Zootopia 2 Sequel to the Movie Chapter 2
AN: This episode brought to you by the letter "Insanity". Time for Round 2 of using every meme and trope, supplied by writers and readers like you, and trying to create a semblance of a story out of it. If you see something you recognize, then YAY! My work here will have been done.
AAN: So, it would appear that some folks are taking this story seriously. To that I say, please don't. This story is meant as pure, 100% sarcasm and satire, to poke fun at all of the memes, tropes, and everything else we find in our stories. You might notice some parts that line up a bit with stories you've read.
That's intentional, as that is what makes this a satire. You'll also, however, find that I've heavily mocked myself and my own stories in here, and quite frequently at that as if it is written in here, I have probably written it and that's how I know about it.
So please, don't take offense at this, as it is meant as pure satire with a healthy dash of snark and sarcasm. If anything, leave a really sarcastic review that matches the story with its snark. :D
One beautiful day in Zootopia, a place where only mammals live, but not apes or dogs since those don't exist. Or people to that's a good thing. Nick a red fox with red fur and emerald eyes was meeting up with Judy a grey rabbit with amethyst eyes, who were the best of best friends in the city of Zootopia. They decided to visit her parents as they had a day off work together.
"I think you need to meet my parents," Judy said.
"Really, isn't that something only mammals in relationships do?" Nick asked in a platonic way.
"Then I guess we are dating now then," Judy exclaimed while giggling like a young kit, as that is what Nick reduced her to even though she is a grown bunny.
"I like that idea," Nick replied, giggling as well. "That is the cutest idea ever!"
Judy's face suddenly transformed as she grew fangs, her face turned red and flames shot out around her. "DON'T EVER CALL ME CUTE!" She screamed cutely.
Nick cowered before her. "Ok my best bunny girlfriend.
"Ok!" Judy chirped happily as the flames died down around her. "Let's take the next train over then!" So the two walked back to their apartments. Nick lived across town in the Rainforest District, while Judy lived over in Savannah Central. Within two minutes they both made it the thirty minute journey to their apartments to pack, and then met up again after only ten minutes had gone by.
"Wow, we both packed quick," Nick replied. "It's like we were prepared for this or something. Do you think we should tell Bogo?"
"Oh, I completely forgot about our jobs!" Judy said, forgetting about her childhood dream since she was a child and had childlike ambition. It had been her dream since childhood to become a cop and suddenly she was sad to have forgotten her childhood dream childishly. Judy called up Bogo. "Chief, Nick and I are going to take a week off to visit my parents, okay?"
The gruff voice of Bogo sounded over the small phone as he snorted, as that is what buffalo do. "Even though that isn't how leave works around here, I'll allow it since you two are my best officers. Plus I'm spending some time with Clawhauser tonight so I'd be a hypocrite to say no."
"Alright, thanks Chief." Judy hung up the phone, smiling at Nick. "Let's go to Bunnyburrow cutey!"
"Yay!" Nick yelped, as that is how foxes say things. "I'm the cute one!"
Together they hopped on the train paw in paw, getting angry looks by speciest animals while hopping on the train until Nick growled at them all while they made out while travelling out of the city and the speciest mammals left the train compartment though even though there were some that didn't leave, which was making Judy sad to see all the other mammals who didn't like them so her and Nick decided to go up to the viewing area at the top of the train, and not one located on the bottom of the train since that would be dumb to have on a train and as they reached the top level they both stared in wonder at the sights, except for each was looking in each other's eyes instead of their surroundings as they only had eyes for each other as they declared their love to each other with their gazes in the top section of the train.
"So, how long until we get there Carrots?" Nick asked.
"Oh, about three hours."
"Ah, ok," he replied.
"Arriving at Bunnyburrow in two minutes," the onboard speaker system sounded.
"Wow, that was fast," Nick said. "We only had enough conversation to last ten seconds and we're they already. How did that happen?"
Both fox and rabbit looked up at the reader reading this and shrugged before walking off the train.
All 275 of Judy's brothers and sisters were waiting for them on the platform as they got off as none of them had jobs to attend or kits to watch. "JUDY" they all cried at once while jumping up for joy at not having seen the police bunny in weeks. They all jumped up and down together, causing an earthquake on the other side of the planet which killed a group of sloths crossing a river as their boat sank due to the earthquake.
"Wow, I didn't know you had this many siblings." Nick said as Judy's siblings attacked him, knocking him over as they fluffled him, where he broke his leg due to plot reasons as he hit the ground. Several of Judy's sister came over as they were nurses and fixed it for him.
"Ah, good as new," Nick said, walking on it minutes after it broke. "Now, what was your question Judy?"
"How many do you have, Nick?" Judy asked with a cheerful voice.
Nick nearly broke down and cried. "I'm an only child since my parents broke up when I was born. My dad Robin Hood Wilde became a vigilante leader while Mom tried to take care of me. I've been orphaned since then, but was adopted by some rich mammals who were then killed by a secretive organization after training me to be their heir. I've been living alone ever since like a broke fox, even though I made over a million dollars in tax free income but don't have it for unexplained reasons."
"That sounds like a very tragic backstory," Judy sobbed, her tears creating a river of tears that tore through Bunnyburrow and drowned several mice.
It was a tragic day.
"It is tragic, as all fox's backstories must be," Nick wept, sending a second flood of tears flooding Bunnyburrow.
"And then you left me!" an angry looking vixen yelled from across the platform.
"Mom?" Nick yelped, as that is what foxes do when surprised. Sounds kind of like a yip, but a bit deeper. Judy Zoogled it one day to find out what the difference was as she was interesting in seeing the difference between fox and rabbit culture. She stopped when she decided to type in her name for fun and found some sites talking about rule 34. She cried herself to sleep that night while dreaming of Nick, which helped silence her tears as even thinking of him did that for her.
Anyways...
"How did you know I was here?" Nick yelped again.
"This is the chapter you two meet her parents, so that means you'll meet me next chapter. I just decided to show up and get the next chapter where you'd meet me over and done with early."
"Makes sense," Judy replied.
"And you must be Judy's parents," the older vixen replied, completely forgetting about her son who she hadn't seen in 20 years. "My name is Vivian Marian Hood Wilde and I'm Nick's mother."
"Ah, you raised a good boy even though we haven't met him yet," Bonnie replied, getting along instantly with the older vixen, as that is what you call a female fox.
"Oh, Nick and I are dating now too," Judy chirped, not like a bird, but just as in like a happy sound.
"YOU'RE WHAT?" Several of Judy's siblings stated.
"But I wanted to date him even though I just met him," Judy's sister Jessica said.
Judy grew rather angry as steam came out her ears. "Why you little jerk!" Judy attacked Jessica, while Nick grabbed some offered popcorn from one of Judy's brothers.
"Can I date you too?" the brother asked. Nick gulped in fear, since there isn't another way to gulp. Suddenly, a ball of grey fluff tackled the brother, causing a break in dimensions in which Judy kicked her brother into before shutting it after him, but not before a human could take his place and fell onto the platform. The human fled using his magic super human powers and went off to Zootopia where he tried to blend in.
Ha, fat chance of that working! He was arrested and thrown in jail with two rhino's who he now calls Daddy 1 and 2.
Anyways...
"Nobody dates my fox but me!" Judy angrily said with anger as her nurse sisters went to fix up Jessica, who Judy had ripped the ears off of, even though Judy doesn't really show any anger, but suddenly now does due to plot purposes.
"Aww, thanks for defending me," Nick replied. He ran towards Judy, but took an arrow to his knee from a ram from behind a tree. "Ow!" Nick yelped again. Judy pulled out a tranquilizer gun out of nowhere and shot the ram, causing him to fall out of his tree he was hiding in. To everyone's surprise, a zipper appeared and a wolf crawled out of the ram costume. So Judy darted him to, but it wasn't a tranq dart, but a night howler dart!
"Oh no!" everyone collectively gasped as the wolf went savage. Nick picked up Judy and threw her at the wolf, making the rabbit go over 9000 mph. Her foot caught fire as it connected with the wolf, causing him to disintegrate into a million pieces.
"You just killed someone," everyone gasped, holding their paws over their mouths. "As well as sent brother into another dimension."
Judy and Nick were surprised by everyone being able to think and say the same thing everyone else was saying.
"Eh, I'm a main character, I can get away with anything," Judy replied with a shrug.
"Oh, ok," everyone replied, before all of Judy's siblings that never grew up glomped onto Nick again, again breaking his other leg.
This time Nick went to the hospital, but was cleared to leave after a few minutes.
"Wow, that took forever that time," Nick stated as a rhino bumped into him, knocking him down a flight of stairs.
The doctor walking around at the bottom of the stairs looked at the fox, whose legs and arms were twisted at unnatural angles.
"Oh, I'd say take some tylenol and sleep that off, you'll be fine."
"I hate doctors," Nick replied, but got up and brushed his clothes of as Judy hopped towards him, as that is what bunnies do.
"Glad you're ok Slick," Judy said, lightly punching his arm. Nick was blasting into a nearby wall, falling unconscious.
He was out for several days, gaining amnesia from the attack and able to eat nothing but pudding cups in his bed. While he was out, he had dreams of sailing ships, marrying Judy, or flying fighter planes across the sky. They were wonderful dreams since they had Judy in them, which made them wonderfully wonderful. Also one where he was a slick action fox and Judy was a lawyer with a tazer. They were good dreams he thought.
A week later he recovered his memories in a flash montage of thoughts when Judy accidentally kissed him. He fell backwards, passing out from the love he felt through her bodacious bunny lips.
Nick awoke later that day in Judy's bed. "How did I get here?" he asked, staring at all the ZPD posters that covered all the walls. He noticed that even the wallpaper was ZPD logos.
Judy materialized next to him, snuggling up into his chest. "So warm," she cooed adorably.
"Aw, I love you too," Nick replied. "Even if we haven't had any real bonding time this entire story. In response, Judy started rubbing her chin vigorously over Nick until she rubbed most of his fur off. "Now everyone knows I love you since I chinned you, which is something I learned our ancestors did thousands of years ago and thought would be good to add here.
"Works for me," Nick replied, marking her in return, as that is the fox equivalent of what bunnies do.
Suddenly, the wall to her room blew inwards and several mammals strolled in.
"Aha! There he is!" Cried a zebra. "The one we bullied all those years ago! Let's go bother him again!"
"Oh no!" Nick cried, as he cried big foxy tears, again flooding Bunnyburrow. "My past is coming back to haunt me."
Judy froze in an un-Judy like fashion as she watched Nick's old bullies take him away while threatening him and mocking him.
"I have to find him!" she cried a second later, but found that they had vanished with HER Nick. Not some other fox named Nick, but HER Nick. Her ears perked up as she heard them in Zootopia 211 miles away, as all of Bunnyburrow was exactly that distance away from Zootopia.
"I have to help him!" So Judy ran to Zootopia in record time, following Nick's sobs and cries of pain the entire way as she could hear them with her super hearing powers that only she possessed as a bunny.
She arrived at a tailor shop where she heard evil laughter inside. Not the fun kind, but the kind that villains with nefarious looking mustaches make. She kicked in the door, not caring about destruction of property and found Nick being bothered by his childhood bullies.
"Bother, bother, bother, bother!" shouted the four bullies.
"You can't do that to Nick!" she screamed! Suddenly and with great suddenness, Judy knocked out each bully with a single kick. One of the bullies managed to kick Nick, breaking his arm.
"Not again with being injured! I'm going to go through all of that tax free hustling money on hospital bills at this rate!" the fox yelled. Judy pulled a first aid kit from her belt, as she was suddenly wearing her police uniform again, as was Nick, and healed his broken arm.
"I thought I lost you," Judy wept, weeping into Nick's arms after untying him.
They stared into each other's eyes passionately with passionate passion.
"I hate you," Judy said, causing Nick to burst into tears. "But I love to hate you so it must mean I love you."
"I love you too," Nick replied, sniffling through his big foxy tears. "I knew since I first smelled you coming into Zootopia that I loved you."
"Creepy, but hot," Judy replied. "Wait, when was that?"
"I could smell you when you got off the train that first day while I was in Tundratown making Pawpsicles."
"Wow, that's a good nose! I didn't know foxes could smell that well."
"We can't," Nick shrugged. "The writer just wrote me that way."
"Makes sense," Judy shrugged while shrugging. "It's like how I found you that second day when I booted your stroller by listening to you talking to Finnick while I was still in the station."
"Wow, Fluff. That's impressive Carrots. I didn't know you could do that Fluffbutt. And why do I call you Fluffbutt, Whiskers?"
"Maybe because you like my fluffy butt?" she seductively stated with seductive amethyst eyes focused on seductive emerald ones. It was all it took.
They were all over each other like wolves, kissing and marking one-
"Hey, I'm right here," Wolford scowled, looking at the computer screen on which the narrator was typing.
"Oh, sorry," replied the writer. "The phrase just popped out, like rabbits."
"I heard that!" Judy yelled, poking her face out of Nick's chest fur before diving back in, smelling his musky scent muskily.
"Sorry again..." the narrator replied. I'll just rewind this.
(Imagine the above dialogue being erased and that you never read it...)
Judy and Nick looked at each other. "I guess we've turned back time." Nick stated.
"I guess we found a way," Judy replied.
"I take back all the words that have hurt you, Carrots," Nick said.
"But you haven't said anything," Judy cried. "And I wanted you to say I love you."
"I love you," Nick said. Judy looked up from her crying eyes, as that is what eyes that are sad do, but then burst into angry tears of sadness when she saw Nick on his knees proposing to another vixen that had randomly shown up and was the first time either officer had seen her.
She's so pretty, unlike me...Judy thought thoughtfully, as now her thoughts were crying as well as her body, creating a lake in her mind that she wanted to dive into and drown in because Nick as in love with the vixen he just met.
"Oh, I love you too," the other vixen stated, giggling gigglishly as Nick's tail wagged, as that is what tails do when they are happy. She had bright red fur that matched perfectly with Nick's and bright amethyst eyes that Nick suddenly thought he loved better than Judy's, because Judy was a rabbit, and rabbits and foxes couldn't love each other as that is biologically impossible he thought sadly with sadness.
Judy watched sadly in sadness as the two kissed, watching as butterflies and rainbows suddenly appeared around them in the air.
"Want to go to a concert for Guns and Rodents? Then get some cricket spaghetti after?" she asked.
"How did you know they were my favorite band and meal?" asked Nick.
"Because they are my favorite too!" the vixen, who Nick still hadn't asked the name of yipped excitedly, as that is what fox's do. They also go, wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pw, but only when they are really happy.
"I knew those were your favorite Nick," Judy interjected, trying to smile but feeling horrible inside.
"Shut up your horrible little carrot muncher!" Nick replied in an uncharacteristic manner as Judy had never seen him angry at her before . "I have a vixen I can love now," he stated, though inside felt his soul being crushed as he thought of the real reasons he couldn't love Judy, because of his horrible childhood, general hatred of foxes in the city and how he was a fox and she a rabbit.
Judy eyes exploded into more tears, breaking Nick's heart as the bunny hopped away, as that is what bunnies do. Nick fled from the vixen, following the smell of Judy's tears, as his sense of smell was just that good, and followed it to a warehouse where they made the night howler serum.
Plot purposes, duh...Nick thought as he entered the building through a door, as opposed to entering through a skylight, or bursting through the wall like an action hero. Instead he just did what any normal mammal would do and walked to the front door, twisted the handle, opened the door, looked inside, walked in, closed the door, released the handle, then looked for Judy with his awesome night vision that he also had as a fox.
"Judy must be inside this building, I can smell her," Nick surmised. He walked inside, only to find the door slam behind him, even though he had already shut it. The lights turned on, blinding him due to him only being able to see at night since foxes are nocturnal and without his sunglasses, he was blind as a bat!
"I heard that!" an angry vampire bat lord chirped.
"Sorry," replied the writer.
"Ah, my eyes that are accustomed to the light but hurt now so bad because I am nocturnal, even though I'm not!" Nick screamed in pain before fainting.
"Ahahahaahah, I have you now," Bellwether screamed.
"How are you alive? You exploded in the last chapter!" Nick whimpered, as that is what foxes do when they are sad. It sounded like a sad puppy, like that one who couldn't roll over in that Ewetube video, Nick thought.
"Now I have both you and Judy!" the crazy sheep crazily laughed. "Now it is time for me to monologue!"
"No! Not the monologue!" Judy cried from across the room.
"Yes, the villain's monologue!" Bellwether triumphantly said with triumph as her goons tied Nick up. Though the fox secretly dialed 911 and put his phone on silent so that Clawhauser could hear everything of the monologue.
Back at ZPD Precinct 1
"Hey guys, the villain is monologuing!" the fat cheetah yelled while eating a donut. Suddenly, dozens of officers were surrounding the dispatcher.
"Shouldn't we be helping them?" Fangmeyer the tiger stated.
"Nah, they can handle it," Fangmeyer the lion replied.
"I think we should help them," Fangmeyer the wolf said.
"Why are there so many Fangmeyer's?" Bogo asked. The tiger, lion and wolf shrugged. "Dunno," all three said at once.
"Quiet, I want to hear the monologue!" Clawhauser said, though Bogo was so angry that his anger was angry. He punched down a nearby wall, and ran through it, racing towards the warehouse.
How do I know where it is...Bogo thought. He shrugged and kept running.
(Back at the warehouse)
Bellwether tied both Nick and Judy together above a vat of nighthowler serum.
"Because I can't think of anything else to destroy you both with, I will use nighthowlers!" cackled the sheep with maniacal laughter.
"Don't you mean night howler, with a space in the middle?"
Bellwether blinked. "Curses! You have foiled my plans with good grammar and movie quotes! Now you'll just have to drown in the nighthowlers!"
Suddenly, and with abrupt suddenness, Bogo burst through a nearby wall, decked out with a black trench coat and black sunglasses. His uniform had changed to all black as he stared down Bellwether, who clicked her hooves and suddenly a hundred rams were around them.
"How do you pay all these henchmammals?" Bogo asked.
The rams looked at Bellwether, who shrugged. "I just do, so now attack my army of only sheep as I hate all other mammals!"
All 100 rams charged at Bogo, who brought two huge guns out of the holsters that were suddenly at his waist. The rams all drew on him and fired, filling the air with lead and bleating, as that is what sheep do.
Bogo expertly dodged all the bullets matrix style, shooting down the rams one by one, watching them poof into wool as his rounds caused them to explode.
He finally was surrounded by them, but hit the ground with his hoof, causing a shockwave to vaporize the rest of them.
It was at this point that Nick looked at Judy as they were about to be lowered into the vat of nighthowler.
"I'm sorry Fluff, I thought we couldn't love each other but I love you."
"I love you too." she hiccupped. She leaned in and they kissed, filling the room with happiness. Even Bellwether was affected.
"Awww...I can't hate you guys when you're like that." She pressed a button, which moved them away from over the vat of nighthowler.
"Yay!" They both cried, hugging each other as Bogo arrested Bellwether. "That's the power of friendship!"
"That's my line!" A yellow colored horse yelled from across the warehouse, just as thousands of cops showed up to help.
"Let it go!" all the cops sang, causing the pony's head to implode.
Nick and Judy thanked Bogo, then left paw in paw into the sunset.
"Wow, that was all in one day," Nick stated.
"Yeah, amazing how fast we can get everything finished in, huh."
Nick nodded, then kissed his bunny.
His bunny...he thought.
My fox...Judy thought, before they both made out again.
MY bunny...Nick thought louder.
MY FOX!...Judy mentally screamed at Nick.
Suddenly, a giant bat swooped down and stabbed Judy in the chest.
"Oh no! Judy!" Nick yelped as that is what foxes do. Judy looked down at the gaping hole in her chest and frowned.
"Mr Bat, I'm going to have to arrest you now," the rabbit said, before grabbing the giant bat and tossing him to the ground.
"No!" the vampire bat wailed as he was cuffed.
"Shouldn't you get that checked out?" Nick asked his bunny.
"Nah, I'm fine," Judy replied. "I've had worse."
"You lie!" shouted the bat.
"Come on ya pansy!" Judy yelled back.
"Have at ye!" the bat taunted. "The black bat always triumphs!"
"Wrong movie guys," Nick said, crossing his arms as Judy hung her shoulders and took off her knight costume. "Great reference though."
"Sorry Nick," Judy replied, sniffling as she walked towards him.
"Ah come here. You bunnies, so emotional."
The knife magically disappeared as they hugged, with Nick's tears healing her wound like that part in Tangled where that happened.
The two hugged as the sun set and butterflies danced in the field they were in, as well as lots of moths and other nocturnal creatures like that.
Together, the two walked home and eloped at the nearest chapel. Then went home and proceeded to do what all newlywed couples do.
They went to bed and slept. The end.
"Finally that guy stopped narrating our lives," Judy stated.
"Nope, look like he is at it again," Nick sighed before looking at the author. "Hey buddy, we're trying to sleep, so stop with narrating our lives ok?"
"Ok."
"Thank you."
The end
Nick and Judy: "SHUT UP!"
AN: So, there you go. I loaded this thing up with as many tropes, cliches, memes, and references to stories (including my own), and mocked them all. If I have forgotten any, I'l just add them to the next chapter if I write it. Which for the sake of my sanity, I hope I don't...