We are not allowed to linger,
even with what is most intimate.
Rilke.
The streets of Berlin were black, and slick with rain. The city had become one of the boiling points of individualism and avantgrade. Movie stars were now the darlings of the masses and yellow presses everywhere. New styles and ideas seemed to ventilate the cultural life of the city, at times I was strongly reminded of my time in Russia immediately after the revolution, there was a similar spirit of re-creation and experimentation in the air.
Despite the troubled economic situation in the land, those who could afford it, wanted to celebrate profusely after grim years of war. Many people walked from work to home or towards the decadent amusements of the night. The varied theather, restaurant and cabaret culture flourished, alongside the opera and other forms of amusements.
Slowly I straightened my hair in front of the mirror, and twisted the heavy strands in place, with force. In the gently flickering half light, I looked pale. Resolutely I made up my face, carefully, a delicate hint of red on my cheeks, and I painted my eyes, lightly vivid bold strokes of black.
I glanced quickly at the mirror and smiled at the image it showed. I glanced at the flyers on the table, glowing with words praising Waldoff's new act.
The great room was full of people, the orchestra played an atmospheric favorite tune, of the month, and there was a loud queue at the bar counter. I straightened my posture and slid sofly between dancing and partying people to regular table. There was already a familiar group there, but there was also an old friend, in residence tonight.
Katherine.
She was dressed in red, as was her usual custom, the strong color of her dress shone bright, and vibrant among the golds, pinks, and blues of the crowd dancing everywhere. I noticed that she seemed to converse fiercely with Waldoff, sitting straight and being her usual bitingly sarcastic self.
Over Katherine's shoulder, Waldoff nodded lightly at me, and lit a new cigarette again, there was almost full ashtray in front of her. I quickly crouched past Katherine and slid to sit next to Marlene, who was reading the film script intensively, and complaining that she wouldn't be able to bear if she was cut off from the scene again.
Katherine's eyes were very warm as they looked at me, sharp and light, like the dark cognac in her glass. Olly and Waldoff were discussing something with each other in a quiet voice and Katherine said quietly in english to me, " Betty, your recent letters have been so full of Berlin and the Staatsopern that I had to come from Paris, to experience the atmosphere here myself. This is something like in the Stray Dog, but not quite the same, but you know that as you've been there longer than I. Nathalie, Romaine, Lily and Dolly too sends their greetings and well wishes, for you, and I picked up for some letters for you at Passy, as I got the key from Nathalie. I approve that you have kept her things there, and they suit you too, but please get rid of some of those curtains, as they are too fin de siecle, if you want to look even a little fashionable, the place is still quite a mausoleum."
Katherines voice was acidic, but her smile was tinged with slight melancoly and a small shadow, as if a touch of memory seemed to fly momentarily over her features. I nodded, and we raised our glasses in the mutual memory of our loved ones. Waldoff had ended her conversation with Olly and glanced at me meaningfully. I nodded to her embraced Katherine and whispered, to her ear, "I hope you enjoy the performance."
Katherine watched her surroundings with interest. Everywhere people were dancing and there was dazzling sense of escapism and elaborate fun in the very air of the establisment. The great hall had two floors, the lower floor with a dance floor, and the performance stage, and upstairs almost on the ceiling a few balconies, or lounges.
Katherine noticed that the girl, who had been sitting next to Elizabeth, was it her name Marlene, corrected her posture, and put her script aside, feeling somewhat curious Katherine glanced quickly at what name the title page had.
The name did not say anything to her, but then Katherine reflected, movies as an art form generally did not mean much to her. Suddenly Katherine noticed that Marlene was looking at her very intensely. The gaze of her large luminous blue eyes, it was glamorous, and very focused, and in a quiet voice she heard the following request. "Fraulein, I noticed that you know English, can you teach me, because if I want to succeed in movies, certain command of English is a must, because there is future also in the American film industry." Katherine looked at the girl, properly, she seemed to shine with some undefined charisma Katherine found herself nodding, and giving her own card to her.
Suddenly the music stopped, and strong lights came on the stage, and Waldoff walked in with a smooth strides. She sat lushly on the piano, wrapped her white shirt around her elbows, and began to sing a low, captivating cabaret song. It was fierce, feminist, emancipatoristic anthem, for women casting away the the shackles of men and patriarchy, and masculine oppression. There was lot of curses. The ambiguities and criticism of society were incisive, and to her surprise Katherine found herself enjoying the various songs as the set continued. As a encore Wolff sung the rousing Das lila Leid the audience sung with gusto all over the hall as lyrics, of the refrain were most fitting.
"Wir sind nun einmal anders als die Andern,
die nur im Gleichschritt der Moral geliebt,
neugierig erst durch tausend Wunder wandern,
und für die's doch nur das Banale gibt.
Wir aber wissen nicht, wie das Gefühl ist,
denn wir sind alle and'rer Welten Kind,
wir lieben nur die lila Nacht, die schwül ist,
weil wir ja anders als die Andern sind".
Wolff had a strong charisma and she mastered her audience with an sure touch. At the end of the performance Wolff gave plenty of autographs. Then captivating and seemingly improvised music broke the restless movement of people on the dance floor. The lights went out, everywhere except the orchestra-stand.
The musicians played, still first the piano, and then the violin. In the middle of the dark stage, a bluish light suddenly appeared, a gas flame, illuminating a ghostly character standing delicately in the middle of the stage, the light rose slowly, with a small crackle.
Piano continued to play.
Katherine looked enchanted on stage as Elizabeth took one calculated step forward, and began to sing to the accompaniment of a slicing violin and piano.
There was something really commanding and almost supernatural in Elizabeth as she stood on that particular stage. As if she was not known to Katherine at all, as a hearts daughter. Elizabeth's caressingly soft voice, which at times lowered into a whisper, seemed to depict the personal, private, even intimate feelings of everyone in the hall. Katherine felt her cheeks burning red, – she who had not blushed in public in years.
Elizabeth's voice was controlled, and hypnotically wild as she swayed decadently to the beat of the music, dressed entirely in black. Her hair had been collected loosely under a shiny high tophat, few long golden strands fluttered free, and she had black long satin opera gloves on her arms.
A sudden smile rose on Katherine's face, as she recognized the verses, few of Renees –most succulently erotic pieces of poetry translated in german, and then the tears, they came, tears of pride because of Elizabeth, seemed to finally begun to live.
A/N:
Das lila Leid(1920) is one of the first gay lyrics was written by Kurt Schwabach, to the music by Mischa Spoliansky. The whole Das lila Lied is wonderful and has several translations, some good and some really dreadful, of it to be found, if there is an interest. Here very rough translation of the refrain, it does not include the wordplay of the original.
"We are different from the others,
who loved only in step with morality,
wander curiously through a thousand wonders,
and for whom there is only the banal.
But we don't know how it feels because
we are all children of other worlds,
we only love the purple night
that's muggy because
we are different from the others."