Ch 71

The console room was dark and drafty when River and the Doctor materialized there. River looked around the console room, wondering why the room was now so cold and dark.

"Missy's the only living thing occupying the TARDIS regularly." The Doctor murmured, knowing River was wondering. "It saves energy to shut down the rooms she's not in. The lights will come on in a moment."

"I miss being in here," River murmured. The lights started coming back section by section of the room.

"Me, too." He agreed.

She walked over to the console monitor. "Scan for Time Lord life forms," she requested. The monitor brought up two locations: one in the console room and one in the library.

The Doctor took her hand. "I suppose we should get this over with."

She nodded in agreement, "The sooner the better."

They headed down the hall, Felix moving quite a lot. He tended to be much more active after a trip with the vortex manipulator—something about the discharge of arton energy tickling, the Doctor often said.

They were nearly there, though River had to stop and catch her breath, the pain in her side that had been their earlier was now returning.

"You alright?" The Doctor frowned slightly.

She nodded, "Yes, don't worry."

"Alright... but please tell me if something's wrong."

"I will." She smiled weakly, continuing on so he wouldn't worry.

Missy was all the way in the back room of the library where the Gallifreyan books were kept. The married Time Lords walked quietly through the library until they came close to her.

River cleared her throat.

Missy didn't turn around. She was in silk pajamas, staring at one of the bigger, older books kept on a pedestal. "Two of you? It must be my birthday." She sounded more tired than their last encounter.

"You were complaining that we haven't given you a chance to prove yourself so we're here to talk."

She turned slowly. "You don't have to pretend, I know you'd rather see me rot."

"And listen to you snap at me the next time I come to check on you? No thank you."

"Ooh, you were going to come and visit me again? Now I feel really special."

River rolled her eyes, looking at her husband. "Missy," the Doctor began, "this is a negotiation, not a game. You're in the last stretch of your sentence, but we won't release you unless you can prove you're ready."

"I know it's not a game." She snapped.

"Well, shall we sit somewhere then?"

"I'm quite comfortable where I am, thank you." She murmured.

He sighed. "This won't be a traditional test."

"Nothing with us is ever traditional."

"I think the only way this will work is if it's like a practice run," he continued, ignoring the comment. Missy raised an eyebrow. "A hands-on sort of—something that would mimic a real-life situation. A scenario that you've got to figure out." He explained.

"So basically, you want me to be you."

He squared his shoulders. "If that's the mindset that going to have you save people instead of killing them, yes."

"Will I get the pets or companions or whatever you call them too?" She sneered.

"They're called friends," he corrected, "and I don't know yet. Most of them don't know you're here."

"She knows I'm here." Missy nodded at River.

"She's my wife, I don't keep secrets from her." He murmured, not sure he liked the direction this was turning.

"Well, she can be my disposable!" Missy continued on, loving how it made River squirm.

"I don't think so." He glared.

"Why? Maybe we'll bond and become best fwiends!"

He unconsciously squeezed River hand. "Because this will be real people in real danger and I'm not putting my pregnant wife in the middle of it."

Missy shrugged, "Pity, I think we could make a good team. My dashing looks and brilliant mind combined with her... homely appearance and weaponry skills; we'd be unstoppable."

He sighed, looking at River.

"You want me to work with her? You're seriously considering that?" River frowned.

"No. Well, maybe. A bit, but we still have other options..."

River crossed her arms, her expression equally cross.

"Maybe it's time to clue in Vastra and Jack on the situation...?" If any of their friends could temporarily take up a companioning role with Missy, it was those two.

River nodded, thinking that perhaps it could be a good idea. He turned back to Missy. "In four weeks-almost three hundred years for you-you're going to be let out of here for your test. You will be supervised and I'll decide later where your test will be and who'll come with you."

"Great. So I get to live through another three hundred years while you two try to pretend I don't exist." She rolled her eyes.

"I'm not going to apologize for having a life outside of tending to you. We have children to care for and another on the way. You know that." She still didn't know about Terra, but that was hardly relevant. "Unless you have a better plan, that just how it's going to be."

"It's not my fault that you two can't seem to stop making those little pests." She snapped, "I've been good, I think I deserve more than a five-minute visit to prove that to you."

"Then what do you propose?" He challenged.

"You should move back here, into the TARDIS."

He crossed his arms, mirroring his wife. "I don't think so."

"Why not?" She raised her eyebrow, "Are you afraid I might do something? Wouldn't this be the perfect opportunity to prove that I've changed?"

"I don't like taking risks, not when it comes to my family. I may have mentioned a few hundred times that I don't want you near my children, and since they need to live with River and me, we won't be living here while you are."

Missy glared, "So you'd rather leave me here to rot and resent you both?"

"I hardly think the leaving you in the comforts of the TARDIS will make you rot." He sighed.

River, who had been quiet for the duration of this exchange, suddenly grabbed and squeezed the Doctor's hand, wincing. The Doctor's attention was immediately drawn from Missy to River. "What's wrong?"

"Pain...right here..." She breathed, pointing to the lower part of her abdomen.

"Missy, we'll continue this talk later. River, let's get you to the med bay..."

She nodded, still holding onto him tightly. Ignoring the face Missy was making, the Doctor wrapped his arm around his wife's waist and helped her to the medbay. "Has this just started?"

"No, but it wasn't bad, for the past couple hours it's only been a little discomfort, but it got worse all of a sudden." She explained. He helped her onto an examination table. "It's a sharp ache in this area." She gestured to her lower abdomen.

"It could be a hiccup with the neural bypass device..." He hypothesized as he programmed the scanner. "And it's a bit early for Braxton-hicks, but that's not impossible either."

She nodded, "It's probably something easily fixable, right?" She said this mostly because she wanted comfort, not because she believed it.

"Probably." He agreed though they both knew that he didn't know.

The scanner beeped and they picked it up quickly. "It looks like there's an infection in the neural device," the Doctor murmured. "I'm going to have to take it out."

"Will you be able to put a new one in?" River asked.

"Not until the infection has passed." He shook his head. "With antibiotics, I'd say the soonest is in perhaps fifteen days."

She groaned, knowing the pain was going to get much worse once he took the device out.

"Sorry," he sympathized. "...We could try the antibiotics without taking the device out... but it would be slower and might not work."

"Let's just take it out. I'd rather make sure the infection goes away than risk it." She murmured.

"Right. Just take deep breaths, I'll make this quick," he murmured, placing his hand on the device. "Ready? One... two... three." He pulled, the insertion hooks sliding up with his hand.

River hissed, swallowing any other noised that dared make its way from her. He put the device aside. The skin around where it had been attached to River was red and now oozing slightly an almost transparent fluid.

The Doctor took a few tools in hand and started tending to the area. "Are you sure the pain only started today?"

"Yesterday. I could feel a dull pain, but I thought it was just from camping." She murmured.

"You went camping did you?" Came a voice from the doorway. Missy was standing there, no longer in her pajamas but in one of her usual dresses. "How domestic."

River shifted uncomfortably, feeling quite vulnerable in her current position. "Our kids wanted to go." She muttered.

"It's doesn't get boring for you? All that," she made a vague hand gesture, "stability?"

River glared at her, "Our life isn't boring. We still go out on adventures, though that's been difficult since you came and took over the TARDIS."

"I'm not stopping you from traveling. It's not my fault my mere presence makes you cringe." She had stepped further into the room now, absently touching the things on the counter. "It's a shame this couldn't be solved with something as simple as, I don't know, letting me go a little early."

"We're not letting you go earl-aggh." She groaned, squeezing her eyes shut.

Missy watched with amusement and the Doctor reached for River's hand. "Are you alright?" He asked.

She nodded, squeezing his hand tightly. The neural device had been blocking all the pain from the irritated ligament, but now that it was gone, all of it was crashing down once more. With the scar tissue as present as it was, the mere stretch of the pregnancy was enough to spark up shooting the pains.

"It's probably going to hurt every time Felix moves to fast or roughly." He murmured and kissed her forehead in sympathy. Missy pretended to gag, making a disgusted noise as loudly and irritatingly as she could. The Doctor sighed through his nose. "If you don't like it, Missy, you can leave."

"And miss the most entertaining thing that's happened in here all decade? I don't think so." She scoffed, "I can tolerate the horrid domesticity if it means I get to watch someone in pain, especially her."

He turned, glaring. "My wife is not a channel on the telly." River gripped the Doctor's hand tighter as Felix kicked right where the pain was worse. "Get out." He whispered.

"I don't want to." Missy pouted, "It's so boring in here."

"I don't care." He let go of River's hand, approaching Missy. "It wasn't a question. Leave."

"Doctor..." River breathed, not really caring about Missy at this point, wanting him to take her hand back.

"Would you really rather chase after me than sit with your wife." Missy provoked, moving away from him.

"I'd rather you listen to me the first time." He hissed, glancing back at River.

River propped herself up on her elbows, wanting to get between her husband and Missy to calm him down. Her shifting was difficult enough as it was, so she wasn't sure about attempting to stand, however, the Doctor was saying something about Missy being childish—River looked like she might actually try it.

"River..." his attention was back on her now. "You need to relax. Lie back."

"You need to calm down..." She breathed, "Getting angry is only-" She winced, "only going to provoke her more. You know that."

"Alright, but please lay back down." He urged.

She leaned back again. Missy continued to stand in the doorway, arms crossed.

He gently finished dressing the infected area of River skin and got to work figuring out how he could make her more comfortable. He found some heat patches for River to put on the areas that were aching.

River said she wanted to get out of this room once the heated patches were on, asking if he would come with her to their bedroom.

Missy rolled her eyes at that. "Honestly, it's no wonder you two keep popping out babies."

"I'm sorry it bothers you so much that my husband and I share a bed." River hissed.

"Aren't you supposed to be thinking about my test?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Your test isn't our top priority, so no. We'll think about your test when we have time."

"I'm just a spare hobby, am I?" She glared.

"If that's how you want to put it. We have more important things to worry about." River snapped.

Missy went baby-voiced for a moment and battled her eyes for effect. "Like the wittle baby making its mummy go ouchie?" She resumed her normal voice again. "Last I checked, that kiddo isn't coming out for, what, two months?"

"Alright. You want us to think about your test now? Now that I'm extremely irritated with you, tired, and am feeling inclined to make your test as impossible as I can make it? If you're really impatient we can do it right now. Or you could wait until after I've gotten some rest and am in a better mood."

"I like impossible." She grinned. "I thought you knew that."

"Here, I'll give you a practice test. You've got to be nice to me for three days. If you can manage that, then we'll start thinking about your real test. If you can't, then we'll keep you here for another thousand years."

For once Missy was shocked. "You can't be serious."

"No… I couldn't be more serious, actually." River shook her head, trying to look put together.

"What does being 'nice' to you entail?" She crossed her arms.

"Well, you can't talk back or make rude remarks whenever I say something. If I ask you to do something for me, you should do it. Maybe even throw in a compliment one or twice. I know that it's hard, so if you didn't want to even attempt it, the Doctor and I can leave now and you can start looking forward to your additional thousand years." She said the last bit mockingly.

Missy stared in horror, looking at the Doctor for help. He looked unsympathetic and completely taking River's side.

Missy looked like she might scream, but squared her shoulders and jaw instead. "Are you actually going to stick around for three days?"

"Yes, we're going to actually stay for three days. And I should mention that spending the three days avoiding us doesn't count and will just result in failure."

"Great, now I'm a service dog and prisoner." She muttered.

"Let's start now, shall we? How about you go make us lunch and bring it to use in our bedroom." River smiled at her.

"Slow down a moment, I don't think my being nice involves answering to your every beck and call."

"You're right, it doesn't. However, nice people, or at least people who are attempting to be nice, do nice things for others. So, a nice thing you could do for me is make me lunch. And perhaps, if you do something nice for me, I'll be inclined to do something nice for you."

Missy scowled. "I'll have you know I can't cook."

"Well then, the TARDIS will help you."