6
Spike and Angel opened the doors easily, leaving the men slumped against the wall. None of clubbers had noticed them, so busy they were in their mundane, little dances that they couldn't see danger under their nose, even now being aware of what walked in the night. Still, all the better for them. They didn't need another commotion. They stepped through into the hallway. Had left Xander alone with that Mok'Tagar Demon for a few moments now. Spike hoped nothing had happened to the sod.
Dawn'd light him on fire if that was the case.
The corridor was empty, a spiralled purple, orange neon and black carpet that'd give him a headache if he looked at it too long, and dim, old-fashioned looking lamps casting a hazy glow on the vertically striped white walls.
The corridor was empty, but Spike could hear a faint protest that was undeniably the Droopy boy.
"I mean, I don't really think that… we have to do this right this second. We could get to your room first. Or have a nice drink in a like, public place." Xander sounded a little breathless, and in silent, but swift strides, Spike and Angel rounded the corner, their black jackets sweeping out behind them in unison. And there she was, sodding close now. Her slender, but voluptuously curved body had caged between the wall and her, and she was looking at him perplexed, and a little offended. Lyth's lipstick was smeared a little, and from the pink tinge to Xander's cheeks and the off-color of his mouth, Spike could see where it had been smeared onto.
"You don't want me?" She tried to sound affronted, but it came out like a pained whine instead, uncertainty flashing in those brown eyes. And then she saw them. Saw Spike first, her eyes landing on him with no modicum of obliviousness. Fear, but not surprise colored her expression, and then her mouth hardened into a straight line, kicking at Xander's heel and sending the boy tripping, stumbling towards her. She steadied him as she rotated back, her hand clutched at his throat as she used him as a body shield, a wall between her and a vampire. Her eyes shone a bright, unnatural demon blue.
"I'll tear his throat out if you come closer," She warned. One hand was splayed across Xander's stomach. "So that's why you didn't want to have sex with me," Lyth cooed to her captive. "You're with them, obviously. Good, I was beginning to think I lost my touch."
Xander made a sound that wasn't entirely intelligible, due to the voracity in which the Mok'Tagar demon grabbed his throat.
"Worried you, did it?" Spike growled. He and Angel had frozen in almost equal tandem, though Spike's foot had carried him further before he took Lyth's threat to heart.
"And here I was, thinking I was doing you a charity," Lyth continued to chastise Xander. "You know, once a week, pick an obviously mundane, gawky man and give him the night of his life, but you were making me think there was something wrong with me. Kind of rude."
Her fingers released enough for him to cough out a, "Sorry." His single eye widened towards Angel and Spike in alarm and obvious concern for his own life. As he rightly should be. Mok'Tagar demons packed a punch. Not to be trifled with, but that was exactly what Spike was sodding doing. Just the look of her incited a rage in him, clenching his hands into fists so hard he heard them crack. Her dress was high-collared, not her style, but he had no doubt it was to hide what was not hers. He could almost see it, in his mind's eye, a little bulge at her throat that he wanted to rip off, her throat included.
"It's nice to see you squirm. You're kind of cute when you fear for your life," Lyth smiled to Xander. The demon's vivid blue eyes had returned to Spike to see where he had his. "Don't even think about it," Lyth warned. "Okay, we both know you're thinking about it, but don't try it, or one-eyed boy gets his throat out."
"Just let him go," Angel said quietly. "We just want to talk."
Lyth sent him a smouldering gaze. "As if I'd trust anything you'd say, Angelus."
"Angel. It's Angel. Does every demon know who I am?" Angel shrugged his shoulders in mild annoyance.
"Just the ugly ones, I imagine," Spike shot back.
Lyth's eyebrows shot down towards her eyes, angry, her fingers tightening on her catch.
Xander let out a wheeze. "Please don't make the nice lady holding my throat angry," his voice was hardly more than a squeak.
"That's rude. I'm not ugly. I just like the rings to change my appearance. Not that I need to!" Lyth snapped irritably.
"A bit sensitive today, are you?" Spike asked, his voice spiteful. "I wonder why."
Lyth looked at him, her expression cold. "It was a waste of time to try to find me. You can't catch me. Poof, and I'm gone. It's that simple."
"But you're not yet, are you?" Spike asked. "Just turn tail an' run, you sodding bint."
"Spike," Angel warned, his black eyes flitting from between the demon and Spike.
"Have you noticed things are a bit off yet? Technicolor not working out for you?"
"I'm doing just fine, thank you," Lyth said, her fingers digging into Xander's arm. "Better than ever. Not that I needed it. I was doing just fine without it—"
"Didn't need it!" Spike snapped. "Didn't need? It's not yours! Don't you bloody treat Jade's soul like a purse you couldn't help buying, you bitch. It was never yours. You took it from her."
Lyth's lips thinned. "It wasn't a grand plan. I just thought about it. Plenty. And you—you hand delivered her into my lap, and finally. I could do it. So I did, and is that so wrong? I saw an opportunity, and I used it."
"She trusted you!" Spike snarled.
"Well, that was her mistake," Lyth said simply, just enough sympathy entering her tone. "She knew what I wanted. All this time. And I respected her enough to know she could stop me. So I didn't try. But this time. I knew I could." Her eyes glowed with faint triumph.
"You bitch."
"I've spent years here. A hundred, nearly. Hiding. Hanging out with the most deplorable of company so that my kind wouldn't come here and drag me back. I deserved this. Finally. I deserved my freedom."
"So you can live it up and party," Spike sneered. "You're bloody disgusting."
"No, the people I had to spend time with were disgusting. Demons with fur hanging from their nose or five eyes. Vampires, like yourselves. I'm tired of it." Lyth's eyes travelled between the two champions.
"Bleeding. Tragedy, that is." Spike said, not attempting to control his sarcasm. "Write a sodding book 'bout it."
Lyth regarded him coolly. "I bet you were a lot hotter before you got a conscience."
"Well, your addition didn't make you any less bloody ugly. I think it made it worse."
She blinked, her lips screwing up, ruffled. Not quite the hard bitch that she was before, who gave no bloody shits about anything. She was different. Spike could see that, although right now, it just served to make her more deplorable. "I'm going to leave now," She told them. "Don't follow me."
"Don't go." Spike growled. Lyth tilted her head haughtily.
"You have no control over me." She said, and now her lips twisted into a smile. "You can't stop me."
"Your ticket to bloody ride isn't free. Y'think it is. But it'll change you. That soul's not yours. Won't fit right." She was right, sodding right. He couldn't stop her, but he could talk. Hurling insults had gotten nowhere, and as much as he hated the desperate edge that crept into his tone, he didn't have a choice.
Lyth hesitated, then shook her head. "You and your kind. Humans too. Hold your souls in such high regard, like it makes you better than everyone else. It doesn't. Humans can do terrible things without their souls too."
Jade had said something like that to him once. His heart clenched painfully.
Lyth continued, "Souls don't make you good, automatically. They're consciences, that's it. A measure of morality, not a get out of jail free card. They can be ignored. I can ignore it."
"Not forever," Spike said, hoarse. "Not hers. She's got a sodding heart of gold, that one. It'll annoy you to death, I promise. You can't ignore Jade forever. She'll fight you, and you'll give up eventually."
"I'll take that bet," Lyth said, sounding unworried.
"She'll creep into your every thought. She'll be in the dreams you have at night. Every good thing. You'll want to help sodding old ladies across the street. You'll want to put a coin in the cup of a 'omeless man. You'll see a sodding cat and want to pet it, 'cause she loves those damn things. She will be every good impulse that you ever, bloody have. She'll be your whole light. But it's not all good n' daisies, because she'll be wanting. She'll make you look at every article that pertains to Slayers and Vampires, 'cause she'll be worried. She'll make you want to help. An' you'll see me. Down every street. 'Cause I'll keep looking for you, an' she'll be looking for me too. Every long black coat, each hint of white blonde hair, you'll think it's me. You'll know I'll be hunting you, an' at first, you'll be frightened of the big bad on your tail. You'll keep running, and I'll keep finding. But eventually. You'll get sloppy. You'll slow down. Make a mistake. Y'think it's an accident, but it'll be her. Tryin' to get back to me. An' I'll be there." He slapped his hands together, a loud clap.
Lyth flinched, looking flabbergasted.
"I'll be there to get her back. She belongs in her body. Not as a sideshow to your sodding life. She belongs with me, an' you can be damn sure that wherever you go, I'll be following. For the rest. Of. Your. Life. You Mok'Tagars might live damn long lives, but so do I. I'll get her back. But you can spare her the sodding waiting of it all. Before she punishes you for it. Before she makes you slip. Because she will. An' you won't be able to tell who wants what. If it's her. Or you. You fancy yourself Queen of your own destiny, running from your mom n' pops, but it won't be a you. It'll be a we. And then it'll be a her. You know you feel it already. Never had a soul, had you? This one has no less baggage than the rest. It'll eat you alive and turn you bloody bonkers. You can't handle it. Can't handle Jade. So give her. Back. To. Me."
Those unnatural eyes stared into his. For the first time since he'd met the bloody bird, she seemed speechless. Spike dared to hope. And then Lyth was releasing Xander, pushing the sod towards Angel, who caught the man easily, tensing forward for the chase. And Lyth was just standing there, her fingers propped to her jugular. Where Jade's soul lingered. "She's not yours anymore. There's no popping it back in and making it all better. If you want Jade," Lyth raised up her chin defiantly. "There's only one thing you can do. Find her. Love her as she is, without her soul. Or kill her. That's the only thing you can do now." Her gaze held Spike's, cool, sympathetic, anxious and uncertain all at once. Hesitating, unsure. Her gaze flickered over to Xander then, a brief, almost longing look.
And then she was gone. Poof.
"No!" Spike yowled, rushing the spot where she had been. Nothing. Not so much of a lock of hair. She was gone faster than a snap of the fingers. "No. Bloody, sodding. No. Please." He'd been so close. So close. He had to be. He'd broken her down, made her hesitate, double bloody guess herself. He'd wear her down. It wasn't over. It couldn't be over. What she suggested wasn't the only option less. It wasn't. He could still get Jade back, as she was supposed to be.
"Spike," Xander said, his dark eye pitying as he looked at the vampire. Spike swung back at him, his chest heaving up and down like he'd run a marathon. Like he needed to breathe, but he'd done neither. "I'm sorry."
"S'not over." Spike mumbled, running his hand through his mess of curls.
"We tried," Angel pointed out. "There's not much more we can do now. We can—"
"Of course there's more we can do!" Spike argued. "There's all we can sodding do. Clarity gave us the next locations? So we try again. And again, and again. I don't care how many times it takes. She'll break. Or I'll make her break." He ran his tongue over his blunt teeth so hard that it still drew blood anyway. He clamped down hard on the iron tang, hoping it would calm him somehow. It didn't. A vicious, desperate growl in his throat, he swung his hand, punching the wall. He left a small, knuckle-shaped dent, and his hand stung, but it wasn't enough. Didn't calm the rage in him. He'd failed. Again.
Xander and Angel exchanged a glance.
"I don't sodding care. What you have to say," Spike said in a cold, clipped tone. "If you wan'na help me, then stay out o' my bloody way. If y'want to leave, then good, bloody on you. Leave. I don't care. I'm getting that soul."
And he turned down the hallway, next place visibly branded in his mind. Clarity had given them three precise locations. Two more chances. He could do it, alone or bloody not. He would do it. As long as it took.
They came with him. He didn't expect it. The loyalty wasn't to him, of course. He'd done so bloody little in his life to inspire something like that. Xander's tenacity was likely due to him wanting to appease little Miss Nibblet while he could, and Angel, well, the sod always had something up his sleeve. Spike cared less than normal. The next stop was Denver. They'd driven the car as high as Xander would dare—which was never fast enough, nearly on fumes each time they went to fill up. The cooler in the back seat emptied of blood all too quickly, and Harris only had meals on the go. Spike was barely willing to give the sod that. So desperate he was to make it, just make it in time. It'd been a day, and then two days since he'd left Jade.
They'd reached Denver, the hotel that Clarity had promised, only to find that Lyth had moved on an hour earlier. Spike had picked up the lobby's couch and thrown it at the vending machines, destruction that was not nearly satisfying enough. Angel had forced the white-haired vampire out of the hotel while Harris finished up and apologized for the mess. Then they were on their way to Kansas City next. Last chance. It was dark again, and Spike was driving, Xander sitting up front while Angel snoozed in the back, the hulking vampire demanding the most space. Still. Spike was surprised so far that the most his Grandsire had shoved him around was after he'd made that spectacle in the hotel lobby.
He'd been surprisingly lenient. His patience was obviously near the end of its tether, but the fact that Peaches had any for him was a shock. There had to be some ulterior motive. Didn't ever 'spect that help from Angel. Angel loathed him with a passion, even when they were allies. And they weren't ever friends, even if they were solid battle partners. Gets to be that way after they spend a couple decades together. Still. Peaches had detested Spike intruding on his little Wolfram & Hart gig, hated that he was there, that he was a sodding reminder of Buffy's dalliance. But that wasn't the case now. Spike'd removed himself from the competition. And there was no time for regret. He was just focused. Find Lyth. Get Jade. If this time didn't work out…
Well he'd drive back to Haven and get three more locations from Clarity. Ten. Or he'd hire some demon to help find her for him. Lovoth demons were a dog-like breed. Good at picking up scents if they were within the same city. Just wave some meat in front of him—and a scent, and they were good to go. Although they mainly just liked children—not specifically human, young animals worked too—so Spike'd have to work something out.
But he would. Whatever it would take.
Harris teetered off a half-snore, blinking his eye out at the road, checking rapidly to make sure Spike hadn't driven them in a demon dimension in his nearly-crazed obsession to find Jade, and then calmed down, his heartrate settling somewhat. That was something Spike hadn't been used to, having a heart beat that close to him, in the atmosphere of a car where there was little else to detract from it. Jade's had been silent all through their roadtrip, being already dead at the time. Xander's was a frantic thing, all fast and loud.
"We almost there?" Xander asked, swallowing a yawn.
Spike tightened his fingers 'round the wheel. "No."
"Right," Xander looked contrite, reaching into the bag at his feet and pulling out a few granola bars. He chomped noisily, 'least it seemed that way in the silence. "You know, we're not all gouda."
"What?" Spike shot a confused look at the man.
Xander swallowed a particularly large chunk. "Good. You and me. You hurt Buffy back there, and that's a no go."
Spike scoffed, his eyes back on the road. "She can handle it," He said, bitter. "Sure it won't shatter her stars none."
"Now that's stupid," Harris protested. "She cares for you. A lot, and you just—"
"What. Threw it in her face in front o' everyone? Like she hasn't done the same to me. She can handle it, Harris. Ain't no heartbroken cheerleader. She kept me along 'cause it's easiest. She doesn't have to work for it, or think she was going to get burned. I was a safe bloody bet, an' that's all."
"I'm not going to pretend that I ever understood Buffy's feelings for you," Xander said. "Or liked it, for that matter. Or you, at all."
"This going somewhere?" Spike asked curtly, sucking in a breath of smoke from his cigarette as he lit it, one hand on the wheel. He didn't much care for Xander's holier than bloody him speech, 'specially since he knew this song n' dance already.
"Yeah, it's going somewhere." Xander's head bobbed a little up and down, brushing his wavy hair back from his forehead. "I think it's because I never thought you were good enough for Buffy. How could you be? All the things you did. Kidnapping me and Willow. Killing lots, lots of people. Guess it clouded my head a little. And I don't think I'll ever like you. But Dawn's helped open my eyes. And I guess I can understand you. I forgave Anya, so I guess I could get why someone would forgive you. Even Buffy. But I can't pretend I'm not relieved you've moved on, really. Jade seems really… well. She's nice. She's kind. And I'm sorry for what's happened to her."
The cigarette on his lips trembled, but Spike steeled his jaw. "Don't need your sympathy."
"I know. Look, I'm not saying we'll ever be friends. But I'm just saying. Jade's the one for you, good, I'm all for that. We'll fix it, somehow. Fixed worse things, haven't we? I mean, how many times has that guy gotten his soul stuck back in him?" He pointed at the still, sleeping figure of Angel. "And good, because it means you've moved on. But you can move on and just not… stick it in the face of Buffy."
"I wasn't," Spike growled. "She had her soldiers all in a knit. Readying the pitchforks 'cause Jade's not one of hers? To spite me—"
"That's where you're wrong," Xander interrupted. "See, you're too close to it. She wasn't trying to hurt you. She's sacrificing one to save everyone. She's the chosen one, and she's had to make that decision so many times. Don't mistake resolve for it being easy on her. She's doing what she has to do. She has a lot of lives to look out for, and she does. She cares for every single one of them."
"So what?" Spike mumbled through his smoke. "Jus' supposed to sit back and let her kill Jade 'cause it's the right thing to do, because Harris, I promise you right now, that will never, bloody, happen."
"No. What I'm saying is, she talks tough. But she'll try to find a way. She always does. Just… give her the benefit of the doubt, okay? And when the time comes, if it's between Jade and Buffy…" Xander trailed off.
"You're worried I'll betray Buffy to protect Jade." Spike supplied. Harris and his protective instincts. Couldn't ever get Buffy as a lover, so he'd settled as the big brother instead. Or brother-in-law ish. Either way, he'd always stick up for Buffy, lest she was really in the wrong, an' as much as it should irk him, Spike could understand that, at least. He had his one view, and he wasn't letting any others in. He knew, knew the position Buffy was in, but he took it personal. Anything involving Jade was personal to him.
"Wouldn't you?" Xander asked.
Spike was silent for a while. Bloody hell, choosing between them as lovers was a hell of a lot different than choosing who he'd save. And he couldn't answer it. "Don't rightly know," He said after a long quiet. "It won't come to that."
"I hope not," Xander said in an equally hushed voice.
"So we won't ever be pals, then, Harris?" Spike asked, amused. Trying to drive away from the seriousness of it all. He could think of it plenty on his own. Didn't need a deep heart-to-heart.
"Not a chance," Xander said vehemently, without missing a beat. Spike's lips twitched into a smirk.
"Bloody right."
"We won't ever be roommates again, either, you can bet on that."
"No sodding way," Spike agreed.
"Spike, we should head back," Angel said, not for the first time since they'd let Lyth slip through their fingers. Sun was up and Xander was driving, which meant he was stuffed back into the back with the Poof again. Spike toyed with the half-empty jar in his hands. Not too much left now.
"Sod off," Spike replied, his classic retort. He was running out of excuses, but he could see from the seriousness in Angel's expression that it wasn't going to be that easy this time.
"Stop the car," Angel ordered. Xander hesitated, then complied, pulling them off into the side. Angered, Spike rose up from his seat to be crushed back down with Angel's heavy hand, pinning him back down. "We're going to have to do this a little differently now, Spike." Angel said, almost apologetic, but Spike wasn't seeing it, growling in response.
"You gits can head back then. Stick out a thumb and 'hope you don't fry."
"Come on, Spike." Xander turned around and looked at him. "You owe us a bit more than that."
"I don't owe you anything!" Spike protested, furious. "I don't owe you a bloody thing 'til this over."
"It is over." Angel's voice was deadly calm. "We've made it to Kansas City. She wasn't there. We're out of the locations that Clarity gave us."
"So we go get more," Spike said stubbornly. At the clenching of Angel's jaw, he reconsidered. "I get more. You sods head back, then, if you're all done."
"It'll be over a day's drive to get back to San Francisco. We should start back now," Angel said. "Together. You going out on your own will only get you killed."
"An' you care about that, do you?"
"Spike," Xander jumped in, all too ready to double team. "We can't let you out of our sight, do you see that? Jade's out there, a Slaypire, without a soul. She'll kill anything she can get her hands on."
"You watch your mouth," Spike warned, in a growl.
"She has no soul. She's not predictable. Except for you. You heard what Lyth said. Even without a soul, you might have a chance to talk her down. But if you're not there, then Buffy's going to do what she has to do."
"Xander's right," Angel murmured. "There's no telling how she's reacted until we see her, but there is a connection with you. That'll affect her, one way or another."
Spike pushed up against the hand holding him, but Angel held firm, his patience giving way to irritation.
"Think, Spike!" Angel growled. "I know this part better than you."
"Don't you bloody dare compare her to you," Spike snarled. "She's not going all Jade-us."
"You don't know that," The hulking vampire answered. "We need to get back. In case something happens. We should be there, with the others."
"'M fine on my bloody own!" Spike snapped back.
"Are you? Then why let us come along? You need help, Spike. Jade's too much to handle on your own."
He bared his human teeth, angry, but it didn't hold nearly as much intimidation as if he vamped out. He knew it wouldn't help him break free from Angel, who could vamp out in turn just as easily.
"We'll go back. Regroup." Xander said.
"If I don't…" Spike licked his bottom lip, letting his shoulders slam back into the cushion as he stopped pushing against Angel's arm. "If I don't bring 'er soul back, then what if I can't stop 'em from killing her?" His anger had turned into desperation, making him sound the ponce, but he couldn't help himself.
"We'll find a way, Spike." Xander promised. "Trust Buffy."
Spike growled again at that, but had no solid reply. He knew they were right. Running out here all over the bloody country wasn't helping him none. And Jade, she wouldn't be looking for Lyth, she'd be looking for him. Running after her soul would get him further away from where she was likely to look. After she healed, he knew where she'd go first. The Slayer base in San Francisco. She'd look there first. And they'd be ready. Least they would try to be. And if Spike let the others… Buffy, still, get hurt while he was over here… and if he let Jade slip through his fingers while he was on a sodding wild goose chase…
But he couldn't let Lyth get away with the soul. Maybe all he needed was a few more chances. If he turned back now, he'd never bloody know. Never be able to fix it all. Jade'd be condemned to the rest of her unlife without a soul… and if she ever did get it back, the memories would be so overwhelming…
Bloody hell. He massaged his forehead with his hand. He didn't know what to do, what to choose. Either way, he felt he was turning his back on her. Choosing between the chance of the souled version, or what she was without it. He'd been the one to tell her not to be so afraid of it. That it wasn't a two sides of the coin deal. That it didn't mean she'd been mad, world-ending evil. But his only other experience with a Slaypire had left him with the impression of crazy. Vampire and Slayer mixed together, that was one hell of a bloody unstable mixture.
Love her as she is, the Mok'Tagar bitch had said with her captive soul. Or kill her. He couldn't kill her. He didn't know all he felt for her, but there was love. Loyalty, and sodding trust, and he didn't have the heart to end that. Couldn't watch her ashes coat him, bloody hell. He'd lost so much. He'd hurt so much, and took a bloody wallop in return, and Jade couldn't be just one of the things he couldn't hold on to.
And he couldn't abandon her. Soul or no soul.
"Choose, Spike." Angel urged. "Stop running around here with no idea of where you're going. Go back. Don't run from her." For the illusion of choice, the hulking vampire lifted his arm, leaving Spike free. Though he knew it wasn't that simple, it was all laid out all easy-like for him.
He wasn't running from her. But he was. He was afraid, sodding terrified of what he'd caused.
"Alright." Spike relented. Felt like a punch to his chest, his barely healed chest. "Sodding. Bloody. Hell." He muttered under his breath. "We'll leave the bloody bitch for now. But I haven't given up," he promised, raising his blazing blue eyes to Angel's contemplative ones.
"It's the right thing to do, Spike." Angel said, nodding to Xander, who started the car back up. Angel searched through his jacket, dialing a few buttons and holding it to his ear.
"Buffy," Angel spoke. Spike felt that familiar twinge of jealousy. Hadn't left him yet, even though it stirred with a bare proportion of what it used to. Spike could hear Buffy's answering words but barely listened to them, disheartened by the U-turn Xander was pulling. Heading back the way they came. Disappointment curled like a stone in his stomach, making him feel sick. Felt like he'd given up.
He wasn't getting her soul back now. Wouldn't be the sodding champion coming back in time with the sparkling stone in his fingers. No. He had no sodding ace in his sleeve. Nothing to keep Jade from slaughtering them all or getting slaughtered herself.
"We're heading back now. About a day and some away."
"It might not be the best of ideas," Buffy answered, startling both Spike and Angel.
"What?" Angel demanded. "You asked me to—"
"I know," Buffy said. It sounded like she was taking a shaky breath. "It's just. We've been tracking her. They weren't sure, but they are now. She's been heading to San Francisco. She is heading to San Francisco. There might not be… You might not make it in time. She'll get here first."