A/N: Hiya! How's everyone doing? Any thoughts on the A/B format I've decided to go with so far? I know there weren't many differences in the last chapter but there will be some more significant ones in the future. This chapter will wrap up Zero and Kaname's adventure with Elias so again there won't be too many major changes between this version and version a with the exception of the method that they decide to move forward with maybe don't quote me on that yet because I'm not entirely sure I want to split the plot that much but we'll see what happens when we get there. I will also mention that since Shizuka isn't dead yet she will be coming back into the story soon, once Zero is sixteen/seventeen as is cannon, however I have decided that Ichiru is in fact dead and will stay as such. I have plenty of other fics that will be written out one day where Ichiru is involved but for this one and for my plans I think it makes more sense if he stays absent. Sorry to disappoint anyone that may have wanted him to come back but I promise the story will not fall short of enough angst regardless. Lastly, this chapter might start out a little confusing because it will be a memory/flashback in Zero's perspective of a scene that I deliberately did not put in the earlier chapters but it will be in Kaname's mind without Zero's knowledge so if you're confused that's totally fine, it'll all come together I promise. There's a lot of Yuki bashing in this chapter. Trigger Warning: manipulation, emotional and mental abuse are in this chapter pretty much right from the get go! Please take care of yourself and do not read this if those topics are going to put you in a bad headspace. That is all my notes for now, thank you to everyone reading both those new and those that have been here I appreciate all of you. Enjoy! ~Len
Ch. 18: Restless Memories (B)
Shoes of at least forty students clicked down the hallways and scurried into classrooms as fast as possible, the first bell had already rung and they didn't want to be late. Kaname looked around, no one was looking at him which was strange considering that was the opposite reaction he was used to in school. Some students whispered around him but there was so much noise it was difficult to pick out full conversations. He did notice that even if they didn't look at him the students moved out of his way quickly. Any direction he looked in other people would put their heads down and give him space to move. 'Strange, they look like day class students but the day class girls are never this wary of the night class,' the pureblood thought as his feet carried him on their own on a familiar route to a classroom he didn't know. The tall windows on the side was where he tucked himself into a corner, apparently not worried that the sun could beam down on him all day. Another oddity but he supposed dreams often depicted subconscious wishes not reality. A sigh escaped his lips as he reached into a bookbag and pulled out a stack of completed assignments from over the weekend he assumed. He noticed people kept away from him if given the chance; only a couple students apparently didn't mind sitting near him, a short-haired girl that Yuuki often hung around and a small group of boys he didn't pay much attention to. Another strange but not necessarily unwelcome change from the norm. In such a large class it was odd that people made space for him but he didn't particularly care. Just after the second bell rang Yuuki came skidding into class, hair partially damp, uniform a little on the sloppy side and face slightly flushed. Kaname was about to greet her and offer a seat next to himself but the words died on his tongue when their eyes met and she actually glared instead.
"How nice of you to join us, Miss Cross, if you would like to take your seat I will start attendance," the teacher spoke up, a tone of clear disapproval in his voice. Yuuki sputtered out an apology before taking a seat near the short-haired girl.
"What happened to you?" the girl whispered whilst attendance began, Kaname's ears pricked to hear the answer. He was curious as to what happened for her to not only be late but show up in such a state.
"Well someone didn't wake me up for class this morning like he's supposed to. You better have my assignment done, I can't fail this class," she replied, turning her glare once more at Kaname. Was he supposed to do her homework or something? Why wouldn't she do it on her own? He was about to respond that he didn't do her homework for her but he found the voice coming out of his throat didn't belong to him at all.
"It's not my job to wake you up and get you ready, we're not six," the voice answered as his hands started moving on their own, flipping through the papers before handing the still glaring brown-eyes girl half of them. "Just write your name on it," he added, not missing the roll of her eyes or the tongue that she stuck out at him but he didn't or, rather, couldn't comment on it.
"Whatever, Cross says you have to take care of me, that means you have to be a good big brother and get me up in the morning and make sure I get a good breakfast. Besides, you wouldn't want me to tell Kaname-sama you've been neglecting your dear sister would you?" she sneered more than asked, Kaname felt his eyes roll but the body cavity said nothing more. The body cavity he now knew to be Zero. Kaname himself was appalled at the younger perfect's behavior. This was not the Yuuki he knew to meet them at the gates in the evening, it certainly wasn't the grateful little girl he used to meet at Cross' house in the evenings that would stare at him star struck and doe eyed with all the innocence in the world written on her cherub face. This Yuuki was far more manipulative, he could almost argue she gave off a sinister aura.
"He told me to look out for you and to help you if you needed it, he didn't say I needed to be your fucking slave," the voice Kaname now recognized to be Zero's, hissed in response.
"That's part of being an older brother, not that you would know since you obviously weren't a good enough one to Ichiru, otherwise he'd still be alive," the wicked smirk that covered the lips of this inhuman monster wearing his sister's face made Kaname and Zero's blood boil.
'How dare she...' the pureblood could have snarled at her but Zero only sat there, turning his head out the window before they got in trouble for talking out of line. 'This isn't a dream,' Kaname suddenly realized why he had no influence over the younger vampire he was currently seeing the world through. 'This is a memory...this actually happened...and I had no idea,' the pureblood felt his breath be taken as the scenes started to change. He was now in Yuuki's room, a book opened and several papers on his lap that he was filling out carefully. Yuuki herself was in the bathroom doing god knows what but Zero didn't have a mind to care as he needed to get his homework done and get over to training.
"Zeeerroo~ come brush my hair for me?" the sing-song tone only served to grate on his nerves, everything in his body was telling him this was a trap but he got up anyway and knocked on the door waiting for it to swing open before stepping inside the clutter-filled space. God did he not miss living with her.
"You know if you spent less time doing your hair and more time studying you might actually pass chemistry..." he mumbled, the annoyance of repeating that sentence for the hundredth time clearly evident.
"I am passing chemistry," she snubbed, making Zero roll his eyes.
"No, I'm passing chemistry for you. The only effort you put in is copying down the bare minimum you care to read off my papers and writing your name at the top," he argued pointedly but Yuuki didn't seem to pay any attention.
"I have more important things to worry about than how my high school chemistry class will affect my future GPA. It's not like headmaster Cross will make me repeat a year, so what does it matter?" she shrugged, Zero wasn't going to be the one to break the news that yes the man would make her repeat the year if she fell behind too far. He was kind and supportive but he wasn't that stupid.
"Whatever," he mumbled, leaving the hair as it was and returning to his studies. Taking a glance at the clock he quickly packed his things, his master didn't like to wait and he was going to be at the training grounds soon. "I'm leaving," he announced briefly, not waiting for the reply as he left the girl's room and headed for the door. Stopping for just a moment to leave a note for Cross that he was done for the day and minimally reporting what he and Yuuki had completed. 'Finally...' he sighed, as soon as he was outside Kaname felt the tension wash away from his body so quickly it almost made him dizzy.
Kaname opened his eyes to the dimly lit room he and Zero were occupying in the hut. The dream-like memory still lodged into his mind, the pureblood turned to sneak a glance at the still sleeping teen in the other bed. As always he faced the window, allowing the gentle moonlight to engulf the top of his head. How could anyone harbor ill feelings toward such an angle Kaname would never know, but the hate-filled words that Yuuki spit was a matter he would need to address sooner rather than later. If he wanted anything to do with the girl in his future she would need to understand her place as well as her unacceptable actions. He would not stand for such behavior from anyone. 'Does she still bother you in such a way I wonder...and why didn't you tell me?' he questioned. He could see Zero stiffen slightly as he had obviously heard him. The pureblood frowned, he had been awake, possibly even before Kaname himself woke up. However the silver-haired vampire stayed silent, either unsure of how to answer or wanting to avoid the foreboding conversation entirely. Kaname sighed audibly, running a hand through his hair as he sat up in bed. "We'll talk about it later, there are other things we need to discuss today that take precedence over this...but do not believe I will forget," he voiced in order to give the younger some room to breathe and clear the tension. They would both need to keep a clear mind in order to proceed with Elias this evening. It wouldn't do well to have Zero avoiding him or keeping distance between them in the process or they risked something going wrong. He allowed himself to get ready and leave the room first, noting that Zero only began to move once he did so. Unease was still forcing his heart to beat faster than normal but it slowed to its normal rhythm as water from the shower began to run.
"Have you decided what is the best course of action?" Elias asked once the young alpha vampire was greeted in the small dining area.
"Yes, although I worry it may cause some commotion we believe suppressants are the best way to move forward. He has expressed that he thinks the charm would be the most effective and wont allow for him to "slip" so to speak," Kaname answered as calmly as he could.
"You don't sound thrilled about it," the old man noted.
"I look forward to putting him at ease, but Zero is...quite innocent still, I fear the world will not be kind about the change and he already faces so much in his day to day life. He's mature for his age and weathered storms most will never understand the beginnings of but when it comes to his emotional range there are often issues. I don't want him to suffer more," the pureblood confessed, Yuuki's words still echoed in his mind making the prince realize just how blind he may have been to what the silver-haired hunter was truly facing. As a pureblood no one dare spoke against him and nothing he did would be ridiculed but that was not always the case for those in his company and once outside of earshot he knew the world could be grossly unforgiving. Was this only going to do more irreparable harm? He didn't know for sure and that worried him greatly.
"Kaname, you have guided him like a parent but I believe it is high time you start viewing him as your peer instead. He only has a few years left of being under the legal age but he has a long way to go before he is considered fully developed. He will continue to learn and navigate the world in his own way, it is not going to be your job to guide him forever, it is your job to be there when he needs it. More importantly it is your job to be there in the way he needs it. Zero is no weak spirit, anyone with two eyes and a nose can see that, his confidence in himself will continue to grow as long as you continue to support him. You cannot control the world outside. I had to say the same thing to your father so now I will say this to you; when he leaves he will experience things you may or may not like but it's not your job to make sure he's never scratched. You cannot prevent the wound but you can heal it when he comes home crying and allow the skin to grow back stronger for the next time he goes out and faces his demons. Do you understand your role in his life?" Elias asked seriously. Kaname opened and closed his mouth a few times but stayed silent, contemplating the other's words as he heard familiar footsteps coming down the hall.
'I suppose he isn't exactly a child anymore...' he pondered watching as the hunter walked through the doorway. Time wasn't something he paid much attention to. Vampires hated to dwell on the passing of time because for them it didn't matter, but, looking at Zero he realized maybe he should have paid more attention. He was sure the boy hadn't just suddenly grown another half a foot or trimmed down over night but that's how he felt.
"Ohayo Zero-kun," Elias greeted as the silver-haired teen joined them at the table.
"Konbanwa," came the expected response, Kaname noted that even the boy's voice was beginning to lose the last tones of his youth. How hadn't he realized any of this before? They lived together for Kami's sake.
"Kaname-kun was telling me you two have decided to move forward with the charm suppressant, as I said before there will be some pain and discomfort but it wont take too long to place and after some rest you should feel alright and be stabilized," Zero nodded, it didn't seem like such a big deal to him but he could feel there was some nervousness coming from the prince.
"So when can we do it?" the question was innocent in nature but Kaname could have choked at the phrasing. Elias held in a knowing smirk briefly turning his eyes on the pureblood.
"Whenever you're ready,"
"Then let's get started,"
A/N: Thank you all for reading! If you've gotten this far with me as an author you should applaud yourselves because I kind of suck ngl *insert sheepish sweat-drop emoji here* but I really do appreciate you all that continue to support me and my writing along with my crappy updates. I hope I stuck a bit more true to Zero's age in this chapter, as I was reading over chapter 17 I felt like I was still writing for a much younger Zero and despite that yes he is socially stunted I don't want him to be a forever baby. Not the vibe I'm going for and not generally one I like. So I hope this chapter kind shifts that viewpoint and more of cannon Zero is shown better. Because I've been viewing Zero from Kaname's point of view a lot I think he got stuck in "child mode" so to speak and now I'm going to break out of that from here on out. So yes, he will still be a little naïve and what not because he didn't magically go off and learn the ways of the social world but hopefully he won't sound like a 12 year old anymore. I'm hoping that Kaname and the rest of the night class noticing the maturing changes to their precocious hunter will help tie that together tighter. It could all just be in my head too but since what is in my head comes out on digital paper for you guys to read I want at least to have a consistent timeline. I was also thinking about doing some side-fics? Filler episode type stuff? Any thoughts on that? Let me know in a review if you have an opinion and if not then just sit tight and enjoy whatever comes. As always, have a wonderful night/day or whatever time slot you're in and remember to keep writing, keep reading, and live creative. Until Next Time! ~Len