"So, you're the one who was elected to give me the talk?" I ask, using air quotations.
Paul stops short, shakes his head, and spins around to look me in the eyes. His eyes are dark and heavy, and I feel trapped under his gaze.
"I guess you could say that." He says shortly, crossing his arms over his chest. He doesn't elaborate, and I simply look at him before getting annoyed.
"Well, this has been fun, but I'm gonna go," I say with a huff, and turn away. I feel Paul's warm fingers wrap around my arm, stopping me.
"No," Paul exhales deeply. "I need to talk to you.. I just don't know what to say."
He's silent again, I debate turning around and leaving.
"Did you figure out what we were on your own, or did Bella tell you?" Paul asks quickly, almost randomly, like it's the first thing that came to his mind.
"Billy has told me the legends all my life," I reply cautiously, absentmindedly braiding a strand of my hair. "So the whole time I was worried about all of you, it was right in front of my face. I was stupid not to realize it sooner."
"Not stupid," Paul shakes his head sharply. "Who would have thought the old people weren't just losing it?"
I shrug, stay quiet. There's so much I want to ask, so much I want to know, but I can't seem to scrape the words together to speak.
"Of course, no one warned us that anger is the trigger of the stupid fucking change," Paul continues, his eyes flitting from me to the trees. They always come back to rest on me. "Or that, in wolf form, our minds are connected. Everything we think, we all hear. We all see. We all know. There isn't any privacy in this life."
"You hear each other's thoughts?" I wonder, raising my brows.
Paul nods. "Every time we switch to our wolf. I guess its helpful, when we're hunting the leeches."
My thoughts flash to the meadow, the red eyes of who I now know is a vampire brought to the forefront of my mind. Instinctively, my nails dig into my palms.
"Hey, don't do that." Paul says in an unidentifiable tone. He takes my hands in his large ones, unfurling my fingers. His eyes are dark when he sees the ever present crescent moon marks from my nails embedded in my palms.
"What's the best part of being a Protector?" I ask quietly, sensing his mood fall.
"Finding our soul mates." Paul's voice is casual, but the weight of his words are heavy.
I hesitate. "What do you mean?" I'm almost afraid of his answer.
"Do you remember the story of the third wife?" Paul answers me with a question, his hands still holding mine, his eyes still locked on my crescent moons.
"Of course." I respond. Having Billy as a father means I know every legend to a T.
"She was Taha Aki's imprint. His soul mate." Paul sighs. "Are you aware of what an imprint is?"
"I'm guessing soul mate?" My tone has an edge of sarcasm to it now.
"Yes, but there's more to it," Paul acts like he didn't notice my tone, and looks into my eyes. "When you first see her, everything shifts. You aren't worrying about if you'll make it through your first day back to school without ripping someone's head off. You aren't stressing about being a giant fucking wolf anymore. You aren't worried about never being you again. All that matters is her. She hurts, you hurt. She's happy, you're happy. She's holding you to the earth, not gravity. Whatever she wants, whatever she needs, you'll make sure she has it. She truly becomes your world."
"You sound awfully familiar with the feeling." My voice is hardly a whisper at this point.
Paul nods jerkily. "That's because I've imprinted."
"On who?" I swallow hard. I already know, but I need to hear him say it. Need him to confirm that we're tied together for the rest of our lives.
"You."
I don't know what to say. I expect panic to bubble up inside me, causing an anxiety attack that I'm so used to. Something I would be familiar with, but it doesn't come. Instead, I feel at peace. Relieved, even. For once, the swirl of emotions usually lodged somewhere between my throat and stomach, bouncing around like a pinball machine, are absent.
"Me?" I'm surprised by how even my voice is. It sounds normal, which is odd since my entire world just took a sharp left.
"Yes," Paul says resolutely. "And I know you're dating Seth right now. I know that, right now, you need someone to help you. Someone to make you feel whole and well, and not a mess. Despite what I want, I need to put your needs above my wants."
"What is it that you want?" My hands are still in his. I don't know if I should move them or not.
"I want you to accept that you're mine." Paul's voice is low, and tight.
"I can't do that to Seth," I shake my head. The pinball of emotions are coming back, tinged with a deep longing that seems alien.
"I know. Which is why I'm going put aside what I want and give you what you need." Paul nods firmly, almost like he's trying to convince himself.
"I need time." I inhale deeply, trying to calm myself. "I need to be alone."
"Okay, I'll walk you home." Paul says it like a statement, rather than an offer.
"I can get there fine myself." I assure him, slowly moving my hands out of his.
"Let me walk you home." Now, his voice is pleading.
"Fine," I find myself giving in, and together we walk to my house. Paul fills the air between us with information about being a wolf.
"Sam is our alpha, and his imprint is Emily," Paul says. "But I'm sure you already figured that out, he always gives her that look."
I bite my tongue to prevent myself from saying, "The same look you give me?" because I know that won't help our situation. If I weren't slyly studying Paul's face from the corner of my eye, I would have missed him giving me that look. Again, I feel a pang of longing strike through me, the emotion alien to my own.
Soon, we come to my small red house, and standing outside is none other than Seth. My face breaks into a bright grin when I see him, and I dash the remaining distance between us. I throw my arms around him in a hug, and feel his hesitantly hug me back.
"What were you doing with Paul?" Seth asks into my hair, and I freeze for a moment. I had honestly forgotten Paul had walked me home.
"Jacob said there were some bear sightings lately," I lie. "He had Paul make sure I got home safely."
Seth nods, and I pull out of his arms to look back at Paul. I want to give him a cold look, tell him to leave, get lost, but the tremors rushing through his skin make me stop.
Paul takes a step towards Seth's direction, gnashing his teeth together and balling his hands into tight fists. Seth doesn't notice he's in danger, but I do.
Doing the most stupidest move I possibly could, I walk to Paul, placing my hands on his shoulders. A hard task, considering he's at least a good foot taller than me. He snaps his head down, anger evident in his features. I shrink back automatically, and his anger seems to lessen.
"Paul, go back to Emily's. You need to calm down." I say evenly, lightly massaging his shoulders with my hands in an attempt to calm him down.
"You're mine." Paul whips out flatly, only for my ears to hear. My heart jumps to my throat, and I despise my very being for liking that phrase coming from his mouth.
"Go home, Paul." The words quietly escape my lips before I can even comprehend where they came from. It does the trick though, and without even one final look at me, he spins away and runs off into the treeline.
"What's going on, Rayna?" Seth asks, hurt evident in his tone. "Are you cheating on me?"
I stare off into the trees Paul disappeared to, feeling like a part of me left with him. I don't understand why I feel this way, or why I said what I said, and I'm confused. Thoughts rush through my head, too fast for me to understand the words whipping through my skull.
"Rayna!" Seth snaps, and I jump turning around to look at him. He's obviously upset.
"What?" I ask, shaking my head and walking back over to him.
"Did you even hear what I said?" He demands, not angry, but hurt.
"Um," I bite my lip. "No, I didn't. Sorry."
"Are you cheating on me with Paul Lahote?" Seth says Paul's name like it's venomous.
Flinching, I'm hit with an overwhelming defensive feeling towards Paul, but swallow it down thickly. "No! I just understand him more after today."
"I'm not stupid, Rayna." Seth looks like a wounded puppy, and I feel awful. He starts walking away from me, and I know I should let him go. I should let him go, and let him get over me, because obviously I'm not right for him. But my mouth has other ideas.
"Seth, please listen to me." I beg, walking after him. He shakes his head, and I start rambling.
"Look, I followed Jacob and he ended up meeting up with Paul and the other's, and Bella came too, and I can't tell you what happened but I get it now, and Paul walked me home because Jacob forced him to, because the woods are dangerous right now,"
"Leave me alone." Seth snaps, walking faster. "I don't need to hear your excuses."
"I love you." I say morosely, because I do. I love Seth Clearwater with everything in me, because he is my best friend. He is my other half, he is my person.
Seth stops, and turns to me. "Can you tell me, in all honesty, that you don't love Lahote?"
There's a split of hesitation before my answer, because the truth is I don't know. But I do know that I love Seth.
That pause is all it took for Seth to walk away. I don't chase after him, and maybe I should have. But I don't. I watch him walk away, and stand there even after he's out of sight. Of course, since its Forks, and rain is inevitable, I soon end up standing in the rain, numb and cold.
I start feeling sorry for myself, but I push those feelings away because Seth is the person who is hurting. Seth is the one I should feel sorry for. I hurt Seth, one of the kindest people I know.
"Rayna, come inside."
I jump when someone touches my shoulder, and look to see Bella giving me a reassuring look. First, I shake my head, but Bella gives me a firm look, and steers me towards the house.
Once inside the house, I realize how wet I am, my hair dripping water onto the floor, my sodden clothes irritating my skin. Jacob and Billy are giving me a sympathetic look, which I know I don't deserve. I am the one who hurt Seth. Without saying a word to anyone, I head for the bathroom, and turn the water to the hottest setting.
okay so it's been forever since ive updated, I apologize. ive had this piece of the next chapter sitting in my google drive for forever, and figured I should post it. I'm not sure if I like how this story has turned out so far or if I should start over or just continue it from here. I wanted your guys' opinions on what I should do. if you would like me to continue it the way it is, or if you would rather I rewrite it and change then plot a bit, let me know. ive been stumped with where to go with this as well, so if any of you have anything you would like to see happen feel very free to leave me a suggestion.
on another note, I hit over 100 reviews! that's insane, I haven't had that happen with anything ive published on ff. thank you all so much for following this story. its not over, I promise. just not sure what to do with it. let me know if you all like it so far and want it to be continued the way it is, or if I should redo the whole thing.
next update should be soon, I promise. thank you guys for all your support.\
-theflyinggraysons