Chapter 18. Possum King
"I know you." Edward Cullen loses his balance momentarily and puts great effort into gripping the ropes that hold his sails up high. His body swings, and he loses sight of me as he struggles to remain upright. Once he's settled again, his eyes dart from spot to spot on the deck, searching as though he thinks I've disappeared. He looks relieved when he finds me again."
I can't imagine what things have been tormenting him for the past weeks.
Then again, yes, I can.
"You do," I confirm as shame creeps up inside my bones, knowing I've put him in this predicament.
He looks around, befuddled. "How did you-"
"Now is not the time, vampire. We've got to go." I begin making my way toward him as lightning slams into the sea around us and thunder rolls loudly through the thick clouds above.
"I've been trying. This storm is-"
With a touch of his arm and a thought in my head we are out of the grips of Poseidon's domain and back in the safety of my office, inside the walls of the Brick and Mortar.
No, that's wrong isn't it? It's his office.
The vampire is disoriented. I'm not sure he's convinced we're back on solid ground. Regardless, he does appear to be comforted by the fact that he's in the familiarity of his own surroundings once again.
Before I can begin to explain what's happening, he throws his arms around me, and I'm locked in his grasp for a minute… or two.
It's a very long time.
"Is this real?" he asks, holding me tight. And honestly? I'm not so sure but...
"It is," I promise, hesitant and wondering what he thinks he's doing exactly, hugging the god of Hell.
After burying his head in my shoulder for a few more moments, he breathes out. He loosens his grip and peers around at his belongings to make sure he's actual where he thinks he is.
To be honest, he's still a bit shaken when he tells me, "That's for coming to get me."
And I nod apprehensively. Not what I was expecting from a vampire who's been holed up in Hell for… well, any period of time.
"I don't understand any of this," he says. When he peers into my eyes, he struggles to clear his mind as though coming out of a fog. "I know you, right?" he says again, trying to recollect where and why.
I don't answer this time. He'll get there.
He searches his memories, pushing through a vast many other until finally…
"We met outside."
"Yes."
"You asked me if I was lost."
"That's correct."
"But we're not friends," he states, sounding almost disappointed.
He's still uncertain, but I'm not. "I wouldn't say that."
After all, we've shared thoughts and a will, he and I. We've fought dark urges together and conquered them.
His face turns grave as he recalls what came next, and within seconds, it all passes through his mind as though in fast-forward. His expression changes from disoriented and confused to furious.
He's a blur of movement. The next thing I know, I'm cold cocked by a vampire for the second time in my existence.
I seethe as I lick my lip and taste the blood.
"And that's for taking something that doesn't fucking belong to you." His face is strained and red, and his teeth are clenched. His eyes are dark. And yet, his expression says he's not happy he's lost his temper.
I give him a warning glare. Admittedly, it doesn't carry the full force of who I am exactly, or what I could do to him. It's more of a please stop agitating the god of Hell kind of look.
"I'm going to forgive that one," I advise him as he stands before me, angry yet exhausted. He simply doesn't have it in him to go toe to toe with a god. It's a good thing; I'm all out of free passes on sucker punches.
"Fair enough," he says, giving his hand a few waves in front of him to shake the pain away. As quickly as it appeared, his expression transforms from anger into fatigue. He lets himself fall into the comfortable chair Isabella has curled up in quite a few times.
He leans back and closes his eyes, rubbing at them. He lets out a breath of air.
"I need a nap."
And I'm confused. "I was under the impression that vampires don't sleep."
He pulls his hands away from his face, and his brow dips. "Welcome to the party, Captain Obvious. It was a metaphor."
He jerks his head as though he's just now thought of something important, and then he pushes himself up out of the recliner.
"It's Hades, actually." Strange creature.
"I know who you are." He pulls a door open that leads to a private restroom.
And I'm surprised. Which doesn't happen often. "You-"
"I'm sorry, where have I been for the past week again?" He calls out to me as he starts a shower. "I'm not a religious man, but I know what Hell looks like when I see it."
Right.
"It didn't cross my mind that-"
"Yeah?" He's back with a scowl spreading across his face. "A lot of things didn't cross your mind, did they?"
His words are like daggers. It's not like I don't deserve them.
"Regardless. There's no time for naps, vampire. We have a lot to discuss."
"Oh, no. We don't have anything to discuss," he tells me. "You and I? We're done here. I have a life to get back to. Businesses to run." He looks as though he's ticking off a laundry list of to-dos in his head. "And I need to-"
"All of which can wait," I tell him.
"Not an option," he tells me as he retreats back into the bathroom. How is he not concerned with what's happening here?
"I beg to differ, vam-"
"You can let yourself out," he yells, slamming the door behind him. I don't hear the rest of whatever he's muttering. Something about going to hell… which I suppose is appropriate.
I sigh, flustered by his stubborn attitude.
Granted, I could destroy the door, pick him up, fling him into the car and make him do my will. But that would be counterproductive.
Instead, I wait him out and take a seat at the desk.
Nostalgically, I pull the top drawer open and begin to rifle through papers. I pick up the Prince disc I left behind the other day and see that it's empty. I could have sworn I put it back into its home but…
Then I notice another piece of paper - on top of the desk.
A letter addressed "Dear Edward."
I scan to the bottom and it's signed Bella.
She was here. But when? This wasn't here the other day. She must have …
My heart ceases to beat as I read her words.
Edward,
We made a deal, and you didn't keep your side of the bargain. I don't know if it was my past or yours that scared you off, but it really doesn't matter, does it? In the end, the results are the same. You don't have to worry about me coming around or stalking you like you stalked me. I can take a hint.
I'm going home. To Gila Bend. I'm going to embrace my past, just like you said. Regardless of how much my heart hurts from being ignored over the past two days, what you said was right. Everything seems so much clearer now. Somehow. I'm thankful for that at least.
I'm thankful for a lot of things, really. Even today, alone in your office, I don't regret what we did.
I've accepted who I am, Edward. I hope you can do the same.
There is a searing ache inside me as I finish reading. It doesn't subside. It doesn't fade. It only grows.
I toy with the edges of the paper Isabella's words are written on and try to stop my chest from imploding due to the anguish I've caused her. The anguish I've caused myself.
I lean back and gaze up at the stars adorning Edward Cullen's office ceiling once again. An exact replica of Zeus's world. One I'd despised for centuries, and yet, I feel a certain comfort from them now, in ways I never thought I could or would. Because of her.
"Do you think if Zeus and Poseidon had gotten past their arrogance that Cassiopeia might have fallen in love with one of them?" Isabella had inquired on the thick rug beneath me the other night.
"I think there isn't a goddess in existence that could have resisted their charms." I peeked down at her. "Had it not been for their arrogance."
Isabella snuggled closer as she stared up at the stars. Her fingers traveled along my arm until they skipped to my stomach and further down. "I don't know," she said, caressing me into an erection. "As a recently proclaimed goddess, myself-" she gently swung her leg over me, so she was facing me- "I think there are much more charming prospects out there."
It was the last thing she said before lowering herself and showing me the stars in a way I hadn't ever looked at them before.
I close my eyes and attempt to fight off the desolation I'm feeling. How am I ever going to make this right?
How do I stay? With her? As me?
I press the call button on my phone, but her damned voice recording answers again.
"Thanks for calling! I'm clearly unavailable but leave a message and-"
I end it. What I have to say cannot be said into a piece of technology.
I want to crush this phone right here and now.
"Still here?" The vampire's voice pulls me from my pondering, and I push myself up out of the chair and away from things I cannot deal with at the moment. I fold Isabella's letter and slide it into my pocket.
"Good, you're done showering. We need to leave."
He furrows his brow and gives me a sarcastic grin. "Look, Hades?" he says my name with an odd hesitation. Not that I can blame him. "I have responsibilities here. Who knows what all this time away has done to the-"
"Whatever you think is urgent right now, vampire, believe me. It's not."
"Yeah?" He takes a step back and studies me with annoyance. "And what is more important than, I don't know, my life?"
"Something I have to fix," I urge. "There's someone who needs some sort of closure if nothing else. It's the least that-"
"No offense-" his eyebrows shoot up a bit-"But that sounds like your problem. Not mine."
"You're going," I tell him as he begins to move papers around on his desk.
He stops and stares me down with another one of his angry scowls. "And why's that?"
"Because we're not going to disappoint her."
"Her." His expression changes abruptly, and his eyes fall to the floor. A single word and he's quickly gone from type A personality to practically meditating. He appears to be searching his memory for something when suddenly I feel as though he knows exactly who I'm referring to.
He mulls something over and ah… I see the brooding Emmett has referred to. There is a tangled web of self-loathing and conflict I feel I might identify with.
Finally, he nods with a frown on his lips. "Okay," he says without another argumentative word. He grabs his keys from the desk. "Let's go," he mutters, "Out the back, unless you want to spend the next hour soothing Jasper and his issues."
"How could you possibly know he's-"
"Jasper's got issues every day," he says. And I suppose I'd have to agree with that.
Before he leaves the office, the vampire glances over his shoulder and juts his chin toward the other side of the room. "Don't forget the hoodie," he says. "She'll be cold at night."
xXxXx
Edward Cullen has the windows down in the car, breathing air as though it's the first time he's experienced it. "It feels good to be alive again," he announces, and then thinks over the word he's used. "Dead, I guess. Technically." And the fretting has escalated.
"You seem to be taking the events of the past week rather well," I notice and mention.
"Something about getting another chance at living makes everything that happened seem… worth it."
Interesting take on one visit to Hell and another to the King of the Sea's domain.
"Who are you calling?" He's taken possession of his cell phone again. It's not lost on me that I know have no way of contacting Isabella, despite my hatred for the damned thing.
"A friend." He presses speaker on the screen. As soon as the call is answered, I know who it is.
"Ed...Hades? Have you-"
Edward grins slightly. "It's me, Em. Just wanted to let you know I'm alright."
"Ed?" His voice is filled with disbelief. And over the top enthusiasm. I can just about envision Emmett jumping up and down on the other end of the phone. "Shit. How did you - wait, is …" He hesitates, whispering the last bit. "Is he there?"
I roll my eyes and Edward peeks over from the passenger seat. I cannot help but feel a bit relieved that who I am doesn't appear to have too much of a shocking effect on these two.
"He's here," Edward tells his friend. "Long story. Listen, not a ton of time here, but about that night-"
"Seriously?" A snort from the other end of the line. "Two seconds back and you're already a guilt-ridden sack of sad Edward, obsessing over this again? Don't fucking worry about it."
And he's right. The guilt is written all over Edward's face. "I didn't mean to make you feel crappy, I-"
"I know you didn't, jackass. I'm not an idiot." I try to hide my smirk.
Pleasant chuckles fill the car from Edward, for the first time since I've personally known him, and from Emmett who is no doubt shaking with amusement, wherever he is.
"Can you make sure Brick and Mortar opens on time tonight? Jazz is probably a wreck, and-"
"Dude. You seriously have no idea. But don't worry, everything's covered. I'm just glad you're back. Where are you going?"
"We're taking a trip apparently." Edward breathes out with permanent gloom plastered across his face. "To um…" he looks over at me for direction and I finish for him.
"We're headed to Gila Bend, Emmett. To see Isabella."
Silence.
"Em?" Edward calls out, wondering if he lost the connection.
"How the f-"
I snatch the phone from Edward's hand and end the call. Then I put the thing away so he's not tempted to call back, making him any more skeptical than he already is about our objective at hand.
He doesn't fight me on it. He simply checks the music player for a CD, smiles slightly as he slides it back in, then turns the sound down as he relaxes into his seat. The quiet lyrics of Prince play as he watches the road speed by. His thoughts are nearly palpable. Mine drift to Isabella.
We need music for our road trip, she'd said on our way home from the beach when she put this exact CD into the player.
As the vampire daydreams, I begin to fear he may change his mind again and jump out of a moving vehicle to avoid coming along, so I attempt to distract him from his thoughts.
And me from mine.
"Why did you do it?"
He looks over at me, inquisitively. "What?"
"The stars. In your office."
The expression of a treasured memory passes over him, and a smile teases at the corners of his mouth. His hand lingers at his chin as he daydreams out the window. "I don't get out much during the day, as you probably know."
"So I've gathered."
He takes a deep breath and stretches his legs.
"Painting has always been a way for me to forget about my situation for a while. It makes me feel…"
"Normal."
"Yes. Exactly. It's one of the best escape mechanisms I've found, actually."
Interesting that he would need one. "But why on the ceiling of your office when you can see them any time you wanted, at night?"
He shrugs. "They make me feel like I'm home."
And this declaration. The way he says it has me curious. "How so?"
"They've always been that for me," he divulges. "I can read them, understand them, follow them to places I didn't know existed before. I met Emmett following those stars. And Jasper. And it was comforting, to finally see I wasn't the only one of… me out there, so-" he shrugs-"I painted them. Where I could always remind myself I'm not alone. Even in the middle of a sunny afternoon."
Home, he says. I'm not even sure where that is for me anymore.
"And this musician?" I ask, perhaps in an attempt to force my thoughts away from depressing subjects.
Edward allows himself a full-sized grin now. He even manages to let out what seems to be a halfhearted laugh. "I've watched thousands of artists rise and fall. He's the only one whose music speaks to me on the level his does."
Isabella said as much herself. I suddenly become puzzled about something.
"Tell me how you knew who I was referring to, back at the office? What drove you to come with me?"
He becomes uncomfortable, scowling at the floor in front of him.
"Dreams."
"I don't understand. You dreamt about-"
"I think they were dreams anyway," he interrupts, raking a hand through his disheveled hair, fisting it as though trying to forget what I'm asking him to remember.
"And what were these dreams about, pray tell?"
"Everything," he says. As though that's clarifying it for me.
"Hell?"
He shakes his head. "Honestly, that wasn't the worst part of it. I thought I'd finally ended up exactly where I belonged."
"Not everyone belongs where they end up, vampire," I muse, thinking on things I've learned of late. He doesn't agree.
"I've done terrible things," he confesses, much like he nearly did the first night we met. "Things I'm not proud of. Things I've-"
"Tried to atone for during the majority of your existence, from what I understand." If the conversations with Emmett were not enough, his constant penitence filled expression would sell me on that.
"Maybe. That doesn't erase any of it."
"But it shows your heart, vampire. And that, in many ways, is more important than one's past actions." As I've very recently learned.
"You sure you're the god of Hell?" he asks, almost jokingly. To be honest, I'm not positive myself anymore.
"Was it very tumultuous for you? Where I hid you away?"
"Mostly? Yes. It was pretty much unbearable." A thoughtful, pained look slowly turns into somewhat of wistful one as he stares out the window again. "Then there was this girl." He breathes in and lets it out slowly, as though the mere thought of her makes him breathe easier. And he seems to search for her along the roadway.
And oh, how I know that look. That feeling.
"She made me forget everything else for a while," he continues.
"What do you mean?" I ask, although I feel as though I don't need an explanation.
"The screaming, the howling, the scratching and tormenting… it all faded into the background like white noise when she was there. She smiled at me with this…"
"Brightness."
"Yeah," he agrees, wondering how I know.
"We danced," he remembers. "And she has this wit." He speaks as though she's right here with us. "She gets me like... "
"No one else ever could."
"Exactly."
"We sat on a beach for hours. She talked to me about Chaucer, for Christ's sake." He laughs. "And we studied the stars." He narrows his eyes, untrusting of this next part. "I showed her Orion." He sniggers just a tad. "And I have no fucking clue what that even is."
I roll my eyes. "Really, vampire. How do you study the stars and yet have no knowledge of the gods and their constellations?"
He shrugs. "I try to steer clear of studying too much of any religion, considering." He's being sarcastic, but I don't find it humorous.
"Religion has nothing to do with it."
"It has everything to do with it," he insists. And yes, I could debate that with him for the remainder of our trip, but I have much more important information to extract.
"About the girl…"
He nods, falling right back into recalling his time with her. "She was everything. Something that, quite honestly, I never thought possible but… it was real, right?" He's asking me, who has no idea if any of this is real anymore. "Or, it felt real. Somehow."
"It was real," I finally tell him.
Because even as my urges to kill her were real, so was the love he was feeling for her.
How could it not be?
"None of it makes much sense. I should have killed her right there."
"Agreed," I muse, not fully understanding the link between us through this whole experience.
"I remember wanting to kill her mostly," he continues, trying to work it all out for his own sanity. "And I was so angry for putting myself in a position like that, after all this time. It was a strong urge,but... somewhere along the line, I don't know." He laughs. "I-"
"Fell in love with her," I finish for him once again. Because that's what happened. We fell in love.
The god of Hell and the vampire.
He doesn't agree or disagree. He simply lets the word hang there between us.
"Woman," I tell him after a few minutes of silence.
"What?"
"She's not a girl," I tell him, focusing my stare at the road before us. "She's a woman."
xXxXx
My heart races as we pull up to the home I now know belongs to Isabella's mother.
I'm suddenly very nervous. What do I say to her? Can I say anything at this point? I'm not even me anymore. Or rather, I'm not Edward Cullen.
I'm not her lover. Or even her boyfriend.
I am Hades. King of Hell, once again.
We made a deal, and you didn't keep your side of the bargain.
I'm keeping it, now, Isabella.
"For what it's worth, vampire. I'm sorry," I say as I put the car in park and prepare myself for the encounter that awaits us.
"For which part?" he asks with only a tinge of bitterness laced around the edges.
I make eye contact with him. "For all of it."
As we exit the car, he stops me from heading off just yet. "I get it, you know."
"Which part?"
"All of it," he says with a painful expression akin to my own.
As we walk up to the house together, I watch him tug at his shirt sleeve, much like he did the first night we met. Then he pulls at the collar of his shirt and eyes the door we now stand in front of but doesn't do anything else. He doesn't breathe, or move, or blink an eye.
So I knock.
"I shouldn't be here," he mutters nervously. "I can already hear her heartbeat."
"Welcome to the club, vampire. Think of something else."
"What else is there to-?"
The door swings open and an older woman stands before us. She bears a striking resemblance to the woman I've fallen in love with, and I can't help but smile.
"Can I help you?" she asks with the same slight tilt of her head as her daughter.
The vampire is still mute and once again fiddling with this hair, so I step in to assist. "Hello, Ms. Dwyer. Is Isabella home?"
"Bella?" She turns and calls out behind her, pulling the door a bit wider. And when my goddess arrives at the door, my heart beats again. I'm lighter, clearer. I open my mouth to tell her how absolutely fulfilling it is to see her, but I'm cut off by the vampire.
"Bella." His face is full of everything I want to say. He appears a bit off balance but covers it well. His practice around humans has come in handy. But Isabella is not your run of the mill human.
I love you, I hear her say inside my mind. It seems like only a few short hours ago that she was back in a small room, inside the Brick and Mortar, naked beneath me like she had been so many other times.
Seeing her makes the world correct again. Until it's not.
She looks at me as though she has no idea who I am. Like we have no carnal knowledge of each other on so many different levels. And of course she doesn't. But then, there's something in her expression...
"Edward?" she says, holding my stare momentarily, despite her reservations. She's trying to piece together a puzzle she's already solved but can't accept. So she forces her attention to the vampire. "Where in the hell have you been?"
"Um."
For the love of Satan. I sigh. She glances my way and her brow dips, then she whips her gaze back to the vampire.
"I asked you a question."
He's unprepared to answer. As am I, I suppose. We hadn't discussed this particular story. And I wouldn't feel right lying to her at this point either.
"I-"
"I mean, okay, even if something came up, fine, but no texts? No return text? No call? Nothing? Really? After everything?"
"Um-" He's petrified. I have a petrified vampire standing next to me. Fantastic.
Her brow is raised, and she huffs in mock amusement.
"That can't be your answer," she tells him, almost daring him to tell her it is. Part of me wants him to fail. The other part, though, the one that loves Isabella and cannot stand to see her hurting like this… that part wants him to win her back.
Don't say Hell… do not say you were in Hell.
"Actually?" His eyes nonchalantly glance my way.
The idiot is going to tell her he was in Hell.
This is about to get awkward very fast, I'm convinced of it.
But then he inhales long and hard before asking her, "Have you ever read the Odyssey?" as he scratches at the back of his neck.
Sudden shock and surprise spread across her face, and I am relieved. He's not as stupid as I thought, apparently.
"Because-" he laughs and runs a hand through his hair again, grabbing it at the ends- "I've kind of felt like Odysseus for the last couple of days, to be honest."
Isabella's eyes dart from the vampire to me, hesitating as though she's still trying to place me, then back to him again.
She disappears for only a few seconds before returning with something in her hands. She holds the book out for us to see.
Him. For him to see.
"I literally just read it," she says, bewildered that he used the exact character she's been reading about to explain his loss of time away.
Edward looks at it, astonished. Confused. He takes it slowly. "You stole my book?"
Of course she did.
"Borrowed," she tells him. And I grin at her sarcasm.
He tilts his head and narrows his eyes in an almost teasingly way. "Did you have permission to steal my book?"
"Borrowed," she corrects him again, with a slight song to her voice and a half smile. "And I guess I just sort of assumed-"
"So, no on the permission."
"I-"
"You do realize that's called stealing."
Her mouth hangs open. She's unsure if he is joking or serious. I shake my head. And I want to choke the life out of him.
"I'm sorry," he says, leafing through it, admiring its pages. "It's just that it's a first edition of Pope's translation, and-"
"I noticed," she says, practically offended but also impressed and excited all of a sudden. "I can't believe you wrote notes in a first edition. Do you know how much this worth?"
"Of course I do." He closes it with one hand, raking a hand through his hair again with the other. "I bought it at auction." He huffs out a short laugh. "You know, as opposed to borrowing it."
Bella seems to find this comment slightly amusing.
"And I hadn't planned on selling it so-"
"Well why would you sell it? It's gorgeous," she tells him. Then a bit quieter, she adds, "Priceless." Her awe is showing. And he likes it. A bit too much.
His eyes meet hers, and his face wears a curious, pleasantly surprised expression. He's just met a kindred lover of extremely old printed things. "Priceless," he says, as though he's referring to more than just the book. "Exactly."
They share a connected moment, and she takes a step toward him. And why not? She's drawn to him, she always has been. But it causes the vampire to put a bit more distance between them, carefully handing the book back to her.
She has an odd reaction when their fingers touch, and I'm struck with a looming fear as she reaches for him again. It almost seems as though she's testing a theory out. Then she takes a few steps backward again and tucks the book under her arms, sort of hugging herself as she tries to understand the vampire. Tries to understand what it is about him.
"You seem different," she says.
"I feel different," he tells her, like it's a confession of some sort.
She pushes some hair behind her ear then remembers where her thoughts were previously. "This doesn't get you off the hook, by the way, just because you come here and make me laugh for a hot second."
He holds her gaze and tells her earnestly, "I would hope not."
She looks deflated. She was planning on more of a fight, perhaps. Excuses. She got none. And then, just as I believe I'm in the clear, she turns her attention to me.
"Who is your friend?"
Edward makes an awkward attempt. "This is…" but comes up short of ideas.
"Aiden." I give her a modern take on an ancient version of my name, Aides, that won't sound so old. Hopefully.
As our eyes lock, I feel the overwhelming urge to pull her to me. To tell her I love her, over and over again. To place my lips against hers and pick up where we left off not so long ago.
"Aiden." She practically whispers my name, and once again, I long to hear my true namesake fall from her lips as it did only once.
"Are you two hungry? We have leftovers?" Her mother breaks the silence between us.
"We'd love some," I say without a moment's thought, and yet can hear Isabella telling her mother no at the same time, quite louder than me.
There's an awkward pause between the four of us. Her mother asks, politely, "Drinks, then? Perhaps?"
Isabella gives her mother a look of warning, but it's matched by the woman who gave her life.
"Show your friends the backyard, baby girl. I'll bring some tea out in a few."
"Mom-"
"Do what your mother tells you, dear." She winks at her daughter and leaves the vampire and me there with the woman we both love.
Isabella bites her lip before pushing past the two of us while rubbing her arms for warmth. "Follow me."
"Oh, right. Wait right there," Edward suddenly blurts out. He runs off to the car, leaving me alone with Isabella.
"Does he have another friend hiding in there or something?" she asks me.
"No," I inform her, "It's just me," perplexed she would think such a thing, as the vampire arrives back as quickly as he left.
He holds the dreaded hoodie of hers out to her. "I thought you might be cold," he tells her. Then, with a half grin, he says, "And I don't borrow things without asking."
She doesn't want to laugh, but I see it in her eyes. It's there as she pulls the jacket on - the same glimmer of adoration she used to award me with. And it hurts, watching them tangled together as he attempts to help her put the damned jacket on. She actually seems to enjoy the clumsiness of it all, for fucks sake.
"I know that dress," the vampire says, mystified, as he takes her in for the first time since we arrived. He's quite literally gawking at Isabella with the strangest of stares. He's trying to place the clothing but can't quite decipher real memories from the dreams, I would bet.
"I should hope so," she tells him in a surprisingly flirtatious way. "You bought it for me."
I glower. I bought it for you. Does she not see me here, pining for her like a small boy with his first crush?
"You look beautiful in it," Edward muses, almost embarrassed to say it out loud. Shy perhaps. It's pitiful, really. A bashful vampire.
"You took it off of me," she murmurs in response with a knowing smile and a slightly raised eyebrow. He swallows, apprehensive about being so close to her, perhaps. Still, the two of them are caught up in some sort of romantic, Arizona star filled sky moment. Neither one of them moves for what feels like an eternity.
Jealousy begins to churn inside me as they enjoy their moment of bliss.
Then, as though she's only just now realized there are more people here than her and the bloodthirsty vampire who now looks as though he wants to rip her throat out, she shakes her head and… Welcome back to reality, Isabella.
Fuck.
I give the vampire a bit of a scowl as we follow her the rest of the way into the backyard. There, our hostess busies herself, grabbing some chairs for us.
And that blush.
It's meant for me.
As we sit, Isabella's mother brings three glasses of her tea that's made from scratch. Then she disappears again, into the house. Isabella seems to want her to stay, but it's too late. She's gone. And I am a useless thing, sitting here, jealous of the attention that a ridiculous dress is getting and of the vampire who's taking credit for removing it from the vixen I purchased it for.
He watches her from a distance with the awestruck gaze of a man falling further into love. And I shoot him the angry look of a god who is powerless to strike him down where he sits. Unless, of course, I'd like the world to know that Greek gods exist and that one of them is here, in Gila fucking Bend.
When I notice the concerned looks upon everyone's faces, I wonder if perhaps if I've done just that.
It turns out, unbeknownst to me, the glass of homemade sweet tea I've been holding is now scattered into a million tiny pieces on the concrete below.
"I'm sorry," I mutter, blinking the fury away. "I'll-"
"It's okay, I've got it," Isabella says. When she takes the last remaining jagged piece from my hands, carefully, my breath is caught in the back of my throat.
Talk to me, she'd once said.
I'd much rather kiss you again, I had answered. And oh how I want to kiss her now. Everywhere. Anywhere. As long as my lips are on her.
Isabella freezes when our hands touch, and our eyes meet once again. I silently beg her to recognize me as the man… the god who loves her. This time, she seems to remember something. Perhaps something about grazing fingers, and well-placed kisses, and dresses that were removed effortlessly.
The moment is gone as quickly as it began, and she carries on with cleaning up the mess I've made. It's only I that am left with the memory of the two of us now. Bella has convinced herself she's mistaken.
Once the broken shards are completely gone, Isabella's mother replaces the glass. She whispers something into her daughter's ear, and the object of my desires relaxes some into a lawn chair, reminding me of the one she nudged me into on the balcony at the beach.
I said no expectations, Isabella.
But I didn't.
She leans back and Edward cautiously watches her from where he sits. I fear if he touches her again, I might rip him apart and send him back to Tartarus after all.
As Isabella looks up at the sky above her, her entire body seems to sigh with contentedness as she attempts to place some of them.
"They're so clear tonight. I told you that you could see them forever, here."
Edward follows her gaze. I can't be bothered. I already know the stars, and besides, I'm too busy appreciating the exposed neckline Isabella is allowing me to admire at the moment.
Perfection.
I lick my lips and imagine placing gentle kisses along her jawline. Against her breasts. Between her legs.
Movement catches my eye, and I watch helplessly as the vampire takes Isabella's hand in his. "Weird how we really only see one of every one hundred million stars in the galaxy. It puts things into perspective, doesn't it?" he asks.
"Yeah," Isabella replies. Slightly perplexed. "Tell me about them?"
He sighs happily. "I'm surprised to see the North Star so prominent, honestly," Edward tells her with the voice of a creature who views them simply as scientific bodies of gas.
Unbelievable.
"And Cassiopeia?" she asks him. There's a tone to her voice; a tone that's more lustful than wistful. My body responds with that chill she's given me since the day we met.
You put her beauty to shame.
"Who?" the vampire responds. I let out a breath of sheer frustration and rub at my temple.
"The constellation?"
We literally just spoke about this. Idiot.
He looks up again, and points. "I think that's Orion."
For the love of Satan. I nudge him and jut my chin toward where the bastard of Poseidon actually lights up the sky. Edward is at a loss, however, and I am astounded at the absence of the Greeks in his knowledge base once again.
I bow my head into my hand and cannot believe the idiocy of this creature. It's literally painful to listen to him prattle.
"You have something to add?" Isabella asks, and I look up to see she's staring at me with - annoyance?
I give her a slight smirk. "Orion is-" I point, in quite the opposite direction of where Edward has- "Over there." I pause for her find it. "As for your Cassiopeia, she's still hangs where we-." I stop myself and clear my throat. "Where the gods left her. Just there." I point, remembering how it felt to have Isabella lean against me in the room full of stars. And how her entire body blushed that afternoon.
And the other brother?
You won't find him there.
I bite my lip as I stare at her, letting thoughts of telling her everything invade my mind, wanting nothing more than to make her see the stars in other, more gratifying ways. For the both of us.
She catches me staring, and the glow of her skin is back. At least I know I can still bring that out in her.
I don't break the stare. And she doesn't either, at first. But then, unsurprisingly, she looks away, unable to understand why I make her so uncomfortable. Then she turns to Edward, studying his expression, and is searching for words.
His face flushes a bit. Not enough for Isabella to notice, however. Just us supernatural creatures lurking in her backyard.
It's quiet for a few moments between the three of us, but Isabella, as usual, eventually finds her voice.
"I need some answers, Edward," she tells him seriously. "You obviously aren't really Odysseus."
He purses his lips, and his brow curves downward as she continues.
"I won't lie to you. I dreamed of you coming here more than once, because this is the crazy kind of stunt you used to pull. But now that you're here…"
He leans toward her like a magnet to its opposite without thought. "Bella, I-"
"I didn't realize how much it would hurt because it doesn't change what you did." Tears begin to push their way through her words now.
The sound of her pain tears at my chest like a pitchfork to the heart. The vision of it is ten times that.
"Either you don't accept me, or you don't care enough to protect my heart after what I told you... after we, me and you… that rug."
Say something, you idiot vampire. Fucking say something.
But he can't, he has no idea what she's referring to. It happened after he was taken from Hell.
For fucks sake.
"It's my doing actually, Isabella," I tell her rather desperately, before she says something all of us will undoubtedly regret.
She eyes me carefully, annoyed at first for interrupting her. Then she narrows her stare, as though maybe she recognizes me once more. "Wait-" she looks back to Edward- "Does this have something to do with your mafia connections?"
And he could not be more confused. "Mafia?" He lets out a baffled laugh. "I-"
"Yes." They both gawk at me as I blurt out my reply. And, for once, I want to kiss Rose for giving me the answer to our problem. "And it's gambling, actually," I correct Isabella. "We try not to get tangled up with the Mafiosi, to be quite honest."
It sounds perfectly acceptable to me.
To Isabella, however...
"Oh." She gives me a mocking sigh of relief. "Well that's a good thing then, because we wouldn't want any dangerous people involved, now would we?"
She's angry. I know I deserve it. The vampire doesn't. He's mouthing silently to me now.
Gambling?
"I needed Edward to help me find something I'd lost," I tell her carefully. Hopefully. Semi-truthfully. "He owed me a debt. He's paid it now."
It's the other way around in reality.
I owe him everything.
"So you found what you're looking for, I assume?" She's still glaring at me but with a bit of familiarity there. I not only see it. I feel it. She's denying it to herself, however.
And I hold on to the moment as long as I can without seeming awkward. "Yes."
She's back to looking to Edward for answers now, and I try to calm his concerns by mouthing long story to him.
"And you came here because?" she asks him.
I answer before he has a chance to, speaking for myself. "Because he couldn't be away from you another minute," I tell her. When she finds me staring at her again, I add, "His heart is here. It's where he belongs, after all."
Her eyes search mine for something.
She doesn't find it. Or doesn't want to.
"Is that true?" she asks the vampire.
When I start to answer her, she holds a hand up to me. "Stop speaking for him," she says, agitated with me for more than the first time tonight.
"I'm simply-"
"Aiden," Edward says to me quietly yet sternly as he gives me a reassuring eye. "I've got this."
And when he turns to face Isabella himself, he takes her hand in his. Although I see the hesitant bodily reaction he has to touching such a delicate creature, I also notice his gentleness and sincerity as he looks into her eyes.
He takes a deep breath in as though testing himself then lets it out slowly before beginning.
"Bella, had someone told me a week, two weeks, a month ago that I would find myself tormented by the need to be near another human being, much less one as-" he pauses for just the right words- "Beautiful, yes, but more than that… funny, ridiculously smart, sarcastic, and not to mention having the deep-seated love of literature that drives you to steal it, I would have-" He laughs. "Hell. I actually did tell Emmett he was crazy, but now…" He hesitates and swallows. Breathes deeply again.
"Now?" she urges. And he looks as though he's lost his train of thought.
"Where was I?"
"What Aiden said?"
"Right…" He leans in close. Too close for a vampire who's as thirsty as he probably is.
I see it in his expression. He doesn't even understand it himself, and yet here I am, comprehending it on the deepest, darkest level of the universe.
"It's absolutely, unequivocally, one hundred percent the truth," he tells her.
And, fuck.
As I watch the two of them bridge the gap that haunted us all when we first arrived, I realize that not only have I lost my Isabella, I never had her to begin with.
She doesn't quite make eye contact with me as she responds to what he's said. "What about… I mean, this can't keep happening, Edward."
"I can promise it won't," I finally chime in again. "Edward is no longer bound to any commitments he previously had to my… organization."
Also the truth.
"I appreciate that, Aiden," she tells me cautiously, wondering if she can trust me.
I want her to. So very badly. She nearly did just a few short days ago.
"Would you mind giving Edward and me a moment of privacy?" she asks. And I debate it. I don't know if I can trust the vampire to not screw this up, however, he's urging me to do as she asks. When I meet her eyes again, I realize I have no choice but to give Isabella what she desires. As always.
"Of course." I leave, subdued. Angry. Frustrated with my situation.
Yet I have no privacy here. So I head for the car, where I know it's quiet. And as I pass Isabella's mother on the way, sitting on the front steps of her home, staring up at the sky, she glances over at me with a sad smile.
"Thank you for having us, Mrs. Dwyer," I tell her softly.
Her smile turns into a grimace. "I'm sorry."
Which stops me in my tracks. I'm not sure what she could possibly be apologizing for.
"Sorry?"
"I can't say I completely understand what's going on between the three of you," she tells me in a soft, motherly sort of way. "But I do know a man in love when I see it. And it must be hard for you to watch my Bella swoon over her beau back there."
Her words sting.
Bile rises in the back of my throat.
I should convince her she's wrong. Tell her she's made a mistake. This is not about me, after all.
All I can do, as my chest cracks open and the anguish of not being able to hold Isabella in my arms again spills out, is to try and give her my best grin.
"Goodnight, Mrs. Dwyer."
I finish my trek to the car and slide in behind the steering wheel, slam the door, and simmer in the bitterness finding the vampire has created.
I close my eyes. I search for answers.
What did I think was going to happen once the real Edward Cullen was back?
How did I think this would end?
With her at my side. Always. That's how.
The vampire interrupts my thoughts as he gives a half wave to Bella and her mother. "Thank you again for your time."
Then he pulls the door open, slides into the car, and gently shuts the door. "We have to leave."
"Why? What is that?" I ask him as he places a book she's given him on the floor of the back seat.
He shakes his head. "Not sure. Harry something or other. She says I have a lot of catching up to do"
"Potter," I tell him with a grin. The rest suddenly doesn't matter.
"What?"
"The book. It's Harry Potter."
xXxXx
For half of the car ride, the vampire is worse than Isabella with his thoughtful stares and quiet disposition. If only I could read thoughts, this would go much smoother.
"What happened?" I finally ask him, my patience gone, as he fidgets and tampers with gadgets on the console.
"This whole thing is wrong." He shakes his head as he taps his fingers against his lips.
He jerks his hand away and flicks his wrist at the air. "I'm not who she thinks I am."
"You're precisely who she thinks you are. For once."
"I don't like it."
"You don't like what, exactly?" The beautiful perfection of a goddess he's just won over? The life he now has? Granted, it's the one I took from him in the first place but … technicalities.
"I can't be with her," he says with a dark look. "You know that, right? You have to know that. Of all people, you should understand that. I don't even know how I can feel this way about… I barely know her."
"I think you know that's not true."
He huffs in frustration. "You don't get it."
"I do," I assure him. In more ways than one, I understand.
"No, Hades, I don't think you do. I'm not even any good at being with anyone. Did you see me back there? I was a disaster, for Christ's sake."
"Well." I laugh. "The boy Christ has nothing to do with it, but you were a disaster."
"And the blood lust is… I mean, it's only a matter of time before she finds out what I've done in the past, right? Or before I…"
I breathe out. Because oh, do I know what he's feeling.
"All you can do is trust her. And tell her. When you're ready." Much like I was about to when Poseidon intervened. Then, quoting a large bouncer I recently met, I tell him, "And there's always going to blood lust, Edward,"
"Great. Now you sound like Emmett."
I can't help but grin.
"How do you feel about her?" I ask him a few minutes later.
He doesn't want to admit it, but I can hear it in his next words. "I don't know how I feel - I have these memories of pouring my heart out to her, these urges to hold her…" His stare wanders. "Kiss her…" Then his gaze comes back to me. "But you…" He shakes his head. "You're the one they happened to, right? It's -"
"Not fair."
"I was going to say confusing," he tells me, almost surprised I didn't get it right this time.
As am I. Interesting.
As we pull into the parking lot of the Brick and Mortar, I park the car and turn to face him.
"Vampire, do you feel you're the same… creature you were before we met?"
His brow dips in thought. "No. Absolutely not. I mean, I was on a path to make sure I never did the things I have before, but now…"
"Yes?"
"After facing what's waiting for me when this life is actually over? I don't feel like it's even an option anymore. I want to make everything right that I've done wrong. I want to breathe air and feel sunlight on my-"
"Do you see where this is going?"
He doesn't answer.
"Not many are afforded another opportunity to right their wrongs once they've entered the underworld."
After he lets that sink in, he seems resolved. Then he sighs and nods. "Take the car, return it when you can. I'll probably stay here anyway. I've got a lot to-"
"Catch up on, yes." I nod.
He corrects me. "Think about."
He leaves the car and is about ten steps away when he snaps his fingers and returns. He reaches into the back seat and takes the book that Isabella has given him. Then he allows himself a semi smile when our eyes meet.
"She obviously thought it was important that I read it, right?'
"Indeed," I tell him. Then he's off to his bar. As he walks up to the Brick and Mortar, and before he's at the door, I see Emmett there, welcoming him back with a hug. They exchange words for a few moments and then disappear inside.
I think about going in myself, but I don't belong there. Not anymore.
Luckily, there are plenty of establishments around to suit my needs. I find another one, not too far away, and I go in to drown my thoughts into a bottle of tequila. Or ten.
As I sit on the iron barstool, time passes. People come and go, liquor is consumed, but none of it changes the fact that Isabella no longer looks at me as she did before.
The constant sinking feeling in my chest reminds me that she no longer wants me to cup her face or kiss her lips or trace ridiculous letters against her skin.
These are all things the vampire will do now… eventually. But me? I'm but a stranger now. I suppose I always have been.
I'm lost in thoughts of thick white rugs and hotel balconies when I'm brought out of them by a large burly man who bumps into me as he passes by.
I'm exhausted.
My ass is numb.
My thoughts are foggy.
My mouth, dry.
I need another drink, and yet I feel that even ten thousand more wouldn't drown my thoughts of Isabella.
The first night I met her.
The music that played.
The smile.
The kiss.
The … "Fuck."
"Is that a promise or a threat?" the bartender asks with a rough, scratchy voice as she puffs on a cigarette that hangs from the corner of her mouth. She's not as buoyant as the one at Brick and Mortar, nor as reassuring.
Not that it matters.
The stench of stale beer that should have been able to make me forget about my own problems instead has me mulling over every single moment from the past months.
No… not months. Has it only been weeks? Days? Perhaps even less for all I know. Or care.
I push myself up and away from the bar.
I think on all the choices I've made and the ones others have made.
The outcome of those choices.
The pain it's caused on too many accounts.
And outside, as water falls from the sky, drenching me head to toe within seconds, I realize who needs to pay for it all. Who's at fault for where I stand with the woman I love.
I clench my teeth and say the name I know will bring him to me.
"Poseidon."
PSA: Song for this one is Possum Kingdom by Toadies. Its purpose lies somewhere between a chapter end song and a teaser for what's to come.
Thanks to Paige over in the Find Your Ward group for rec'ing Hades & Bella's stories last week.
You're definitely going to want to go read Bella's side in belladonnacullen's "Friend of the Devil", guys. Click the link in my favorite stories folder for easy access. So many little scenes this week were inspired by Marie's brain. *happy sigh*
Thanks to the bottom of Hades' broken heart to Sue, Chrisanne, Marie and you guys - because your thoughts make us smile like Edward when he's finally freed from Hell. And speaking of Hell, we're taking next Friday off. Marie has things, I have things - you probably have things… so we'll see you in December.