AN: Just a reminder that I don't take anything from Season 2 as canon, including the explanation for the formation of the Syndicate. I have my own take on things :)

It was after eleven by the time Misaki arrived home that night. She was no stranger to late evenings, and the past couple of months had been particularly bad; eleven was practically early at this point. Still, tonight she found that she could hardly muster the energy to turn the key in the lock.

Her stomach was still sour from spending six hours in the formalin-saturated morgue. Saitou, always queasy around autopsies, hadn't been able to enter the room at all, so Misaki had sent him back the prison to collect the tapes from Suda. Kouno had lasted until the medical examiner made the first cut in the Y-incision before running, green in the face, from the room. Misaki had stood resolutely until Kurosaki and a second doctor that Navid had called in had finished with their gross observations and sample collections. She felt that she owed it her former superior, criminal though he was, to be there. But she was regretting it now.

Debating whether it was even worth it to undress before falling into bed, despite the scent of formaldehyde that still clung to her clothes, she pushed open the door - and noticed with a start that the lights in her living room were on. The heavenly smell of coffee wafted through the air, and - just for a moment - her heart leapt in joyful expectation.

But as she slipped off her shoes, she saw that the other pair resting tidily in the tray by the door were not the worn sneakers that she been hoping for, but were instead a pair of shiny black loafers.

Don't be so pathetic, she chided herself as her heart sank once again. Out loud, she called, "Dad?" and tossed her suit jacket and purse onto the little entryway table. A pile of unopened mail slid off onto the floor; she'd pick it up later.

"There you are, Misaki," Kirihara Naoyasu said, looking up from the kitchen sink where he stood in his shirtsleeves, drying a mug. "Just in time - the coffee should be about done." He placed the mug next to the neatly arranged stack of newly-cleaned cups and plates that had been residing in the sink for the past two weeks.

"I was going to wash those in the morning," Misaki said. She'd been telling herself that every night; and every morning she'd woken up too tired and nauseous to bother. "You didn't have to do that."

"I don't mind. I'm sure you've been busier than usual lately, with this surge in contractor activity. My department certainly has been." He poured out one cup of coffee, but Misaki stopped him before he could serve a second.

"None for me, thanks; I'm going to bed early tonight. I'll make some tea instead."

Her father raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't comment. Misaki filled a small saucepan with water and set it on the stove to boil. She pulled out a paring knife and rooted around in the fridge until she found a wrinkled stump of ginger. As she began slicing off the peel, she asked, "What are you doing here, Dad?" He had her spare key for emergencies, but had never used it before. He'd never even dropped by to visit without calling first.

"I wanted to talk with you, and since you've been ducking my calls, this seemed like the best way."

"I haven't been ducking your calls," Misaki lied. "I just don't have any time for a conversation in which you refuse to give me an explanation for your criminal activities."

Naoyasu shook his head. "And I've told you already - or rather, I've told your voicemail - I haven't done anything criminal. I was overseas during the Tokyo Explosion by coincidence; a friend called to warn me about EPR's activities at the Gate after they'd already begun their attack. Where did you learn to slice vegetables like that?"

"What?" Misaki looked down at her hands. "Oh. A cooking show."

She'd learned mostly by watching Hei. He could hold a convoluted root in one hand and with the other peel the whole thing with easy, continuous strokes of a knife.

Kanami had been right about ginger root tea being good for morning sickness, and Misaki made a cup almost every night now, when the nausea was at its worst; though she was nowhere near as adept at peeling the ginger as Hei. Even so, the act was more calming than she would have supposed, and while she sliced, she could imagine Hei's arms around her, his hands cupping hers as they had done when he'd first shown her how. The purpose of that lesson had been mostly to have an excuse to be close to him, rather than learn. Not that either of them had ever needed much excuse for that.

She frowned, and started slicing the root into half-inch discs to add to the boiling water. "Please don't change the subj - ow!"

"Misaki, what did you do? Let me see."

Her father reached for her hand, but she held it back. "The knife slipped, that's all. Can you get me a paper towel?" It wasn't a bad cut; she squeezed the towel around her finger and dropped the remaining chunk of ginger into the pot. "So, you were telling me about how you first got involved with the Syndicate?"

"Misaki, you've said yourself that you have no evidence implicating me in anything. Director - former Director Hourai," he amended, catching her look, "only gave my name along with a long list of others during his initial deposition, very few of whom have been definitively linked to the Syndicate. There's no evidence at all; I don't know what it is you want from me."

The cut on her finger had stopped bleeding; Misaki gave it one last squeeze, then tossed the towel into the trash. She crossed her arms and stared down into the boiling ginger. "I want you to be honest with me. If not out of respect, then at least self-interest: the Syndicate kept detailed records of all its members, stored on a central server. We haven't found it yet, but we're close. If your name is in there - Dad, I need to know. I don't want to have to arrest you. Make an official statement; you say you haven't done anything wrong, and I believe you - I do. We just need to get everything out in the open so that it doesn't come back and bite me in the ass later."

"What do you mean, bite you in the ass - is this about protecting your new position? This new crusade you're on?"

"What crusade?"

Naoyasu took a sip of his coffee and answered evenly, "Integrating contractors into society, getting the public to accept them. It's ridiculous. I know things looked bad after EPR's assault on the Gate, but we could have salvaged the situation. We could have -"

"That sounds like a Syndicate member talking."

"It's just common sense. After all you've seen, do you honestly believe that contractors can possibly live alongside humans?"

The smell of ginger had finally overpowered the coffee aroma; Misaki carefully poured the steaming liquid from the saucepan into a clean mug. "They have been, for the past ten years. I've worked closely with a couple, and honestly, they're no different from any of the rest of us. That's what I'm trying to get the world to understand."

"Who have you worked with - that MI-6 agent? The one who murdered his handler in cold blood?"

"The one who reacted emotionally when he learned that his superior had been planning to have him eradicated like vermin, you mean? Yes, that MI-6 agent." Leaving the dirty pot in the sink, Misaki took her mug into the living room and settled onto the sofa. After a moment, her father followed and sat down next to her.

"You feel quite strongly about this, don't you."

"Yes."

"And I'm not going to convince you to change your mind."

"No. Now can we get back to the original subject?"

Naoyasu sighed, cupping his steaming mug in his hands. "Misaki, I was just trying to protect you."

"I can take care of myself; you're not protecting me by keeping me in the dark." The ginger tea was slow to take effect tonight; maybe she hadn't boiled it long enough.

"I know you can. But I don't mean now - I mean ten years ago. After the Gate first appeared, and we began to see how people were changing because of it."

Misaki glanced over at her father in surprise; he wasn't looking at her though, but rather gazing into his coffee.

"The utility of contractors in military and espionage operations was seen early on," he continued. "It made sense: the public had to be protected from such dangerous, cold-hearted people, so they were captured and hidden away in secret military bases. Each nation snapped up as many contractors as they could find on their own soil. My division was mostly occupied with keeping the major crime syndicates ignorant of contractors' potential for their organizations. Don't worry, I'm fully aware of the irony."

She ghosted a smile.

"It was maybe a year later…no, less than that. Anyway, no one was talking about eradicating contractors yet, at least not that I ever heard, until Hourai's accident."

"When he lost his hands in the contractor attack that killed his wife?"

"Ah; is that what I told you?"

Her brow furrowed. "Was that not what happened? You lied -"

Naoyasu held up hand. "It's the truth - just not all of it. The contractor was his wife. She attacked him; he managed to kill her in self-defense, but in the process, his hands were severed."

"His wife?" Misaki said quietly. It was almost enough to engender a spark of pity for the man. Almost.

Her father nodded. "After that, Hourai became vehemently outspoken against contractors; he said that they didn't belong in a civilized society, that they were less than human. Parasites. Most of the directors and section chiefs agreed with him. I'd seen enough by then to know that he was right."

"Dad, that's not -"

"Just look at Hourai's own history, Misaki. His own wife tried to murder him for no other reason than she thought it was the rational thing to do. Contractors cannot coexist peacefully with humans; it just isn't possible."

Misaki clenched her jaw in frustration. It would be pointless to argue. Time, she reminded herself. Given enough time, even people like her father who had been there in the early days of contractors would see that things weren't so black and white. "Are you saying that Hourai started the Syndicate himself?"

"Maybe," Naoyasu said. "He was certainly one of the top men in the organization, from the very beginning. After his hands were replaced, he and Director Ito attended the first Interpol summit on the international procedures to be implemented in cases concerning contractors and Gate-related crime. When he returned, he was much quieter about his opinions. I think that that was probably when the organization began to form."

Misaki had studied that and the subsequent summits in her police coursework, once she had received official clearance to access contractor-related files. She supposed it made sense for Hourai, as Director of Foreign Affairs, to go. It would have also given him prime opportunity to meet other like-minded police and intelligence directors…

"Director Ito," she said. "He's retired now; is he still in the city?"

"I think so; but Misaki, you are not going to go bothering an old retired gentleman!"

"I will if I have reason to suspect him to be involved in the Syndicate," Misaki said, before adding, "which I don't. Right now, anyway. So you shared Hourai's opinions on contractors - when, exactly, did you join them?"

Naoyasu shook his head. "I was never a part of it, not really. I didn't know anything about the true purpose of Heaven's War, or the Saturn Ring Project." He sighed. "I simply…looked the other way when a Syndicate representative needed something from my division, or lost the paperwork when one of their operatives was arrested. In return, as a courtesy, I was notified of all operatives assigned to Tokyo."

"What do you mean that you were notified of operatives? Were you just given their Messier codes, or…"

"I received a short dossier on each one, which was returned upon their transfer out of the city. Or death, as the case may be."

She hesitated, then asked, "Did you have a file on BK-201?"

"Of course. And before you ask, no, I no longer have it. I - I burned anything potentially incriminating as soon as I returned to the country."

"But you read it?"

"Yes. It wasn't complete, of course, just the pertinent details. Those details, though…Misaki, I understand what you're doing, spreading that story around about how BK-201 saved both mankind and contractors; it makes a great angle for the general public. But no one who's read that file will believe your story. BK-201 is a monster, through and through. He wasn't the only one, certainly, but he was by far one of the worst."

"These monsters were employed by the same people you were aiding and abetting," Misaki said coldly. "The same people who gave you those files, so that you would let them go about their business without fear of arrest. How could you? You knew it was an illegal organization!"

"I knew that they were working to understand the Gates and ultimately protect the world from the threat of contractors; that was worth any sacrifice of my professional ethics."

"I don't believe this!" Misaki exploded, clutching her mug tightly to keep from throwing it across the room. "You taught me to believe in the law, to uphold it no matter what - and all this time - "

"I had you to think about! Misaki, you're my daughter, the only family I have - I would do anything to keep you safe."

"Don't you dare use me as an excuse! Did you ever stop and think that maybe I wouldn't want that? That I'd rather you stood up for your principles, like you've always taught me to do?"

He shook his head. "When you have a child of your own - if you ever do - you'll understand."

She opened her mouth to protest that of course that wouldn't change a thing…and then remembered how much she'd already compromised, for Hei. Not because he'd asked her to; he'd never asked. She'd gone against her own code, broken the law multiple times, simply because of her feelings for him. She'd justified it to herself at the time, of course, but that didn't change the facts. If anyone in this room was a hypocrite, it was her.

"It doesn't matter," she said instead, slouching back against the cushions. "Did they ever pay you?"

Naoyasu blinked. "What?"

"The Syndicate - did they ever pay you for services rendered."

"No."

Misaki rubbed her temple wearily. "That's good. It'll help your case. We can go over the details of all your dealings with them later; right now I need you to tell me if you know anything about a server belonging to the Syndicate. One that can store massive amounts of contractor and Astronomics data."

Her father shook his head. "I still haven't agreed to making any kind of official statement; there is no case. But no, I haven't heard of anything like that. I would think that such a thing would be located inside Pandora; it was always a front for the Syndicate."

"It's not in Pandora, or anywhere near the Gate. Some reason having to do with electromagnetic disruptions potentially corrupting the long-term storage of the data."

"Ah. Well, if anyone knows, it would be Hourai. Have you been successful in getting him to talk yet?"

Defeat settled in Misaki's stomach. She took a long sip of tea, but it had gone cold. "When I left the secure facility this afternoon, he was going to meet with his lawyer to sign a deal."

Naoyasu's face lit up. "Misaki, that's wonderful! I knew you'd…" He trailed off when he saw her expression. "You said, was going to? What happened?"

"He was found dead barely an hour later."

The look of shock that crossed her father's face was genuine, she was relieved to see. "How?"

"It looks like suicide."

"But you don't think it is."

"No." She hesitated. An outside opinion would be valuable; especially from someone with a solid understanding of contractors and the Syndicate. If Hei was there - but he wasn't. And for all that she still trusted her father, he was hardly a disinterested party. "I'm sorry; I can't discuss the details at this point in the investigation."

"At this point," Naoyasu repeated. "You're sounding more and more like a public relations automaton every day. Well, that's the course you've set for yourself, with this pro-contractor campaign." He sighed. "What can I do to help?"

"What I've been asking you to do all along - come clean about your involvement."

"Someone out there is killing Syndicate members to keep them from talking, and you want me to publicly admit an association?"

"Dad, if I thought for even a minute that making a statement would put you at risk, I wouldn't ask. We've arrested several low-level members so far, and none have received a single threat. Hourai was a special case; if you're as uninvolved as you say, you'll be fine. I'll give you a protective detail if you want - experienced officers." Whether he asked or not, she'd provide an undercover watch; there was no way in hell she'd let anything happen to her father.

"Absolutely not - I can't imagine a worse embarrassment! And what about my career? It will be over, and all the hard work I've done in the past thirty years will have been for nothing."

"You should have thought about that before you decided to turn a blind eye to the Syndicate's activity."

"Misaki, I don't appreciate your tone. I'm your father, as well as your superior in the police, and -"

"And you broke the law! Dad, it won't be that bad. We'll write up a deal and you'll get off with a light sentence. Maybe we'll even be able to swing house arrest instead of prison." She drew in a shaky breath, then added quietly, "If you're lucky, you'll be out before your grandchild is born."

"I thought you said a light sentence, not life," he snorted.

She shrugged in an attempt at nonchalance. "October isn't too far off; six months is hardly life."

"That's -" he began, then trailed off when Misaki didn't meet his eyes. "You're not serious," he said flatly.

In answer, Misaki rose from the sofa and went over to her purse. She rifled in it until she found the ultrasound photo, and brought it back to her father, handing it over without comment.

He took it gingerly and stared wide-eyed at the grainy turtle-shaped blotch in the center. "I…I didn't know you were seeing anyone," he said at last, still not taking his eyes off the photo.

"It wasn't anything serious," Misaki said, settling into the corner of the sofa with her cold tea and her knees tucked up beneath her.

"Well it's certainly serious now! October, you said? You mean you're actually going through with this?"

"Yes."

"Why on earth would you? I'm sure it's not too hard to get a doctor to sign off on -"

"Dad, I just told you - I'm keeping it. I've spent a long time thinking, and I've decided."

"Misaki, be reasonable! You still have your whole career ahead of you; and if you drop out of this push to get contractors integrated into society, I guarantee you that no one else will pick it up. Do you really want all your hard work to go to waste?"

"Who said anything about giving up my career? Plenty of men have families and somehow still manage to work," she retorted.

"You're going to have a stay-at-home husband, then?" The disapproval was clear in his voice. "Who is this man, if I may ask? I hope I'm at least invited to the wedding; it seems I'm not allowed to be privy to the changes in my own daughter's life."

Misaki closed her eyes, struggling against the surge of guilt. "There isn't going to be a wedding."

"He isn't stepping up to his responsibility? What kind of a man -"

"He doesn't know!" she protested. "Look, family is one of the most important things to him; I'm sure if he knew, he wouldn't hesitate to do whatever was necessary to take care of his child."

"So when are you going to tell him? Are you waiting until it's too late to change your mind?"

She'd wondered more than once whether or not Hei would try and talk her out of it; and whether or not she would listen. But it didn't matter. The reality was that, circumstances being what they were, the decision was entirely hers. And she'd made it. "No. He - it's complicated."

"Complicated how?"

She sighed. "Like I said, it wasn't a serious relationship. His...business is based abroad, and he was only in Tokyo for a few months. We had a big argument, and then he had to leave the country suddenly for work. I didn't know at the time that I was already...anyway, he doesn't know. And I don't know if I'll see him again to tell him."

"Surely you have his phone number or address."

"No."

"Well, I have connections with Interpol - if you give me his name, I'm sure I can find out -"

"Dad, no. I made my decision knowing full well that I'll probably have to do this alone. I mean, I do want to tell him; at the very least he has a right to know, and I'm sure that he would do whatever he can to help. But it's not going to be easy to find him." Especially as his life currently depended on not being found; she wasn't going to do anything to bring attention to his whereabouts. Even asking Kanami for updates on his star was probably pushing too much. "My energy will be better spent focusing on my work."

Her father shook his head. "I thought I raised you better than this."

"Better than what, exactly?" she said sharply, shame heating her cheeks.

"Better than getting yourself into such a situation! Misaki, I don't understand you. How could you be so careless? I don't think you understand how this is going to affect the rest of your life. It would be hard enough to have a career as a mother, but as a single mother? You can't even imagine! What are you going to do with the baby while you're at work? How are you going to get up in the middle of the night for feedings, and still make it to your early morning meetings?"

"I'll figure it out," she said; though she hadn't the first clue where to start. His arguments were entirely valid, and the reality of the looming future threatened to overwhelm her on a daily basis.

Naoyasu sighed heavily. "After your mother died, and we were on our own...it wasn't easy. You were at least old enough to take care of yourself, but it still wasn't easy. I questioned every day whether I was capable of raising you alone."

"I thought you did a good job," Misaki said quietly. It made her feel a bit better to know that her father, who had always appeared to have life perfectly in control, had had moments of doubt as well. But more than anything, she hated disappointing him. And she'd just disappointed him in the worst possible way.

He gazed at the photo in his hands. "I never actually expected to be a grandfather. When you were dating that law student, Nakahara, for a while I thought, maybe. But then your career took off...I am proud of you, you know. Uncovering the Syndicate and going after them all on your own."

"I wasn't completely alone."

"I know. You have a great team at your back, that you've built and inspired yourself. Even chiefs twice your age have trouble managing that. I've always admired your loyalty to the people beneath you."

She allowed herself a tiny smile at the praise, though she hardly deserved it.

"You must really love this man, to put yourself through all of this," her father said, his face weary.

"I guess I do."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Misaki replied automatically, then she sighed. "Aside from the constant exhaustion and feeling like I'm perpetually on the edge of the flu, I feel fine."

"Just like your mother."

"What?"

Naoyasu smiled sadly. "Yasuko was ill throughout her entire pregnancy. She spent the last two months on bed rest, she was so weak. But I'm sure you'll do better."

"God I hope so. The doctor says the nausea should ease up soon, anyway."

They sat in silence for a long time, both lost in their own thoughts. Misaki had never asked her mother anything about what it had been like to have a crush, to fall in love, to have a baby - any of the things that little girls went to their mothers for. She'd only been nine when Yasuko had fallen ill, ten when she'd died. She could remember sitting on the edge of the hospital bed on one of the days when her mother had been well enough to sit up, Yasuko brushing Misaki's long hair; she'd done that every night, at home. Misaki had just started a new year at school and her mother had asked her if there were any cute boys in the class. Misaki could remember making a face and swearing that all boys were stupid; her mother had laughed. One of the last times that Misaki had heard her laugh.

She wished now that she'd asked more questions about her mom's life growing up, or what to expect in the future. But at the time, she'd been pretending so hard that everything would be okay, that her mother would get better the next day. And if not that day, then the next. Her own grown-up, potential life had been the furthest thing from her mind. What would Yasuko think of her daughter's situation now? Would she be ashamed too?

Naoyasu's voice broke the silence at last. "Misaki, are you alright? Truly?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just…I miss Mom." She couldn't keep the edge of tears from her voice. Damn hormones.

Her father reached over and squeezed her hand. "Me too, honey. Me too."