well, it's common knowledge that improper vocabulary and pictures trigger the damned things," Hachiman replied. "What differentiates this new law from that?"

"It's not different," Ayame said. "It's way worse. They're gonna monitor every part of our daily lives, forget just the dirty talk. Let's say you're out and about when you see a hot chick's armpit, only it's hairy and it reminds you of her pussy, so you start stroking your cock to get the poison out before it backs up and hurts your brain. With the new law, they'd be able to record how many strokes it took for you to pop to that armpit girl." She smirks and pats Hachiman's shoulder. "'Course, I'd bet part of you is excited at the thought of you being watched like that."

Hachiman knocks her hand away and scoffs. "Not likely. Unlike you, I don't like being watched. And I do the watching around here, damn it."

Ayame's smile dropped. "And that's just the tip of the penis for how things get if we let that become law. I may seem like I'm flying off the handle with what I'm doing, but at least I'm rational about where our society's headed. Worst of all, if this law passes, SOX won't be able to educate the students, even on the sly. Imagine the whole country slowly filling up with know-nothings."

"Is Hyoka one of them?" Hachiman asked.

"Don't forget Anna," Ayame pointed out. "She looks at a dirty picture and sees a girl tasting a mushroom. That is not the brain of a normal healthy teenager."

Hachiman sighed and crossed his arms. "Can't argue with that logic. I've heard enough horror stories about how this law is making our already meager birth rate close to non-existant. I'd rather not deal with anymore sleepless nights."

Ayame nodded. "So you know that we've no other option."

"More than you can imagine," Hachiman replied.

(Song end)

Suddenly, his PM started to ring.

"Huh. I wonder who that is."

He looked at the screen, but the caller ID read "Unknown."

"It might be a scam caller," Ayame said. "But it's your life."

Hachiman tapped the answer button. "Hello?"

"Is this Hachiman Hikigaya?" a young voice asked.

Hachiman looked at Ayame with a grim expression, and she matched him in kind.

"Who's asking?"

"A party who shares your feelings on this law and how it's affecting our country", the voice replied. "I wish to meet with you sometime today."

"Is this invitiational optional?" Hachiman asked.

"Let me put it to you this way," the voice said. "Either you show up on your own, or I get my men to make you show up. Those are the only options I'm presenting to you."

Hachiman sighed. "Then I guess it would be rude to turn you down."

The voice chuckled. "Smart man. Don't get a lot of people like you nowadays. Anyway, meet me at the Reg-On Diner in Shibuya within an hour and half. Bring a lady friend if you wish, but make sure you're punctual. Or else."

The call ended, leaving the two concerned.

"Who do you think that was?" Ayame asked.

"Judging from how they spoke, I have two observations," Hachiman said. "They hold a lot of power, and they can either be our greatest ally… or our biggest threat."

Ayame shot him a skeptical look. "That… sounded like three observations."

Hachiman waved her off. "Eh, details."

KS: Well, looks like Hachiman and Ayame have a date. Only this date with someone who's got some clout on their hands. What events are they in for should they make their way to Shibuya? All we be explained in the next chapter... when I get to it. Also, on a somewhat related note, how would you feel if I started making trailers for this fic involving the setting, story and characters? I've been inspired by Legion, and I wanted to try something like that. Let me know in the comment section. Peace.