Harry Clearwater's funeral happens three days after his death. From my understanding, Sue threw herself into planning it with the help of Billy, Charlie, and Old Quil, more than likely to distract her from the fact that he's gone.
The morning of his funeral is dark and gloomy, and although I could try to blame it on the fact that I hadn't slept the night before, I know that even the universe is mourning the loss of Harry.
I dress simple, a long sleeve velvet dress, black in color because this is not a happy occasion. I wear no makeup. On my neck, I have a wood-carved Quileute tribe symbol hung from a thick leather string. Harry had given it to me when I was seven years old, and it seemed fitting to wear it to my final farewell to the man who had been more of a father to me than my own.
Harry Clearwater was a man who was firm on Quileute traditions. That would be why I found myself spending an absurd amount of time tying my hair back in a long braid with feathers woven in, the way I remembered, with a pang in my chest, my mother doing when she had the time.
Unfortunately, with Harry being firm on tradition, that meant he wanted to have a traditional burial. No matter how much other's tried to talk her out of it, Sue insisted on obeying Harry's wishes. Billy and Old Quil backed her up as well.
Before I know it, Billy, Jacob, and I are shuffling out the door and into Jacob's rabbit, heading for the funeral. I don't know how to act, I don't know if I should find Seth and try to comfort him, or leave him be. Would he and Leah be at the funeral, even though they've recently started shifting?
That question gets answered as we pull up to the outdoor ceremony, happening on Third Beach, the private beach that only La Push residents could enter. Seth and Leah are both next to Sue, all three of them gripping hands.
Seth is wearing his only black suit, which now looks to be too small on him, and Leah is wearing a back sleeveless dress. Seth wears shoes, Leah doesn't. They both look uncomfortable, and every so often Leah's skin twitches unnaturally, and I know she's fighting back a phase.
Silently, we make our way over to them. Only a few others are here, including a few pack members. Sam is standing next to Old Quil, and Billy wheels himself next to them. Seth's eyes find mine, and they look haunted, dead. Hesitantly, he holds his arms out, and I hurry the last few steps to him to give him a hug.
"I'm so sorry," My voice is muffled from his shoulder, but I know he understands me.
Seth nods jerkily, and then releases me from his hug. He takes my hand in his, and I fold my fingers around it.
I place a hand on Sue's shoulder, and she gives me a tight smile, patting my hand. "Hello, Rayna."
"Hi, Sue." I reply softly. We turn to look at Sam, Billy, and Old Quil.
Following Quileute tradition, there isn't a casket. Instead, Harry is laid to rest in a canoe. Carved into the side are different symbols from the tribe, and the wood is a dark polished oak. It sits on a few tree stumps, no doubt brought there by the pack.
After around twenty minutes, the rest of the pack, and what seems to be all of La Push has gathered on the beach. The pack sits up at the front with the Clearwaters, and Chief Swan. Billy and Old Quil lead the ceremony. Since it's a traditional ceremony, nobody goes up to talk about Harry. Billy and Old Quil do all the talking. It passes by in a blur, and the only thing I'm really aware of is Seth's hand in mine and Paul's eyes piercing my back.
"We will all take a moment of silence to reflect on the life of an extraordinary man, and then request that all but immediate family leave for the remainder of the ceremony." Billy says in his gravelly voice, then crosses his fist over his heart and bows his head. All of us follow suit.
I can't help but wonder, what will become of Harry? What will be the path his next life will take?
People start to shuffle out from the ceremony, some coming up to the Clearwaters and paying their respects. Sue accepts mechanically, while Leah grits her teeth and clenches her fists tightly, and Seth just stands there looking numb. I still have his hand locked in my own.
Soon, the only people left are the pack, the Elders, the Clearwaters, and Charlie. Billy and Old Quil look to Sue, who nods sharply, her eyes tight. Billy gives a nod to the pack.
With solemn faces, they move to the canoe, each taking a part of the wood. They lift it in one fluid motion, and walk to the edge of the ocean.
"Farewell, see you soon." Billy speaks Quileute, his fist still crossed over his heart.
The boys push the canoe into the water, and we watch as it slowly drifts off, carrying Harry away from us all.
"That was a beautiful ceremony," Charlie breaks the silence in his gruff voice, and Old Quil nods his head in agreement.
"It really was." Jared agrees, walking back over with the rest of the pack.
I notice, with Charlie and most everyone distracted in discussing the ceremony, Leah has run off into the woods, the only sound she makes is the ripping of her clothes.
"Seth," I begin, but he cuts me off.
"Thanks for supporting me." Seth says awkwardly, before running off after Leah. I don't hear clothes ripping, so I assume that he was able to get his suit off before phasing.
I feel my heart break, just a little, as I stare into the woods that Seth had ran off into.
Before I hear him, I feel his heat radiating off his tall form as he stands behind me. His hand gently lands on my shoulder, sending waves of calm throughout my body.
"How are you doing?" Paul's voice is low and soft, and I feel comforted by it even though my heart is sinking.
"As good as I can be," I turn to face him, my breath catching in my throat as I see him dressed in nice jeans and an ironed button down shirt. It's the first time in months that I've seen him wearing something besides cut off jean shorts. I find that I like it quite a bit.
"You look gorgeous." Paul reaches out, gently caresses the feathers I have woven into my braid.
I say nothing, just close my eyes and steel myself. Harry's funeral, Seth's obvious hurt from me, and my strong newfound want for Paul has made me overly conflicted. I feel emotional, exhausted, and simply want to go to bed.
"The pack is gathering at Emily's for a bit. You're more than welcome to come if you would like." Paul says, almost pleadingly.
I open my mouth to decline, but think over the options I have. Billy won't be home, Jacob will be at Bella's house, making me alone with my thoughts. Maybe going to Emily's is the best option.
"Sure," I force a smile. "Sounds great."
Paul looks shocked only for a moment, but composes himself quickly. "My truck is over here."
My brow furrows in confusion, I hadn't ever seen Paul drive anywhere. As of now, his main form of transportation was his wolf, I wasn't even aware he had a driver's license.
He leads me over to a black, somewhat beat up black truck. To my surprise, he opens my door.
"Thanks," I mumble. Paul waves me off, and gets into the driver's side.
I hoist myself into his truck, and buckle myself in. Paul starts the engine, and heads off to Emily and Sam's.
"I didn't tell Billy where I was going." I observe mildly, looking out the window at the green foliage.
"Do you ever?" Paul responds almost immediately.
I wince at the somewhat biting response. "Ouch."
"I didn't mean it like that," Paul quickly spits out, and I feel his eyes on me.
"Keep your eyes on the road so we don't crash." I reply, albeit a bit scathingly.
The rest of the ride is silent. When we pull up to Emily's, Paul breaks it.
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Paul says lowly, his voice tense.
"Don't worry about it," I sigh. "I'm known to be a bit of a sensitive piece of shit."
"Stop that!" His voice whips out, stunning me. "You aren't."
I make a noise of disagreement in the back of my throat.
"You have to help me out here, Rayna," Paul's change of voice confuses me. "I'm really trying here."
"What do you mean?" I can't help but be confused.
"I don't know how to make you like me." Paul's voice breaks, and he clears his throat. When he speaks again, his voice is firm. "It isn't easy for me to talk about my feelings like this, but you're my imprint. And it's tearing me apart to know that instead of making you happy, I am hurting you and making you more conflicted about everything."
"That isn't true," I lie through my teeth, and Paul is shaking his head before the words escape my lips.
"Here's the thing, Rayna, for some reason you and I are connected more deeply than everyone else," Paul is staring at me now. "I can feel your emotions as though they are my own, more strongly than anyone else with their imprints. You can't lie to me."
"I feel yours too," I marvel at that fact, realizing that all the foreign emotions I had felt had indeed come from Paul.
"You do?" A crease appears in Paul's forehead.
"Yep." I nod, looking at him. His eyes open, and stare into mine.
"Can you just," Paul trails off. "Tell me what you're thinking. About the imprint, about me, about.. everything."
Even with everything I had been through, it was odd to think that Paul Lahote wants to hear my feelings. The fact the he's basically begging for them is mind-blowing to me.
Taking a deep breath, I throw caution to the wind and decide to spill everything.
"Truthfully, Paul, I think I have feelings for you. In fact, I'm basically one hundred percent certain that I do. I don't quite know how I feel about the imprint. I don't dislike it. I hate that our connection seems to hurt you because of my indecisions. I want to be yours fully, but that would tear Seth apart more than it already has and after him loosing his dad I can't hurt him further than I already have."
Paul is quiet, but I know he's simply taking everything in. And without warning, he suddenly reaches over and pulls me close to him.
"Please," Again Paul trails off. Paul Lahote doesn't ask for anything. But I know what he wants. I want it too.
I press my lips to his tentatively. His move against mine, soft and pleasant. It was the second time Paul Lahote had kissed me, and the first time was at a party we didn't care about drunk off our asses. He knows how to make you feel like you were the only girl he had kissed, like you are the center of his world.
With a jolt, I realized I really am the center of his world.
His hands move to my hips, and I know what he's asking. I feel the same rush of desire from me echoed from him, and I turn my body, lifting my leg up so I straddle his lap.
His hands trail down my back to my hips, then to my ass, where they stay. His touch is like fire and I find myself wanting more, but I quickly realize that we're right outside Emily's house full of werewolves with excellent hearing.
I stop kissing and press my forehead to his, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. He seems to catch on to my train of thought, and chuckles lowly.
"Trust me, they've heard worse from Sam and Emily." Paul says quietly for only me to hear.
"Still." I whine, pressing my head into his shoulder. He squeezes my ass, causing me to squeak, then wraps his arms around my waist.
"Are you going to go back to pretending like you don't want to be my girlfriend after we get out of the truck?" Paul's tone is teasing, but I hear the seriousness in his voice at the same time.
I bite my lip. Conflicted as I am, is it fair for me to keep stringing Paul along like this? I can't keep doing things like this and then staying away from him for the next few days. It isn't fair to him.
"I just don't want to hurt Seth anymore than I have." I say quietly, pressing my cheek to his shoulder.
"Babygirl, Seth knows that you're mine. He knows about the imprint. He doesn't like it, but he understands it now." Paul assures me, and I feel some of the weight leave my chest.
"Really?" I lift my head up to look at Paul, who nods.
"So, Rayna Black," Paul again turns his intense gaze to me. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
Although I want to talk to Seth first, confirm that he really is okay with it, I can't say no. I'm too selfish to say no, because I want Paul to be mine.
"Of course." I reply, sealing my fate.
Paul gives me a devilish smile, and presses his lips to my ear. "What you just experienced in this truck is nothing compared to what I'll do to you as my girlfriend." His hot breath tickles my ear and I can't help but get slightly aroused from that.
My cheeks burn as Paul smirks at me, and then opens his door. He lifts me down first even though he doesn't have to, and gets out himself with ease. He takes my hand in his, and together we walk up to the house which, thankfully, is full of chatter and bouts of laughter.
"Rayna!" Emily greets me with a genuine warm smile, pulling me into a hug.
"Hey Emily." I tentatively hug her back.
"Come, eat, theres plenty of food to go around." Emily motions towards the tables stacked with food.
"Oh, we'll have it gone in seconds, Em, I wouldn't say that," Jared teased, grabbing one of her massive biscuits.
"You'll share." Emily says sternly, and she sounds so much like a mom that it makes old wounds twitch painfully.
Paul places a comforting hand on my back, and I relax knowing he's near.
I don't see Seth or Leah anywhere, and although I hadn't expected Leah, I half-expected Seth to be there. But they both are new wolves, so it isn't a shock.
Paul heads off towards the food, and I decide to find a place for us to sit. There's still open seats at the table, so I sit on one chair and place my legs on the other. I doubt anyone will sit there anyways, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
A warm arm is slung across my shoulders, and I jump slightly because it isn't Paul. I distinctly know what his presence feels like now.
"How ya doing Rey?" Embry says, and I turn to give him a smile.
"I'm doing okay," I nod. "How're you?"
"Oh, you know, same old same old," He shrugs. "Mom thinks I'm doing drugs, wants me to help at the shop, yells at me whenever I come home."
"Sounds lovely," I pat his arm comfortingly. "You're always welcome at our place."
Embry shrugs again. "It's whatever. Nothin' I can't handle."
A plate gets set down in front of me, and I don't even have to look to know that it's Paul. I smile, and say thanks.
"I'd get up there now if you want any food, Embry." Paul's tone is light, but has a firmness to it that makes me raise a brow. He can't possibly be jealous of Embry.
"True that." Embry bobs his head, and leaves for the spread.
I wonder for a second if I should say something to Paul, but decide against it. It isn't the time or place for that.
As usual, the wolves have all grabbed enough food for six other people each. I shudder to think of what Emily must spend on groceries each month. Or, how she has the patience to cook everything.
Sam stands at the front of everyone, and clears his throat loudly. We all stop what we're doing, quiet down, to hear what he has to say.
"Today we had to say goodbye to a wonderful elder," Sam begins.
Harry Clearwater was a good man. His kids, although now weighed down with the burden of our secret, will be good editions to the pack. We all, knowing all the good things Harry has done for us, could easily sit and wallow in the pain and let it consume us. But Harry wouldn't want that. He would want us to thrive in the company of one another, keep each other happy. He would not want us to be miserable from his passing, no matter how much it does hurt that he is gone. With that said, lets all continue living our best life for one hell of a man."
The small house erupts with claps and words of agreement, because every word Sam has said is true. Harry only wanted happiness for his tribe. The best way to honor his memory is not to be sad, but to thrive in his memory. It doesn't lesson the pain. I know it won't ever really go away.
Everyone begins eating again, and I look around to see who all had come to Emily's. Surprisingly, I didn't see Jacob anywhere.
"Where's Jacob?" I ask Paul, taking a bit from the apple that had been set on my plate.
"At Bella's." Paul responds thickly, mouth full of food. I furrow my brows at that.
"He should be here," I say disapprovingly. "Or at the very least, with dad."
"That's Jacob for you," Embry reappears at my side setting down his plate. "Bella has taken up his whole world."
"It isn't like she's even his-" Paul starts, shaking his head, but cuts himself off.
My eyes narrow. "What were you going to say?"
Paul seems to flounder for something to say, the slamming open of Emily's door saves him from response.
We turn to see Jacob standing in the doorway with Bella next to him, white as a sheet.
"Jacob, what's going on?" Sam walks to them, food forgotten as he slips into alpha mode.
"I smelt the leech at Bella's." Jacob's eyes are wild. "She was in their house, Sam."
"Was Charlie home?" Now Sam's tone is tight and grim, and I know he's hoping there won't be another funeral anytime soon.
"No, but," Jacob runs a hand over his face. "She knows Bella lives there. She could come back there anytime she wants. Next time, both Bella and Charlie might be home."
Sam nods, and I can tell that he already has a plan forming. "We're just going to have to set up patrols around the reservation and around the Swan residence. Was there any other scent with hers?"
Jacob shakes his head.
"But she might, she might have others out there." Bella speaks up, her voice strained.
Sam nods again. "How fresh was the scent?"
"Maybe an hour or two old," Jacob shudders. "It was fresh."
Paul's arm wraps around me tightly. I hadn't realized I was shaking until that moment.
"Alright, then we need to-"
Sam is cut off by the sound of a howl, and everyone in the room jumps into action. The pack rushes out the door, abandoning their plates.
"Stay here." Paul orders, and hurries out after his brothers.
The sound of the howl haunts my ears as I sit helplessly in the chair, looking out where Paul had just been moments ago.
serenaonthestar: i agree completely. i don't like writing cannon bella, just not my forte. but it needed to be written lol.
yasminafeir1: we'll see how long this lasts..
lizyeh2000: indeed, it does.
lola (guest): im sorry you feel that way. although, if you do look at the characters i have listed for this story, bella is a character listed. so it shouldnt be a shock that she had become a somewhat major part of the story for the time being.
xxslytherinsqueenxx: i love your username, first off! and thank you!
serenity1006: yes! you understand it. thank you so much. yes. everything about your review, just yes.
pink lightspeed ranger: good to hear from you again! in all honesty, im not sure if i should have rayna phase. i have it set up so she could, if i decide to go that route, but i think i have something else planned for her.
acouvion: it makes me so happy to hear that. thank you so much.
sunshinebubbles: much thanks friend!
alright, so sorry this update is a smidge later than i would have liked. i had a few personal life things crop up, and then i got stuck on the second half of this chapter for a bit. and if this chapter is at all terrible quality, i apologize. i wrote the last half during a 27 hour car ride in which ive gotten maybe three hours of sleep.
like usual, i love hearing from you all. your opinions on the story, speculatiosn as to what will happen, what you would like to see happen, comments on things, stuff like that. you guys really came through for reviews on that last chapter, so a huge thanks to you all. much love.
goal for this chapter is to hit 135 reviews. cant wait to hear from you all!
also, some shameless self promotion, i started a jacobxoc titled dask'iya', so if you guys would wanna check it out and let me know what you think, that'd be lovely!
-theflyinggraysons