Dear Readers,
on to the next installment of our story.
Enjoy reading it as much as I shall enjoy writing it.
An awkward silence fell as she unknowingly repeated his own words to him. It meant something to him that she knew him - still - on a subconscious level. However, it was clear that this was not the woman he knew. It was undoubtedly the woman he loved because he loved her unconditionally. Always had and always would. In the long run of things, amnesia was a speedbump on their road. And he knew that, but a deep, inexplicable sadness seized hold of him, squeezing the air out of his lungs and making him weak in the knees.
There could be no guy hugs with this woman. No easy affection he could play off as casual, because she simply didn't get the social cues. He needed her, damn it. But he needed her in a capacity that frightened him because he didn't know how much she had left to give. Their history was gone. Sure, their intense partnership had left imprints of the love of friendship of trust, comfort, and familiarity in her being and he was humbled by that, but there were no building blocks. No touchstones.
The woman in front of him had never gazed upon a Christmas tree outside of a correctional facility. God, it had been so cold that day, but the twinkle in her eyes and the smile around her lips had all been worth it. This woman didn't remember standing in his arms, trembling with fear and frustration as she slowly lost grip of her own identity. How could she be Temperance, if she'd always been meant to be Joy?
He had always seen the raw potential in her, she was his diamond in the rough. He knew what kind of love and devotion she was capable of. She'd proven it time and time again as they worked their case files together. And over time, she'd thawed out enough around him to let him in and let him experience first hand just how big of a heart she possessed.
This was not the woman who had once bluntly asked for his sperm, to make a baby, but not a family. No, this was the woman who hadn't been traumatized by her parents, who hadn't frozen the world (and everyone in it ) out. This was Joy. It truly was. He could see the woman she would have been had she been allowed to grow up in peace and a loving environment.
And for one moment a hot streak of selfish jealousy pierced his heart. He could woo this woman all over again. And maybe this time he'd even have a fair chance. His selfish desires soon disappeared though. He could never ask her to be anything less than she was. Was she not exactly perfect? She was far from it actually, but then again, so was he.
The trauma's of her life had shaped and defined her. They had molded her into the fierce, strong protector and defender of justice she was. And he could never hope for her to be anything less than herself. She'd bled for her trauma's. She'd worked through them. She deserved to remember them. After all, they were just as much a part of her as Joy was.
Joy who was looking at him with a shy, but open, curious look in her eyes. And it was only then that he realized he'd been silent for a long good while. Sheepishly, he chuckled. "Sorry, I'm usually more talkative than this, I promise."
She nodded but didn't seem to mind. "I can only imagine the kind of day you've had, Booth. I'm sorry for all of the emotional distress I've caused. I didn't know..." Her voice died down and she looked away.
"No, Bones. No excuses. I don't blame you." His voice was calm, soothing and serious. He really didn't blame her. How could she have known? "You trusted the people who should have taken care of you." When she didn't look up, he stood and walked over to her, to sit next to her on the sofa. Without thinking twice about it, he gently tugged her into his embrace. "I don't blame you, Joy," he whispered softly.
"Promise?"
Her voice was soft and fragile and he rested his chin on top of her head as he gently rocked her back and forth. "Promise."
It's slow going, I'm aware, but the muse rules this kingdom!
Let me know what you thought, I love hearing it!
WHAK (with hugs and kisses)