My dear little broccolis💚💚💚

💚 From Duty To Love 💚

"I have married this man without ever expecting much from this union. But can I expect anything from him now that I am his wife?"

‼️Rated M - {Out Of Characters/All Human/Alternate Universe}‼️

‼️Romance/Family/Drama/Lemons‼️

‼️Bellward/Alice Williams/Tanya Denali/The Cullens/The Swans/Original Characters‼️

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

Chapter 1: Unknown Strength (3.7K)

Bella's PoV

I wake as the sun still isn't up, with my throat aching and my body hurting. It takes me several minutes to open my eyes, and even more to sit up, ignoring the way my body protests against it. For a little while, I am slightly disoriented, unsure of what is happening. But then I recall, I was at the park with the girls and Georgina ran after her ball … Slowly, I bring my hand to my stomach, but I already know. I remember without a doubt how the hoof of the horse pinned me to the floor.

I swallow with difficulty before struggling to get up. I am thirsty as if I had been in the desert with Moses for forty years. So I grab my robe, briefly wondering who dressed me in my nightgown and I try to make my way to the kitchen, my legs wobbling as I do my best to support my weight against the wall.

It is slightly frightening that it seems I don't know how to walk anymore, and I hope that it is only because I just woke up, and not because I may lose my ability to walk on my own. I have never met someone in a wheelchair before, but I can imagine that it is a difficult situation.

When I get to the stairs, I highly reconsider my thirst. Taking down those stairs seems like the most dangerous endeavour I have ever done in my life. But my throat is dry and it actually hurts to swallow, so I tightly grip the balustrade, praying with all my heart that I will make it down the stairs in one piece.

But of course, after two steps, I miss the next one and tumble down the rest of the stairs. Again. It seems that this is my latest fashion to fall down the stairs instead of walking them down like any other normal person.

As I struggle to get up, Mr Banner appears in my vision, to my greatest embarrassment. I would have rather have no witness to my humiliation. Especially since I am not dressed in a way that is appropriate to be seen.

Mrs Cooper comes behind Mr Banner, holding her robe close against her chest as she raises her candle up and before I can pretend that I am fine and just clumsy, she tells Mr Banner to bring me back up. I open my mouth to protest, not comfortable at the idea of being picked up like a child, but Mrs Cooper firmly shakes her head, adding that she will be up in a moment with water and some light soup.

Mr Banner picks me up, as if I am simply a rag doll, and once in my room, I blush, fully aware of how inappropriate this is. Both Mr Banner and I are in our nightwear, and he has no business being in my room, whether it is day or night, unless he is working on changing the furniture. Which, obviously, isn't the case.

As we pass Edward's door, I glance at it but don't comment. I wonder if he is even home. Or maybe he is in his office, burning the midnight oil and trying to find a way to blame me for everything wrong in his life.

Once he puts me in my bed, Mr Banner lights the lamps by my bed and he asks me, "Shall I wake Mr Cullen to let him know that you are awake?"

I shake my head, highly doubting that Mr Cullen wants to know anything about me. Maybe he's even disappointed that the horse didn't do its job right and I survived the whole affair. If he had been a widower, things would have been much simpler for him. He wouldn't have to keep on living with his worst mistake.

Mr Banner nods and leaves my room, closing the door behind him and I just sit on my bed, looking at the wardrobe still hoarding my precious luggage. Maybe I could still leave for San Francisco when the new year comes, even if that means saying goodbye to my family forever.

Mrs Cooper comes fifteen minutes later with a tray. I happily gulp two glasses of water before even looking at her soup as she informs me that Mr Banner went to fetch a doctor.

As I slowly eat her soup, I watch her fuss around me, noticing that she doesn't look at me on purpose. I also see by my bedside books that I have never seen before, but I don't really care about it. I just let them be. Mrs Cooper leaves me under the pretext that she needs to dress and I finish my soup in silence, still holding on to that ridiculously tiny hope that I might be wrong.

Half an hour later, I hear Edward's irritated voice in the corridor, making me look at the clock. It is shortly after six so it is no surprise that he is up. But he must be annoyed that Mr Banner went to get Dr Cassidy for me. After all, he did say he wouldn't spend a dime on us.

But what he says is not what I expected. His tone is even accusatory, "Where is Alice?"

"Mrs Parker went into labour in the night. She was called," Dr Cassidy calmly explains before knocking on my door and entering the room. He closes the door behind him and smiles as he puts his bag at the foot of my bed and lets me know,

"It is good to see your eyes, Mrs Cullen. You gave us such a fright." I open my mouth to apologise, but he shakes his head. "Let me just check first that everything is as it should be."

I let him look at my eyes, my head, my ears and my throat. He asks me to cough a couple of times, which does hurt my chest, but I don't say anything. Dr Cassidy always assumes I can't handle pain because I am a weak woman.

"Can you tell me who you are?"

"Isabella Cullen," I tell him, realising that I am speaking for the first time and my voice is awful. I sound raspy and unwelcoming.

"And where are you?"

"In my husband's house."

"Good. And do you know who I am?"

"Doctor Cassidy."

He nods with approval and then he starts touching my ribs, asking how much it hurts. I pale when he presses a bit harder at some places, but I do my best to stay brave.

"Mr Banner told me that you fell down the stairs when you woke up. Did you hurt yourself?"

I shake my head, and he nods again, taking a needle out of his bag and revealing my feet so he can poke at them. I startle at the pain, but he seems satisfied, and so I ask him, "Am I going to walk again?"

"Of course. You were in bed for a week, Mrs Cullen. It happens to soldiers as well, the body forgets how to function properly after a long period of inertia, it seems. I suggest that you just walk around your room for the next couple of days, to trigger the memory to your body. That way, we will avoid you actually hurting yourself taking the stairs."

I acquiesce and he seems finished with his examination. He didn't mention my baby. Is it because he doesn't know, or is it because he knows? I swallow with difficulty, swallowing my tears as I tell him in a soft whisper, "Doctor … I … What about my baby?"

He looks at me, his stern face briefly showing the empathy I didn't want to see. He doesn't have to say anything. I can see the answer on his face.

"Given the condition you were brought in, I am afraid I have to tell you that your child was not as lucky as you."

I nod, my lips trembling as I do my best not to cry. Dr Cassidy reaches for his bag and takes out a small jar of medicine that he puts on my bedside, explaining,

"Every morning, take a teaspoon of that in your water. For three months. It will prevent another pregnancy. Every morning. Your body needs time to recover and another pregnancy so soon might result in another miscarriage."

I numbly nod, my brain gone as the ache in my heart replaces everything. I barely see him leave the room, I barely hear Edward's muffled voice in the corridor speak with the doctor, I just feel the pain. I will never get to hold my baby. That sweet little child that we made will never be because I was not careful enough. Edward must be happy. He won't have to keep calling us names. The 'bastard' is gone. This is what he wanted. I should have ignored him and gone to the hospital when I wasn't feeling well instead of finding convoluted ways to get a doctor.

I lay back on my bed, finally allowing myself to cry as I wrap my arms around myself. My baby is dead. I will never see my child grow, smile and cry. I will never get to be proud of whatever accomplishment they would have achieved. But at least, I will never have to explain to my baby that their father hated them and insulted them before they were even born.

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

I don't move for the rest of the day, just laying on the bed on my side, looking at the rain through the window and wondering why I survived when my child didn't. Mrs Cooper came with some lunch, but I wasn't hungry, no matter how much she insisted.

I only moved to do three lapses of my room and when I felt blood between my thighs. If I didn't want to believe Dr Cassidy, here was my proof. I only put on the adequate garments and go back to bed, looking blindly at the window. Even the pain of my cycle, which are actually worse than before, don't compare to the pain of my heart.

It just hurts so much, to think I was so close to having this child I have always wanted, and to know I will never meet them. It hurts knowing that Edward is out there, rejoicing of the news in his office. It hurts to think I feel I'm being punished for all my wrongs, and that my baby was the one to pay for my misdeeds. And it hurts to know that this was probably the only chance I would have ever had a child.

Edward made it obvious that he didn't want children, and he is going to keep retrieving and keep accusing me of being a … whore if I ever have the misfortune of being pregnant again. How I wish he had never asked for my hand, and I had ended up an old maid. I wouldn't feel so miserable if he had left me alone.

In the late afternoon, someone knocks on my door and comes in without waiting for me to speak. I turn and see Alice who is looking at me with sympathy. I try to gather myself, but she rolls her eyes and sits on the side of my bed, asking if she can examine me as well.

I shrug and she does the same thing Dr Cassidy did this morning, though she tries to cheer me up at the same time. She tells me about the girls at the orphanage asking for me, she tells me about the Reverend feeling overrun by the girls, she tells me about the town folks holding auctions to recreate the Nativity scene for Christmas that is in less than three weeks.

She also asks me about the fall, her worry going to my head first when I tell her about my dizziness. She asks a few questions about my cramps and their level of pain but doesn't comment on it. I guess she's just being more thorough than Dr Cassidy because he has forced her in a way to only deal with those issues. And because she knew about the stairs. It seems the older doctor didn't know about that.

"Do you think I lost my baby because of the fall?"

She longly looks at me, before shaking her head and strongly assuring me. "It looks like it was the accident that caused it, not the fall."

When she is done, I look down on my knees and she takes me in her arms, whispering in my ear, "I know it hurts, but you will get through this. It is more common than you think. You're not the first woman in this town to suffer through this, and unfortunately, you won't be the last one."

I nod, though I am surprised. I didn't realise that many other women lost their babies before they were born. I thought it was an oddity. After all, women had babies from the dawn of times, no one mentions that they lose them as well. I don't recall any of my aunts losing a child whilst pregnant.

"Have you seen Edward?" She asks, and any comforting feeling she brought disappears in an instant. She gently caresses my face, and she tells me, "He is really worried about you. He's been by your bedside the whole week."

I politely smile to her, wondering what kind of game Edward is playing, and I apologise to Alice, "I am very sorry, Alice. But I don't feel particularly well. I feel very rude, but I would like to rest now."

"Of course. Don't forget to take your medicine in the morning," She reminds me, touching the bottle Dr Cassidy has given me. I nod as a promise and she adds, "Do you want me to come back tomorrow?"

"I will be alright, Alice. Don't worry about me. I know you have patients that actually require your attention."

I watch her leave before going back to my initial position. The sun has long set, and in all honesty, I am not actually tired, just drained. Still, I hear Alice talk to Edward by my door. It seems that Edward likes to trap my doctors as soon as they leave my room.

I barely pay attention to what they say, but I still hear Alice tell him, "I'm going to tell you what I told her. It's the horses, Edward."

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

For the rest of the week, I don't leave my room. I barely leave my bed to walk my fifteen minutes in my room before laying back and blindly looking at the window. I didn't cry any other day. It seems I have no more tears. And I have been sleeping awfully. I keep having nightmares that wake me up in the middle of the night.

Every morning, Mrs Cooper comes in with a breakfast that she forces me to eat since I don't eat for the rest of the day. There is always a single red rose on the tray that she probably adds for a bit of colour.

Edward has had delivered extravagant bouquets of flowers every day, and every day I told Mrs Cooper to have them sent to the orphanage. I am sure the girls never receive any flowers, and they will appreciate them more than me.

I also asked Mrs Cooper to put the books back in the library since I know I won't read them. I just don't feel like doing anything but cry, and I can't even do that. It's like my body refuses to let me out my pain. So I just lay on the bed all day long. Looking at the window and wondering if this ache will ever go away.

On Friday at lunch, Mrs Cooper forces me to leave the room, saying that she needs to change the sheets since my cycle is done. She also threatens me to not let me back in my room if I don't have a decent meal, so I go to the dining room, surprised when I find Edward there. He's only come home for lunch once, and we all know that this did not end well.

I politely nod my head to him, ignoring the fifteen red roses at the centre of the table and the necklace with earrings waiting for me on my side of the bed. I just sit and serve myself some peas and potatoes to go with the sole Mrs Cooper cooked.

For a little while, we eat in silence, until Edward starts talking, "Isabella … darling —"

I glare at him, obfuscated that he thinks he can still call me that. How dare he? He called me a whore not even a week ago, he called our child a bastard with a harlot mother, and now, now that he got what he wanted, he wants to call me darling as if we were intimate?!

"You have lost the right to call me that when you called me a whore, Mr Cullen." I calmly tell him, not even looking at him. He doesn't say anything, and I keep forcing the food down my throat, glad that the matter is closed.

But then, he gets up and walks to my side, kneeling as he reaches for my hand to make me look at him, "Please, let me ap—"

I snatch my hands away from him, "Let you? I already let you. I let you call me names. I let you call our child names. I let you refuse to be the father you were supposed to be. And now, our baby is dead!

You always bring our vows to me, as if I was seconds away from breaking them. But in truth, you're the one who broke them. I'm a whore, remember. You can't love a whore. You can't cherish a whore. You can't have faith in a whore. And you certainly can't hold a whore through sickness."

I promptly get up, ready to leave, and Edward tries to plead, calling out to me again,

"Isabella …"

"Since it's the only respect I will ever get from you, it's Mrs Cullen to you, now."

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

The cheek of this man. How dare he call me darling, and pretend as if he did not insult our unborn child, treating them as if they were vermin? it's all I could think of all day long. I have done a good job not thinking of Edward since Monday, I was too wrapped in my pain, but now … I am so … angry.

He thinks he can just buy me flowers and jewels and I will forget all about the awful things he has told me? About the fact that he never even trusted me. So many times I have claimed my innocence and asked him to go to the room so he could see for himself, but he knew better.

Does he feel bad because he feels responsible since he refused for Dr Cassidy to come to me? Or does he feel bad because he finally understood that I was a faithful wife and I was pregnant with his child? Or maybe he just feels bad because it would look bad if we suddenly became cold toward one another in society.

I still have my luggage ready, and I could still leave. He leaves for New York in just a month, and I can still pretend I want to see my parents, and then go to San Francisco. But then again, I was leaving for a child that will never be. Maybe I should just wait and see. And I need to post my letter anyway.

I suddenly freeze, going through the purse I had on the day of the accident. I know I didn't post the letter yet. But it's not in my purse anymore. Did I lose it in the accident? I am going to have to make another one and go to the orphanage for that letter I asked.

With a sigh, I resume the position I had all week, barely aware of the time passing as I curse Edward for making me feel anything other than my grief. My eyes are locked on the window when I hear him knock on my door. Of course, he does, it's Friday.

I ignore him, and after two other knocks, he opens the door. I don't turn but I do make sure to remind him, "I don't recall giving you permission to come into my room."

"No matter how angry you are at me, this is still my home, Isabella," He admonishes me, making me grind my teeth. I asked one thing, one little thing, for him to respect me and call me by my last name. But Edward Cullen will always do as he wishes. Just like he refused me children, he's refusing me this simple thing I've asked. I don't matter to him.

And that's why I turn to lay on my back and push the cover away from me, revealing my nightgown. I bring my knees up and open my legs as I blankly tell him, "You are right. This is your home, Mr Cullen. You can use me like the whore you think I am. I'm ready."

I look at the ceiling, waiting for him to come in and do his due diligence, but he never does. He leaves my room, closing the door silently before stomping away to his room and slamming it shut.

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.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

💚 Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed 💚

💚 Well, it seemed obvious to me that there was going to be another part. It was just the end of part one, haha. But now, what did you think of this first chapter? And of Bella who is angry and grieving?

💚Well, let me know what you thought of this chapter. What was your favourite part? What do you think will happen next?

‼️ Anyway, Stephanie Meyer owns the names of the characters from the Twilight franchise, everything else is mine (including the mistakes and grammar errors)‼️

Love, Mina 💚💚💚