Hello fellow nerds. We are aware that we told you last update that this would be our last addition to the fanfiction apart from the epilogue. Sike! Never trust a writer. We will have a part three coming soon, as this is part two. Have a fantastic day. We will still have an epilogue. Do not worry. Thank you for reading!

-I am very, very sorry (IdenticalSnowflakes)

-I am not. (LogicalVulcan)

"Hello gentlemen!" sang the Doctor, jumping out of the corner. The Kllingons swiveled to face him, raising their disruptors. The Doctor grinned and seized Chekov's wrists, yanking him out of his hiding spot. "My companion and I are here to assist with the hostage situation!"

"Halt!" said the Klingon on the left, leveling his disruptor at the Doctor's chest.

The Doctor did not halt.

"We got sent here to help by… the boss… and he or she wants us to… to, um… assist in the hostage thingy. So!" Doctor smiled unconvincingly. "How can we help?"
"I am not with 'im!" Chekov said loudly, trying to scramble away. The Doctor gripped his wrist tighter as the young man tried to sprint away. His feet moved, but he had no traction on the slick floor. He ran as if he were on a treadmill. He cursed and tried to bite the Doctor. The Doctor smacked the top of his shaggy head as if he were a bad dog and turned back to the Klingons expectantly.

The Klingons blinked and their brows furrowed. "What is happening?"

"We're here to help? With the hostage?" Doctor clarified, speaking slower as if the Klingons were of a lower intelligence. "I mean, you've both been working so hard, upper management thought you could use a break! We're here to take over."

"Upper management?" said one, glancing at the other with a significant look.

"You are wearing a Starfleet uniform," said the other bluntly.

"These? No, no, no, no, no, no! These are my pajamas," Doctor said, nodding and looking down at his blood-red uniform, the Starfleet insignia a noticeable yellow next to the bright color. He pursed his lips and cleared his throat. "So! We'll just take her off your hands and-"

The Doctor took a step forward—dragging a protesting Chekov behind him—only to be stopped by both disruptors pressed directly against his skull.

"Freeze!"

"You're a Starfleet officer!"

"Me? Starfleet? Me? You think I'm with Starfleet? Me? Really?" the Doctor said, frozen, his voice getting higher pitched with each word. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."

"Are we going to die?" asked the hostage suddenly. She was only a few centimeters away from the force-field at the entrance of her cell, her long, boxy face was pulled into an expression that appeared to be a combination of curiosity and panic.

"Pwrobably," Chekov sighed, his arms going limp as he gave up trying to escape.

"If you'll just look right here," Doctor said, producing his psychic paper and waving it in front of their noses, accidentally hitting a disruptor in the process, "you'll see that everything in order. I'm one of you!"

"No, you're not," a Klingon grunted. He pressed the disruptor harder to his head.

"But the papers say-" started the other. His grip on his disruptor loosened.

"Don't be an imbecile. Look at him," the Klingon hissed to his partner. "He's wearing a Starfleet uniform!"

"Oh. But what if-"

"And he's obviously human."

"Oh, I see. So he's-"

"Actually I'm a Time Lord," interrupted the Doctor. "I mean, not that there's anything wrong with humans. I'm just-"

One of the Klingons whipped around and sucker punched the Doctor in the face. He fell to the floor, out cold. His physic paper fell by his hand, and his eyelids only half closed, giving him a possessed look.

"You killed 'im!" Chekov squealed, leaping backwards in disgust.

"He's not dead," grunted the Klingon, kicking the Doctor with his foot and frowning.

"Oh," said Chekov, his shoulders sagging. He sounded rather disappointed.

"You, on the other hand, are."

"Oh," said Checkov, his eyes widening. "Cwrap."

There was a quiet click as the Klingons began to pull the triggers on their disruptors. His eyes went wider and he took a small step back. "Uh… maybe ve can talk about zis? Becauze I 'ad nothzing to do vith 'im. I feel like I should clarify! I 'ad nothzing to do vith 'im! 'E iz an idiot!"

There was a resounding crack as the hostage—who had somehow freed herself during the commotion—swung a pipe torn from the wall and hit it against a Klingon's skull, sending him sprawling unconscious to the floor. The other Klingon jerked around and raised his disruptor. His back was towards Ensign Chekov. Chekov used that opportunity to throw his weight into the guard. He then hit him across the face and sent him falling gracelessly towards the ground to join his companion.

"Thanks," Chekov said breathlessly, smiling a bit at the hostage.

"No problem," she shrugged, tossing the pipe aside.

At that moment the Doctor began to stir.

"Oh. You," Chekov scowled.

"What did I miss?" Doctor asked, his words slurred together. He leaned on his elbows.

"Nothzing much. Nothzing impowrtant," Chekov deadpanned. "You know, except for zee fact zat I got zee 'ostage, defeated zee Klingons, and zat I'm going to keel you! But bezides zat, nothzing much."

"Oh, you got the hostage. Good," Doctor nodded, ignoring Chekov's threat. He squinted at Chekov. "Do you happen to have a twin by any chance?"

"No… vhy?"

"Because I'm seeing two of you. No, three! Oh, its two again. Can you stop moving please?"

"I… I am not moving…"

"Oh." Doctor frowned. "Am I moving?"

"I do not get paid enough fowr zis," Chekov sighed quietly.

"Please stop the floor from moving, I'd like to get off."

"Alwright. Up you go," grunted Chekov, hoisting the Doctor to his feet.

'Is he okay?" asked the hostage.

"'im? Oh, 'e's fine," Chekov shrugged. The Doctor was not fine, evidently shown as he began to sing 'Single Ladies' under his breath and giggling blissfully.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Chekov!" came a voice. Chekov whirled around, phaser in his hand. Doctor McCoy stood down the hall, looking as angry as ever. Jack stood behind him, looking mildly impressed at the Klingons unconscious on the floor.

"Hello, doctor," Chekov smiled, lowering his phaser.

"Hmm?" said Doctor sluggishly. The others ignored him.

"What in tarnation is going on here?!" said McCoy, gesturing at the Klingons on the ground.

"I fwreed the hostage," Chekov pointed behind him. Yyn-Tarvæna nodded respectfully and smiled. McCoy and Harkniss looked at her as if they hadn't seen she was there before.

"Correction, we freed the hostage," Doctor said gleefully, his words slurred. He was leaning on Chekov like a crutch.

"I have to be honest until the exact moment you spoke I thought you were dead," Jack said to the Doctor and sighed. "Great moment. Wish I could go back."

"What- who-" McCoy spluttered.

"Correction," the hostage said, "I saved myself. And you." She pointed at Chekov.

"I zink an awrgument can be made fowr fifty-fifty," Chekov said defensively. She gave him a skeptical look.

"I helped!" Doctor insisted, his eyes unfocused. He tried to flail his arms to make a point but ended up losing his balance. Chekov let go of him and let him fall to the ground.

"Will you come an' take 'i'm? Pwease!?" Chekov asked Harkniss, gesturing to the Doctor, who was now struggling to get to his feet from the ground.

"No."

"I hate to break up this little tea party chit-chat social gathering you all are having, but we have to go," McCoy snapped, craning his neck to survey the hallways around them.

"No need to be so grouchy," Doctor said sadly, sounding like a pouty child that accidentally dropped his ice cream cone on the floor.

"Grouchy?!" McCoy said furiously. His hands tightened on the medkit so hard that the plastic creaked.

"Was he like that the entire time you were together?" Doctor asked, looking at Jack.

"Pretty much, yeah," Jack shrugged.

"We need to leave!" McCoy barked loudly.

"Don't be so loud, you're going to alert the Klingons to our location!" the hostage hissed.

McCoy stared at Yyn-Tarvæna blankly, then at the Doctor, then Jack, and finally Chekov. He blinked slow. He took a deep breath that lasted several seconds. Slowly, deliberately, he set his medkit on the ground, walked over to the nearest wall, and bashed his head against it twice. He stopped and stared at the wall for thirty seconds, took another deep breath, turned back around and picked up his medkit.

Everyone looked at him, unsure how they were supposed to react.

"He's right, though. We probably should go," Jack said, recognizing that McCoy was about to blow a fuse.

"I'll call Keptin Kirk," said Chekov, flipping open his communicator.

Jack grabbed Doctor's arm, hoisted him to his feet, and began to half-carry half-drag him down the hall. He gave Doctor a sideways glance. "You okay?"

"Never better," he replied, obviously lying.

"Hey, cowboy!" Jack yelled, causing Doctor to wince and gaining the angry McCoy's attention.

"Shhh!" the hostage hissed. Chekov glared at them while telling the Captain their location.

"You're a doctor, right?" Jack asked McCoy, not bothering to lower his voice.

"I'm a doctor," Doctor whispered back, sounding hurt.

"No, no you are not," Jack responded.

"I'm the Doctor."

"You don't have a medical degree."

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"From when?"

"The early 1400's!"

"That doesn't count!" Jack scoffed.

"Does too!"

"That is in no way helpful here!"

"But it still counts as a medical license!"

"Does not!

"Does too!"

"Yes!" McCoy snapped, causing them to cease their argument. And just in time as well. Chekov looked dangerously close to throwing hands with both of them. "Yes, I am a doctor!"

"Is your license from thousands of years ago?" Jack asked, giving the delirious Doctor a scathing look.

McCoy scowled. "No, my license is up to date, thank you very much," he said, not sounding thankful at all. "Why?"

"Because you have a patient," Jack said, shoving the Doctor over to him. "Make sure he's not dead, will you? As annoying as he is, I need him to get home."

"Oh, sure," McCoy grunted, setting the Doctor onto the ground and crouching down. He opened up his medkit bitterly. "Now you listen to what I have to say. Now that I'm useful. Is that right?"

"Yep!" Jack said and looked over at Chekov.

"My brain hurts," Doctor whispered to McCoy.

"Wasn't aware you had one," McCoy said sarcastically, turning the tricorder on.

Doctor laughed. "Of course I have a brain! Everyone has a brain!"

"Coulda fooled me."

Doctor tilted his head and squinted as McCoy ran the instrument over his head. "You're not a very good doctor, are you?"

McCoy squeezed his eyes shut again and resisted the urge to strangle his patient.

"What's the status on the others?" Jack asked, walking up to Chekov. Chekov frowned at him as he clipped his communicator back onto his belt.

"Zhey're on zheir vay," he muttered.

"ETA?"

"Keptin and Meester Spock, ten minutes. Meester Scott and your nurse lady friend, seven minutes."

"You might want to tell them to just meet us back at the TARDIS."

Chekov's frown deepened. "Vhy?"

"Because of that." Jack pointed out a nearby doorway. Multiple sets of Klingons were down the hall, searching every corridor and getting closer every second.

Chekov let out a terrified squeaking noise and jumped around the corner, jerking Jack there with him. Jack just licked his lips and stared into space.

Chekov quickly peered from their hiding spot, before jumping back again and twisting to face Jack. "Vhy deedn't you tell me zhere vere Klingons?!"

"I just did."

"But vhy didn't you tell me sooner?!" Chekov whisper-yelled.

"I just saw them, like, two seconds ago. So I told you." Jack cocked his head. "Why didn't you see them sooner?"

"You aren't very good at your jobs, are you?" Yyn-Tarvæna asked from across the way, also keeping her voice quiet.

McCoy slammed down a piece of equipment violently, causing them all to jump. "I can do my darn job very well, thank you very much!"

"I think I heard something!" yelled a Klingon from the hall. He pointed toward the noise and all the Klingons began to walk in their direction.

"Now look at what you did," Doctor scolded, shaking his head slowly.

"What I did?!" McCoy said hysterically, his expression darkening like storm clouds.

"Now is not the time for you to be bickering like children!" Yyn-Tarvæna snapped, also sounding near-hysterical. Her scaly skin began to twitch.

"Heh. We're all gonna die," Jack laughed quietly.

"Move!" Chekov snarled. Jack and Yyn-Tarvæna jumped out of the way. Just as a few Klingons were approaching the entrance of the corridor they were in, Chekov slammed his fist on a nearby panel. The doors slid shut, much to the Klingons' surprise. Chekov backed up and fired a blast from his phaser into the panel. Within seconds its was emitting sparks and the wires were visibly damaged, rendering it useless.

"You've postponed our death," Jack noted dryly.

"Shut up," Chekov snapped. He whipped out his communicator. "Chekov to Keptin. Do you hear me?"

A few seconds of static, and then: "This is Kirk."

"Change of plans, Keptin. Ve vill meet you and meester Spock and Meester Scott and zee nurse lady at zee TARDIS… thingy. Vill you please relay zhat to meester Scott?"

"Of course. Did something happen?"

"Something always happens," Chekov sighed. He peered down an empty corridor before waving for the others to follow. Jack shrugged and began following, Yyn-Tarvæna next to him. McCoy begrudgingly dragged the Doctor along.
"You'll have to be more specific, Chekov. Did something happen?" Kirk repeated.

"Notzing zhat I can't take care of, Keptin," Chekov said. "I vill give a detailed report later. I vill meet at the rendezvous point in appwroximately twelve minutes."

"Understood. Hurry, ensign, but be careful. Try not to alert to the Klingons to your presence. Be stealthy."

Chekov inhaled deeply and looked over at the closed door. The Klingons had begun to hit its surface to try to get it open. "Oh, zhat shouldnt be a pwroblem."

"See you in twelve minutes."

"Yes, Keptin." Chekov flipped off his communicator. He turned to the group of four who were following him and nodded. "Follow me."

"That's what we are doing!" McCoy said. Chekov rolled his eyes and marched onwards.

Jack walked a little faster so he was right next to Yyn-Tarvæna. He held out his hand and smiled his most charming, award-winning smile. "Hi. Captain Jack Harkniss."

"Jack," Doctor scolded, slapping him away. "A time and a place."