Ch 2

Terra was a mess of tears on Monday night when she had to go to bed before her father had returned home. Her siblings and mother assured he was just running late and would be there when she woke.

In the morning, she was even more disappointed to run into her parents' room to give the Doctor a welcome-home hug and find that his side of the bed was empty and her mother was pacing.

River did her best to comfort Terra through that day and the next, holding her tightly. She told her stories about how the Doctor was a terrible driver and how he used to always be late for their dates.

By Friday, River was calling all of their friends, asking if any of them had seen or heard from her husband. None of them had any news for her. Another week passed and Jack set his scanners to search for the TARDIS, but was getting no results either.

The girls started asking if the Doctor was ever this late before and what could've happened to him. River continued to hide her worries, telling them that he used to be much later and that she was sure he would be back soon.

After a third week, River was beyond worried. That Friday, the girls were sleeping over at a friend's house and Clara was going to take Terra and Arthur so River could spend the night looking for the Doctor without alarming the children, and she was going straight to Karn.

The Sisterhood of Karn told River they hadn't seen the Doctor since the Time War, though Ohila did insist on knowing what River had to do with him.

"Don't lie to me! I know that he was here." River snapped, the conversation only making her more anxious, "He wouldn't lie to me."

"The Doctor lies to all, dear child. You are foolish to think you're an exception."

She swallowed, a sinking feeling in her chest. He wasn't where he said he would be, he wasn't back when he said he would be. Why would he lie to her about this? Had he gotten tired of their little domestic life and just run off? Or was he lost and hurt somewhere out in the universe?

"Do not take such a thing personally." Ohila murmured, sensing the other woman's distress. "If he tells you the truth it means he cares little for your safety. Nonetheless, if you wish to continue your search you must look elsewhere."

"It's hard not to take such a thing personally when one's every waking moment for the past two decades has been spent in loyalty to such a monolith of a man." She sighed, reprogramming her vortex manipulator.

"You give him too much credit. He may stand as a monument to the War but have no illusions of his greatness. Heroes are only ever broken."

River sighed, transporting to the Hub where Jack and Vastra were running more scans. They looked up at her return, Vastra hurrying over when she saw River's expression. She shook her head, sitting down looking defeated, "Ohila said that she hasn't seen him since the Time War… He lied to me." Although the Doctor and lying were nothing new, it still stung that he had lied to her and to their children.

"Oh, dear." Vastra pulled River into a hug, unsure of what to say. She wanted to believe that the Doctor had a reason, but she was also partly mad at him for hurting River.

River hugged her friend tightly, "I've always worried that he'd get tired of being settled down with me. It would be foolish to think that he wouldn't, he's the Doctor and he may love me, but he loves adventure more." She sighed, feeling rather defeated, "I know that I shouldn't jump to conclusions, but I can't help but worry that maybe he's not coming back. Why else would he lie like that?"

"My dear, there are many reasons he could've done this. If your worries are true then he would've done this long ago. Perhaps he was trying to protect you?"

"I'm sure that's it." She nodded, giving her a weak smile. "I just wish he didn't feel like he has to lie to protect me."

"I believe that's a conversation for when he returns. And he will, River."

"It's been almost three weeks." She whispered, "I don't know how much longer I can stall the kids."

"Then we must-" Vastra cut herself off as there was a large crashing sound from outside. River jumped, then ran for the doors. Jack and Vastra followed.

Outside the Hub, something large hand broken through a big piece of the boardwalk. Passersby had gathered curiously around the gap, staring at the object that had crashed: a four meter tall silver cylinder; a TARDIS in its default shell. River immediately recognized what it was, her heart stopping.

"Is... is that..?" Jack couldn't quite make out the word. She nodded, taking off towards the ship. The thing was half in the water.

"How are we going to get to that?" Vastra asked.

"I don't know, but I'm going to try getting the doors open." River was getting ready to dive into the water.

"Maybe we should wait until we have something to get it out of the water with..." Vastra hesitated.

"Well, then we need to get something!" River cried urgently, "Jack, is there anything in the Hub?"

"Yeah, I've got something. Hang on a sec." He ran back inside. Vastra rubbed River's shoulders in an attempt to comfort her, ignoring the stares from the humans.

The ship started smoking.

Jack ran back with a remote-like device in his hands. "You do realize this is going to attract even more attention than here already is?"

"I don't care. If the Doctor is in there then we need to get him out." River was trying to keep calm.

"What if it isn't him? Last time I checked, your TARDIS doesn't look like that."

She bit her lip, not knowing what to do. If it was her husband, he obviously needed help. If it wasn't…

The smoke from the ship increased, the fumes blackening.

"Jack, please." She shook her head, "We need to do something."

"Here goes nothing." He activated the device. It shot out a large blue ray, the light engulfing the silver TARDIS. Jack pressed a few more buttons and the ship rose creakily out on the bay water. He maneuvered it onto the unbroken planks of the dock with a thud.

Immediately after it was out of the water, River ran for the doors, trying to open them. Jack and Vastra ran to help, the three of them managing to get the doors open.

Smoke exploded in their faces. River coughed, but it didn't stop her. She ran inside, "Doctor!"

The console room would've been a sterile white had the crash not happened. As it was, the central column had shattered, leaving glass everywhere. Some panels of the console had come away, exposing wires and broken gas pipes.

River coughed as smoke filled her lungs, "Doctor!" She tried again, searching the room. There was no response but a weak groaning from the other side of the room. She ran to the source of the noise.

Barely conscious on the ground was a gray haired man. His skin and clothes were singed, though he was in the Doctor's attire. River froze when she finally saw the man, unable to move, her hearts stopping.

"River!" Jack called, "Do you see him?"

"Y-Yes!" She choked out, moving to pull the Doctor outside the TARDIS. She was shocked, but she needed to get him out.

"Is he alright?" Is was Vastra's voice now. "Do you need help?"

"No!" She shouted again, managing to lift the upper half of his body and pull him towards the door. They weren't sure which question she was answering.

"UNIT is here, they're trying to take care of the witnesses. They're asking if we need medical assistance."

River stopped answering, focusing on dragging her husband out of the burning TARDIS. Her eyes stung and her head felt light from the smoke inhalation, but she kept going.

Jack ran to her when she was close enough to the door for him to see her. "Oh my god..."

Once outside River fell beside her husband, coughing and trying to refill her lungs with clean air. Vastra moved to aid River while Jack hovered over the old man.

"This is him? I though he couldn't do this anymore."

"It's-" She coughed, "It's him."

"We should get him inside." Vastra murmured, too in shock to question this.

River nodded, "Jack can you help carry him?"

The man nodded, moving to hoist the Timelord over his shoulders in a fireman's carry. River led them inside, still regaining her breath. "We need to monitor his hearts and put him to bed."

"On it." Jack put the Doctor down on the table in the examination bay, setting up scanners.

"He should get an oxygen mask as well." She murmured, helping to get it set up.

"So should you." Vastra worriedly added.

"I'm fine," River whispered, fixing the mask over his face and stepping back.

"You inhaled a lot of smoke..."

"I'm fine." She repeated, more firmly this time.

Jack cut in with scan results before Vastra could insist anymore. "There's some internal bleeding, but he's freshly regenerated, so he's still healing himself. We won't have to worry about that."

River nodded, the shock returning. "He'll be fine, we just need to let his body heal on its own."

"He's in a healing coma, so don't expect him to wake up before tomorrow." Jack pulled away from the computer. "So, you have an explanation for this?"

"I've only seen him in this regeneration twice before." She shook her head, "I don't know what to think anymore. He lied to me and then came back like this..." She was furious with him, but at the same time, it broke her heart that he had spent his last moments in his last regeneration alone.

"River, I'll say this- and I'm sure he's going to say the same thing- whatever killed him probably would've killed you too. Maybe that doesn't change what he did, but it's a pretty good reason if I ever heard one."

"I don't need him to protect me." She shook her head, "Maybe he wouldn't have been killed if he hadn't gone out alone." She pinched the bridge of her nose.

Jack didn't reply to this, knowing this was a conversation for the Doctor to hear. "Are you staying the night?"

"If you don't mind." She nodded, as much as she tried to hide it, her expression betrayed the anger and hurt that she felt.

"Do you want me to pick up the children in the morning?" Vastra asked.

River nodded again, "That would be helpful." The thought of having to explain everything to the kids scared her. They had never experienced regeneration before and she didn't know how they would react.

"What are you going to tell them?" Jack asked.

"I don't know yet. They know very little about regeneration, so I don't know how they'll take it or if they'll even understand."

He sighed. "Can I get you tea or something?"

"I don't want to be a burden." She shook her head, "If you have other things to do, you don't need to dote on me."

He nearly rolled his eyes at her. "River if I wanted you gone I'd have asked you to leave already. I'm just offering tea like you would do for me."

"No, thank you." She sighed, "Though a glass of wine would be nice."

"I can do that." He offered what he hoped was a comforting expression, going off to fetch a glass.

"Thanks." She murmured, her eyes fixed on the Doctor. She stepped closer, touching his jacket, "His coat's singed...He loved this coat."

"I'm sure he has a spare." Vastra soothed.

"He won't need it anymore anyway. I'm sure he'll want to redo his whole wardrobe, he always does." She bit her lip, "And good riddance, I always thought he dressed like an idiot anyway." Her voice broke and she quickly cleared her throat to try and cover it up.

Vastra didn't know what to say, pulling River into another hug. "Is there anything I can do?"

She hugged her back, "I don't think there's anything to be done. It's just...hard. He's still here, but at the same time, he's not. And I'll love him no matter what, but...I suppose I'll just need time to adjust to the change."

"You said you'd seen him before?" She asked.

River nodded slowly, "Only briefly. I don't really know anything about him."

"What happened?"

"It was right after Terra was born." She murmured, "He came to...help me."

Vastra frowned, "I don't remember him there. Not in this face."

"He really only saw me, but it was on Dundenbar and… it's complicated."

She nodded, though didn't understand at all. "Did you know this would happen now?"

She shook her head, "No, I thought I'd have more time with him. Well, the old him."

"And there's no way of knowing what's changed until he wakes." Vatra murmured.

River nodded, "Is it selfish of me to wish that I had at least gotten to say goodbye? That our children would have gotten to say goodbye?"

"No. I suppose everyone who experiences loss (or functional loss) wishes for the same thing. What did you do before he went to... went traveling?"

"I said goodbye, but if I had known that I wasn't going to see him like that again..." She trailed off, "It would have been different."

Vastra nodded slowly. "Do you want to be alone with him?"

"I don't know what good that would do." River sighed.

"Give you a little time to think." Vastra looked over to see Jack returning with the wine. "And to drink."

She nodded, taking the glass from Jack, "Thank you."

"It's Chateau Margau." He informed.

River took a sip, sitting down in the nearest chair. Jack left again to go deal with the UNIT team waiting outside and the clean up. Vastra went to make herself busy with making some food.

River sat with her husband for what felt like hours, watching the monitors. Vastra gave her a plate of biscuits later, which Jack stole some of. Jack also tried offering River a bed at some point, which he claimed would be much more comfortable than a chair. She refused, wanting to be there when the Doctor woke up.

She stayed up throughout the night, occasionally taking quick naps. Vastra eventually brought River a blanket and pulled up a chair next to try and companionable. They talked quietly as the night turned into morning, River keeping a watchful eye over her husband.

Vastra left. after Jack bought breakfast for the lot, to get the kids, wishing River high spirits. It was around the same time that they noticed the Doctor was muttering.

River sat perfectly still, watching the Doctor intensely, not saying a word. His words were hardly above a whisper at first and completely unrecognizable, especially with the mask covering his face.

River removed the mask, figuring he didn't need it anymore. His face twitched at her touch. His muttering was a tad clearer now, and for whatever reason was spoken in Estonian. "The world which shook at my feet, and the trees and the sky, have gone. And I am alone now. The wind bites now, and the world is gray, and I am alone here."

She frowned, putting away the mask and returning to her seat.

"What's he saying?" Jack asked.

River translated the words back to him, "I don't know why he's speaking in Estonian."

He shrugged. "I have a number of guesses, but it's not worth theorizing about. The good news is talking means me might be waking up."

She nodded, her expression growing stonier, her anger and hurt with her husband still boiling beneath the surface. Jack coughed. "As much as I love fireworks, maybe I should leave the room for this."

"Maybe." She whispered, biting her tongue.

He made his exit, knowing all too well that River's wrath was not something one wanted to get in the way of.