Self-Betrayal
It had been a long time since he'd seen her in person. Actually, it had been since the day after the night she was attacked by Kimiko Morizumi. He knew why he was only seeing her now on the big screen. It was him, his fault. He had made the biggest mistake of his life and now she was clearly "The One That Got Away". His self pity and jealousy, ruined everything. He had broken her heart.
He realized the moment he saw her face that he had done more damage than her childhood friend could ever hope to. It was in the moment that his "Revenge Girlfriend" had comfortably wrapped her arms around his and pushed her ample breasts against him, that he knew that she would never look his way again. The almost strangled words of "Congratulations Tsuruga-san, I'm very happy for you." echoed in his mind as he now sat alone, watching the ad for her latest Hollywood movie. She seemed to get more and more beautiful every time she publicly appeared.
He watched from afar. He read all of the articles they printed about her. He had seen and collected all her movies and dramas that he could. She had handled fame rather well. She always circumnavigated the rumors about her like she had been doing it all of her life. She was never seen publicly dating actors or musicians. It was always a director or producer. She was asked once about it and she just smiled, giggled and told the host of the show, "I've learned my lesson.".
Yes, she had closed her heart to him and any other potential love interest, male or female. He discovered through rumor that her dating was for "show", to keep the LoveMon off her back. It saddened him that he was potentially the cause of that. No, there was no potentially about it; He was the cause of the problem and there was no way he could fix it. He had tried many times to talk to her and apologize to her. Confess to her. Tell her his heart and life were now completely devoid of all joy and color without her, but she and her manager refused to allow him near her.
At first he was angered over her perceived slight, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he was much worse than the hated friend that she had forgiven. Sho Fuwa broke her trust. He was family that betrayed her and that was something that she had experienced through her mother, but he did something much worse. He actually broke her heart. He reached into her chest, pulled it out and crushed it with his own two hands. He had nightmares about it at least three times a week since that day.
He drove her away over his petty insecurity. He wanted to run to her, fall to his knees and beg forgiveness. He often wondered what she would say if after this past five years, he did something like that. Would she turn and walk away? Would her bodyguard drag him away like a crazed fan? He figured that she would walk away, more than anything, especially after her discovery that he was Kuon Hizuri. Another huge mistake he had made with her. He lied. He lied a lie that was too big for even him to forgive. He made the entire base of her childhood "One Big Lie". Not even he could forgive himself for not telling her as soon as he made the discovery.
"And the winner for Best Actress is Kyoko!" The elegantly dressed woman announced excitedly. "Congratulations Kyoko!"
He watched from his sofa as the angelic beauty excitedly made her way to the stage, being congratulated by each of her peers.
"I really don't know what to say." She said breathlessly as she cradled the little golden man in her arms. "I would like to thank all of the cast and crew. Without them, I could have never achieved this." She smiled softly. "I would also like to thank my father, Lory Takarada for his encouragement. My friends and most of all I would like to thank one very special person for all of their love and support, without which I would have never survived the hard times without." She smiled and waved into the sea of faces. "I love you Yuki! You're going to be a Daddy!" The audience erupted in a wave of Aw's and squeals. "Thank you for being the best husband a woman could ever dream of having." She blew a kiss to the man that the cameras now were focused on. Yukihito Yashiro. At that moment, he most certainly wasn't the only one that was shocked by the news.
Kuon dropped his glass to the floor in shock. He had known that Yashiro had been appointed as her manager. He had told him himself, before they had left. Should he feel betrayed or should he feel directly responsible for this? He had been warned and he brushed it aside. He was now paying for his carelessness, Kyoko was not the type to walk away from a man that returned her love and her love was not easily given. He knew deep in his soul that Yukihito had fought an uphill battle for a place in her heart. No, he had no right to feel betrayed or jealous. That time had passed long ago.