"Report, Mr. Spock," said Jim, striding onto the Bridge. His eyes snapped up to the viewscreen, where a long, greenish ship hung in the air ominously.

"The Klingons' cloak just went down moments ago," Spock replied, walking from the engineering section to the science station. He peered into the device that showed the sensor readings. "Their ship is located approximately 678 kilometers from the Enterprise. A rough estimate, of course."

"Of course," Jim agreed. He sat down in his chair and sighed, glaring at the ship and tapping his fingers on the armrest. "Do we know what they want? Have they made any threats? Demands? Have they contacted us whatsoever?"

"Negative, Captain. They're just sitting there."

Jim nodded, his brow furrowing. "They're waiting. But for what?"

"I'm afraid I do not know, Captain. Perhaps-"

"I'm terribly sorry, but, um… what's going on?" Smith—or as he's otherwise known, the Doctor—interjected. All the heads on the Bridge swiveled toward him and his group. Chekov from navigation and Uhura from communications immediately frowned, their faces darkening to looks of annoyance and irritation.

"Not right now," Jim said curtly, holding up a finger, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"But-"

"Not right now,"

"But-"

"Ens-... Doctor, if you do not cease talking right now, I shall have you removed from my bridge."

"Told you," Jack muttered, punching Doctor in the arm and glaring at him venomously. Smith just glared back and rubbed his arm.

"Oh will you just-" Doctor started to protest.

"Captain! Incoming message," said Uhura, her voice loud and slightly tinged with annoyance. Doctor shut his mouth and pursed his lips, choosing not to voice his thought.

Jim stiffened in his chair. "Play it."

The large ship on the screen was quickly replaced by a tall, sharp-toothed Klingon general, staring menacingly into the bridge. Two other Klingon warriors stood next to him, restraining and holding a large disruptor to the head of a woman. She was obviously an inhabitant of Centauria III, her smooth, scaly skin and wide-set eyes contrasting with the Klingon's rough cranial ridges and large noses. She was tall and lanky, had a long, boxy face, and her mouth was wide and stretched in fright.

The entire bridge crew stiffened.

"USS. Enterprise. Captain Kirk," the Klingon warrior said in a low, gravelly voice, inclining his head slightly. "My name is K'vok, General of the Klingon empire. Greetings."

Kirk grit his teeth and his eyes narrowed as K'vok waited for a response. Several seconds went by as Jim Kirk stared him down, hatred behind his eyes.

Seeing as he would get no response from the Captain, the general cleared his throat and continued. "As you can see here, Miss Yyn-Tarvæna, a respected diplomat from the surface of Centuria III, is currently a…" he smiled and gestured at the helpless woman, "Guest… of the Klingon Empire. We wish for her stay with us to remain as comfortable as possible. I certainly hope you wont make that too difficult for us."

K'vok twitched his hand slightly and the two soldiers tightened their grip on her arms, pressing another disruptor into her side for emphasis. Yyn-Tarvæna gasped and tried to flinch away from the weapons, but the warriors held her still.

Kirk's eyes desperately flickered from the general, to the captive, to the disruptors, then back at the general.

A hostage situation, Jim thought darkly, pursing his dry lips. One wrong move and it's all over. The murder of a citizen of a Starfleet registered and protected planet is enough to start a war. We have to tread carefully.

Jim sat up straighter, his eyes locked on the Klingons decisively. "We d-"

"I'm sorry, what's happening?" Rose called from the back, interrupting the tense situation.

Jack groaned and looked like he wanted to punch his female partner as well. "Don't interrupt."

"She doesn't look like she's a guest at all!" Doctor said incredulously, gesturing vigorously at the woman with his hands. Rose nodded like she agreed.

Jim turned around in his chair and snapped, "I highly suggest you three-"

"Don't group me with them! Whatever they do I'm not a part of it!" Jack said defensively, taking a large step away from Rose and Smith.

The Klingon general, now looking a bit put-off, tried to speak again, only to be cut off by the Doctor.

"I think she's been kidnapped! She's a hostage!"

"What?" Rose said, her eyebrows shooting up. She turned to the captain, and then glanced at the screen. "Is that what's going on? Is she a hostage? Did you take her hostage?!"

The Klingon blinked. "Yes… that is what we were implying."

Jim glowered at them. "You three really need to-"

"Well that's just cruel! And hateful!" Rose protested shrilly.

"Not to mention barbaric," the Doctor added. Jack looked like he wanted to disappear. He took another step away from them.

Rose turned to Jim, hands on her hips. "Why aren't you saving her then?"
Jim clenched his hands. "We are trying to negotiate-"

"Don't negotiate! If you negotiate she'll die!" Rose cried, aghast. "Get your weapons, barge in there, and rescue her! You have the magic teleporter things! And your laser guns! It can't be that hard!"

"Is that a threat?" the Klingon asked, evidently confused.

"No!" Jim said quickly. He shot Rose a death glare that made her falter a bit before rapidly turning back to the general. "No! No! Of course not! Not at all!"

"I suggest you learn to control your subordinates, Captain," K'vok growled, his eyes narrowing. He focused on Rose, and she gulped.

Jim stiffened again, giving K'vok his full attention. "We don't intend any harm. Perhaps-"

"You humans never do. But you inflict it all the same," he said, a mocking smile dancing on his lips.

Jim frowned, keeping his composure. His blood was boiling. "I highly doubt that-"

"That's not a very nice thing to say about humans!" Doctor said, frowning.

"Yeah!" Rose piped in.

"No. Don't… don't do that," Jack tried to say, but realized it was futile and sighed and sank to the floor, putting his head in his hands.

"I think humans are rather nice," Doctor argued, staring at the Klingon defiantly.

"It's true! We are!" Rose beamed. "Well, for the most part, I mean."

"You, on the other hand," said Doctor, raising an eyebrow at K'vok, "do not seem nice."

"You dare insult me?!" K'vok roared, his patience spent. "While I have a hostage?"

"She is a hostage! He called it." Rose shouted triumphantly, pointing at Doctor.

"It's true. I did. I mean I- ow!"

Jack had punched his foot from the floor.

"The next person who speaks who isn't me or the general is getting shoved into an airlock!" Jim hissed. He turned to the angered Klingon once more. "My sincerest apologies, General. I assure you that we mean no-"

"I have never seen a ship or a crew more mismanaged than yours, Kirk," K'vok spat. "You have an hour. Leave Centuria III, do not return, and we shall release the diplomat. If we see you have not left when the hour is up, she dies. Slowly."

The transmission ended. The screen went black.

The bridge was dead silent.

"What is wrong with you?" Kirk stuttered, craning his head around to look at the three dissidents. Jack stood up. He turned his chair so hard around that he smashed his knee into the rail behind him, but he ignored it. He scrambled out of his chair and stood in front of them, his mouth agape and his mind running in circles like an empty record.

"Um, okay. Yeah. I'll be the first to admit, that could have gone better," Doctor said reluctantly.

"That's an understatement," Jack muttered, rolling his eyes hard and taking another step away from his companions, so far away now that he was closer to Uhura at the communications desk then he was to Rose and the Doctor.

"I thought it went fine," Rose said at the same time and genuinely looked like she meant it.

"But in my defense," Doctor said quickly, "you didn't tell us what was going on. So I had to ask. I wouldn't have had to ask if you had just told me what was going on, because I didn't know what was going on, so I had to ask. Because I didn't know. And I needed to know. So I asked. You see-"

Kirk spluttered. He opened his mouth and moved his arms around violently. He stopped a moment, closed his mouth, pursed his lips, moved his arms around again, and opened his mouth again, which he shut once more. He whirled to face the other direction, gave a loud guttural growl of frustration and disappeared into his ready room.

A moment of shocked silence fell on the room.

"Enough," Uhura said to Doctor, seeing that his mouth was open.

"But-"

"Enough. No more from you," said Uhura levelly. She pointed her finger in his face. "I have had just about enough from all of you."

"What did I do?" Jack whined.

"You hit on her," Sulu piped up. "That's a big no-no here."

"You did what?" Rose asked incredulously.

"I- uh, I- um..." Jack's face grew beet red. "I did not…"

"I can confirm that you did," said Spock. "And then Lieutenant Uhura retaliated by striking you across your face. It was very well deserved, in my opinion."

"What?" Rose said, her eyebrows raising and her mouth twitching. "That's how you got that bruise?"
"She's a very attractive pole," Doctor commented.

"I said enough!" Uhura snapped. Everyone went silent. "First, you snuck aboard our ship. Illegally, I might add. Second-"
"Hang on, now, We didn't-"

"No. I am talking. You are not talking. Understand?" she growled lowly, stepping forward so her finger was just a centimeter from his nose.

"I-"

"Don't answer. Shut your mouth, and nod if you understand. Good? Good," she said evenly, dangerously, her eyes unblinking. "Second, you impersonated members of our crew. Third, you stole from us. Fourth, you completely botched a simple medical drop. You have constantly not only disrespected our ship and our crew, but our captain."

After looking around at the three's astonished faces, she continued. "And now, you intervened during a hostage situation. Do you have an idea how serious this is?"

"Well, it's not really-"

"I said no talking."

"But you just asked me-"

"You and your colleagues have broken more laws than I have bothered to keep track of! Lives could have been lost because of your foolishness! And now that hostage might lose her life too! Do you have any idea how dangerous an angered Klingon is? Do you?" Uhura fumed, curling back her lip to reveal white teeth. "Her blood will be on your hands. Do you have any idea what that's like? To be responsible for a life? To be responsible for someone dying?"

Doctor's face grew dark and his jaw clenched. He stayed silent, however.

"So," she said, her tone almost sing-song-like. She removed her finger from the Doctor's face. "You broke our laws. You disrespected us. And now you may be responsible for someone's death," Uhura said hotly. "Am I missing anything?"

Rose looked thoughtful. "I mean, probably, yeah. We also-"

"Nope! That's all!" Jack intervened, clapping his hand over her mouth. "You got everything! Great job!"

"Good," Uhura finished. She quietly walked over and sat back at her station.

The entire room was quiet.

The silence was broken by loud clapping from the navigation table. "Yay, Uhuwra! You go! Deztrwoy zem!"

"Yes," Kirk said slowly, emerging from his ready room. "Thank you, Uhura. And, uh, that's enough cheering, Chekov."

Kirk turned to the three. "Unfortunately, we have bigger problems to deal with now then punishing you. We'll have to put our differences aside for the time being."

"But Captain, they-"

"Thank you for your concern, Uhura. Your complaints are duly noted. But they can wait." Jim crossed his arms and stepped closer to the screen. "We need to deal with these Klingons; rescue the hostage. Perhaps we could beam unto the ship. Mr. Spock?"

"Negative, Captain," Spock responded. "Their shields are fully functional. Any attempt to teleport would not be successful. Similarly, the Klingons would no doubt terminate any attempt to go by shuttlecraft."

"So we're stuck here?"

"It would appear so, Captain."

"Perhaps-"

"If I may-" spoke Doctor.

The bridge crew groaned and muttered collectively.

"No!" Uhura said.

"You don't get to talk," Kirk said, rubbing at his temples.

"But I think I have something that could help."

"I don't zink anybody 'ere wants your elp!" Chekov spat.

"Agreed," Sulu nodded.

"But-"

"Quiet!" Chekov, Sulu, and Uhura shouted at once.

"Wait. He might have a point," Jack said slowly. A few people shot him wary looks but didn't object to him speaking. Jack and the Doctor traded a look.

"The TARDIS?" Jack asked slowly.

"One and only." said Doctor.

"You can fix her in time?"

"She's already fixed. She only needed an hour after to sit after I fixed her," Doctor shrugged. "There weren't any clocks in the brig, but I think it's safe to say an hour has passed."

"You're finally saying something that's not completely stupid."

"Thank y- hey!"

"What are you talking about?" Jim sighed, exhaustion showing in his face.

"Ladies and gentlemen," said Jack, grinning proudly and turning to face the Enterprise crew, "I think we have a solution to your problem."

Jim traded doubtful glances with the others before looking back at Jack skeptically. "And what would that be?"

The Doctor slid the key into the TARDIS' wooden blue door, twisted it, and opened it. He stepped inside the blue box, a wide grin upon his features. Jim Kirk's mouth fell open. He remembered from earlier when all of the engineering crew were unable to force it open. This man was able to unlock that impenetrable box with just a key?

"Home sweet home!" Doctor smiled and vanished inside the telephone box.

After a moment's hesitation, Kirk stepped into the box after him.

Kirk stepped out of the box.

He looked around the box. He looked back inside it.

He cautiously stepped inside and looked around, eyes wide, and stepped backwards so he was outside of it again. He tapped the side of the box and looked surprised to find it solid.

The small blue box was about the size of a turbolift, but when he entered it, it was the size of the entire Bridge. A glowing control center stood in the middle, and tree-like branches decorated the outside edge of the circular room. The machines blipped and chirped just as they did in the Enterprise. On the outside of the box, it was blue and wooden and seemingly ordinary.

His mouth hung open.

"What the-"