Ch 13
The Doctor fidgeted with the new controls of the TARDIS, remaining quiet as they floated in the Vortex. River walked over to him, cupping his face in her hands, "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." He murmured.
"I know, but it doesn't make me any less sorry that you're going through this." She stroked his cheek with her thumb, feeling like her affection was really the only thing she could give at the moment.
He leaned into her touch. "I'll make it through."
She gave him a soft smile, kissing his cheek, "I love you. And they love you too, which is why this is so hard for them."
"When you saw me on Dundenbar... did I- was it different from how they are now?"
"Well, I didn't see all of them, but from what I did see, I would say so." She gave him an encouraging smile.
He returned the gesture. "How about a date, Mrs Doctor? I believe I promised you one before I left."
"I'd like that very much." She smiled.
"Lady's choice. Unless you want a surprise location."
"I think I'm going to have to go with surprise this time."
"As you wish." He pulled a large lever and sent them off.
"Should I change or is this adequate for our destination?" She gestured to her clothes.
He looked her over. "You might want something a bit more old-fashioned."
"Any particular time period?"
"Think 1800's, Germany."
She nodded, going off to change. He finished piloting them to their destination, waiting in the console room for her.
She came back in an era-appropriate gown, "I suppose you're going to claim that your magician getup is just as 'timeless' as the tweed was?"
"Of course it is. Besides, I know you like the dressing up." He grinned, holding his arm out for her. She rolled her eyes, taking his arm. They strolled out the door.
The TARDIS was parked behind a relatively small while building. The pair moved towards the smell of food and sound of people. River looked around, smiling softly, "It smells wonderful."
It took no time at all to wander upon the excitement. Most of the people were dressed like River, making the Doctor stick out more than he'd ever admit. He was grinning, however, looking at his wife. "Oktoberfest, 1890."
Her eyes were shining with excitement, "You've never taken me here before." She smiled, "Oh, it all looks so exciting."
"There's beer, dancing, creamy sauerkraut... well I'm sure you know most of that."
She nodded, "Yes, I do. Now, does this body drink or am I drinking alone today?"
"Let's find out, shall we?" He gestured to a nearby beer stand. She nodded, walking with him.
They bought a pint for each of them, the Doctor taking a tentative sip.
"What do you think?" River asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Not bad." He murmured. "Like a bitter pop."
She laughed, "Yes, I suppose it's a bit like that."
He took another sip. "Is wine bubbly or is that just beer?"
"It's just the beer, my love. Though champagne is fizzy too." She took a very small sip of hers, knowing he wouldn't notice.
"Perhaps you can introduce me to those later."
"Perhaps. I do like a bit of champagne when I take a bath." She purred.
He took a step closer to her and whispered against the shell of her ear, "Mind out of the gutter, Mrs Doctor."
She laughed, "Oh please, Mr Song, you love it."
"I do." He acknowledged in the same tone. "But your corset is enough is enough of a distraction without the commentary."
She smiled, "Oh, is it?" She commented innocently. "Well, then I guess it won't help if I tell you that I may have skipped putting my knickers on when I changed. Now there's a spoiler for you." She pressed herself up against him for a moment, having to go on tiptoes to whisper back in his ear.
"Naughty." He grinned.
She hummed, expression similar to his. "Shall we continue exploring?"
"Lead the way." He nodded.
She took his hand, leading him through the alleys of stalls, stopping to play games, drink, eat, and dance. The Doctor indulged in the activities by her side, very enthusiastic about the dancing.
River enjoyed the dancing the most -she usually did-, laughing and spinning around the area with him. They only stopped when their feet ached too much to ignore, finally retiring back to the TARDIS.
River was giggling, one arm wrapped around her husband's waist, "I can't believe you shouted at that man!"
"He was trying to dance with you. We weren't even finished with the number." He defended, smile wide.
"He wasn't trying to dance with me, he was trying to distract me so his friend could swoop in and dance with you." She laughed.
"Same difference. I didn't want to dance with anyone else."
"Well, neither did I." She smiled, "Though I do think you've had a bit too much to drink."
"I've only had, what, two pints?"
"Really? I could have sworn you had four..."
"It's a good thing we left, then." He swayed.
"Careful." She went to help steady him.
"I'm fine." He swung his arm over her shoulders.
"Perhaps we should sit." She murmured.
He huffed, though allowed her to set him on the jump seat.
"I'm going to get you a glass of water, don't move." She hurried out of the room.
"I won't." He called after her. She came back within a few moments with a glass for him. "Thank you, love." He hummed, looking more sleepy.
"Tired?" She raised an eyebrow.
"The alcohol is getting to me. Why aren't you drunk either?"
"Because I have a higher tolerance, and I had much less to drink." She murmured, kissing his head. She actually hadn't had any alcohol besides that first sip.
"You and your logic." He huffed.
She laughed, "I think we should get you to bed."
"So much for baths and champagne."
"We'll save that for tomorrow."
"And maybe go a little light on the champagne?"
"Maybe, but no promises." She smiled.
He rose from the chair, allowing to her guide him back to the bedroom. She helped him to bed, removing his shoes for him.
"I'm going to feel awful in the morning, aren't I?" He asked.
"I'm afraid so, but if you can manage to stay up and drink a bit more water, that will help."
He hummed. "I think I can manage that."
She went to fetch him another glass of water, returning quickly. He thanked her. "Did you enjoy the festival?"
"It was wonderful. Thank you for picking such a lovely place." She smiled.
"Ah, I've been meaning to take you for ages. Got a bit side tracked, but at least I remembered how to speak German."
"Yes, you did. And it made the trip all the more fun." She kissed his cheek, "Ich Liebe Dich, Mein glänzender Ehemann."
"Ich Liebe Dich auch, Mein helles Licht." He replied.
She smiled, "Drink up, I'm going to change." He nodded, sipping the water.
She went to put on her pajamas, her back to him as she removed her dress. "So, a bit earlier you were talking about being more spontaneous."
"I was, yes." He nodded.
"Is that something I should look forward to?" She glanced over her shoulder at him, her dress pooling around her ankles.
"I should think so." He looked over. "You weren't lying about not having any knickers."
She laughed, "Did you really think that I was lying?"
"No." He smiled. "But I do appreciate visual proof."
"Enjoying the view?" She teased, searching through her drawer for her pajamas.
"Very much." He hummed.
She found the clothes she was looking for, slipping them on, "Well, I'm sorry to say it's a bit too cold to sleep naked."
He pouted, though patted the space next to him. She crept into bed and curled up beside him. He wrapped his arms around her. "Süße Träume, Liebes"
She hummed, closing her eyes and quickly falling asleep.
-x-
It was around four in the morning when the Doctor jolted awake, silent but shaking.
"Doctor?" River mumble sleepily, awakened by the jolt. He didn't seem to hear her, shuffling out of the blankets to get out of bed. She yawned, sitting up, "Doctor?" She called again.
He was standing now, tuning with a clenched jaw to look at her.
"What's wrong?" She frowned, getting up out of bed.
"Nothing," He whispered, staring a hard gaze into the floor.
"Doctor..." She whispered, touching his cheek.
He tensed, brushing past her, out of the room. She watching him, not knowing what else to do, so she decided to follow him, worried.
He was seemingly wandering aimlessly down corridors, that was until he stopped in front of a door she hadn't seen before and entered the room. She tried to follow him, knowing if she wasn't supposed to go in the room for some reason the TARDIS wouldn't let her. The door remained present and a jar, music starting from inside.
She stepped inside, eyes scanning the room. The place was a bit small with not much in it. There were a couple chairs, a small shelf, and a desk with some paper. There was also a guitar stand, though the instrument that went there was in the Doctor's hands. He stood, facing the far wall.
River was quiet as she watched him, stepping further into the room. He was playing the song he used to sing to the twins when River was pregnant with them, humming shakily along with it. She stopped, recognizing the tune, her hand falling to her middle at the memory.
When he was finished, he turned to her. "Sorry."
"For what?" She whispered.
"Running off just now."
"It's okay. You don't have to apologize." She drew closer.
"Had a bad dream." He murmured, putting the guitar down.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked quietly.
He shrugged. "I was back in the confession chamber. You were there with me."
"It's okay." She whispered, "We're not there. You don't have to go back there. You're safe."
He closed his eyes. "They get into your memories, you know. They try to find your worst fears and scare you into talking. There's not much I'm afraid of anymore, but I could hear you screaming, River. Every day I would look for where you were and I would only ever find blood. And you would still call out for me." That was from his memory, not the dream
She held him tightly, "It's alright. It's okay. It wasn't real."
He let his breath out, clinging to her. "I want you to be safe."
"I am safe." She whispered, "And our babies are safe. It's okay."
"How can I keep them safe if they won't let me near?"
"I told you, they're going to adapt, they're going to get used to you and everything will go back to normal."
He sighed. "I know."
"It's okay." She breathed again, kissing his cheek. "It's okay."
He nodded, taking a breath and making an obvious attempt to change the subject. "So apparently I remember how to play guitar."
"Yes, you do. Will you play something for me?" She asked. It was early in the morning, but she knew they probably wouldn't be sleeping again.
He picked up the instrument again. "Requests?"
She shook her head, "Surprise me."
He smiled weakly and started an old love song. She smiled, leaning against the wall, watching him. When he finished his shoulders were less tense.
"That was lovely." She smiled.
"Even with my groggy morning voice?"
"Especially with your groggy morning voice." She moved to kiss him.
He accepted to kiss gratefully. "Thank you. For listening I mean."
"Of course." She smiled, nuzzling his cheek.
"Breakfast?" He offered.
"Do you want to cook?"
"Yes, but I understand if you don't trust my cooking skills yet. They are a bit rusty."
"I'll let you cook this time." She shrugged, "Your grilled cheese sandwiches weren't half bad yesterday."
"Glad you think so." He put his guitar on the stand and lead her to the kitchen. She held his hand. He gave her hand a squeeze as he looked over the cupboards.
"I'm thinking... maybe eggs and sausage?"
She nodded, holding his hand tighter.
He glanced at her. "Are you alright?"
She nodded again, "Yeah..."
"You sure." He met her gaze.
She shook her head. He turned his attention to her completely. "Tell me?"
She shook her head again, "It's not important."
"Of course it's important."
"I don't want you to worry."
"I'll worry either way." He pointed out. "I'm your husband and you just spent your early morning making sure I was alright. Now it's my turn to make sure you're alright."
"I had a nightmare too." She sighed, closing her eyes.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really." She whispered.
He nodded, moving to kiss her forehead. "Anything I can do?"
"I just want you here, with me." She murmured.
He smiled weakly. "Of course. Always."
"I love you." She whispered, giving him a weak smile.
"I love you, too."
"I'll let you cook now." She murmured, reluctantly letting go of his hand. He smiled and got to work on breakfast. She sat at the table, watching him, her eyelids drooping.
The eggs came out rather dry, but the sausage was just fine and he put them on plates for the two of them. "Sleepy?"
She nodded, "Yes, I am."
"Perhaps we can get back to bed after we eat."
"I'd like that." She murmured, "But you don't have to sleep if you don't want to." She didn't want him to have another nightmare.
He shrugged. "I'd still like to join you."
When they'd finished eating her eyes were very droopy and he rose and wrapped his arm around her. "You're exhausted."
"I'm okay." She yawned.
"Come, on. Let's get you back to bed." He tutted.
She walked alongside him, immediately curling back into their bed. He wrapped his arms around her. "Sorry for waking you so early."
"It's okay." She mumbled, "How are you feeling?"
"Better." He hummed.
"Do you have a hangover?" She asked.
"Bit of a headache." He replied.
"Take some aspirin." She slurred.
"I will." He started tracing patterns along her arm.
"Cats need to be fed soon." She was falling asleep.
"I'll take care of it." He soothed.
"Thanks..." She was asleep by now.
He stayed with her as she slept, taking in her features. Her sleep wasn't completely restful, she occasionally mumbled words and phrases. He listened closely, trying to decipher them. She was saying something about the Doctor and a baby, though it wasn't entirely clear if she was referring to one of their children or just any old baby.
From the few clear phrases, it revealed that the dream was at least pleasant. He decided he would ask her what her dream was about when she woke, not wanting to interrupt her sleep.
She slept for another hour or so before she began to stir.
"Morning, love." He murmured.
"Morning." She smiled.
"You were talking in your sleep." He hummed.
"Oh, was I?" She asked.
He nodded. "Something about me and a baby?"
"Oh...Right..."
What were you dreaming about?"
She shook her head, "It was just a silly dream. We were going to have another baby and you were playing your guitar and singing to it...That's all I really remember."
He smiled. "Doesn't sound silly at all."
"I guess that song you played earlier just...triggered my brain." She murmured.
He kissed her shoulder. "I'm glad you had a good dream."
She smiled, "Me too."
"I believe I promised you a bath and champagne." She murmured after a while of lying in bed, enjoying each other's warmth.
He hummed. "Is that an offer you're looking to for fill soon?"
She nodded, "Yes, I think I could use some bath time with my husband.
He grinned. "I'll start the tap."
"I'll get the champagne." She murmured.