A/N: Heya folks. I'm updating early this week because I am about to go traveling. I wanted to let you know because this means I won't be updating for the next two weeks... sorry to leave you with a cliffhanger, it was an accident I swear. Enjoy!
Ch 89
"Is everything okay?" River asked Vastra upon arriving the kitchen. Amelia and Terra had followed in as well.
"Yes, it's fine." Vastra could see River's worry, so she spoke calmly. "I think my complexion scares him, is all."
"Oh, Felix. Why in the universe are you afraid of Auntie Vastra?" River soothed, carefully taking the baby from the other woman's arms. The fussing baby calmed down once River was holding him. "It's okay, my love." She hushed, "Auntie Vastra is so kind, there's no reason to be afraid."
"I take no offense," Vastra assured. "He'll recognize me in due time."
River hummed softly to the baby as she tried to get him to drink his bottle, though he still refused.
"[Why won't he eat?]" Terra asked.
"I'm not sure." River frowned, her worry evident. Amelia translated River's words to her sister.
"[Can I try?]" Terra asked.
River's face brightened a bit, pleasantly surprised at Terra's request. "Yes, but you have to sit down in the chair."
Terra hesitantly sat herself down in a chair.
"[You have to support his head.]" Amelia signed, repeating what her mother had said.
Terra looked concentrated as she adjusted Felix in the arms. Even for the boy being small for a newborn, he looked big in Terra's arms. River knelt down beside her daughter, making sure the baby didn't fall.
Terra signed one-handedly, "[It's hard to talk when I hold him.]"
"[If you want me to take him, just shake your head like this.]" River shook her head in a small circle for example.
Terra nodded her understanding as she took the bottle in hand. Felix whined a bit, then after a moment of encouragement, accepted the food. Terra blinked in surprise, not quite having expected this to work. That, and she'd never bottle-fed anything other than her dolls which were certainly a different experience from this living, breathing baby.
Felix stared up at her with his big blue eyes. Terra stared back, half bewildered, half uncertain as if Felix might startle like a cat. The bottle was about half finished when Terra used the head signal indicating she was done holding him.
River lifted the baby out of her arms, taking the bottle as well. "Very good." She mouthed to her daughter, smiling.
Terra wrinkled her nose. "[Does he like me?]"
River nodded.
"[How do you know?]"
"Because he took the bottle from you. He doesn't like eating from the bottle, but he took it from you." She smiled. Amelia relayed the information once more.
The bottle slipped out of Felix's mouth for a moment, to which Terra stared authoritatively at him and sighed 'eat'. Felix decided he wasn't interested anymore, whimpering as River tried to finish feeding him.
"[Why won't he eat anymore?]" Terra frowned.
"He doesn't like the bottle. It happens with some babies sometimes," River answered, though she'd never met a baby who hated bottled more than Felix did. Even her other children didn't mind being bottle fed so much as babies.
"[Can't you feed him the other way?]"
"[No. I'm taking medicine that he can't have.]" she shook her head.
Terra nodded, though seemed slightly worried. "[What if he under eats, though?]"
"[We won't let him.]"
-x-
"We should go to lunch—department approvals can wait, the baby's hungry." River stood up from her chair in the Doctor's office, "The scones in that cafe we like looked amazing when we passed by this morning."
"I missed last week's meeting, my love. I'm going I start running out of excuses at this rate." The Doctor's words were probably meant seriously, but it came out in an endearing tone.
She sighed, "You're right, I'm sorry. It just seems we've had less and less time together this month." When it came to interrupting work matters, the TARDIS used to be available for sneaking off without repercussions. Their usual excursions weren't so forgiving nowadays since the ship was being occupied by a mad Timelady.
"I know, Riv." He reached out and took her hand, pulling her into his lap. "But makes me appreciate the time we do have all the more."
She hummed softly, "I could call Nardole and have him bring some scones over for us so we can spend more time together."
He wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder. "There's a clever idea."
"Or maybe Ramone..."
"Not him." The Doctor scowled. Ramone had never stopped pining for River, even after the whole fob watch fiasco. Even knowing River was married, Ramone still flirted with her given the chance, which was why the man put the Doctor on edge.
"But he's so efficient. And I like the way you get after I talk to him." She teased. '
"And how, dare I ask, do I look?" He challenged one eyebrow lifting.
"Well, you get all possessive. And you get that look you get like you want to snog me senseless...among other things."
His scowl faded into a look of amusement. "Other things?" He quizzed innocently.
"You look like you want to shag me up against the nearest wall."
"That's just my normal face." He insisted.
She laughed, "Yes it is. It's a shame you don't give in more often."
He laughed as well, looking over her with just about the same look she was describing. In a sudden movement, he switched them so she was under him, pinned against his desk. "'Give in', did you put it?"
Her breathing instantly quickened, "Mmm-hmm"
They didn't end up getting their scones until after the department meeting—which the Doctor arrived to late, hair a bit of a mess. The two were sitting in the cafe, River quite content with her scones, when Ramone entered.
The Doctor saw him first, quick to scowl in his direction. "He'd better not be thinking about coming over here."
Ramone, of course, immediately walked over upon spotting River. The Doctor groaned silently, looking at River in hopes she'd send him away.
"I'll handle it." She murmured.
"River." Ramone breezed right over the Doctor, ignoring him. "Good to see you on campus again."
"It's good to see you too." She smiled, standing.
"Been busy?" It wasn't really a question as Ramone looked her over, spotting the six-month baby bump under River's dress.
The Doctor grumbled into his coffee mug.
"Yes. My husband and I have been getting ready for the new baby." She smiled, putting her hand on the Doctor's arm.
The Doctor's expression softened and Ramone's fell just a bit. "I see... You must be very, er, excited."
"Yes, very. We can't wait." She beamed, smoothing her hand over her round middle.
Ramone looked like he might ask to feel the baby kick, through a protective glare from the man at the table made him hesitate and resolve to the kind of adult-small talk one had surrounding an expecting parent. "When are you due?"
"A month and a half." She smiled, brushing her hair off her shoulders, revealing the love bite on her neck.
The Doctor grinned to himself and Ramone looked a bit flushed. "O-oh. Well, congratulations. I'm sure you've lots to get back to."
"We do, thank you." She smiled. He excused himself in the least awkward way as he could manage.
The Doctor looked a bit amused now as River sat back down. "He's like a puppy around you."
She laughed, "Does that amuse you?"
"For someone who's so obviously pining for you, he's quite shy around you." It wasn't a real answer to her question. "Doesn't it bother you at all?"
"Well…" she shrugged, "You know I like my men a bit more forward."
"I would think that was clear." He tapped his neck, reminding her that the marks he'd left on hers were in plain sight.
She laughed, moving her hair back over the hickies. "I'd say you fill that role quite well."
"I'd hope so," he smirked. He took her hand over the table, stroking his thumb over her skin.
She leaned in to kiss him again, "Anyway, as I was saying, I did a scan before I came to meet you and the baby gained a bit more weight."
"Right on track then." He looked satisfied at this information.
"He's going to be very healthy." She commented this after almost every scan she did, which the Doctor knew was due to her anxiety about something going wrong.
"I wouldn't let anything happen to him, Riv."
"I know, it's just… you know how everything is with Missy around."
"I know." He squeezed her hand. "But we're in the homestretch now. We can make it through the rest."
"I know, I hope he stays in here."
He offered a smile. "Everything will go just fine."
"I know." She sighed.
-x-
Felix was put to bed shortly before Vastra and Jack left. Terra was put to bed not long after that. It was when the Doctor and River were in their own room and the house was quiet that the Doctor inquired about River's earlier request. "You said you wanted to talk?"
River nodded, "I'm worried about Felix. He's still not eating. I feel like I need to come off the medication so I can feed him properly."
"You've barely been on it for a week..." He said hesitantly.
"But he needs to eat and he's not." She was quite distressed about this.
"I know. I just don't want you to have to sacrifice your mental health for that."
"But he needs to eat." She repeated. "And I want to be able to do it. I hate not being able to."
"Alright." He resigned, knowing it was ultimately her decision. "...But I think we should plan ahead and find you an alternative that will still help you."
"I'm sorry this is so hard." She sighed. "I️ wish that it wasn't like this."
"I didn't expect it to be easy," he murmured. "And I don't expect smooth, simple solutions to anything. I know there'll have to be compromises and I'll be here through them, I promise." He took her hands. "If this is what you want, I'll support it. I just want to make sure that this is a compromise and not a sacrifice."
"I want to be able to give him what he needs and I feel like we're not bonding in the way we should." She squeezed his hands, "I want to do this."
"Okay." He pulled her close enough to kiss her forehead, "Then that's what we'll do."
"Thank you for understanding." She murmured. "What...what else did you tell Amelia?"
"She asked if Felix would have major health issues from being so early. I was just explaining how we were able to avoid that, for the most part." They wouldn't know about any cognitive issues until he was older.
She nodded slowly, "Okay."
"Was that okay?"
"Yes. That's fine." She gave him a weak smile. It was still difficult to think about Felix's birth.
Sensing that she might need a change of subject he added, "You'll have to be off the medication for 36 hours before you can breastfeed."
"Is there any way we can flush it out faster?"
"Well... I suppose you could cut it down to 24 hours if you pushed constant fluids." He reasoned.
"24 is the fastest?" She frowned, still not satisfied.
"Yes, I'm afraid so... Felix will be okay, my love. He's still eating at least some of his bottles," he added.
"But I want to help him." She sat down on the bed, "I've let him down so much already."
"Hardly any of that was your conscious fault," he said calmly, sitting next to her. "There isn't a safe way to make the time shorter, yes, but taking care of yourself is part of how you take care of our son."
She rested her head against his shoulder, "I wish we wouldn't have tried to bring Missy back. If we had just left her then this wouldn't have happened."
He nodded wordlessly, knowing that nothing he could say would change what happened or how she felt about it.
River winced, putting a hand to her side.
"Alright?" he frowned.
She nodded, "Just sore."
"Okay," he said uncertainly.
"It's just an ache. It happens every so often."
He relaxed at her explanation, trusting that she'd let him know if she needed anything.
"Would you mind reading to me?" She asked softly.
"I'd love to," he murmured rising to get a book. "Anything specific?"
"Anything." She shrugged, sitting back on the bed.
He generally took it upon himself to pick from their favorites when River showed no preference. He pulled out a bit of poetry and settled back by her side. River curled up against him.
He was only a few pages in when River winced hard again. He paused the reading, "Are you sure you're just sore?"
"I'm fine." She shook her head.
"River, if there's something wrong I'd like for you to tell me Sometimes... you try to power through things that you can't just grin and bear." He was accustomed to what pain looked like on her, and this appeared sharp, not sore.
She sighed, "It's pretty sharp I suppose. I keep thinking it's passed and then it comes back." She admitted.
"Pelvic?" he asked carefully.
"Yes."
"Do you feel nauseous?"
"A little. It's weird, the pain it mean, it kind of feels like a contraction does."
He nodded slowly. "I'd like to do a scan if that's alright with you."
"That's fine."
He relaxed just slightly, glad that she didn't protest. He knew she wasn't fond of the medbay due to the unpleasant memories, so he pulled out the table side scanner. She laid still, waiting.
They waited for a minute, the Doctor looking patient in an effort not to look worried. The results beeped in. River's body tended as the pain returned. "It looks like an infection." He murmured, concern leaking into his voice.
"An infection?"
"Yes, a bacterial one. I think you picked it up on the colony ship and it the incubation period is ending," he explained.
"Why does it feel like a contraction then." She frowned.
"I'm not sure... Have you had any unusual discharge?"
"I just had a baby, everything is unusual right now"."
"Right… and unfortunately, if you're going to go on antibiotics, you can't breastfeed Felix."
This caught her attention more. "I don't want to go on the antibiotics then."
He had a feeling that she was going to say that. "If that's what you really want... Your immune system is strong enough to fight the infection on its own, but it will take much, much longer without the antibiotics. 14 weeks at probably. Maybe 18 at most. And I can't give you much for the pain either because of Felix." He knew that changing her mind was near impossible, but he wanted her to understand everything that what would likely happen to her body by this decision. "I'd like to take some samples to analyze, though. Your symptoms are a bit unusual and I might be able to help more if I knew what kind of bacteria this is."
"Okay." She nodded, "That's fine. I just want to feed him."
"You'll still be able to feed him in 24 hours if you push fluids," he promised.
"What samples do you need?"
He briefly explained the because it was a uterine infection that a pad's worth of what passed would be enough. She agreed, getting up to go get everything ready for him then going to bed, or at least trying to sleep.