Based on events during Episode 2 of GoT Season 8
(Also includes flashback from Episode 4 of GoT Season 4)
~ Present Day ~
Brienne's mind was swirling. She felt warm and dizzy inside as she kept throwing surreptitious glances in Jaime's direction, still stunned over what he had done a mere half hour ago. The great hall had become silent once again following the celebratory aftermath of Brienne's knighthood. Everyone felt suddenly exhausted at the thought of what they would soon be facing in a matter of hours, or possibly even minutes.
Jaime looked around and met Brienne's gaze. Her eyes looked tired, but still managed to wear a tender expression.
He put down his goblet. 'We'd better get some rest,' he said heavily.
'No, let's stay a bit longer,' Tyrion protested.
'We're out of wine,' Davos said, returning to his seat.
Tyrion sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't want this charming little group of theirs to part ways. He just wanted them all to remain here, glowing from the wine and the beautiful historical moment of Brienne becoming the first female knight in all of Westeros. If they stayed here together, they could pretend everything was fine. If they stayed here together, they could pretend death wasn't at their door tonight.
'How about a song?' Tyrion suggested, and Jaime tore his eyes away from Brienne and sighed exasperatedly at his brother. 'One of you must know one. Ser Davos?'
'You'll pray for a quick death,' Davos replied, and Tyrion chuckled.
'Ser Brienne?' Tyrin asked, raising his eyebrows hopefully at Brienne.
Brienne couldn't help smiling as she slowly shook her head. Ser Brienne. It was so bizarre to be called that. And so heart-warming as well.
Her smile faded slightly when she saw that Tyrion had turned his attention to Tormund. She exchanged a horrified look with Jaime, but then were both overcome with relief when Tormund shook his head with a firm grunt.
'Mmm…' Tyrion grumbled, disappointed, and he leaned back in his chair.
And then, out of nowhere, Podrick began to sing.
'High in the halls of the kings who are gone
Jenny would dance with her ghosts,
The ones she had lost and the ones she had found
And the ones who had loved her the most…'
Brienne's expression softened as she watched Pod, full of affection and warmth him. She had heard him sing before, but only when he'd thought no one had been able to hear. His voice was so comforting, the song so haunting and yet so appropriate for this dark night that awaited them. She looked slightly to the side to find that Jaime's eyes were already on her.
It was such a wonder for Jaime to realise that he was in love with this woman. His thoughts drifted as Podrick continued to sing, burning with curiosity; how long had he felt this way about Brienne? Why hadn't he wanted her before? Why had he denied it for so very long? And why only now was he no longer afraid to hide it, when they would soon be forced to leave this room and venture out into the unknown to face their ultimate end on the battlefield?
'The ones who'd been gone for so very long
She couldn't remember their names,
They spun her around on the damp old stones
Spun away all her sorrow and pain,
And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave…'
Brienne never wanted to leave. But she knew she must. For Sansa, and her late mother. And for Jaime.
The past hour had gone by in something of a blur, ever since the moment she had joined Jaime in the Lord Commander's quarters and been given her quest. Now here she stood on the outskirts of the city walking towards their agreed meeting place with what little remained of her belongings, and a new mission to start.
A part of her wanted dearly to stay here beside him in King's Landing. Brienne wasn't an idiot; she knew that, in the aftermath of Joffrey's brutal murder, this city was probably the most dangerous place to be in all of Westeros right now. But she also knew that this meant Jaime would be caught up in it – after all, it was his monstrous family that was at the centre of all this – and he wouldn't be safe. Brienne wasn't sure what she feared being in danger more – his life or his newly-recovered sense of morality. If she left him here with these manipulative people, would they turn him back into the arrogant, uncaring, rude man she had first met?
Something told her, as she strode across the bridge to meet him in her new suit of armour and carrying her new sword, that perhaps not.
Jaime was waiting for her in a clearing under a vast canopy of trees, with two horses and two men she recognised vaguely from the city; she had seen them a couple of times following Tyrion Lannister around the Red Keep. Of course, they no longer had their little lord to traipse after now that he was locked up in a cell. A wide path lay ahead of them – the road out of King's Landing. The road that she would soon be on, taking her far away from this frightful place. Away from Jaime. Brienne suppressed a swallow at the thought.
She dumped her belongings down on the dusty ground and looked up at Jaime. He looked proud as he surveyed the armour she wore.
'It…it fits perfectly,' Brienne said, perplexed. 'How…did you know the right measurements?'
Jaime shrugged airily. 'Lucky guess.'
Brienne's expression faltered momentarily as she felt herself begin to blush. He must have paid a lot more attention to her in that bath a few months ago than she'd previously thought.
'I requested for a…well, some blue colouring in the armour as well, as a symbol of Tarth,' Jaime said, stunning Brienne even more. 'I hope that's all right.'
He'd also requested the blue so that it would complement those astonishing eyes of hers, but he couldn't say that to her. He could barely even admit it to himself.
'It's…wonderful, Ser Jaime,' Brienne replied, slightly dazed. 'But it must have cost you a great deal, I'm not sure when…or if I'll ever be able to repay-'
'You owe me nothing. It's a gift,' Jaime insisted, his tone firm. 'It's the very least I could do.'
The very least? It took a great deal of effort on Brienne's part not to frown in utter bewilderment at him. He had practically given her couture, when she'd hardly done anything in return, at least not much that she could be overly proud of – the golden hand fixed onto his right wrist was a constant reminder of that. She didn't seem to realise that Jaime was thanking her in the only way he knew how, not just for her bravery and companionship and for bringing him back to his home, but also for how she had brought out a side in him that he had thought long lost. Over their time together, Brienne had made him feel like he could be somewhat good again. And that was something no amount of gifts or gold would ever be able to repay.
He noticed Brienne then look over his shoulder curiously to survey the two horses that were stood waiting.
'Oh, yes. There's the horse as well – this one's yours,' Jaime said casually, indicating the horse on the right.
Brienne's eyebrows shot up her forehead. This was too much.
'How many gifts do you normally give?' she asked him, flummoxed.
'Well…this is the final one,' Jaime replied, trying not to appear too flustered, and he stepped to the side to hold his hand out impressively to the incredibly young, innocent-looking man stood smiling cheerfully beside him. 'Meet Podrick Payne. Your very own squire.'
Brienne was baffled. Only knights had squires.
She walked closer towards them both as she looked the young man up and down. 'I don't need a squire,' she said dismissively.
Jaime turned to Podrick in mock offence; Podrick's smile disappeared at once. 'Of course you do,' Jaime said reprovingly, his tone cheerful as he turned back to Brienne.
'He'll slow me down,' Brienne replied.
'My brother owes him a debt – he's not safe here,' Jaime explained in a slightly lowered voice. 'You'll be keeping him from harm. It's chivalry.'
Brienne frowned at Jaime; since when had he cared about the welfare of random squires? Who was this man?
'I won't slow you down, ser,' Podrick interjected.
Both Jaime and Brienne tilted their heads at him. Really?
Podrick looked anxiously at Jaime, then turned back to Brienne. 'M-my lady,' he corrected himself unsurely, and Brienne turned, unimpressed, to Jaime. 'I promise I'll serve you well.'
'See?' Jaime said to Brienne hopefully, raising his eyebrows at her. 'He's a good lad. You'll get along.'
He was trying to keep the mood light-hearted, to save him from the realisation that he was saying goodbye to this woman, possibly for forever. But Brienne didn't seem to want to reciprocate his jolly mood. She looked away from him reluctantly, resigned to the fact that she had no choice in the matter of this squire. Yes, she was sure once she had got used to her new travelling companion she would be fine. They would probably end up getting along, eventually. But still. He wasn't Jaime.
She tried not to dwell on this as Jaime's other companion, Bronn, gifted Podrick with Lord Tyrion's axe from the Blackwater. Soon enough, Podrick had gathered up Brienne's belongings that she had dropped on the ground and went over to ready her horse.
Jaime slowly walked over to Brienne, closing the distance between them. Both of them suddenly felt rather emotional, although it shocked them that they would feel so strongly. His expression unusually warm, Jaime opened his mouth and then closed it again, not knowing what to say, and simply came to a halt and let himself take a moment to drink in the sight of her. He was resigned to letting his guard down now. This was it. No more teasing.
He had become accustomed to having Brienne of Tarth in his life. He had enjoyed her presence here in King's Landing, as much as he hated himself for thinking it. She had made the transition into this new phase of his life a little less painful. She had been his support throughout it all since they had arrived here at the city gates, just as he had been hers. And now it was all going to fade away, just like that. This time tomorrow, she would be miles away, never to return. It would be the end of a chapter in his life; a chapter that he found himself cherishing deeply. He hoped he was doing the right thing…but they both knew that what he was doing was bordering on treason. He was defying his family completely by sending Brienne to find and protect Sansa, who Cersei wanted dead, with the Valyrian steel sword his father had given him. Nevertheless, despite his sister's grief and his father's wishes, he was doing it anyway. To fulfil his oath, and to protect Brienne. She needed to be far away from the dangers of his family…even if it meant he would never see her again.
Standing there before one another with nothing left to say but farewell, both Jaime and Brienne felt their mouths go dry. Something had changed between them. They couldn't explain it, nor could they deny it. They had a deep emotional connection, something that Jaime and Cersei had never had. He would miss that terribly. He would miss her terribly.
Jaime glanced down at the sword he had given her. 'They say the best swords have names. Any ideas?' he asked.
Brienne glanced down at her sword as well, deep in thought, then after a few moments looked back at him. The scars he had acquired during their captivity in the Riverlands looked more prominent with the sun shining on his face. But still, he was exquisitely handsome. She might never see that face again after today.
'Oathkeeper,' Brienne replied.
Jaime's lips parted slightly as he gazed back into her eyes, too stunned for words. He felt a strange surge of relief; she knew he was constantly referred to as an oathbreaker, but by the name she had chosen for her sword, she was absolving him and freeing him from his troubled past. She was showing him that he could be the true and just knight that he had always wanted to be. She was promising to redeem Jaime in his place, to keep both their oaths to Lady Catelyn. And it meant everything to him.
He lowered his eyes for a brief moment, too overcome with emotion, then once he had recovered himself he looked back up at her and nodded, trying to show his appreciation for her touching gesture. Jaime was surprised to see that there seemed to be tears forming in her eyes as she gazed back at him, and the features on her face softened. She looked almost as upset as he felt. A lump rose in his throat.
Jaime wanted to say thank you. He wanted to say that he had learned so much and changed so much because of her, that she would be with him now and always, no matter where she went. But all he could manage was:
'Goodbye, Brienne.'
Brienne pressed her lips together slightly as she tried desperately not to cry…although for once, she didn't really care if it made her look pathetic. This was a sad moment in her life, as much as it surprised her, and she would not pretend otherwise. Her chin wobbling slightly, she gave Jaime a quick nod and then averted her gaze. She knew if she said anything back to him, the tears would begin to fall and it would become even harder for her to leave, so she remained silent as she walked away from him towards Podrick and her new horse, her head bent low.
Jaime stayed staring at the ground for a moment, as if paralysed by the shock of how choked up both he and Brienne were by this. He'd always known that they would have parted ways eventually, but he'd never expected that it would be this…heartbreaking. But he knew, even though neither of them wanted to leave one another's company, that they could not stay with each other.
Swallowing, he slowly turned back and watched as Brienne climbed up awkwardly onto her horse. Frowning curiously, he walked forward as she and Podrick set off.
He had no expectation that Brienne would actually find Sansa. The girl was most likely dead by now, along with her younger sister Arya. But he needed to occupy Brienne with this quest, even if it was an impossible one, to keep her out of the brutal game of politics his family was entangled in. It was the only way he was able to protect her.
He felt emotionally broken as he watched her begin to ride away, and it slowly sunk in at that moment how a part of him wished he could go with her.
To Jaime's surprise, Brienne then turned around for one last look at him as her horse continued to trot on down the path that led out of King's Landing. Her face was turmoiled, her gaze desperately sad and full of regret. Jaime tilted his head at her as he watched, frowning slightly, as he began to see the feelings in her expression that she had been so desperately trying to conceal since the day of Joffrey's death. He was shaken by how truly upset she appeared by their separating; he had never once expected that the grumpy Brienne of Tarth he had first met would have been in any way troubled by their parting of the ways. Then again, he'd never thought he would have felt equally as miserable by it either.
Brienne turned her face away from him quickly, her bottom lip quivering as she continued to fight back the tears, and it was this that made Jaime realise just how much she cared. She didn't want to leave him. This revelation shook him deeply. His lips parted, dazed, as he watched Brienne and her squire ride off down the path into the sunset. Although he hated himself for it, Jaime couldn't help wondering if the emotions stirring inside him were more than just platonic affection and respect for the loss of his friend today. Was he experiencing…feelings? Romantic feelings? He wasn't sure.
But oh yes, he was. He couldn't lie to himself anymore. He was sure, even if he would never let himself address it or even process it in his mind. He did feel romantically for Brienne, as much as this prospect confused him. There was just nothing he could do about it.
His face filled with struggle and longing as he felt his heart fall to pieces at the sight of her leaving.
Bronn cursed loudly from behind, exasperated as Jaime continued to stare wordlessly into the distance, still intent on watching Brienne leave.
'Were you fucking her or somethin'?' Bronn blurted out abruptly.
More irritated than he was embarrassed, Jaime slowly turned around to face him, his expression cold. 'Have you forgotten who you're talking to?' he asked in a low voice, unimpressed.
'Nope,' Bronn replied airily, shrugging, and he grinned. 'Just don't care.'
He sauntered away then, realising Jaime wasn't in the mood to talk and needed to be left on his own for a moment.
Blinking rapidly and swallowing, Jaime turned back to watch Brienne depart, inexplicably hoping that she would look back to him again. But she didn't; it was too painful for her. Jaime sighed deeply. He knew that, even as the sight of her grew smaller as she rode further away, Brienne would never truly leave him. She would still be a part of everything he did. She would still be his inspiration. His moral compass. The voice of lightness in his head. After all, after everything they had been through together…how could she not be?
~ Present Day ~
'They danced through the day
And into the night through the snow that swept through the hall,
From winter to summer then winter again
'Til the walls did crumble and fall,
And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave,
And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave…'
A comfortable silence fell as Pod finished his song. The assembled group stopped gazing at the fire and turned to face him, strangely at peace.
'That was beautiful, Pod,' Brienne said gratefully to her beloved squire.
'Mm-hmm,' Jaime murmured in agreement, nodding and smiling fondly over at Pod.
'I never knew you could sing,' Tyrion said, stunned, and Pod smirked. 'You are always full of surprises, Podrick.'
After another pause, Davos then cleared his throat. 'We really should get some rest,' he suggested wearily.
Tyrion opened his mouth at once to protest, but this time he was outnumbered as everyone got up to their feet. He leant back against his chair miserably; Jaime hesitated to remain behind with him, feeling sorry for his brother, but with a sharp jerk of his head, Tyrion indicated to Jaime to follow Brienne, who was dawdling slightly as she slowly made her way out into the castle corridor. Nodding gratefully at Tyrion, Jaime strode after her.
He caught up with her quickly, but neither of them could find the words to say as they walked side-by-side down the dark, freezing corridors.
They were both still rather dazed by what had transpired between them in the great hall, Brienne especially so. Jaime had upset thousands of years of tradition for her, because he believed in her. Just the thought of the way he had looked at her when she'd risen to her feet still made Brienne's heart lurch forward. She had doubted for so very long that Jaime could ever return her affection. All her life she had been so intent on focusing solely on her service as an honourable warrior, and had never sought out something for herself that she couldn't have; instead she'd simply ached for it in silence, trying to convince herself that she hadn't really wanted it…because it was impossible for her to have it.
But becoming a knight had also been an impossible dream. Perhaps the notion of Jaime ever loving someone like her was not so impossible after all. He had brought her walls down today, she could feel it. He had made her hope. He had made her joyful. He had made her feel respected, a concept very rare to her. And yet now their time was nearly up…they would be facing unknown terrors outside these very walls very shortly.
They would most likely not survive beyond tonight. Now was the only opportunity they had to say anything they wanted to. Brienne so dearly wanted to open herself up to the possibilities of exploring this complex relationship with the handsome man walking tentatively beside her, but she was frightened. She couldn't risk what they already had. What if she'd got it wrong? Nevertheless, supressed feelings aside, at least she had the comforting fact that during this battle they could be finally acknowledged as a united front; they were no longer aiding one another in secret, but instead fighting on the same side. Together.
Jaime swallowed nervously as they walked on, the rattle of their armour echoing loudly along the corridors. 'How are you feeling?' he asked her.
'Tired but…ready to get on with it,' Brienne replied. 'You?'
'Same.'
She raised her eyebrows at him. 'You don't wish you were in King's Landing?'
'No. I'm right where I want to be.' His voice was low and gentle when he spoke.
Brienne looked at him, shaken by his tender tone, and felt her lips part at the way he was gazing at her. The two of them looked at each other for a moment that seemed to last much longer than a moment, before blinking rapidly and turning away.
'Thank you. For knighting me,' Brienne said in a gentle, sincere voice, though she was unable to look at him, and Jaime smiled at her. 'Truly, I…there are no words…-'
'It was the least I could do, after what you did for me earlier today,' he murmured.
Brienne frowned slightly. 'I have to ask…what you did back there…was that because of what I said at the trial?' she asked, reaching out her hand to touch his arm. 'Because I never expected you to…feel the need to…repay me in any way-'
'Oh, Brienne,' Jaime interrupted, bringing them both to a halt as he reached out for her arm as well.
Brienne swallowed, nervous by the way he spoke her name with a sense of almost familiar intimacy, by his casual touch, by the intensity of his gaze. Jaime sighed deeply and shook his head at her, as if exasperated. A small, fond smile fell on his lips.
'I didn't knight you because I felt like I owed you. I knighted you because you are the most deserving, honourable person I know,' Jaime said, making Brienne's heart soar, 'and because this has been your dream for as long as you can remember. You're an excellent warrior and…I don't know anyone more worthy of the title.'
The way she was looking at Jaime in such astonishment made his smile grow. She shone in his eyes. It was funny to think of how they had started out being so disgusted by one another, and yet had now turned into the most beloved person in each other's lives. Strangely though, Brienne was no longer ashamed by this fact; she didn't want to hide it anymore or pretend that he meant anything less to her than she truly did. After all, it was because of Jaime that she believed in herself for the first time.
Brienne averted her gaze from his, flustered. 'You're too kind.'
'There's something neither of us thought you'd say when we first met.'
She looked at him, saw the amusement on his face, as if he knew she'd been reading her train of thought, and a soft chuckle escaped both their mouths. It stunned Jaime; for months during their time together after leaving Harrenhal he had tried making her laugh to no prevail. To see Brienne like this now made him feel warm and full inside, and he knew he couldn't keep it to himself.
'You've never smiled like that before. Back in the hall,' Jaime noted, vividly recalling the heart-warming mental image of her beaming away moments after he'd knighted her.
Brienne hesitated. 'Well I've never been…that happy,' she murmured truthfully.
Happy. It was a strange word, one she didn't use often, and an even stranger concept.
'I can relate to that,' Jaime said, as they both continued to walk on down the corridor together. 'I haven't been truly happy in years.'
'Would you like to be?' Brienne asked, her voice tremoring slightly with nerves. 'Happy?'
'I would. It's all I've wanted for a long time now,' Jaime replied, stunning her, and he sighed heavily. 'But I don't expect I'll get a chance for that, with the battle…I'm rather doomed tonight, I'm afraid.'
Suddenly Brienne found herself deeply irritated, and she rounded on him. 'Well you are with that foolish attitude. Where's your pride? Your ego?' she snapped, and Jaime's eyes widened in bemusement. 'Tonight's the time you need to go back to the mindset of your golden-lion days. You're still a skilled warrior, even without your sword hand. So don't you dare give up now. Do you understand?'
'Yes, Commander,' Jaime said at once, impressed.
Brienne tilted her head almost threateningly at him. Jaime smiled at her, an almost cheeky glint in his gaze, before eyeing the beautiful hilt of her sword protruding from her armour. He took a step closer to Brienne.
'You know, I realised something earlier. You and I will be fighting with two halves of the same sword. Ned Stark's sword, in fact. Defending his castle together. It's very fitting, don't you think?' he said, almost flirtatiously.
'Yes, it is,' was all Brienne could say; she hadn't been expecting Jaime to close the distance between them like that.
'Oathkeeper has served you well.'
'You never once regretted giving it away to me?' Brienne asked, as they continued to walk on up the steps towards the bedchambers.
'Not once,' Jaime murmured, smiling at her. 'It was always meant to be yours.'
Brienne wasn't so sure about that. The sword had been originally his after all, and Jaime had more than proved that he was worthy of it. By keeping his word to the Starks and by fully acknowledging Brienne's honour and bravery, Jaime has finally become the honourable knight he'd been struggling to be his whole life.
'You never told me how you acquired the sword of Lord Stark,' Brienne said curiously. 'A Valyrian steel sword like this…there can only be ten of those at most in the world, I'd say…'
'My father had it forged for me,' Jaime replied simply, and he chuckled at the shocked look in Brienne's eyes. 'Relax. I didn't like my father in the end. I found it strangely satisfying to defy him. And you needed a good sword much more than I did.'
There was a stunned pause. Brienne had stopped walking; the door to her bedchamber stood just a few metres down the narrow corridor.
'Thank you, Ser Jaime.'
'You're welcome. Ser Brienne,' Jaime added, the corner of his lips twitching slightly as she blushed, humbled and pleased by the sound of her new title.
'Anyway, I should…go to my chamber…' Brienne then said awkwardly, gesturing her door.
To his utter mortification, Jaime felt his cheeks go red. 'Y-yes, of course. I won't keep you,' he said, backing away at once. 'I'll see you later…when…when they arrive.'
They nodded at each other and Jaime then turned and walked away back down the corridor to find Tyrion downstairs. No doubt he would still be in the great hall, staring into the fire.
Brienne watched as he walked away. She glanced unsurely to the door of her bedchamber then back to Jaime's retreating figure, her lower lip trembling slightly as she tried to breathe deeply. She spoke out before she'd even had time to consider what she was doing.
'Jaime.'
Jaime paused and turned back to face her. She had never addressed him without his title before. It made him smile. In fact, he realised in that moment that, despite their impending doom, he had smiled more upon his arrival at Winterfell this morning than he had in all those years he'd spent with Cersei at King's Landing since Brienne had returned him from Robb Stark's camp.
'Why did you come to Winterfell? Really?' Brienne asked, her voice loud and clear, and Jaime's smile faltered slightly. 'You…you still haven't said.'
There was a pause as the two of them simply gazed at each other from across the opposite sides of the corridor. Jaime swallowed nervously, but Brienne refused to look away. She needed to hear him say it. She needed to know for sure.
And then, at last, he spoke.
'You know why.'
Brienne felt herself release the breath she had been subconsciously holding in, and her trembling lips parted into what Jaime was sure was the formation of a half-smile. Jaime's irresistible, tender gaze was what gave her the courage to move her feet forwards, and then she was slowly walking towards him and then –
The three horn blasts.
Brienne halted in her tracks and she looked out of the castle window, horrified. It was the signal. She could see armour-clad men gathering their weapons below. Clutching Oathkeeper, she looked up at Jaime and met his gaze of terror.
The dead were here.