DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Naruto speaking to Kurama in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

"Itachi," Minato greeted, entering the safe house. "Don't get up! I told Shisui to ensure you didn't get up."

"My cute little cousin wouldn't listen," Shisui said, ignoring Itachi's annoyance with him. "He's a very formal brat!"

Itachi closed his eyes, reminding himself not to genjutsu or Amaterasu Shisui: he wasn't supposed to use chakra yet. "Forgive me - and him, Hokage-sama," Itachi sighed. "It is good to see you again." He hadn't seen his godfather since he was five.

Shisui told him that Minato-sama still hadn't explained how he was alive again. Itachi had previously wondered if the man had ever really died; if the village had perhaps saved a comatose or otherwise highly-injured Yondaime after the Kyuubi attack, telling the population that he was dead. Looking at him, now, however, Yondaime-sama didn't look any older than he last remembered.

Minato smiled at Itachi: he couldn't have been more proud of him. "It's good to see you, too! You've really grown," which was probably a stupid thing to say, because of course Itachi would have grown from being a little boy in over a decade and a half. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," Itachi said, ignoring the way Shisui glared at him. "Really." If nothing else, he was mentally in a far better place considering that he wasn't forced to do Akatsuki business anymore. His only remaining ordeal was living under the "care" of his older cousin and continuing to wait to see Sasuke.

Minato sat down, resting his elbows on his knees. "Has there been any trouble here?"

"No, sir," they both said at once.

"Nothing at all?"

"No," the Uchihas said, looking at each other to see if one had missed something, or had been holding out on the other. "I don't believe so, sir," Itachi said.

"Good. That's good," Minato breathed to himself before smiling up at them reassuringly. Since Itachi had come back from his long-term assignment and was undoubtedly on the Akatsuki's hit list, Minato had been worried that Obito would be motivated to teleport in and grab him as much as he wanted to Naruto. "I'm headed to the Barrier Division after this to have a personal look at the village's seals. Itachi-kun, were you able to examine Madara's Sharingan or other abilities?"

"As I reported to Jiraiya-sama, Madara has the Sharingan's Kamui ability. Additionally, and with only one Sharingan, Madara - or the person masquerading as him - has some… interesting and very powerful genjutsu abilities, more so than an Uchiha with one eye should. I was able to capture him in a genjutsu once, but was left highly weakened afterward."

But then again, I also hit Pein that day. It was a wonder that he survived as long as he did following that. He'd been completely blind soon after. "He also knows many of the techniques Madara is said to have mastered."

"He still has only one eye?" Minato asked darkly. He had only seen one eye when they were fighting, but Obito could've had something else hidden behind that large mask of his.

What a strange way to ask that question. He'd have to consider that later. "To my knowledge," Itachi said then sat up more, giving his cousin a nod.

Shisui nodded back. "And this is when I do my big reveal." He pulled up his modified headband and opened his eye.

"The Rinnegan," Minato said, feeling sick.

"Fucking Uchihas!"

Minato cleared his throat, knowing that trying to talk Kurama down was useless, after being on the hunt with Shisui for as long as he had been previously. "Shisui, Madara is going to want that eye," Minato said, rubbing at the sides of his hitai-ate.

Sasuke had obtained the Rinnegan in his past timeline. Minato now figured that Sasuke and Itachi must have exchanged eyes. Or Sasuke simply took Itachi's eyes after he died, as Madara was said to have taken his brother's. Either way, it was one of Itachi's eyes, it seemed, that had further evolved.

Yet he remembered, through Naruto's memories on the battlefield, of her interacting with Itachi both before and after Itachi died. He quickly shook his head, feeling sick at what the two had gone through - and became even more uncomfortable at remembering the way Itachi had "fed" Shisui's eye to his daughter. Good Lord…

"Although I don't really like the way the eye looks," Shisui said, crossing his arms and jutting his chin out, "I'm going to say he can't have it."

Itachi clicked his tongue at his cousin's cheek.

"Let's keep it that way," Minato said in even more agreement than he let on. "I'd like to have you henge and seal your appearance for your protection? I need to look more into sealing that eye so that no one else can use it but you."

"After Danzo running around with my eye for years? Yeah," he said with a caustic chuckle. "I have no problem with that."

"How about just sealing the way the Rinnegan looks and leaving the rest of THIS alone?" Shisui asked a minute later, giving his cousin a wink as his hands swept down his body in a bold but quick gesture. Itachi awarded him with one of what Shisui termed Itachi's Deadpan Looks of Dismay. "I don't yet know how to use it, but I am pretty beautiful."

Minato cleared his throat and tried not to smile as Itachi scolded Shisui simply by saying his name in a certain dark tone. "Okay, although you're in more danger just by looking like, well…"

"Like Uchihas," the two very good-looking cousins said together.

"You might want to think about it… For example, Naruto's henges are simple: she wears her hair black, but it's styled - or unstyled, I suppose - in the same fashion, and hides her whisker marks," Minato told them. He had wanted to seal her appearance temporarily, too. Kakashi had nixed that: having an absolute fit about it. Minato would've insisted, but it was her gigantic - no, "monstrous:" if one would forgive the term - chakra signature(s) that were the bigger problem.

His daughter might be incredible at hiding most all of that chakra, but the signature was still terribly distinctive.

"Itachi would look terrible as a blonde!"

Minato hummed, unsure about that. The Uchihas were young men that had been solely focused on duty, from what he understood, so they did deserve to go out and - to some extent - unleash their good looks on the female population. Or the males: he didn't care. He might need to get the village ready for war, but most ninjas, he believed, fought better and harder when they had a full life to come home to. These two definitely deserved some happiness. Or maybe he was overthinking things…

Jiraiya's recent words filled his head and Minato felt sick. "You've always been a romantic, Minato! You need to go out and get a girlfriend - or at least get laid!"

No way. Kushina would literally have his balls.

Minato forced a gentle smile back on his face. "Itachi-kun shouldn't be using his chakra yet, at all, so he doesn't have to decide right now. And if you'd like, I can give you until later today to decide, Shisui-san. Now," he clapped his hands, getting to the heart of the matter. "How many of those that survived the attack on your clan are in hiding? And where are they?"

Itachi closed his eyes, exhausted but ready to finally report the truth to a Kage he trusted.

After meeting her new colleagues and a thorough tour of the Barrier Division HQ, Minato sealed the room so that he could speak alone with his daughter. "What do you think?"

"It's impressive but clearly inadequate," Naru sighed. "I… wish I knew more sealing! We can't allow Pein, Nagato - Ame - the Akatsuki… ANYONE else to get in. It's great that there's a shield that lets us know that we have intruders in the village, but we have to stop them before that happens. Why can't we register everyone's chakra that's allowed to be here, and bounce anyone else back? Or zap 'em! OH! And repel them from underground? –I was already trying to figure that out on the estate, ya know?"

Minato nodded. This is one reason why he wanted Naruto here: the village needed her imagination and past, other-life experiences. Aside from these more general ideas, she had mentioned some things that would probably send anyone unwanted running before they even reached Konoha. "Your mother was once in charge of Barriers - as was Mito-hime who set the whole thing up - before her."

Naruto looked through the glass office they were in that was in the middle of the building. She could feel the chakra from the seals that hid them from the others, but couldn't see them. To think that her mother's chakra was still running here? Was that possible?

"I can feel her in these walls as much as I sense her within you," Minato said, gazing at her sadly. Naruto hid behind her hair, wiped at her eyes before they teared up then continued looking around.

"I never knew," she eventually sighed when the silence became too much, closing her eyes in grief. "WHY did Jiji first deny me a heritage that was mine? I mean - he was shielding me, okay," she knew about the Third Hokage. "But I still have her blood - and it's true that seals are something I normally 'get!' As an Uzumaki should, ya know?"

Naruto was still embarrassed that even with daily training, she couldn't correctly target a destination with the Hiraishin. Supposedly that was the easiest part, considering that she was a sensor. "Plus with you as my seal master father," she began but was just at a loss to even finish her sentence.

Either Jiji was really looking out and trying to protect her from her parents' enemies (or, rather he used to care,) or it was all a lie from the beginning. Was he being kind to her from an early age so that he could twist her loyalty to the one person that seemed to care for her: him?

I guess it doesn't matter now.

"I can't say, Naruto," Minato admitted. Seeing his daughter slightly narrow her eyes at him, he clarified what he meant. "Sandaime-sama is not the man I thought he was, and Danzo's machinations and techniques harmed him irreparably in some ways, beyond that." Naruto nodded. "And that's HIGHLY classified information, Naru-chan."

"Yes sir," she said absently before plastering on a grim smile. "I understand." There wasn't anything she could do about the Third Hokage, so she had to let it go, didn't she?

Minato checked the clock and again regretted that he had to run. "Jonin Yamada will be your supervisor and get you up to speed. ANY ideas that you have, bring them to him AND send them to me by toads. I want daily reports, alright?"

"Hai!"

"Yamada's a creep."

"Right?! I totally sensed that, too," Naru internally snickered. Her father didn't seem to notice her inner monologue with her multi-tailed buddy, so she counted that as another win. The last thing she needed was for her father to know her inner thoughts.

"Pervert."

"Yep!"

Minato pressed chakra into the conference table they were using, and Naru's lips crept up in wonderment at the way the chakra seemed to fall like rain down the glass walls. She still couldn't see it, but the technique was really something. Suddenly everyone was looking at them and at attention again. It was as if they'd all forgotten that their Hokage and his kid were even there, Naru thought.

"At ease," Minato ordered, watching as the entire staff went back to their lazy postures. He really had to do more to get these people serious! "Jonin Yamada! A word please?"

Naru wanted to love her new assignment, but it was so damn hard.

She had learned a lot in the past two weeks, and most of the people that frequented or worked in Barriers were great, but there were always those few who weren't cool.

Unfortunately, one of those dipshits happened to be her new captain.

"You know," Old Captain Creep said as he smirked at her, "your mother used to be able to create her own barriers."

"So you've said," Naru replied, (as if she didn't know that,) looking at the clock. This is not what they were supposed to be discussing again. Her mother might have had defensive and offensive chains, but even she couldn't cover the entire village. And she certainly couldn't keep up a barrier indefinitely!

Honestly, Naru couldn't wait for Genma to (hopefully) come by and rescue her from this weirdo again. The senbon-sucker liked to putter around the Barrier Division when her father forced him to leave his office in the late afternoon, or just come by to play cards.

"I looked up to her so much," Creep added, absently drawing his fingers around the knots in the table. "And you've got ideas that remind me so much of hers…"

"Which is why we should be working on making them a reality NOW, wouldn't you say?" she asked with what she hoped wasn't a vicious grin. "Yamada-san…"

"Captain, koi. Call me captain."

Naruto recoiled again but desperately tried to remain professional. She leaned toward him and lowered her voice. "You are beyond overly familiar. I have warned you before, captain…"

"Forgive me," he said as he stood up. "Foxy lady."

"Oh for fuck's sake! Dude! Do you KNOW who my husband and father are? Who my grandparents are?! Who I FUCKING AM?!" The asshole just smiled at her in a challenging way; Naruto backed away before he had a chance to… What had he just tried to do?! He'd definitely just tried to touch her - and not just her hand this time. "I can flip a switch and turn into quite what you'd call a literal monster: so back off," she whispered.

"Awww. That's what makes it challenging," he said with a wink as he walked off.

Naruto looked around the open room - so many people had seen that - and felt humiliation roll over her. "Thanks for the help, guys."

Yes, those around her looked ashamed for not doing anything so Naru figured that all she could do was seek out assistance on what to do after hours. If this dickhead was doing this to her, he could certainly be forcing his perverted issues on others, too.

"Baa-chan."

"Well look who's decided to visit me," Tsunade snarked. "Imagine! I suppose I'd have more of your time if I was the Godaime."

Shizune and Sakura gasped, but Naruto only crossed her arms, feeling sick. Maybe if Tsunade was the Hokage, things, like she'd been dealing with in Barriers, wouldn't happen. –No. That was very wishful thinking.

Although she did remember most men running scared of her Hokage-grandmother back in the day!

"I need to ask your advice," Naru said somewhat shyly before forcing her shoulders back and standing tall (well: as tall as she was capable of standing.) "You know what?! I could use your advice, and I bet that Shizune-nee and Sakura-chan could, too!"

"What's wrong, Naruto-him: sorry. 'Naruto,'" Sakura said uncomfortably. She tried to hide it but thought it was just weird how informally Naruto-hime treated her. Her former teammate had insisted several times that she only call her by her first name with no honorifics, but Sakura felt so badly for the way she'd treated Naru before. "Naru:" she's already got me doing it. Plus, Naruto really was a princess: Hokage-sama's daughter. Inner squealed, but Sakura forced her to back off. Naruto deserved the title and respect…

"Sakura-chan! Rest your big brain," Naru ordered but got whomped by her grandmother. "Oww! I need your help. Dammit," she sighed. "My new captain is a pervert."

"So is everyone in the village," Tsunade said dismissively.

Shizune, however, was a more sensitive person. "What did he do? Who is he?"

Naruto shrugged, wondering just how common this kind of thing was. She'd hadn't had to deal with things like this before, having been either hiding as a boy or sheltered by a relatively UNperverted clan. "I don't… That doesn't matter. He just says things that are inappropriate, I guess."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "There IS a formal complaint process if he touches you. But it's… archaic. There are layers of bureaucracy. Imagine, if you have to, that your superior is a stalker or even worse, but it's him that you have to submit your complaint to…"

"You and Tou-san should change that," Naruto interrupted, sitting down and looking more at the elderly patient that was out cold. She wondered if the woman was in a coma: her chakra was unrestrained but barely there. Naruto went over and held her hand: the old lady was so cold.

"This guy hasn't touched me," she began, not realizing that she was also touching someone without having permission, "but he's creating a hostile work environment. I mean, seriously: how are we supposed to effectively work as a unit if people are either afraid of him or want to kill him. –I'm in the latter group, by the way. Or maybe I'm just alone, feeling that way."

"Has this happened before?" Tsunade asked, thinking about it more. Kunoichis put up with so much bullshit that was unfair; to the point where quite common things like Naru was talking about were basically accepted with a shrug. It was unfair. Every kunoichi out there risked her life just as much as her shinobi counterpart.

It wasn't until days later that she realized that men probably had these unwanted experiences, too.

"Just with this guy - I mean as far as someone targeting me for something other than the fox." Sakura gasped again while Tsunade clicked her tongue at Naru's big mouth.

"C'mon now, Sakura-chan! You had to know," Naruto said crossly.

"Well sure; it was a rumor."

"It's more than a rumor," Naru replied, kicking her legs up inappropriately on the windowsill. She rubbed the top of the elderly woman's hand with her thumb. "I wonder what advice you would have?" Tsunade led/ordered everyone out so that the lady could continue to rest, but Naru just didn't want to leave her there. Being alone sucked. It had sucked in her first life, it had probably sucked in her present early life that she was unable to remember, and it sucked in her big house with Kakashi being out on a mission now.

Pressing the woman's hand between her own, she whispered a prayer and inadvertently leaked her/their chakra into her. She flinched, drawing back when alarms began going off.

"Naruto! What did you do?"

"I don't know!"

"You gave her our chakra!"

"I did? Oh, fuck: sorry! Did I hurt her?!"

The woman's eyes blinked open and Sakura almost fell down. "Is… someone there?" she seemed to ask in a broken whisper.

Naru rushed back to hold her hand while Tsunade began running a diagnostic. Shizune, fortunately, took over the role of caregiver: something that she was most suited for.

"Sarutobi-sama, we are so glad you are awake!"

"I just want to say goodbye," the old woman choked out.

"No," Naruto said, wanting to help her. She had been strangely drawn to her ever since she found the woman in her grandmother's care. Her grandmother, however, pushed her and Sakura out of the room. She even ordered her to go home!

"Wh- who is that, Sakura?"

"I'm not allowed to say, Naruto. You'd better do as asked; it's important."

"I've been waiting for you," Minato greeted his student outside of the village that evening. It had been a hell of a day. "Did everything go alright?"

"Hai. Just eager to get home," Kakashi said, longing for a shower and to collapse on his wife in bed. Or in his wife on the bed: either way. He noticed his sensei's eye begin to twitch when he realized what his minions were reading, and pulled out his own matching Icha-Icha to hide behind.

Surely it would shield him from an evil, overpowered leader - as it had his men.

Minato's glare let up. "So when does Naru leave?"

Kakashi lowered his book a fraction. "I'll be the one to guard her, ne?"

"Hai, hai," Minato rolled his eyes. "As long as A-sama agrees to me taking you both there."

"I left a marker on the Lightning border," Kakashi replied and handed the Hokage the relevant paperwork and passes required for entry into an unallied country. "We'll have to trek to Kumo from there. One of their jinchuurikis is a real trip."

"You have no idea," Minato muttered but was clearly heard as he led Kakashi toward the village. "You're early. I promised Naruto that I'd let her know when you got back. She's been working MUCH too hard: she looks terrible, so I ordered her to go have fun."

Minato wanted to laugh at the way Kakashi glared at him, so he did. "She's fine. I had to throw her to Gai-kun - or throw Gai-kun at her. I was watching from a discrete distance only moments ago. Feel free to join her," he added with a wink that was directed to the entire team. "Just do me a favor and hide your chakra. Shouldn't be too much of a problem considering how many of them there are. See you after you check in with the guards. Ja!"

He flashed away.

Kakashi, oddly enough, found the Hokage on a rooftop outside of a large civilian-owned club called the Imaginarium, watching as what had to be more than half of the active-duty kunoichi in the village danced up a storm. The rest of the room was filled well-past capacity, but he easily spotted Naru's bright hair flying up toward a disco ball that was positioned in the center of the club. "Who's she …dancing with?" he said, sighing the last words because it was obvious.

"Gai-kun."

Kakashi looked back and forth between Minato, who was staying with him in the dark, and the crowd a few times. "Maa, that's not dancing." No: Gai was bouncing off the walls and ceiling using taijutsu while he occasionally swiped at his dance partner to keep her from bolting. He could feel the irritation in Naruto's otherwise bouncy chakra.

Kakashi had to give Gai credit for not crash-landing on anyone but also decided to get him for the way he was corralling his little wife.

He smiled, his heart speeding up when he realized that she must've sensed him because Gai was hastily thrown through a wall, and the blonde of Naru's hair was bouncing up and down as she made her way toward him through the crowd. As soon as she was clear of most, she smiled up at him brilliantly before looking toward her father.

"Damn you, old man," she hissed at him, shaking her fist. She began to jump toward them, then hesitated, giving them a quick hand seal. "Observe." She looked nervous and the Hokage had been right: Naru-chan had dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm really beginning to get a complex about that little nickname she's gifted me," Minato whispered.

The Barrier Division Commander stumbled out of the alley next to the club. "C'mon baby," Jonin Yamada drunkenly catcalled her. "I see you finally lost that... shithead you were with."

Minato grabbed Kakashi's shoulder and forced him to stay in place so that he could watch what would happen. He KNEW something was wrong in that department!

Naruto glared at Captain Creep, jerking her hand away from him. She was so DONE with this guy! "I thought I told you I wasn't interested in you, asswipe. I'm a married woman!"

"I'm your superior, demon slut," he derided - but not in a low enough voice. The hand that he intended to slap her with was held in place and broken by Kakashi as Yamada screamed. Kakashi only got a few more quick hits on him before Yamada vanished with her father.

"Sorry," Naru said awkwardly, pulling into herself. "I'm so glad to see that you're here and okay," she quickly added, her hands held in front of her heart as she tried to convey how true that was. "I… wanted to hurt him, but he's my superior, ya know. And I'm so, so glad you're here - but I wasn't sure Tou-san would believe me about him, and seriously it's not like I would expect you to…"

"Shhhhh." Kakashi clutched her to his chest and breathed in her scent. She was all sweaty, but underneath the others was her scent, and he was a dirty mess. They could quickly fix that up soon enough. "I'm glad to be home," he sighed into her hair before she could say anything else, sunshinning them to their place. "Never apologize for allowing me to do my job as your mate."

And wow: did Kakashi ever do his job and complete his self-assigned mission as her mate that night. And the next morning.

"Kakashi, I need to tell you something," Minato said the following afternoon. When Kakashi put his smut away, Minato sighed and sat down behind his desk, activating a new privacy seal. "I've thought about keeping this from you, but it's too important. If you run into this Madara fraud, I don't want you to freeze up."

Kakashi crossed his arms over his chest. It had been a long, long time since he had frozen up. "I'm not a pup anymore, sensei," he said dryly.

Minato nodded while threading his fingers together and flexing them a few times until he realized he was doing it. "The man in the orange mask's Sharingan also has the Kamui ability."

"'Kamui?' Does that sound familiar to you? It's a little-known ability of the Sharingan, only accessible to one set of eyes in every several generations, they say."

Kakashi's stomach turned and he was forced to swallow hard. He didn't realize that he'd begun to tap his weapons pouch. "Unless he's even more of an ancient fucker than he claims to be," he growled, "that means he stole Obito's other eye."

Minato absently bobbed his head, unsurprised that his student was so quick on the uptake before - again - realizing he was doing it. "Does it?"

Kakashi felt like time stopped. He took a step backward, then another, bumping into the wall behind him. He narrowed his eyes, desperately wanting to believe that he had not understood what his sensei was implying. "You're mistaken."

"You have to agree that it is a possibility," Minato said.

He's not joking.

"You're not the only one who analyzes jutsus, Kakashi, and I… sensed his chakra."

Knowing he was reeling and beyond furious, Kakashi jumped out of the window, forcibly controlling his breathing and not sure of where he was going. As he headed toward the Barrier Division, he turned suddenly, deciding to see if Tenzo or Gai were available for a spar. Changing direction once more, he stopped by the Missions office.

Sure, Minato-sensei was a sensor, but he wasn't THAT kind of sensor.

"Here for a regular mission?" The Chunin was surprised because he was positive that Hatake had gone back to ANBU to work directly for the Hokage.

"No, I'm here to pay for one," Kakashi explained. "I need to hire a team to excavate and investigate what remains of the original Kanabi Bridge. I want the remains of my teammate to finally be brought home." The Chunin stared at him in disbelief, making him uncomfortable. "Maa, you're right. I should've done this a long time ago."