Ch 35
In the morning Terra was the first up, going to visit the dog and then jumping on the Doctor's chest.
The man jolted awake, staring up at his daughter. "[Well good morning to you, too.]"
She giggled, giving him a hug, "[Good morning!]"
"[You're up early. I suppose you want breakfast?]" She nodded, smiling. "[Alright then, but you're going to have to let me up.]"
She wiggled off the bed, running out of the room with the dog. The Doctor rose, glancing at his wife River was still fast asleep, her skin a bit pale. He frowned a bit, pulling the blankets back to look at her arm. There was blood soaking through the bandage and the thin robe she had on.
He stared for a moment, shocked that the injury was deep enough to not have yet clotted properly. That, or it had nicked a bigger blood vessel than either of them knew. He went to the bathroom to get more bandages, knowing it needed attention. What it really needed was stitches, but it was hard to convince a sleeping person of that. T
The Doctor took the what he needed, going back to River. He realized she would probably not like to wake up with him hovering over her and attending to her injury, so he decided to wake her. "River." She didn't wake up, eyes still closed. "River?" He said a little louder, with more worry. Her eyes opened slightly. "River..." He could see that she wasn't alert. "You're bleeding through your bandages again. I think you nicked something big."
She closed her eyes again, not really hearing him.
"River," he continued, getting to his point, "I need you to say yes and let me help you. You've lost more blood that you realized." The wound had probably been bleeding through the night. She opened her eyes again, muttering: "Okay."
"And stitches?"
She nodded weakly, eyes closing again. He got to work making a temporary wrap over her arm that would hold while he retrieved the materials for the stitching. He grabbed things from the medbay, though on his way back to his wife he ran into Terra, who was confused as to why her father was taking so long.
"[Are you going to make breakfast?]" She asked.
"[...Yes, in a moment. I've just got to... take care of something.]"
She was going to ask another question when the dog distracted her. The Doctor used the distraction to return to the bedroom and tend to River's wound.
He wondered why River hadn't just been honest with him about what happened. He wasn't going to look in that diary. He didn't even look in her regular blue one. Just a simple 'I was reaching for something under the bed and I got snagged' would have been better than the secrets.
"Little pinch." The Doctor murmured, injecting the anesthetic. She didn't react except for her eyes opening slightly. With great care, he stitched up the wound. "Why didn't you tell me it was this bad, River?"
She opened her mouth and then closed it, not having much energy to speak. When he was done with the stitches, he got her a glass of water and encouraged her to rehydrate. "Your arm will be numb for another hour or two." He murmured.
She nodded, letting out a heavy breath. He sat on the bed. "We should talk about last night."
"Why?" She avoided eye contact.
"Because I don't want what happened to repeat itself and if we're not honest with each other, then it will."
"What is there to be honest about? Do you think I lied to you about doing this to myself?" She frowned.
"No, I don't think that. But you still haven't told me how you got it."
"I told you that it doesn't matter. Why won't you just leave me alone about it."
"'Doesn't matter' has you disoriented from letting yourself bleed all night." He sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. "I made the mistake very recently about lying to you and I made a vow never to make that mistake again. The truth is important. It's communication. And I know you were reaching under the bed for that diary, you left blood on the carpet. I don't care what's in that diary. The question is why you wouldn't just tell me you were trying to get it and snagged yourself. Do you really think I wouldn't respect your privacy about the diary?"
"Because I'm still trying to deal with what happened." She snapped at him, "And I don't want to talk about it. I just want to be able to deal with it and not have you ask a million questions because that only makes it worse."
He was silent, wishing she'd told him this earlier and avoid the row.
"Are you happy now?" She was obviously angry.
"I'm glad you've told me how you feel." He murmured, glancing at his hands in his lap.
"Well, that makes one of us." Her eyes were burning a hole in his head.
"You're angry with me." He lifted his gaze to meet hers. "That's fine. But I want to help, River. If helping is shutting up, then that's fine too, but you have to tell me that. You can't just scream at me to leave you alone and stop asking questions, that's not getting me to understand."
"Well, I don't want your help. There's nothing you can do to help." She shook her head, "You can't fix everything."
"Not trying to." He sighed. "I'm going to make Terra breakfast."
"Fine. I don't care." She shook her head. His hearts twinged as he went to the kitchen.
Terra was waiting for him, feeding Toby handfuls of treats.
"[He can't have that many.]" The Doctor said, getting her attention.
"[But he likes them.]" She had a bit of trouble signing because her hands were full of treats.
"[I know, but it's doggy candy and too much candy makes you sick.]"
She pouted but put the treats back up on the counter. He thanked her, moving towards the fridge. "[What would you like to eat?]"
"[Pancakes! With smiley face!]"
He smiled weakly at her. "[Alright then, but you'll need to be patient while I make them.]"
Terra nodded, sitting down on the floor next to the dog. Arthur wandered in while the Doctor was cooking, joining Terra on the floor. The children waited as patiently as they could for breakfast to be made, the twins eventually joining, too.
The first batch was served shortly with enough for all the kids to have two pancakes.
"Do one of you want to ask Mummy if she wants any?" He asked the children.
They nodded, though River entered the room before any of them could get up.
"[Daddy made smiley pancakes!]" Terra announced to her mother.
"[Really? Isn't that lovely.]" She smiled softly, going to get a plate for herself.
The other children offered Good Morning's as Terra pointed to the chair next to her, wanting River to sit there. River sat down beside the little girl, saying good morning to the rest of the family.
The Doctor served a few pancakes onto her plate from the pan. "They're hot."
"Thanks." She murmured, waiting for them to cool before eating them. Terra asked for another pancake, signing away about a good dream she'd had last night.
The family talked and ate their breakfast together. The twins were tasked with washing and putting away the dishes as their chore while Arthur was assigned to feed the animals.
"[Can we go back to the house today?]" Terra asked her mum.
"[Yes, I suppose so.]" She nodded, "[But I have to talk with your father about it first.]" Terra nodded, going off the get dressed. "Can we speak in the other room?" River murmured to the Doctor.
He nodded, following her out.
"Terra was to go back to the house." She murmured once she had pulled him into her office.
"Oh..." he said in acknowledgment of what she said, and then in the realization of the potential issues with that said with less volume. "Oh."
"I don't want Them finding us again. I don't want anyone finding us."
He wondered briefly if 'anyone' included their allies. "A bit difficult living in a London flat. We have social neighbors."
"Exactly." She sighed.
"And the kids have just been in New York for months their time, we can't just land where we left off."
"I know. I was thinking, if we do have to go back, we'll go a few months after we left. We could say we were away because of you...or the old you...died." She hesitated, "And well...we had to go and take care of that."
He nodded. "...Makes sense." There was a beat of silence. "River when you say you want us to be hidden from everyone...?"
"Everyone." She affirmed, not needing him to finish.
He sighed. "The minute we step out of the TARDIS we are detectable. The kids will watch the telly or go on the internet, we'll get phone calls and stares from being away for so long. Even landing the old girl leaves a mark on Time that can be traced. Even if we moved, even if we stopped traveling, we'd need shielding technology the size of a-a king's vault to be hidden."
She sat down on her desk, putting her head in her hands. He lowered himself into a nearby chair. "They're not going to follow us, River. I made sure of that when I became the Hybrid and stood in the ruins of the Capital. They have no more reason to follow us now that the prophecy has passed, even if they could."
"But other people can follow us. Other people will try to kill our children." She bit back, "I can't lose any of them. We've already lost enough. I don't want to risk anything. I don't know how to keep them safe anymore." She sighed, "I don't know how to let them be free and still be safe."
"Perhaps we should focus on Terra's question for now. Are we going back to the flat today?"
"Do you think it's safe?"
"Depends on whose definition you're using." He murmured. "By mine, yes."
"And what would your definition of safe be?"
"Well, that the only things we need to be worried about are stubbed toes. Not our enemies."
"Fine. Then we'll go back today." She sighed.
"We can figure out the rest soon." He promised.
"I hope so." She whispered.
"I'm going to go let Terra know."
"Okay." She nodded, still not comfortable with the whole idea, but she knew she couldn't put the children's lives on hold for much longer.
He rose, going to find Terra. Tera was busy picking out one of her fancy princess dress-up dresses to wear, having missed her collection while she was away. He flickered the light to make her aware of his presence. She turned around, smiling and running to hug his legs.
"[What are you up to, my little star?]"
"[Getting dressed!]" She beamed.
"[Those aren't your everyday clothes]" He observed.
"[I wanted to wear my dress up clothes because I didn't get to wear them for a long time.]" She explained.
"[I see.]"
"[Can we go back to our house today?]" She asked.
He nodded. "[Yes, but I want a media-free day. No telly and no internet.]"
"[But why?]" She pouted.
"[Because I said so. We can go visit Uncle Jack or something instead.]"
Her eyes lit up at the mention of her Uncle, "[Really?]"
"[Yes. He'll probably want to see us.]" Jack wouldn't have had any contact with the Songs since they'd left, so they ought to let him know they were alright.
"[Can I wear my princess dress?]"
"[Whatever you like, sweetheart.]"
She smiled, "[Can we go now?]"
"[Well, we have to give your siblings a chance to get ready.]"
"[Is Mummy coming too?]"
"[Yes, probably.]" He still had to ask about Jack, but he guessed she didn't want the kids to leave her sight.
"[And Toby?]"
"[Sure.]" The pets had been cooped up in the TARDIS since he and River left.
"[I'll get his leash!]" She ran out of the room, bringing the dog with her.
The Doctor went to inform the other kids that they were going back to the flat but there would be no screen time today. This was met with resistance until he gave them the Eyebrow Look, then they knew not to argue.
River was in the console room, setting the coordinates for the flat, making sure to pick the right day. Freya wandered in, her other siblings still putting on proper clothes. "Is it really safe to go home, mum?"
River nodded, not looking away from the screen, "We wouldn't be taking you back if it wasn't safe."
"What are we going to do about school?" She asked.
"Well, I've got an excuse for you. I told your schools that your father..." She hesitated, "I told them that he passed away."
"Dad's not dead." Freya frowned.
"Yes, I know, but we can't tell them about regeneration." River explained, "We need a reason why he's not coming back."
"Oh." She nodded slowly. "So Dad's just... a family friend?"
"Yes, for now." She nodded.
"Does that mean you have to pretend to get married again later?"
She nodded again. "Do I have to act really sad in school?"
"You don't have to. We're landing many months later than when we left."
"Oh. When are we landing?"
River turned the monitor so she could see the date. It was early November when they'd left and late-February when they'd landed, the goal had been to keep as close a parallel to the kids' timelines as possible. They wouldn't have a second Christmas and had missed Christmas with Vastra, who hadn't seen too much of the Doctor's new face. Expectedly, they would have a full message box on the phone from concerned friends.
"I'm sorry it has to be like this." River murmured.
Freya sighed, thinking about Ben. "Nothing we can do about it is there."
"I'm afraid not." She shook her head, "I'm sure all your friends will understand why you've been gone. They won't hold it against you." She tried to console.
"I guess so... I can't even tell them what really happened."
"I know." She nodded, "I'm sorry. I wish it could be different."
"Can we visit Sylus soon?" Sylus and their family were some of the Songs' alien friends. While Freya couldn't talk about everything, she could be more open about time traveling and adventuring with them, as it wasn't hugely unusual for the time.
"Maybe. Your father and I have to make sure it's safe, but as soon as we do, we'll go visit."
The other children were entering the room now. "Thanks, mum." Freya murmured. River nodded, doing a few last minute checks before bringing them home.
Terra was quick to the door, Toby plodding behind her as she excitedly entered the house for the first time in months. She beamed, looked around, then frowned. "[Mummy?]"
"[What is it, darling?]"
"[There's a shadow moving over there.]" She pointed in the direction of the kitchen.
"[Back inside. Lock the door.]" River immediately removed her blaster from its holster, running out of the TARDIS, blaster at the ready. Terra did as River said.
In the flat, there was a sound from the direction Terra had pointed of footsteps pacing and fabric rustling with the movement. River crept quietly towards the shadow, knowing she had the advantage since the figure didn't seem to know she was there. As River approached, the voice of the trespasser, apparently a woman, could be heard muttering to herself in a familiar, slightly Scottish, but very Victorian dialect.
"What are you doing?" River jumped out.
The scaly, green woman turned sharply at the sound of River's voice. She looked beyond shocked, and even like she might cry, though Silurians didn't have tear ducts to do so. "River Song, you infuriating woman!" She half shouted, though she sounded more relieved than anything and was immediately throwing her arms around River.
River was tense, still on edge though she placed an arm around her friend, "You need to be more careful. I almost shot you."
Vastra pulled away, hands tight on River's shoulders. "Where have you been? Jenny and I have been worried sick over you and Jack claimed there was something dangerous happening that you were running from and he gave me no details, the bastard, and you wouldn't answer your phone and you missed Christmas..." She had to pause to take a breath. "What happened?"
"The Time Lords." River murmured, "They found us and tried to come after us..." She trailed off, glancing back at the TARDIS door, "I'll explain in a bit. The kids are waiting."
Vastra nodded, still in shock. She put her arm around River's waist, walking back with her to the TARDIS. When they reached the doors, River hesitated. She turned to look at Vastra, studying every bit of her. This was the woman that she trusted above nearly everyone else. The children had stayed with her countless times, she had helped them, taken care of them, even saved their lives. Yet, River couldn't bring herself to fully trust her now. Gallifrey had destroyed even that trust.
Vastra frowned slightly. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes...everything's fine." She reached for the door of the TARDIS.