19
She was solid. And she was short, at least she felt like it, with the sky so wide and open, although there wasn't anything to measure herself with. Her feet landed on something solid, even if the floor looked like clouds, she didn't slip through them. It took Jade a few seconds to realise that once she started moving that it wasn't her moving at all. She could hear her breaths so near to her that she ascertained they were coming from her own mouth. Or, not exactly her own mouth. She was looking up at the world like she was a child because she was one. She was seeing the world as Sophie saw it.
The breaths were coming more rapidly now, matched with the fleet beating of her heart. She was scared, and she was lost.
You're alright, Jade tried to say, but she didn't have her own mouth. She was like a presence, or a ghost, she had no manifestation of her own.
"Jade?" Sophie's voice came in a tremble, loud among the world that never ended. "Is that you?"
It's me, Jade answered back, without words, wondering if Sophie could hear her. I'm with you. Sophie gulped, still trembling with trepidation, but her breathing eased and her heart didn't beat so fast.
"I don't see Willow." Sophie tried very hard to keep her voice steady, but Jade could see and feel the tears well up in the child's eyes.
It's okay. Might not be an immediate thing. And Jade realised she hadn't asked the right questions, or enough of them, and she was lost. Where exactly were they supposed to go from here? Try calling her?
"Willow!" Sophie shouted in immediate obedience. She wrapped her pudgy arms around her. She was wearing a yellow dress that had darker red flowers on it, and her blonde hair was done up in a braid; Jade could feel it draping down one shoulder. "Willow! Mommy!"
Her feet wouldn't stay still, so she walked among the clouds, in this realm of nothing but shades of gray, looking like they were walking through a fog. Sophie's eyes had fallen at her feet for the first couple of steps, terrified she'd slip through the non-solid floor, but they were still upright, so Sophie scanned their surroundings. It seemed at the same time that they could barely see their hands in front of them and also far, far into the abyss and beyond, the sky, like there were no boundaries.
"Mommy!" Sophie called again, and Jade felt sympathy grip her, for the little orphan who'd found a home again. And now that home was missing.
It's okay, Soph. She'd heard Sophie's raggedy breath. Felt it, rather. The beginnings of a sob.
"I don't think she's here. I don' think no-one's here." Sophie brushed her arm past her face to wipe away her tears, sniffling into her arm.
We'll keep looking. And she felt Sophie's answering nod, as the scared little girl did her very best to keep herself together, and kept walking. It might not have been an actual physical manifestation of Sophie, but it felt like it. She was projected as a real, living girl that had a heart beat and breath.
There was a cold chill then, and Jade could swear that the mass of gray around them had somehow gotten darker. Sophie shivered. "I don't know where to go."
It might have been her imagination, but one corner seemed darker than the rest. It seemed awful, to steer such a young child towards it, but nothing else stuck out at all.
See those shadows over there?
Sophie had started sniffling again, but her keen eyes noticed it quickly enough. She dipped her head. "Yeah."
Head towards that. And Sophie did, carrying them closer, and it did seem like the shadow grew the nearer they got to it.
Jade had so many questions, so much uncertainty. She doubted that going towards shadows was ever a good thing, or that they were even a realm that could reach Willow. Maybe she wasn't here. Or close, and they were going into danger. Or going into nothingness. She didn't have a damned clue.
I hate magic, Jade thought irritably.
"I like it," Sophie answered back. "Willow's been teaching me. She sez I'll be good at auras. Like Tara."
Jade didn't have a face with which to smile. Instead, she spoke back to Sophie, this time on purpose. Yes, you will. And she'd do it with Willow's help, once they found the red-headed witch.
They'd reached the dark corner. Instead of clouds, the fluffy curves turned to edges, and the more they stared into the darkness, the more they saw it take an image. No longer clouds, it looked like a forest. A forest in the dark.
Sophie's lower lip trembled.
We don't have to go in here. It might just be the wrong way. They'd found something new, but if it frightened Sophie, then it could be damned. They'd find something else.
But Sophie shook her head. "No. It feels right. An' scary. But… I think dis is the way." And if the little girl was determined, Jade wouldn't argue. She was here to help her. Whatever she needed. Jade was a guardian, at least to one little girl, at least in this moment.
And she didn't even have a body. She was just thoughts.
Twigs snapped and crackled under Sophie's feet. Jade realised for the first time that they were bare. This was the image that Sophie had chosen for herself to appear in, after all, which was more suited for frolicking through meadows than creeping through a dark forest.
"Is dis where Willow went?" Sophie asked, her voice sounding loud in the silence.
I have no clue, Jade answered honestly. I'm not really sure where we are, kiddo. If Sophie hadn't said otherwise, Jade would have doubted that they were anywhere near where Willow lingered.
There was a crack, and it wasn't from Sophie's feet stepping on a twig, from somewhere behind them. Sophie whirled and gasped. "Willow?" She asked, her voice trembling with trepidation. "Mommy, are you there?"
Their answer came in the sounding of a low, feral growl, and a shadow moved.
"What was that?" Sophie asked, her voice barely higher than a squeak.
Jade didn't have an answer for her, but she sure wasn't going to ask Sophie to stand there so she could find out.
I don't know. Run!
With a gasp, Sophie did just that, turning and fleeing as fast as her little legs could carry her. The growl increased in anger, and it followed them, chasing after Sophie. And Sophie, she was trying, the small child that she was, until her foot caught a branch and she fell to the ground, a mess of curls, leaves and tears.
Up, up!Jade tried to urge her, and Sophie tried, but she only had time to scramble to her feet before the shadow fell upon them. It had taken the form of a wolf, though not like any Jade had ever seen. It was black, and its fur jutted out more like spikes, and it was larger with a tail that whipped like a cat's. It was within pouncing distance, but hadn't yet jumped. Eyes glowed like rubies, and its long fangs were slavering with saliva. Looking upon its prey.
And Jade had no body, nothing. Sophie cried out, a desperate scream that pealed through the trees. "WILLOW!" She begged, and Jade half-expected the red-haired witch to come out of the trees in a blaze of glory.
The wolf growled, but Jade could almost swear that the corner of its mouth was tilted up in a malevolent smile. Sophie took a step back, and then another, but the roots of a tree pressed into her calves, and she could go no further. Jade didn't expect the wolf would have let them go even if Sophie had managed to scramble away. It was much, much faster, but its gaze rested on them as if it were toying with them. And it was. With each sob and plead that left Sophie's face, it seemed all the more pleased.
"Willow! Mommy!" Sophie shrieked with as much fervor as she could manage. Still nothing. No gallant rescue, nothing seemed to be in the forest except them and this wolf, not even a bird.
But was it a forest. This was some sort of dream land. It was supposed to be connected to where Willow was, but how did they know? And could they… could they die in here? Could Sophie die in here? Would it damage her… astral self, her real spirit, or would they just wake up and try again?
She'd meant what she said. She hated magic. It was so confusing and obscure. Penelope had first introduced it to her, and taught Jade to really fear magic's potential, but she sure as hell hadn't taught Jade much about countering it, understanding it.
The creature snapped its jaw and tensed its body, and as a predator herself, Jade could sense that it was about to lunge. Sophie realised it too, curling one small hand to her chest. "Help, help," She cried, out to Willow, wherever the hell she was.
"Help, Jade, save me."
She was saying it to Jade, not Willow. Of course. Sophie had fancied Jade some sort of protector, a savior, even if now, Jade couldn't have felt further from the truth. Yeah, a savior who managed to burn down an Orphanage and destroy a Slayer's sanctuary. And that wasn't even mentioning all those she had killed. And that needed to be mentioned. She should never have done this. Sophie saw her as a guardian, but she was wrong. Jade was the shadow that hunted in the dark, she'd been more vicious and more fearsome than the beast before them.
And she still could be. She was an anchor. What did that mean? This was a dreamland, after all. She might not have had her own body, but she was an impression. Thoughts, or something. She was aware of it, which meant she could change something, couldn't she? She was here.
Sophie needed protecting, so she would damn well do it.
I'm here. You're not alone, Sophie. I'll protect you.
And an answering growl burst, nearly from Sophie's throat, sounding more like a lion than a wolf, and Jade could feel Sophie's features change, her teeth protrude, growing longer and fang like, her forehead stiffening, and suddenly the forest seemed so much brighter than before, so clear, and she roared back at the creature with fury. The beast paused, its ears twitching.
Holy shit, she'd influenced Sophie's dream self, projecting her own vampire qualities onto Sophie. It was seriously messed up that she'd given Sophie the countenance of a vampire, this five year old girl, but it was Jade. It was the protection she could give. This was a dream world, after all, not real life.
The wolf had halted, afraid, as Sophie growled up at it with all the intimidation her little self could muster. Jade was proud, but—
Step away from her you bloody git
She has vamp face on, Spike, what do you expect me to do
Get that sodding thing away from her
You have to be quiet, or you'll break the
Voices were flooding her, like fragments, and whispers, crashing towards her like water on rock. What was happening? She remembered then, that she wasn't in the depths of it like Sophie was, that she was half in the real world and half in the realm, a connecting bridge, but something was happening in the real world, and she was trying to figure it out when a whimper burst from Sophie's throat.
Her teeth had gone back to normal, small and crooked, and the ridges had disappeared. No longer diffident, the wolf began its growling anew, and jumped off of the small incline the roots of the tree had given it, and down onto the leave covered ground with Sophie. Ready to snap.
"Don' leave me, Jade," Sophie begged.
I bloody swear, you use that and I'll snap your neck
She could attack Sophie. Kill her
You don't know that
Shut up, both of you. If we sever the connection now, we could lose the girl as well
"Jade?" Sophie whimpered, and Jade was still trying to hear it, to catch the whispers all around her. But her curiosity was putting Sophie in danger. She tried to remember what Billy had said. She had to concentrate. On Sophie, not on the world. Whatever was happening, she couldn't focus on it right now.
I'm here. Focus. Vampire.
Sophie screamed.
The wolf leapt.
Protect you.
Fangs descending, forehead hardening. Eyes that must have glowed like gold. You're strong and you're fast. Just like me. Sophie raised her hands to defend herself, but one long leg of the wolf reached past her stubby arms, striking a shoulder and bearing her to the ground. Sophie screamed, a frantic sound. STRONG, Sophie. You can fight this.
Her fingers had wrapped around the wolf, not fur, but an almost metallic coldness instead. It was rough against the palm of her hands, but she gripped as tight as she could. And the wolf, snapping teeth near her, whimpered in surprise pain.
Push it off. Fling it. You're strong. So strong, Soph. Sophie grit her jaw together, and with a grunt, managed to get her legs under the beast, lifting up and kicking with as much might as she could manage. All the might of a vampire. She pushed, and the wolf lifted, thrown backwards into the air.
Sophie sat up. "Oh Goddess," she breathed, no doubt a epithet she'd learned from Willow. The wolf had fallen, badly. It got up then, covering its whimpers with a growl, red eyes gleaming back at Sophie. Sophie's heart beat almost like a hummingbird's, but she raised her fists all the same, a picture of courage.
The creature snarled again, but its fighting spirit was spent. Wary now, and tail down, between its legs and no longer snapping furiously, the wolf took one step, and then another, back, back, back until they couldn't see even its outline.
Sophie sobbed, a mixture of relief and fright. Feeling safer now, Jade let her influence fade, letting the vampire disappear from Sophie, just now a human girl. A very scared, very brave human girl.
We're alright now. You did it.
Sophie rubbed at her eyes. She was so young and this had been a great burden on her shoulders. Even if it had been just the simple errand of entering this nether realm so that Willow could find her, too much had been asked of the poor girl already.
We should try to wake up, Jade said, with the realisation that she didn't really know how exactly to do that, yet another question she should have definitely asked of Billy. Do you know how?
But Sophie was nodding. "Yeah." She sniffled and rose to her feet, wiping off the bracken and leaves that had attached themselves to her pretty yellow dress. "But we haven't found mommy yet."
Sophie, it's dangerous. I don't think Willow's even here.
Sophie slapped some loose pieces of hair away from her forehead. "She's here. We find her."
Then I am with you, Jade said, resigned. It was most likely a bad idea to continue, but to put Sophie through all this just to turn around empty handed was a crushing thought. But I don't know where we should go.
"She's here." Sophie repeated. "Jus' hafta look." She stepped out of the roots the wolf had trapped her in, feet pressing into the ground. She spun around once, but enough to make Jade dizzy, until she pointed her nose in one direction and nodded. "Dis way."
They seemed to walk for quite a while, and though there wasn't anything that popped out in Jade's eyes, Sophie seemed determined that she could sense Willow. And that might have been true, or it was simply a coincidence when Sophie tripped. Tripped over something hard and metal and made in a forest of nothing, and she looked down to see a trap door, surrounded by roots and layered in leaves.
"Down here," Sophie said, scrambling for the round handle.
I was hoping you weren't going to say that, Jade admitted. How ominous it looked, a trap door in a dark forest. There was an answering grunt from Sophie as she applied her little strength to it, and it came up easily enough, so that Jade didn't even have to apply her vamp-side, and they were looking down into the foreboding hole.
At least it wasn't an abyss. They could see the floor from where they peered in. Gold reflected up at them.
Jade didn't even get a chance to warn Sophie to be careful, the girl had already climbed over the edge, her arms shaking as she held herself up, letting herself hang there before letting go. There was a smack as she hit the ground, and a breath wheezed out of Sophie, heavy, but the girl didn't seem hurt, just winded, and so she picked herself up off the floor and looked up. The trapdoor was gone, along with any traces of the forest. Instead, they were in some sort of temple, it looked like, with gold plated tiles and torches on the walls. It reminded Jade of some mixture between Aztecs, or something she might find in a Indiana Jones movie. The mist was back, so even though the halls themselves seemed endless, they couldn't see down there very far.
"Willow!" Sophie called out, with increasing excitement and hope. At least she seemed animated by this change, whereas Jade still wasn't convinced they'd been going in the right direction. Or any direction at all. But Sophie moved forward, carried by her own determination, and it wasn't like Jade had any choice but to follow.
It was a maze, and she'd never been very good with mazes; her memory left something to be desired. If they were going in the same direction, she wouldn't know. She was tempted to ask Sophie to mark where they'd gone, but thought against it. What would they use to mark the walls. Blood? If Jade had her own body, that was one thing, but she wouldn't be using Sophie's for that, even if it was a dream world. And besides, since when did magic make sense. They could make the ways, and the corridors could still twist anyway they like. No, she'd just have to trust the little one. If she believed she could sense Willow, then Jade would have to believe it too.
Sophie dragged her fingers along the wall, feeling the bumps and engravings in the gold. Every once in a while, she would call out Willow's name, but most of the time she seemed convinced she was heading in the right direction.
And then the hallway ended, and there was nothing before them but a wall. Jade felt Sophie's eyebrows knot up with confusion, and she took her fingers and touched them to the wall, like she couldn't believe there was no door. Jade heard Sophie's breath go uneven again, the beginnings of another sob.
We might have taken a wrong turn, Jade tried to tell her, although she'd long been thinking it was hopeless, she wasn't going to tell Sophie that. This might have been a pipe dream, but Sophie hadn't thought so, and who was she to crush the girl's hopes. Still. It was a dead end, but that didn't mean they had to give up. It just meant they had to start all over. We could go back, try again.
"No," Sophie whispered. She was tired now, her knees knocking about unsteadily, and she slumped to them, onto the cold metal floor, and perhaps they shouldn't be feeling the cold without a real body, but they did. It was the world they were in, the realm, the plane of existence. It was real. Seemed real. "This is the way."
Okay. Jade said. She'd believed Sophie for this long, it wasn't the time to abandon her. It's dream, remember? Maybe we can get through.
Sophie nodded rapidly. She reached up, touching the palms of her hand to the gold wall, pushing against the large tiles. "Open," She said, too soft to be thought of as demanding, more like asking a favor from it. "Please?"
Sophie sucked in a breath. She seemed to be trying very hard to concentrate. She closed her eyes and whispered, "Apertus." If Jade had breath, she would have held it herself in anticipation. She knew Sophie had had magical potential in her blood—it had been why she'd been kidnapped with the others at the Orphanage all those months ago, with Rachel, Lisa, Neva and Gunner.
Jade felt a stab of pain. Neva had been the first to die. She'd always had a smile on her face, wide and bright, and her dark eyes had been so friendly and flush with a zeal for life. And Jade hadn't been able to save her. And Rachel. Rachel had been similar to Neva. Despite what she'd been through, it hadn't seemed to traumatize her much at all, at least not in the way that it dampered her brightness and energy. And Rachel was gone now too. Pathetically, Jade couldn't remember if Gunner had been among those that had died—been killed. By her. All she knew was that Lisa had survived, and it had filled her with such anger then, and such sweet relief now. At least one of them had made it. And Sophie, who'd been taken in by Willow out of love for Tara, and it was hard not to love Sophie for who she was. So young, yet already exceptional in her poise and wisdom. And she'd had a knack for the magical arts, and of course Willow had been all too willing to teach her adopted daughter more magics, to share Willow's love of the arcane. Something that Kennedy probably wasn't happy with, but it was more and more obvious that Sophie was Willow's. Kennedy took shared guardianship of the child because she had to, but she wouldn't have on her own.
If something happened to Willow, it was doubtful Kennedy would want the child on her own. But nothing could happen to Willow, she had to be alright, because Sophie had lost enough and been through far too much in such a short lifespan, and she deserved to love and be loved by the caring witch.
So it didn't shock or bother Jade that one so young had started learning magic, she only wished that it would work. A small light, a flash of white swirled around Sophie's fingertips, reaching out to the gold, but once it touched the wall, it dissipated and was gone, and nothing seemed to come of it, even as Sophie stood there waiting as patiently as she could, hoping.
There was nothing. It didn't open.
"Willow." Sophie slapped her open palm against the gold tiles this time. She sounded more like a child then, who nagged constantly for attention, waiting for her mother to turn her sight on her and pay attention to whatever was so important to the child.
But this wasn't a show of narcissism or a wanting to be noticed. This was a little girl trying to find her daughter in a maze of minds and thoughts.
Sophie was beginning to be demoralized again.
Try again. Jade urged her. Keep speaking to it, maybe. How ridiculous, encouraging a child to speak to a wall, but Sophie's feet didn't seem to want to carry her away. If they stayed here, then they'd keep trying.
Sophie placed her fingers on the gold wall. "I wanna see my mommy, please." The small wisps of light leaked from her fingers again, seeping into the cracks.
Nothing. Again, which wasn't very—
There was a creak. Then a grinding, a grating of moving slabs, and Sophie, startled, climbed back up onto her feet as the walls swung apart, creating another doorway to step through. And Sophie did, with as much diligence as she had shown to first climb down the trapdoor, even if this transition was a bit less unnerving.
This time, it opened into a library. There was a light coming from somewhere, even if she couldn't see the roof. Ornate bookcases, filled to the brim and more with books surrounded them, and Sophie tripped on a stack of these tomes that had spilled onto the floor, so full the room was. And they stepped through, and it seemed like a maze again, because there were rows and rows and rows of books, but the room itself seemed to be built like a circle, and they had come from the edge, but they were making their way to the middle.
Sophie gasped as they finally rounded the last bookcase. There, a huge table in the middle, like a round table from Arthur's tales, and many opened volumes were there, their pages visible to the sky. But that hadn't been what had caught Sophie's eye. There, sitting at one of the chairs of the table, pouring over the multitude of books, was Willow.
"Willow!" Sophie cried out, and Jade was with her as she ran over to the red-haired woman, her arms wide and open, a joyful smile on her face as tears ran down her pudgy cheeks. Willow had been in the middle of turning a page, a dazed look on her face, when her eyes gravitated towards Sophie, and her mouth opened, eyes wide and surprised.
"Sophie?" A shocked smile found its way onto Willow's lips as she gathered the girl into her arms. "Oh, what are you doing here?"
"Came to…find you… mommy," Sophie admitted between happy sobs.
I'm here too. Jade said, not quite sure if Willow could hear her, but the way the witch startled in surprise and then said aloud, "Jade?" was all the answer she needed.
"Willow," Sophie said, up on her adoptive mother's lap, or sort of, since it was all still in the astral realm. Jade supposed it wasn't real touch, but it felt like it. "I missed you so much."
Willow pulled the girl tighter into her arms and stroked her hair. "I missed you too."
Willow. We thought something had gone wrong. They've been trying to get you back for… Was it weeks? Days? Jade didn't know. Time was still a bit wonky with her. She'd forgotten three days and then gotten them back, out of sequence, and it was still hard to tell the order of things. A while now.
Willow nodded, letting go of Sophie enough so that the child could look up at the red haired witch. "Yes… I-I, I've been busy, I guess."
Jade would have frowned, had she a face. It wasn't the answer she was expecting from Willow. Especially since they hadn't encountered anything dangerous or malevolent seeming since the wolf in the forest. They really've needed you back there. Sophie too. Yeah, Willow had been needed while Jade was running around without a soul, but as she was sure everyone couldn't wait to inform Willow that once they got her back, she wasn't going to explain it now.
Sophie nodded her agreement. "Really, really missed you. Missed floating petals together and playing games."
Willow looked guilty, but at the same time, torn. Her eyes flitted back to the table, where open tomes awaited. "I know. I know. I've just been busy." She sighed. "I had my lesson with Aluwyn, working on my magic. But she told me about something. Something bad coming."
What is it? Jade asked, intrigued as well as concerned.
"I don't know!" Willow exclaimed. "That's what I've been trying to find out. The, the knowledge doesn't exist in our world. It can only be found here. In the nether realms. The… non-physical planes. It can only be stopped by what I find here. But I haven't found anything. I've looked and travelled, and read, but I haven't found anything yet."
So this… bad, it's coming to our world? Or isn't?
"It's coming," Willow let out a heavy exhale. Her expression was somber, but changed to one of gentle affection when she looked at Sophie again, tucking a loose blonde curl behind her ear. "And I don't know when, or what, or like, anything." Her shoulders rose and fell in exasperation. "That's what I've been trying to find out. What it is, and how to stop it."
You don't have to do it alone, Jade pointed out. More people will go faster than—
"No that's just it. Once I go back, leave this realm, I'll just forget. I won't remember what I was looking for, or anything that I've found. None of us will. And, that would just mean that when it does come, we won't be prepared!" Willow's voice rose in pitch and helplessness. "We won't have any idea what to do."
Well what have you found out so far?
The edge of Willow's mouth twitched into a discouraged grimace. "It's just called the Darkness. It's so obscure… there's nothing that I've found in any of these books that talks about it. I've looked up English texts, Latin, heck, even Sumerian." She shrugged. "Absu, or Etutu in Sumerian."
What does that mean?
"Just more words for darkness." Willow's shoulders fell again, and she gripped at Sophie, concern rife in her expression.
"I have to figure it out," Willow insisted. "I know—I know I haven't found much yet, but I will. And then, maybe, I can stop it here." She looked hopeful, eager almost in her hope for the best option. "And the world won't even have to know. I'd skip out on a plaque and stuff if it meant I could just beat this."
"Gotta come home," Sophie said, as serious as a little girl could. She slipped her smaller hand into Willow's larger one as the witch looked at her with empathy and uncertainty.
She's right. You haven't found anything yet, and it's been a while, Willow. You're needed here. In the real world. Whatever happens, we'll fight it together.
Willow's eyes looked mournful. "But… we won't even know it's coming. We won't even know I was trying to find anything on it. We won't know anything. It'll just poof. Be there one day, and I won't know how to stop it."
Together, Jade said again, a promise. But you're needed, now. Not for something we don't even know when it'll get here.
Willow looked sadly at her adopted daughter. "I just… wanted to keep you safe."
Sophie blinked at her, giving her a smile that was no doubt as sweet as sugar, and as warm as the sun. "You will."
Come on, Willow. Jade said, as encouraging as she could. Time to wake up.
Willow sighed, glancing once more yearningly at the books she'd piled around her. Looking again for the piece of the puzzle. Then she nodded, gripping Sophie's fingers, a light beginning to swirl around them. "Yeah. I guess it is."